Friday, March 7, 2014

Let's Talk About Dialogue by Rita Karnopp


 “Stop describing every little thing.  I get it.  I do have a voice and the reader has an imagination,” the character said.
“Well, that’s rude. I just wanted you to feel the hot, dry, skin-cracking, desert air.”  The writer clenched her teeth and swallowed hard.
The character shook her head.  “I get it, but why don’t I just say, ‘This desert air is killing me.  Look, my lips are bleeding.’ Dialog is active and involves the reader. It falls in that overused line, ‘show - don’t tell.’

Okay – so you get my point, right?  Don’t you just hate reading paragraph after paragraph of description or information?  If you’re like me you start skimming until you find dialog.  That should never happen.

Let’s face it – a story is all about interaction – which is dialog.  And if you’re honest, you know when you’ve gone on too long with descriptions, flashbacks, or even thoughts.  Dialog is the action maker.  Dialog keeps us connected with the characters.  Dialog reveals personality and exposes what is going on around him/her without author intrusion.

We can feel our story slow down when there isn’t enough dialog.  Your story should flow with a consistent amount of thoughts or descriptions.  Long paragraphs of filler creates a great place for the reader to ‘stop’ reading.  Boy – you don’t want that.

Use ‘dialog’ to describe a scene, rather than narrative to describe it.  Every chance you get – use dialog.  Don’t tell how angry your character is – show how angry he/she is with dialog.
Do the same with happy, sad, scared, depressed, etc.  Use dialog as your shining light – leading the reader down the dark hall, revealing what’s ahead with each step and each word.

I went to a RWA conference many years ago and an actress shared with us how she works out a scene by physically going through the actions before writing the scene.  Once you feel the actual action, use dialog to share what you experienced and the scene will come alive.  Let’s compare for a minute -

            Lily stepped into the crime scene noticed her partner nearly vomited.  She took the scene in.  It wasn’t a pretty sight. The small bathroom appeared to have been painted in blood.  The naked victim lay in the dry shower.  It was impossible to count how many times he’d been stabbed. He’d been shot in the head once. It had to be a crime of passion.
            “It’s going to be one of those days, Jordan,” she said, moving toward the victim.

Let’s rewrite this scene – using dialog to learn what’s going on.
         
            Jordan stepped beside her, a cloth to his mouth.  Lilly gave her partner a stern glance and shook her head.  “Damn, what do we have here?”
            “A stinking mess, if you ask me.” He cleared his throat and swallowed hard.
            “What are you trying to tell us, Lance Johnson?” She inched toward the naked victim lying on the dry shower base.  “I’d say the doer used that towel and smeared the victim’s blood on all four walls. Why?”
            “You asking me?  Hell, I don’t know.  Killer is making a statement.”
            “I agree, but what is that statement?  He means nothing.  Maybe he smeared someone’s name, demeaning them.  This is payback.”
            “Could be.  Head shot looks after-the-fact.”
            “I noticed there wasn’t any blood near the wound, I agree.  Another reason it’s a crime of passion.  I’d say the killer’s a woman.”
            “Doesn’t look like a woman’s MO.”
            “Normally I’d agree, but this one reads a woman scorned.”
         
Nothing – absolutely nothing can replace dialog.  It’s better to share information in dialog than in the character’s thoughts.  But, don’t get caught up creating short back-and-forth exchanges.  If your dialog doesn’t advance the story – you’re stalling. Don’t do the;
            “Good morning, Jana.”
            “Good morning, Sue.”
            “Have a great day.”
            Sue smiled.  “You have a great day, too.”

Boring for sure.  It doesn’t add anything to the scene or the situation.  Of course had you written something like this – it changes everything.

            “Good morning, Jana.”
            “What the hell’s good about it?  Johnson just fired me.”
            “No possible way.  Did you tell him you were being harassed?” Sue leaned over and hugged her friend.
            “He didn’t believe me.  Said either I could forget about the whole damn thing or I was fired.”

