Brevity

Elmore Leonard sat across the table from me, looking exactly like his dust jacket photo. Owlish glasses.  Scraggly goatee.  Tweedy sports jacket over a plaid shirt.  He was in Vancouver promoting When The Women Come Out To Dance, a collection of short stories and two novellas, and agreed to come on my CBC Radio show Saturday.   

Leonard is a master of the short story.  The TV series Justified is based on his short story Fire In The Hole.  He’s written several dozen crime novels (Get Shorty was made into a movie starring John Travolta and Gene Hackman), a dozen or more westerns (3:10 To Yuma was made into a movie in 1957 and again in 2007) and even an international thriller or two. He writes crackling dialogue like no one else and uses it to move the scene along and keep the reader turning the pages, which is why his work is so adaptable for movies and TV.  So I asked him if he had any advice to writers about how to perk up their prose.  He didn’t, but his own mantra was simplicity itself.

“I just leave out the stuff people don’t read,” he told me.   

I spent more than thirty years editing stories for radio, taking out the aural equivalent of the stuff that people don’t read.  My inner editor is always present when I write, decluttering and removing the unnecessary.  I’ve tried to take Elmore Leonard’s mantra to heart in my novel Astraphobia, part of BWL’s Paranormal Canadiana Collection.  The story follows three generations of the McKenzie family as death by lightning stalks them from Scotland to Ottawa to Moose Jaw.  Astraphobia will be published in June 2025 by BWL.       

EPUB – 978022863396        BWL Print 9780228635215    

BEAR TALES

Metamorphe--under construction.

Every First Nation has bear legends and probably a majority have a Bear Clan too. Little wonder, as Bears were once common in the woodlands of North America. More than that, to the first people who walked onto and then across this continent carrying only spears and slings, the bear would have been a formidable animas. 

Of course, these first people were accustomed to dealing with megafauna, because this was the time of giant sloths, saber-toothed cats and mammoths, but I have a feeling that the bears were pretty darn big too. In Europe, humans probably were a major contributor to the demise of the enormous Cave Bears, in what must have been perceived like gangs of cruel, merciless home invaders to the original ursine owners.

After the time of Pleistocene giants had passed, (probably because of the invasion of humans, with their weapons and organized methods of attack) the last remaining predators of any size were the bears that we have in North America today, the Brown Bear and the Black Bear. Today's Black Bear is the junior American member, weighing in between 200 and 600 pounds and standing upright from 5'-6' feet tall, while the Brown Bear, or Grizzly, can stand as tall as eight feet and weigh between 400 and a 1000 pounds. 

They are temperamentally different too. Black Bears are omnivores, and perhaps because of this, less aggressive. They are likely to be as interested in getting away from you as you are in getting away from them. Grizzly Bears are another matter. They are carnivores, more territorial and more likely to see you as lunch. Any bear, however, will become dangerous if you mess with it's cubs, so if you spot a baby, you make a slow retreat. There is a saying regarding human/bear confrontations: "If it's Black, fight back; if it's Brown, lie down; if it's White, say good-night." 

Ancient people, the world over, had great respect for bears. Observing them and their behavior, they saw bears as kin of a sort, perhaps from the fact that they could stand on their hind legs. A bear will keep fighting even if wounded, dangerous until the end. This was a kind of bravery humans recognized. 

Bears seemed to be able to heal their wounds too, and so it was believed that bears had the power to bestow healing and resilience. If you were in fight, a bear fighting in your corner would demonstrably be a good thing, so they were also invoked as protectors, for their courage was well known. They had admirable qualities such as fiercely protecting their young, and they could be seen to teach and nurture their cubs. Little wonder people would want to emulate them. 

Among the Huron/Wendake, bears were revered. They possessed good medicine. The bear commanded authority; they were self-healers, courageous, and immensely strong, and so, ideally, were members of Bear Clan. Warriors carried bear claws in their medicine pouches for strength, courage and protection. 

