Do you have time for the 11-3-6 rule? ... by Sheila Claydon

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Friendship can be tricky. There are the friends you can say (almost) anything to, the friends whose beliefs and thoughts you have to dance around if you don't share them, and the friends who like to talk rather than listen. Then there are the friends who disappear for weeks at a time only to reappear when they are suddenly upended by something life has thrown at them. And of course the dear friends who are always there for you. I've got them all and I wouldn't be without a single one. I find people endlessly fascinating (a writer's tic I guess) which means I like my friends, warts and all. And I try very hard not to wonder what sort of friend I am. A different type of friend to different people probably. 

Recently I read a piece about making friends. Apparently there is a rule about it! It's called the 11-3-6 rule. It suggests that it takes 11 encounters, each lasting at least 3 hours over a six month period, for an acquaintance to become a genuine friend. I'm sure there is detailed psychological research behind this and maybe it is a good idea for youngsters learning to negotiate life's pitfalls, but at my age, no! I don't have the time to worry whether a friendship is genuine or whether it will last. If I like someone and the feeling is mutual then I'm prepared to take a chance on us becoming friends long before I've spent that long with them.

Some of my best friendships were unexpected. There are the neighbours who, many years ago, started a snowball fight over the stand of fir trees that divided our gardens. We couldn't see one another. We hadn't met.  40 years later, we have holidayed together, attended each others' children's weddings, and despite now living many miles apart, still communicate weekly and visit regularly. Why? Because we liked them from the off and had a shared sense of humour. It was an immediate friendship if there is such a thing.

Then there is the friend I made at dog training when our puppies bonded over biscuits! And the lifelong friendship that developed at an antenatal class. Then there are the friends of friends who have become our friends too.

Over the years our friendship circle has included work colleagues, school gate parents, people who shared our sporting interests, neighbours, people we met while walking our various dogs. We have lost good friends to the grim reaper too, something that happens only too often as we age, which is another reason to nourish our friendships while we still have them.   

While we have friends across a wide age range (a semi-deliberate ploy on our part as it makes life so much more interesting) our latest new friend is 93 years old. We met when I had to do some research for our local museum and asked if she was prepared to answer a few questions. It only took one visit for us to know we liked one another, and a second visit to realise we were probably going to become real friends. 

At 93 years old and very pragmatic, she didn't have time for the 11-3-6 rule. Instead she bought me an Easter Egg, gave me a flower cutting, and sent me a birthday card, while I took her bunches of daffodils, always made sure I had biscuits in my pocket for her dog, and, after 4 visits, took her out for lunch. Not an easy option as she is very disabled, but my goodness did we enjoy ourselves. We talked about so many things from religion to riding horses, politics to wildlife, cars to nutrition. We each learned things from one another because she is not only interesting, she is interested. 

She is my new heroine. The person I want to be at 93 if I'm lucky enough to live that long with all my faculties intact. And it didn't take the 11-3-6 rule for me to decide that.

Friendship features in my latest book, One Wish, although in the manner or all romances, a lot of things get in the way before true love wins out in the end:)

 

What Love Made Us Do by Bonny Beswick

 

                                                                   

                               www.bonnybeswick.com

                                  🔫 🔫 🔫 🔫 🔫 🔫 🔫 🔫 🔫 🔫

 

It feels like forever, but it’s only been a year since “The Aquamarine Necklace” hit the bookshelves. And now, it’s sequel is poised to launch.

Here’s a sneak peak at the cover for the second in the Janice Maidstone Mystery series! “What Love Made Us Do”. It will be available next month through independent bookstores, Indigo, Barnes and Noble, Amazon and more. Check out my website www.bonnybeswick.com , and the BWL website. Shop | Discover More – Shop Now — Books We Love Publishing Inc.

 

I LOVE my cover. Thank you to Michelle, the BWL Art Director, for reading my mind and getting it perfect.

In anticipation of publication, I’m including an excerpt from “What Love Made Us Do”.

Some background: This is a police procedural murder mystery. It takes place in Calgary, Alberta.

Michael Orthando has been murdered on the front step of his townhouse in Greenwich, a new neighbourhood on the west side of the city. While tracking down leads, homicide detective Janice Maidstone and her partner, Scott Amble, have encountered an unsavoury character, Tranh, who’s of major interest to the Vice Squad.

Janice has gone to join up with the Vice unit when they conduct a surprise raid on Tranh. Things go all kinds of wrong, and Janice ends up going through a terrifying incident. In this excerpt, she’s been rescued and is finally home and resting. Her partner, dependable Scott Amble, is checking in on her.

 

I’m napping on the couch, both dogs curled up on the floor beside me, when the doorbell rings. My abs and ribs won’t let me just sit up, so rolling off the couch onto my hands and knees seems to be the solution to get into an upright position. I hold onto the arm of the couch until the room stops spinning.

The dogs knew it was Scott before I open the door. They sit quietly behind me, but their tails tell me they’re excited to see their best human friend.

The sun hits me in the face, and it hurts. Much, much too bright, so I turn and hunch away back to the couch, letting Scott follow me into the house, darkened by drawn blinds.