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Give Your Character A Meaningful Name

This is a post Rita shared on "Dishin' It Out.  I think you'll enjoy it.


www.blessedsacrament.org 
I don’t know about you, but I think choosing a name for my character is one of the most exciting steps of writing!  It’s like naming a child.  I’ll admit, I’ve chosen badly a time or two and just had to change it.  If you name your character Bob . . . and he behaves like a Heraldo . . . you must change it.  Bottom line – a name must ‘fit the character.’

A few things to keep in mind when picking names;
1.   nationality
2.   Personality
3.   Name meanings
4.   Time-frame of story
5.   Genre
6.   Research – research - research
7.   Don’t name characters starting with the same initials (Lisa, Lora, Lana…)

If I’m writing a Native American 1800s story I know my names must fit the nationality and the time-frame I’m writing.  Names mean something, and in the Blackfeet world, a man can perform a great coup and change his name each time.  Tribe members can also give someone a new name.  Puts a whole new perspective on naming conventions, doesn’t it?  You have to know the history of the person you’re naming.  If you don’t, be prepared for a savvy reader to point out your mistake.


Popular mystery writer Elizabeth Sims (the Rita Farmer Mysteries) shared seven great rules for choosing character names.  I read this checklist to remind myself of the importance of naming my characters.  Consider each of these rules before you start naming your characters.
1. Check root meanings.  It’s better to call a character Caleb, which means “faithful” or “faithful dog,” than to overkill it by naming him Loyal or Goodman—unless you want that for comic/ironic purposes. Some readers will know the name’s root meaning, but those who don’t might sense it.

2. Get your era right. If you need a name for an 18-year-old shopgirl in a corset store in 1930s Atlanta, you know enough not to choose Sierra or Courtney, unless such an unusual name is part of your story. Browse for names in the era you’re writing. A Depression-era shopgirl who needs a quick name could go by Myrtle or Jane; it will feel right to the reader. Small public libraries will often have decades’ worth of local high school yearbooks on the shelves. Those things are gold for finding name combinations from the proper era.

3. Speak them out loud. Your novel might become an audiobook or an e-book with text-to-speech enabled. A perfectly good name on paper, such as Adam Messina, may sound unclear aloud: Adam Essina? Adah Messina?

4. Manage your crew appropriately. Distinguish your large cast of characters by using different first initials, of course, and vary your number of syllables and places of emphasis. Grace Metalious (a great name right there) demonstrates this in her blockbuster Peyton Place, as do any of the successful epic writers like James Michener and Larry McMurtry.

5. Use alliterative initials. Employ this strategy to call special attention to a character: Daniel Deronda, Bilbo Baggins, Ratso Rizzo, Severus Snape.

6. Think it through. You might notice that in most crime fiction the murderer rarely has a middle name or initial. Why? Because the more you explicate the name, the more likely there’s a real person out there with it. And reading your story they might become upset and try to sue you or come after you some night with a bayonet.

7. Check ’em again. When writing my novel The Actress, I needed a name for a Japanese-American criminal defense attorney, and the name Gary Kwan burst upon me. I loved the name and used it in the book. Only thing was, as soon as the thousands of copies of hardcovers were printed and shipped to stores, I heard from a reader who pointed out the simple fact that Kwan is a Chinese surname. I cursed loudly and decided: a) that I would ALWAYS check name origins, and b) that Gary Kwan had a Chinese grandfather who adopted a Japanese orphan who became Gary’s father. Or something like that.

Naming characters just right is a challenge, but give it some time and thought, and you’ll start to find the fun in it. Study the names great authors have come up with, let your mind loose to play, do your research, and above all, trust your ear.
And if worst comes to worst, here’s hoping you’re like Oates and lucky enough to just bump into your character in a dream—where you can ask him yourself.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Logic? Sure Thing!

Do You Really Understand English  



Everyone who reads my blog knows I love Reader’s Digest.  
In their September 2010 issue, they presented an article by 
Melissa Demeo and Paul Silverman that resonated with me. 
Although I like to think I’m literate when it comes to speaking
 and writing, I honestly had to pause after each example and 
consider if I’m an offender.

I’m going to share some of their tips with you today.  I suppose as
 long as I’ve credited the magazine and authors, I won’t be brought 
up on plagiarism charges.  I’ve “bolded” the correct examples
 below,and in some cases, both are appropriate when used in 
the correct situation:

Could care less versus Couldn’t care less:  Because you care so
 little already, you couldn’t care less.