I would be remiss not to mention the famous Ponca Chief, Standing Bear, a brave and honorable man who won a civil rights case against the United States in 1879, after his people had their reservation taken from them. Although they at first complied, moving to the unsuitable and inhospitable land they had been allocated, the government didn't bother to follow through on the other promises that had been made, that there would be adequate supplies to help them get through their first winter, or that a mill would be built.

Standing Bear lost a son and a daughter that first starvation winter. In desperation, he and 30 others attempted to return to their ancient home along the Niobrara River. They were imprisoned at a fort, but when a journalist heard their story of how they had been treated, he published it and attracted the attention of lawyers who ended by arguing the case of the Ponca in U.S. District Court in 1879 in Omaha. 

When Chief Ponca spoke, he said that although his hand was a different color from that of the judge, his blood was red, just like that any other American. He insisted that he was "a person and a citizen" with rights. In the end, the Judge, Elmer Dundy, agreed that Native Americans were "persons within the meaning of the law, have the right of habeas corpus," thereby becoming "the first Native Americans judicially granted civil rights under American law."

 

This remains a landmark civil rights case. I noticed that in several popular t.v. series, the most honorable and courageous 1st Nation's character are given the name: "Standing Bear."

John Wisdomkeeper and his Guardian

~~Juliet Waldron

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Sensory Details: The Magical Key to a Vivid and Emotional Reading Experience By Connie Vines

Sensory Details: The Magical Key to a Vivid and Emotional Reading Experience 

Come for the fun...Stay for the romance.

A gentle breeze blew my hair across my cheek (TOUCH) as I walked along the uneven trail (TOUCH). Leaves rustled (SOUND) above me, and a lone crow gave several loud caws (SOUND) overhead. I took a deep breath. The smell of decay and leaves (SMELL) made me wary, and the coppery taste of fear coated my throat. I scanned my surroundings to ensure I wasn't being followed (SIGHT).

Connie's personal photo

Canva created collage

Every writer knows that The Five Senses also sets the story's mood/tone/genre.

While my first example lets the reader know this story isn't a straightforward romance. 

The reader will expect a murder mystery/suspense/or even a Gothic novel.

The second photo, a collage, evokes a romantic or light-hearted story with a holiday vibe. 

Therefore, during a first draft, the focus is on the story's setting, time, and tone, which are vital. Dialogue and characterization are also essential.

 I have discovered (in my reading and professional writing) that not including a wide range of sensory details is, in fact, cheating your reader.

Cheating? I would never cheat my readers!

🌹 Sensory details draw your reader into the story, trigger emotional responses, and, most importantly, make them feel a part of your story world. 

Since I'm an introvert and tactile, adding these details/emotional reactions is natural to me. In contrast, a more analytical person's writing might focus on the visual and take a more detective approach to/reaction to the sensory clues. 

Now, one step further: How your character processes his/her sensory details enriches the story. (Obviously, a hard-boiled detective's vocabulary would be different from that of a giddy teenager.)

🎥📺Examples from Television and Movies:

This is for fans of Star Trek (original series: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and Forest Kelly) and the Cinema movies that followed (Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban). 

Mr. Spock was my favorite character. Though I observe, analyze, and retain facts and can relate details decades later, I am not, and will never be, "Mr. Spock."

Captain Kirk was a physical, in-your-face kind of guy. He yelled, punched, and bled. First, on the scene or to make a scene, the man didn't seem to ever sleep. 

Then there was "Bones," Doctor Leonard McCoy. He grumbles and points out injustice, holds his ground for what is right, and saves his patient's life. He has empathy, compassion, and wit. 

So, the first key to successful sensory details in a story is to know your character. How does your character look at the world? What lens does your character use?

Does this sensory detail become vital to the story, or define your main character? Or the clue to solving a murder/mystery?

Excerpts from Gumbo Ya Ya (an anthology)

4 stories and one book!

A Slice of Scandal

She ignored his question and continued with her narrative. "Instead, the scenes are shot according to where they are set. The cooking, naturally, will be here on the sound stage. But Harvey wants some location work, too."

Sebastian felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Location work?" How would he investigate a murder and a smuggling ring if he wandered over to some tourist site? He flipped through the script. "My contract doesn't say anything about location work."