“Feeling any better today?”

“Yah. Planning on a jog this afternoon.”

He squints. “Seriously, Janice?”

“Okay. I thought I was feeling better when I woke up this morning. Not so sure at the moment, though. My ribs need more ice.”

“I’ll get you some, then take the dogs out.”

“Thanks, I feel guilty just turning them out in the backyard.”

“Don’t worry about it. I want to go for a run anyway, and I might as well take them with me.” He heads to the closet where I keep their leashes and poop bags.

“You’re a lifesaver.” I realize that he really did save my life this week, and tears prick my eyes. I hope he doesn’t notice.

“All part of the partner-service,” he teases. First Treacle, then Turkey stand patiently to get clipped into their leads, then the three of them head out the door. “See you in an hour,” Scott calls when he’s halfway down the sidewalk.

* * *

I wake up when the door opens. My ears track what’s going on. Dog toenails clicking on the hardwood floor, the jingle of collar tags, and heavy panting show progress through the front entry to the kitchen. The cupboard door above the sink creaks open, closes, then running water tells me that Scott’s glass and dog bowls are being filled.

Silence suggests Scott’s checking to see if I’m awake, to decide if he’s going to tiptoe out of the house, or if he’s going to come in for a chat.

“I’m awake,” I say, wincing when I attempt a graceful roll to sit up.

“Pretty sore?”

“Yep. I’m supposed to stay away from ibuprofen because of my lacerated kidney, and Tylenol isn’t good for my liver, which is also pretty unhappy. So I’m trying to do without anything.”

“Can I get you some more ice?”

“Thanks. There’s an ice pack in the freezer that should be ready to come out.”

Scott disappears then comes back with a blue freezy pack.

I wrap it around my ribs and back. “Thanks. Now, what’s going on with Orthando?”

“You’re not supposed to be thinking about work.”

I snort. “So I’m just supposed to lie here and think of pastoral scenes of bunnies and butterflies?”

“Yep.”

“Come on, Scott. It can’t hurt for me to sit here and listen. I’ll pretend you’re telling me a story.”

“Ok, but only since you insist. Now, since you got a bonk on your head, what do you remember?”

I summarize what I think I know.

He purses his lips. “Huh, good for you. You’ve still got most of it.”

He settles into the occasional chair across from the couch. The dogs come in and, after poking their muzzles, still dripping water, into my face to check in, pad to their beds where they flop down. With their heads on their paws, their eyes track between us while he brings me up to date.

 

I am coordinating a series of book signings that will take place later this summer. Keep your eye on this blog, my website (www.bonnybeswick.com), and my Facebook page (4) Facebook, for dates and places. I hope to see you at one of them!

In closing this blog, I want to thank Jude Pittman for her belief in my work. Jude passed away in early May after a brief illness. She was an unbelievable force at BWL Publishing Inc., and is going to be missed by all of us.

Books We Love and a bit about Jude by Janet Lane Walters #BWLAuthor #MFRWAuthor #Jude

 Many years ago, I was a member of EPIC, the Electronically Published Authors. At one of the conference I met Jude. We became part of a promotional group. We read each other's books and posted reviews with several electronic magazines that are no longer around. I can remember several of the people in the group and also went to conferences.

Jude decided to start a publishing company. For me this was great. One of my publishers had decided to only publish erotic books and very few of mine fit that category, The publisher returned my writes and I told Jude. One by one, she began to publish them.

I don't remember the year but there was some sort of two or three day affair of publishers in New York City. I believe this was a yearly affair. I was one of the BWL Authors who joined Jude there. I believe Brian made an appearance.

Books we Love had a table there - Maybe it was Madison Square Garden where this was held. This was at least 20 years ago, Meeting Jude again since we had met at an EPIC conference. We talked books and walked around stopping by other publisher's tables. But the most fund was talking to each other and getting to know some of our writers and our publisher.

I will never forget that time but I do wish I could remember more of those days and the talks about books and the laughter. I will miss receiving little notes when I send in a new book to be published. I will also remember those days when Jude was more than my publisher. I'll always regret not having the time of the health to visit her in Canada.

I'll also remember her smiles, laughter and encouragement. And her books that I've read each one several times.

Sink or Swim? Dismal Swamp vs Alligator River, by J.C. Kavanagh

 

To order your copy of the award-winning Twisted Climb series, click here: https://www.amazon.ca/stores/J.C.-Kavanagh/author/B01H0Q9GLA?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Choices, choices.

Regular blog readers will know that I'm on a sailing adventure with my partner, Ian. We left Georgian Bay, Ontario (Canada) last summer and travelled south to the Bahamas. After a sun-filled, enjoyable 'winter' there (sans snow), we're now heading home.

Part of our route involves motor-sailing through the Intracoastal Waterway (ICW), a 4,800 km (3,000 mile) waterway running parallel to the Atlantic Ocean. It extends from Massachusetts to the southern tip of Florida, up and around the Gulf Coast to the city of Brownsville, Texas. We will only travel the section from Florida to Norfolk, Virginia, and then traverse various canal systems to Lake Ontario.