Less versus Fewer:  Recommend the use of fewer when you
 specify a number of countable things (50 words or fewer).  
Less is appropriate when speaking of mass amount (less than half.)
 *Raising
 hand as guilty on this one.*

Hone in versus Home in: Since hone means to sharpen, Home in
comes from “homing pigeons.” which indicates being single-minded.  
You either want to home in on something or, if you’re confused,
 zero in on the topic.

Brother-in-laws versus Brothers-in-law:  Form the plural by adding 
an s to the thing there is more than one of.  Of course an ‘s would
 indicate possession by one brother-in-law.  (applies to runners-up
and hole in ones, too)

Different than versus Different from: If you can substitute “from: 
for than, then do it.  Use “than” for comparisons.  Example:  My office 
is different from any other in the building.  My office is bigger than 
any other in the building.  *Raising hand as guilty on this one.*

Try versus Try to: If you are planning to do something, then try to
do it.Of course, try and try again makes sense, but remember the rule.

Supposably versus Supposedly: Although spell check tells me that
 supposably is not a word, it is one—meaning “conceivably.”  But, if
 you’re trying to relay, “it’s assumed” than supposedly is what you
 want to say and what most people recognize as correct English.

All of versus All:  Drop “of” whenever you can, but not before a pronoun.
 Examples:  All the children were in their seats.  All of them were in
 their seats.

Outside of versus Outside: Both are prepositions and weren’t meant
 to be used together. 

Each other versus One AnotherEach other is appropriate when
 speaking of two people or things. Example: Ginger and Barbara
 present each other with a gift for the occasion.  One another is used
 when more are involved. 
 Example:  The debaters argued with one another.

Now for some confusing pairs:

Wary = suspicious
Weary = tired
Farther = physical distance
Further = metaphorical distance or time
Principle = rule
Principal = School official
Compliment = saying a nice thing
Complement = match
Continual = ongoing but intermittent
Continuous = without interruption
Stationary = doesn’t move
Stationery = paper
Imply = suggest a meaning
Infer = draw meaning from something
Affect (v) = to act upon. (n) = an emotional response
Effect (n) = something produced, but as a verb) to bring about  

If you’re like me, you’re still confused about affect versus effect, 
so here are some examples: His bad behavior affected the entire
classroom.  His bad behavior had a negative effect in the classroom.

I still don’t get the “emotional response” usage of affect as a noun.

A few last helpful hints:  Did you know that saying “at this point in time”
is redundant?  Point and time have the same meaning in this instance.  
At this time, at this point…

Past history?  Isn’t all history past?

Be careful where you place your modifiers…if you even need one.  
If you read this sentence with “even” placed after “need”, the meaning
of the sentence is changed.  “Only, also, and even can impact your story
if you aren’t careful.

And one of my favorites,  I versus me:  When comparing yourself to 
someone or something, use I.  “Am” is implied so consider that “me am”
is not apppropriate. Meow is, if you’re a cat.  J

The rules continue to grow the more I write.  Just when I think I have
grasp on something, one house claims the rule inappropriate and 
I have to change my logic.  What logic, I say….there is none in writing. 
But just in case you want to check out my accomplishments, please
visit my website at http://www.gingersimpson.com and see if you think
I understand English.  Now don’t forget, we’re talking U.S. English, 
not The Queen’s English. You won't find any unnecessary "u" instances,
 such has favour or favourites.

Shouldn’t English be English?  See, I told you…no logic.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Interview with Tyler Bishop from Ellie's Legacy

Interviewer:
We’re very pleased to have Tyler Bishop with us today.  Mr. Bishop is the hero in
 Ginger’s Simpson’s western historical romance, Ellie's Legacy.  So, Mr. Bishop, 
welcome to BWL Author's Blog.

TB – “Ty, please.  Mr. Bishop was my father.  And thanks for the welcome,
 but I’m here under duress.”

INT  - “Really.”

TB –“I have things waiting to be done.  Cows need to be moved to another pasture,
fences need mendin’ and the longer I dawdle, the more I stand to lose favor with 
my boss, Ben.”

