Happy Un-Anniversary by Ginger Simpson

Del walked into a haze-filled house. His wife, Annie, stood in the middle of the room, fanning the air with her apron while the smoke detector blared an earsplitting tune. He snatched the contraption from the ceiling and ripped out the batteries.

“Cooking again, are you,” Del asked, trying to hide a blossoming smile. He tossed his cell phone and car keys on the counter and hung up his jacket. This wasn’t the first time she burned his dinner. At the rate Annie set off the detector, they should own stock in that company with the nonstop bunny rabbit ad. Luckily, there was more than one route to his heart, and it certainly wasn’t through his stomach as the saying went.

Annie dipped her chin to her chest. “I so wanted this new recipe to work.”

He crossed the room, rested an arm around her shoulders and gave her squeeze. “It’s okay sweetheart. I’m sure whatever it was would have been delicious.”

Rather than be cheered by his words, she hid her face with her palms and sobbed.  "I'm a disaster in the kitchen.” Her muffled words came out between hiccups.

He pulled her closer. “Now, now, everyone has different talents. I wish I could sing like Pavarotti, but I sound more like Gomer Pyle. You just don’t happen to be Julia Childs.”

She peered up through eyes brimming with tears. “But I wanted to surprise you with a romantic dinner.”

 

"I know....I know." He pulled her into a one-armed cuddle.

 

A determined look spread across her face and, she turned back to the counter. “I’m going to try again, this time I’ll pay closer attention to the directions.”

His gaze wandered to the dining room and a table set with fine china, candles, and wine glasses. Dear God! His breath stopped short of a gasp. He’d forgotten an important date. There was only one thing to do to save face and stop her from poisoning them both.

He crossed the room and removed the knife from her hand. Cupping her chin, he gazed lovingly into her eyes. “You can test your recipe another time or you’ll spoil my surprise. Go get cleaned up. I’m taking you out for a special dinner and, if we’re lucky, a night of dancing.”

Annie’s eyes widened. “Really?” Her brows rose in an inquisitive arch, but straightened when she smiled. “Oh, sweetheart, you shouldn’t have gone to all that trouble.” She stood on tiptoes, gave him a peck on the cheek, then hurried upstairs.

Del waited until she was out of sight, then digging frantically through the desk, found the phonebook and scanned the yellow pages for restaurant phone numbers. On a week night, surely he could make a last minute reservation and still be his wife’s hero. What would one more little white lie hurt when he’d already told so many about her dismal cooking skills?

Success…he hung up the phone. Reservation made and even flowers ordered. He’d pulled his plan off without a hitch and felt pretty proud of himself…until the sound of someone clearing their throat caught his attention. He swallowed hard, turned, and saw Annie at the bottom of the stairs.

She stood with folded arms. “So, you planned to surprise me with dinner and dancing, huh?”

“Well, you see…I-I… Okay, okay, you caught me.” His shoulders slumped. “I forgot our anniversary.”

Annie’s somber look mellowed. She collapsed into laughter.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“It isn’t our anniversary, silly.” She walked closer. “I wondered what you meant earlier, but I decided to see where this was going. What gave you the idea this was the day we got married?”

“Well, you said it was a special night, a-and I just assumed…”

“Oh that.” She waved a limp wrist at him. “I didn’t mean special for you and me, silly. The special is on Lifetime Television…it’s all romance night again. I thought if I fixed a special recipe for an early dinner, we could cuddle up and watch some movies together. You know… before we go up to bed.” She lowered one eyelid in a sensuous wink.

He cracked his knuckles and flashed a sheepish smile. “Well, in that case, I think I’ll cancel dinner out and order in.”

Del had a plan, too. A little pizza, a romantic movie, and when they went upstairs, he’d end up getting a gift he hadn’t counted on…especially on a Wednesday night. Lifetime movies acted like an aphrodisiac on Annie, and, for sure, tomorrow he’d be sending the cable company a special thank-you note.

Video Trailers versus Excerpts – by Ginger Simpson

Some people love video trailers, others prefer to read excerpts. Personally, I love ‘watching’ an excerpt over reading it. With so many new authors coming on board and new promotion groups springing up every day, I feel like my words get lost in a sea of others. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve become frustrated over scrolling through a digest that is nothing but excerpt after excerpt with little or no explanation about the story—no scene setting, no dialogue. Why would I want to buy that book, I ask myself. The author clearly didn’t care enough to stick around and discuss her/his work. Probably off doing more ‘drive-by-posting.’