Julia glanced over her script, making eye contact. "You're joking, right?"

Think fast, Beaux, just stall her. "I'm not ready."

"You're not ready?" she asked, her voice heavy with disbelief. You've lived in a swamp, caught and eaten alligators, frogs, snakes, and fish... and you don't want to appear at a local shopping mall?"

"I'm not ready; you told me that. I still get nervous...in large crowds."

The look she shot in his direction clearly labeled him a liar, but she kept silent... 

Love Potion No. 9

"Don't shake your finger at me, Simone Basso. I know what I'm doing." Persia Richmond said, holding a pipette to fill a crystal half-ounce atomizer with perfume. The top notes of peach blossoms, bergamot, and mid-notes of gardenia, honey, and tuberose tanalized. The tuberose, being the most carnal of the floral notes and high-ticket natural essence for her fragrance compound, merged with peony and orange blossom to temper the intoxication properties. The base notes lingered while a hint of something unnamed and mysterious beguiled and skimmed across the narrow processing room, saturating her senses.

The fragrance was New Orleans, culture at its most upscale moments, and Mardi Gras at its naughtiest.

The imported essence oils of the tuberose had nearly emptied her bank account, leaving Persia only one egret. Her Grandpapa hadn't lived to experience her mastery of perfumery.

Holding up the bottle, she allowed the light to shine through the tempered vial for a moment before she ensured the stopper was tight. 

Simone leaned over Persia's shoulder, "I done warned and warned you about messing with love potions."

The statement sent Persia's heart thundering in her chest. Snagging a steadying breath, she regained her composure. "You worry too much, Simone. This is a perfume. Nothing more, nothing less."

Now, back to me 😉

And the scent of my favorite fragrance?

A creamy, sweet-fruity fragrance starts with dahlia, then fades into pear.

Notes: Velvet, Dahila Petals, Crisp Pear, Praline Musk, and whipped Tonka Bean. 

I hope you've enjoyed this month's post :)

Happy Reading!

Connie

Books are available via online book sellers:

https://bwlpublishing.ca/vines-connie/

https://www.amazon.com/Connie-Vines/e/B004C7W6PE

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/brede-connie-vines/1115934010

https://books.apple.com/us/author/connie-vines/id624802082

and more!

Where's Connie?

https://www.facebook.com/ConnieVinesAuthor/

https://www.instagram.com/connievines_author/?hl=en

and now on:

 https://substack.com/@connievines

AI – Where is the intelligence? – by Vijaya Schartz

 

This award-winning novel deals with an AI character.
Find it on my author page on
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I recently noticed a slew of posts in my Facebook feed that are obviously AI-generated. Although I am not opposed to giving life to old portraits of historical figures, I draw the line at computer generated images of the Sphynx and other famous archeological treasures, that are inaccurate at best, if not completely made up and wrong. Other times, the picture has no connection whatsoever with the title, the text, or the information in the post. Why not use a real photograph relevant to the post?

As for the monotonous AI voice, completely devoid of emotion, I have come to hate it. How can anyone relate to information delivered in such a boring manner? I remember the passion in the voice of my teachers when I was in school. They were the ones who communicated to me their love for literature, history, science. All because they cared, and it showed in their voice, their body language, and on their faces. I could feel the energy coming from them and touching me deeply. They made me want to learn more.

AI-generated royalty-free image

Nowadays, we are witnessing the takeover of the machines. Not only the voice is devoid of emotion, but it also misreads the words because it doesn’t understand the meaning of the sentence, only the structure. It pauses in the wrong places, sometimes expressing the opposite of the intended meaning. In a recent post, the Egyptian goddess Sekhmet became a “segment” in the narrative. Worse, AI is also turning the voice into text for subtitles, and the subtitles also said “segment.”

And I don't need an AI detector to spot AI generated comments. Probably an attempt to start a debate, they are all similar in structure. Coming from different accounts, they start with an introduction, three bullet points, and a conclusion, as if directly copied from an online textbook. Who on Facebook comments like that? Who is AI trying to fool?