The Intracoastal Waterway

The US government has mandated that the ICW be maintained/dredged to a minimum depth of 12 feet at low water tide.

I can unequivocally state that this 'minimum' 12 feet does not exist! Some areas - yes. But where shoaling occurs, and boy-oh-boy, does it occur, some areas are as low as four feet. The GPS will show the depths at varied levels, and other apps will state something different. Unfortunately, we have 'hit' bottom several times over the last couple of weeks. The draft on our sailboat (meaning the depth of the keel below the boat) is five foot seven inches. If there are waves, then we have to add more depth to the GPS sounding as the trough or lower part of the wave will affect the overall depth. Shoaling often occurs after storms and heavy seas, so I have to give some latitude to the Army Corps of Engineers who are tasked with dredging the ICW channels. Nonetheless, the shallow waters in the ICW make travelling a nail-biting, sphincter-test of nerves.

But back to the choices.

Dismal Swamp

It's the oldest operating, man-made canal in the United States. Originally an enormous swamp, it was drained and dug out by hand, beginning in 1793. It took 12 years to complete the 22 mile waterway which connects Chesapeake Bay, Virginia, to Albemarle Sound in North Carolina. According to Wikipedia, the government borrowed slaves from neighbouring plantations to be the labour force. What a sorry job for these men - the name Dismal Swamp is an apt description of the landscape and insects. The average depth along this route is six feet. Our boat requires a minimum of five feet seven inches to clear bottom. 

OR

Alligator River

This section of the ICW is also part of the Pungo River Canal. It's a 21-mile stretch of man-made land cut that's between eight and ten feet deep in the centre. Erosion along the banks of the river have contributed to logs and stumps scattered throughout. This makes for a dodgy travelling day because also scattered with the drifting logs and stumps are hundreds of crab pots. And if that isn't nerve wracking enough, you have to be on the lookout for swimming black bears, red wolves and yes, the occasional alligator. 

Our choice?

Alligator River. It's all about the depth!

Our GPS display as we travelled through the Alligator River.
The red arrow symbolizes our boat's position.
Note the depths (in feet) surrounding the dredged channel.

We didn't see any alligators or bears,
but we did see this beauty swimming across the river.

And so, our adventure continues. We're anchored in Norfolk, Virginia and tomorrow, we have to decide if we'll head out for an ocean pass to Ocean City, or, stay on the ICW and head to Chesapeake Bay. Choices, choices.

On a sad and personal note, the revered publisher of BWL Publishing, Jude Pittman, recently passed. It was sudden and unexpected. She has joined her beloved husband, Métis medicine man John Wisdomkeeper, in the spirit world. Rest in peace, Jude. You will be missed.

Stay safe, and don't forget to tell the ones you love that you love them.

J.C. Kavanagh, author of
The Twisted Climb - A Bright Darkness (Book 3) Best YA Book FINALIST at Critters Readers Poll 2022
AND
The Twisted Climb - Darkness Descends (Book 2) voted BEST Young Adult Book 2018, Critters Readers Poll and Best YA Book FINALIST at The Word Guild, Canada
AND
The Twisted Climb,
voted BEST Young Adult Book 2016, P&E Readers Poll
Voted Best Local Author, Simcoe County, Ontario, 2021
Novels for teens, young adults and adults young-at-heart
Email: author.j.c.kavanagh@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/J.C.Kavanagh 
www.amazon.com/author/jckavanagh
Instagram @authorjckavanagh
https://www.bookswelove.com/shop/series/the-twisted-climb

In Canada:

https://www.amazon.ca/stores/J.C.-Kavanagh/author/B01H0Q9GLA?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

In the U.S.

https://www.amazon.com/stores/J.C.-Kavanagh/author/B01H0Q9GLA?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1772905830&sr=8-1&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

 

Preparation is Key

 

                                                                  Find my books here

In writing as in life, preparation is necessary.

Do you prepare for trips? When do you begin purchasing airline tickets, making a hotel reservation, and signing up for activities? Do you research upcoming weather so you’ll know what clothes you will need? And in this always connected age…do you make a note to bring those chargers?

What else can you not leave home without when you travel? I hope it’s a good book!

Writers also value preparation to help bolster and foster our creativity. 

I’m working on two collections of short stories now—one set in Newfoundland, Canada, and the other in Vermont, U.S.A.. My research binders are full of how horses weighing a ton or more carried empty ore carts at the height of Bell Island’s iron mining days, what visiting Norsemen were up to in AD 1000, what First People's lives were like, how Vermont faced its own witch hunts and vampire epidemics. Fiction, especially historical fiction, demands good research, and plenty of it before, during and after (fact checking!) the many drafts of my stories are completed. Then there is book promotion, a never-ending pursuit of finding loyal readers.

As the philosopher Seneca has observed: "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." And my preparation research often leads to interesting plot twists or an authentic line of dialogue. Lucky me!

I try to be well-prepared..with skills, knowledge and experience. I need them all to foster my creativity!

How about you? How do you plan in your journeys—in travel and life?