*Hanging head*. I’ve been guilty of it myself by trying to cover as many loops as possible on the days they offer open promotion. But, I now realize I was doing myself a disservice by using this tactic. I’m looking for a way to initiate discussions with readers about what they truly appreciate and/or hate in a book. The secret is finding a way to ‘delurk’ them. *smile*

In the meantime, I really enjoy the technology that allows me to bring my work to life in a one-two minute video. I’m a fan of short rather than longer because sometimes too much information becomes boring or overwhelming. I’ve done several trailers now, and I think I’ve finally hit upon giving just enough information to whet someone’s appetite and make them want more. At least, that’s my hope.

The cost of having a professional video done is prohibitive in most cases which is the main reason I learned to use the Windows Movie Maker program on my computer. It’s time consuming, but for me, fun because it gets my creative juices flowing. The hardest part is perusing royalty-free sites, looking for inexpensive pictures and music. You must be very careful about what you use, making sure you’ve purchased the appropriate license to display the photo or sound. People get really picky when you use their stuff without permission. As authors, we should all understand this. We don’t like anyone selling our books without permission.  I recently discovered Animto.com and pay for a very small free and they do all the hard word...mixing, coordinating the transitions...things that continually made my Movie Maker freeze up.  I really, love Animoto. 

Not all my friends are computer literate or have the time to devote to making their own trailers, so I’ve had the privilege of creating one or more for them. My options are limited to the program I use and can’t compare with the big gun companies, but given what I have to work with, I’m proud of my accomplishments. Here’s a look at  one I did for a recent release,

You can find all my videos at http://www.youtube.com/mizging and all my books on my Amazon author's page.

Please visit my blog at http://mizging.blogspot and say hello. Right now I’ve been on a political rampage, but I’m taking prozac and drinking vodka to cure it and not vent on Dishin' It Out. *big grin*

Ginger Asks...Do Love Scenes Come Naturally for You?

This article appeared on Dishin' It Out in 2008 and I reran it a few years later because of an increased audience.  I still chuckle when I read it, so I decided to share it here.   Okay, so I'm an attention whore! :)

A while back I queried HQ on a short, historical story that is supposed to be 'spicy.' I thought I WAS writing spicy by using a few 'buzz' words here and there, and it made me sweat, trying to come up with something creative. BUT...I shared my story with my friend who I consider the Queen of Steam, and although she loved the story, she said it wouldn't fly. I know why!

It's hard to be inventive. I realize that there is a lot of ME in each of my stories, and I don't feel the least bit sexy...for reasons described in previous blogs. If I truly wrote what my mind sees when I think about sex scenes,I highly doubtful anyone would be swept away to anything but hysteria. Here's an example.

Moonlight filtered through the venetian blinds and highlighted him as he disrobed. He pulled his shirt over his head, then shimmied out of his pants. Her breath hitched. When had his stomach gotten so huge? *rofl*

 OR

His breath warmed her neck as his lips trailed upward. He nibbled at her earlobe then raised up and gazed upon her face. His mouth, a few inches from hers, he licked his lips and drew closer.

She recoiled and rolled away. "Geez, I told you not to have onions on that burger. You reek."

OR

He entered her with a quick thrust. She gasped, feeling a sensation all too familiar. "God, get off me. Quick! I have a Charlie Horse!"

 OR...last but not least....

Tonight was the night he'd waited for. They hadn't made love for a month and he was determined to sample her wares. Maybe more romance was needed. He hadn't been all that passionate or attentive of late. The moment was right. Everyone else was gone, nothing but the flickering TV lit the room. He slithered off the couch and crawled toward her chair. She appeared deep in thought,lost in the movie she watched. He inched closer and reaching her side, took her hand.

She jumped, then smiled. "What are you doing down there?"

"Come on." He raised to one knee. "Come to bed with me. I want to show you how much I love you."

She unfurled one leg from beneath her and nibbled her bottom lip. Tears glistened in her eyes. She offered her hand.

He took it and attempted to stand. A popping noise sliced the momentary silence between commercials. "Ow...my back!" He managed to get to his feet, but remained bent at the waist. With pain etched on his face, he hobbled to the couch and collapsed.

"I guess we'll have to wait."

She blotted her tears. "That's okay. My leg's asleep and I can't get up anyhow."

I think I'll stick to what I know I can do and leave the erotic and steamy writing to those who can handle it without laughing. I obviously can't.