Int – “Ben?  Would that be Ben Fountain, father of the heroine, Ellie Fountain?”

TB – “Yep, that’d be right.  There’s another reason I need to get movin’…Ellie.  
For some reason, that little filly is out to get me.  Seems every time I chew the fat with her pa,
she gets her nose out of joint. I never met someone so… so…what’s the word I’m looking for. 
You know, someone who wants to prove they can do everything better than the next feller?”

INT – “Oh, you mean competitive.”

TB – “That’s her in a nutshell.  Just wait till you read the story.  She even went out, 
bought a gun and learned to shoot.  She’s says it’s because of the polecats next door, 
threatening to trespass on Ben’s and, but I say different.”

INT – “Really?  Why do you think she bought the gun?”

TB – “To try to show me up.  She already thinks she can ride and rope as good as any man, 
and lord knows, she could stand to dress up a bit.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell there’s a girl under
 that big ol’ hat and the layer of dust.”

INT – “Does she always dress in men’s clothing?”

TB – “Well she did until I invited her to a dance.  Ben sort of pushed me into it, 
but down deep I wanted to go with her.  She looked mighty pretty, all fancied up, but instead
 of the evening turnin’ out like I planned, she went and got herself in trouble again.  
She should have listened to me about those pesky Bryant boys.”

INT – “What kind of trouble did she get into?”

TB – “I may be greener than most folks you know, but I ain’t about to divulge Ginger’s
 whole story.  Ellie is a real tomboy, and she stays madder than a wet hen at me most times,
 but I’ll just say, I think she finally realizes there are just times a woman can’t match a man’s strength.”

INT – “Well it sounds like I’ll have to buy my own copy if I want to see how this turns out.”

TB – “You’re right welcome to visit Amazon.com.  That’s where Ellie and my story is being sold. 
I’m not real savvy when it comes to the Internet, but I wrote this down.  *fishes in pocket*.  Let’s see, http://www.amazon.com/author/gingersimpson.   Ain’t got no idea how you get there, but Ginger said to
 hare the name with ya’ll.  I thank you for the time, but I best get going.  
I fear Ellie's Legacy is going to change my life.

INT – “Thank you, Ty, and please visit us again.”

Friday, February 28, 2014

Choices

This must be my inspirational week. :)

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for
 a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is:
 Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with 
learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered
 a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. 
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered
 a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does,
is done
 with perfection.yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. 
He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things
 in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and 
physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature
 presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. 
Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not
 want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I understood that if my son
 were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some
 confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. 
The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is
 in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in
 the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. 
I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.. The boys saw my
 joy at my son being accepted.In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored
 a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. 
Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game
and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs
 and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was 
scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their
chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible
because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with
the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team
was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob
the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few
 steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.As the pitch came in, Shay swung at
 the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to
the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of
the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, 
out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! 
Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.He scampered 
down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, 
run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, 
gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. 
The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. 
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood
the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the
third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases
toward home. All were screaming,'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay.'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning
him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their
feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the
grand slam and won the game for his team. 'That day', said the father softly with tears
now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love
and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten
being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his mother
tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

NOTE FROM Ginger: As an author, I respect this piece as a good work of fiction. 
I would love nothing more than to believe this wonderful act of kindness and grace actually
 happened, but I live in the real world and children learn from their parents, and parents 
bicker over everything from parking places to shopping carts. I've been out shopping, 
at a time of the year when "Peace on Earth and Goodwill Towards Men" is supposed to
 have special meaning, but it doesn't. Christmas seems to bring out the worst in us...
something we need to work on. But, I'm posting this today,partly because of what follows,
but with the hope this post might inspire us all to think twice and "pay it forward" 
by setting a better example for our children and grandkids.

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought,
 but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public
 discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about sharing this message, chances are that you're probably trying
to figure out the'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who
 shared this with you this believes we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order 
of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass aloqng a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities
and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst
them.

You now have two choices:

1. Forget you read this.

2. Share the url with your friends.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

THE CRABBY OLD MAN - Sharing a Poem

www.centrifugeleadership.com
I was really touched by this poem and felt
the need to share.  I've been thinking a lot about
 my own age recently, and having a hard time
believing I just turned 68.  In my mind, I'm not
anywhere close, but my body is saying otherwise.