Now that AI will become the center of learning for many students, I shudder at the idea that future generations of intellectuals, philosophers, scientists, writers, explorers, and rulers will be groomed by non-emotional entities in the cold, detached style of what we call AI.

Royalty-free AI generated image

Isn’t intelligence supposed to be self-aware, with the ability to comprehend and relate emotionally? To me this new invasion is not AI, but dumb computers relying on search engines and limited logic. As we used to say in my days, “Erring is human, but to really mess things up, it takes a computer.”

So, here we are. We didn’t react when autocorrect changed the meaning of our texts, laughing because it was “cute.” And now we are letting the same computers take over control of our lives, influencing our ideas, thwarting our knowledge, trying to replace free thinking and real intelligence.

As a science-fiction author, I am appalled. There is no AI intervention whatsoever in my novels. They are pure passion, pure imagination and human intelligence, and I hope you’ll enjoy them.

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Vijaya Schartz, award-winning author

Strong Heroines, Brave Heroes, cats

https://www.vijayaschartz.com

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Paying Dues by Bruce McKern

McKern, Kevin and Bruce - BWL Publishing Inc.

Like most things, the term 'paying dues' has certain connotations, dependent on one's life experiences.  To some, it means a chunk of their paycheck goes to an organization that, ideally, would advocate for them in case of a labor dispute.  For others, it's the price of admission to place that offers brotherhood and cheap booze.  But to a lunk-headed, free-lance small market musician, it has very little to do with money.  It's all the experiences, from the goofy to the sublime, that made me the musician I ultimately became.

It could be said that education and dues are separate entities, but not by me. I started guitar lessons at age seven. Every Saturday morning Dad would take me and my brother to the music store. Our teacher was an old-school musician's musician. He had emigrated from Germany, had an amazing accent, and was proficient in just about every instrument imaginable. He gave us a theoretical as well as technical background in music.

We also got some practical experience when he had me and my brother play some real-life gigs with him.  It was so cool to be out past my bedtime, playing music for people, and actually getting some money for it.  I also got the chance to see how a pro handles different situations whilst keeping the music flowing.

For most of my school days, I was in orchestra and band.  And my last three years of high school, Kevin and I played in the pit for the spring musical.  My sophomore year, it was a last minute, emergency situation with very little rehearsal.  It was just me, Kevin, and the music-director/pianist.  We all worked from condensed scores, so it was great fun making up our own parts (and for a string bass player, I got pretty adept at reading ledger lines!).  But the biggest take away was learning the fine art of accompanying.  With singers and actors, but especially with teenagers trying to be both at the same time, it's a balancing act of being firm, supportive, and above all, flexible.  It's a skill-set that served me well not only doing musical theatre, but with just about every kind of gig.  Most of the time, music is conversational in nature, and listening is key to good conversation.

Probably my very first gig was at a tavern with my cousin and my brother.  I think my age was in the single digits, I played the tambourine, and I requested my pay be in the form of a stack of dollar bills.  Starting in my tweens and running right up to present day, I've been in various iterations of rock bands with my brother.  We did the club scene pretty heavy while I was still in high school.  This was in the days of five sets a night.  Usually, the places were deserted for the first and last sets, so it was challenging to keep the energy up and put on a show.  We had a lot of fun, but it was also when the bars were full of cigarette smoke.  Hair, clothes, and gear were absolutely toxic by the end of the night.

During my college years, while playing in the symphony and rock bands, we were also doing the odd society gig.  Usually at the country club, it was an exercise in humility and definitely a character builder.  In my late twenties, I played in a little-big band (swing-era music scored down for an octet).  This was a particularly interesting sociological experience due to the fact that the other members of the group were retirees from all different walks of life.  They were also mostly from the greatest generation, so they had first-hand knowledge of swing when it was new and popular.  Also, that band had a dedicated arranger who would create absolutely stunning, original charts that were equally challenging and accessible.  

On most of the casual dates I played, I was the baby on the bandstand.  It was a very informal type of apprenticeship that I greatly appreciate.  I'm not sure young people now have the same opportunities.  I hope they do, and I hope they have as much fun as I did!