This poem reminded me so much of my
grandfather who passed years ago from
Alzheimers...alone, in a rest home.
His family can only pray now that he realized in
his diminished capacity how much we truly
loved him, that we visited and mourned his
passing.

The Crabby Old Man

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa,
Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They
found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that
copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to
posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine
of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has
also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.


What do you see nurses? ....What do you see?
What are you thinking......when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man,.....not very wise,
Uncertain of habit ........with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food.......and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice ....."I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice ....the things that you do.
And forever is losing .............. A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ..... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?.......Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am .......... As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding,.......as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten.......with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ........who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen ....with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now..........a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ........my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows........that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now .......... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ....And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty .......... My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ....... With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons ...have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me.......to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, ......... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ....... My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me ...... My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ............I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing......young of their own.
And I think of the years...... And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man........and nature is cruel.
'Tis jest to make old age ........look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles..........grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone........where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass ..... A young guy still dwells,
And now and again .......my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys.............. I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living.............life over again.

I think of the years ..all too few......gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact........that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .........open and see..
Not a crabby old man.....Look closer....see........ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush
aside without looking at the young soul within.....we will all, one day,
be there, too!

The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched.
They must be felt by the heart.

I'm trying hard to see the person behind the mask that nature slapped on me. *smile* 

Monday, February 24, 2014

ARE YOU A BUCKET FILLER OR A DIPPER?


 Author Unknown, Source Unknown - posted by Ginger

 This is something I found on the internet that I found extremely touching, and oh so true. You have heard of the cup that overflowed. This is a story of a bucket that is like the cup, only larger, it is an invisible bucket. Everyone has one. It determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we get along with people. Have you ever experienced a series of very favorable things which made you want to be good to people for a week? At that time, your bucket was full.

 A bucket can be filled by a lot of things that happen. When a person speaks to you, recognizing you as a human being, your bucket is filled a little. Even more if he calls you by name, especially if it is the name you like to be called. If he compliments you on your dress or on a job well done, the level in your bucket goes up still higher. There must be a million ways to raise the level in another's bucket. Writing a friendly letter, remembering something that is special to him, knowing the names of his children, expressing sympathy for his loss, giving him a hand when his work is heavy, taking time for conversation, or, perhaps more important, listing to him. When one's bucket is full of this emotional support, one can express warmth and friendliness to people. But, remember, this is a theory about a bucket and a dipper.

 Other people have dippers and they can get their dippers in your bucket. This, too, can be done in a million ways. Lets say I am at a dinner and inadvertently upset a glass of thick, sticky chocolate milk that spills over the table cloth, on a lady's skirt, down onto the carpet. I am embarrassed. "Bright Eyes" across the table says, "You upset that glass of chocolate milk." I made a mistake, I know I did, and then he told me about it! He got his dipper in my bucket!

 Think of the times a person makes a mistake, feels terrible about it, only to have someone tell him about the known mistake ("Red pencil" mentality!) Buckets are filled and buckets are emptied ? emptied many times because people don't really think about what are doing. When a person's bucket is emptied, he is very different than when it is full. You say to a person whose bucket is empty, "That is a pretty tie you have," and he may reply in a very irritated, defensive manner. Although there is a limit to such an analogy, there are people who seem to have holes in their buckets.

When a person has a hole in his bucket, he irritates lots of people by trying to get his dipper in their buckets. This is when he really needs somebody to pour it in his bucket because he keeps losing. The story of our lives is the interplay of the bucket and the dipper. Everyone has both. The unyielding secret of the bucket and the dipper is that when you fill another's bucket it does not take anything out of your own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another's, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another's bucket we do not fill our own ... we lose a little. For a variety of reasons, people hesitate filling the bucket of another and consequently do not experience the fun, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction connected with making another person happy. Some reasons for this hesitancy are that people think it sounds "fakey," or the other person will be suspicious of the motive, or it is "brown-nosing." Therefore, let us put aside our dipper and resolve to touch someone's life in order to fill their bucket.

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