If You Enjoy a Good Laugh by Victoria Chatham



 AVAILABLE HERE

Like all writers, I have to make time to read books, too. I have fairly eclectic tastes from fiction to fact and back again. My own preferred genre is Regency romance, but I enjoy thrillers, cozy mysteries, and now Stuart R. West’s Zach and Zora mysteries. I’ve read several of his books, but Zach and Zora had me laughing out loud. I get that humour is subjective and what amuses me may leave you cold, but I found Bad Day in a Banana Hammock a clever read.

On the face of it, Zach is a self-absorbed dim-wit. Not the most likely character to arouse my interest, but when he wakes up practically naked in bed beside a dead guy, I want to know more. Zach’s almost sure he didn’t commit the murder, but he has no recollection of the previous night. The fact that he’s is a male dancer (please do not refer to him as a male stripper) and is still wearing his ‘uniform’ adds to the mystery.

The one person Zach knows will help him is his long-suffering sister, Zora. With three kids and another on the way, the last thing she wants is to be involved with Zach’s problems. But he’s her baby brother, and she’s a Private Investigator, so what can she do but help him? This excerpt pulls it all together for me as it shows the relationship between the siblings and her way of handling her kids. If you enjoy this book, check out Murder by Massage and Nightmare of Nannies. You won’t be disappointed.

*****

With a diaper bag strapped over her shoulder, Zora hustled Nikki and Justin out the front door. “Come on, kids. We’re going on an adventure.”

“Adventure,” parroted Justin.

Nikki, already the sullen teen before her time, whined, “Mom, what’re we doing? I’m busy!” “Girl, I don’t wanna hear about busy. Just get in the back seat. Enjoy the sunshine. Remember what that is?”

“So stupid!”

“Zach,” she yelled up the stairs, “Samantha’s already in her seat by the door. Grab her on the way out.” A task surely even he couldn’t mess up. Then again, when it came to her brother, all bets were off.

Justin struggled with his seat, always a battle. No wonder her swear jar had evolved into a bucket. “Just stay still…almost….there.” Clack.

“Mom, really, what’re we doing? Why was Uncle Zach naked?”

“He wasn’t naked, Nikki. Just under-dressed.”

“Is he in trouble again?”

“No.” Yes. “We’re just gonna try and help him with some stuff.” Zora pressed down on the pedal, revving the engine. Hoping to speed her brother along, never the quickest guy to get things done. She checked her phone, fully charged and 10:30 a.m. Plenty of time to clear her brother of murder, get back and have dinner on the table for Phillip by six.

Despite the situation, Zora laughed when her brother stumbled out of the house. He had Samantha’s carrier seat in one hand and kept his pants cinched up with the other. A belt lapped off the end-loop, a wagging brown tail. The suit looked like a relic from the ‘80’s, entirely too large and probably never in style.

As Zach rolled open the back door of the mini-van, he sighed. “I know, right? I look ridiculous. Doesn’t Phillip own any regular clothes? Jeans, a polo, anything?”

“Hey, stylin’ guy, shut up and get in. It’s better than you waving your…golden sack around town.”

“Golden sack, golden sack, Uncle Zach has a golden sack!” Justin joined his sister in song. “Golden sack, gold—”

“Kids, enough! I don’t wanna hear that again about your uncle!”

“But, Mom, you said it first!”

“Again. Not a democracy.” She turned in her seat, double-checking Zach’s strapping in of Samantha. Unbelievably, a grin threatened to eat his face off. Clearly proud of the song his niece and nephew had concocted in his golden sack’s honor. No shame. “Get in, Zach.”

West, Stuart R.. Bad Day in a Banana Hammock (A Zack and Zora Mystery Book 1) Books We Love Ltd. Kindle Edition.

 AVAILABLE HERE

When Writers “Get Social”

To purchase novel Online

When Writers “Get Social”

Steve Cliffe, a great friend and fellow writer, had never attend a writer’s festival and confessed he didn't think much of the idea. “So, what, we just get together over a coffee and read each other’s books or something?” “Oh, it’s way more than that,” I answered, and so I dragged him off to the Creative Ink Writers’ Festival to show him what he was missing.  He soon learned the benefit that a festival or conference can bring. It’s mainly hearing other, usually well-established writers, talk. Not only about how they got there, but how they write, ideas on building stronger characters, how they promote themselves, and anything else they feel can assist you. There are many novelists that speak so you also learn certain aspects of writing pertaining to many different genres. Usually there is a question and answer session, and more than once a question has been asked and an answer given that made me say to myself, "wow never thought of that."

Most writers are an introverted lot that sit in a darkened room and pound out their muse’s inspiration. So being in a crowd might seem like a daunting task, but when the crowd has a mutual interest, it becomes a whole different matter. There are panels from experienced lawyers talking legal issues, police talking about how they operate, ballistics experts explaining usage and handling of the weapon and also the effect firing the gun has on a bullet, and paramedics passing on their expertise. It helps us immensely, even if it’s only because it makes us realize how little we know and how much research we need to do. Nothing is worse than publishing a novel and have someone email you. "I'm a “blah blah” and there is no way what you did in that scene would be allowed or would work."

One of my biggest learnings was during the Elevator Pitch Panel. For those wondering what an elevator pitch is, well, it’s just that. You are on an elevator and before you reach the very next floor you have about two sentences to pitch your book to the lone agent standing beside you. Here's what I came up with for my new novel, The Joining:

Slam Ghostbusters into a large cooking pot, use a classy hotel as the base, toss in a female Mickey Spillane and Edgar Cayce, stir in a herbal mix of the mob, add a pinch of abduction, season generously with ghosts and serve garnished with a sprig of TinkerBell.

Most of all, I left inspired to pound away at the keyboards again.

On top of all of that there were panels on ways to promote yourself, because most publishing houses these days don't have budgets to do that for you. One of the biggest things I learned is that being a published author is indeed a full-time job, as a podcast Steve and I put together shows. We will both publish and share this on our sites. So, enjoy. And if you really enjoy it, subscribe to his YouTube channel. His style of wit and humor is very addictive!

Steve Cliffe’s YouTube Channel "Inkspot"

https://youtu.be/tX_zYSvy51o

See you next month!

And if anyone wants to listen to my Authors show Podcast it is being rebrodcast this week.

The Author's Show Link

Sincerely

Frank Talaber

Email: twosoulmates@shaw.ca

Writer by soul. Words born within.

Karma, the seed. Paper, the medium. 

Pen, the muse. Novels, the fire.

Frank Talaber’s Writing Style? He usually responds with: Mix Dan Millman (Way of The Peaceful Warrior) with Charles De Lint (Moonheart) and throw in a mad scattering of Tom Robbins (Even Cowgirls Get The Blues).

PS: He’s better looking than Stephen King (Carrie, The Stand, It, The Shining) and his romantic stuff will have you gasping quicker than Robert James Waller (Bridges Of Madison County).

Or as is often said: You don’t have to be mad to be a writer, but it sure helps.

My Publishers Webpage:

http://www.bookswelove.com/authors/talaber-frank-paranormal-suspense-romance/

My webpage

http://twosoulmates.wixsite.com/frankt-author-blog

My novels and reviews are on Amazon are at: 

https://www.amazon.com/Frank-Talaber/e/B00UC407R0

My Facebook Published Author's page.

https://www.facebook.com/FrankTalaber/

My Facebook short story page

https://www.facebook.com/franktalaberpublishedauthor/

Twitter: @FrankTalaber

WALKING WITH THE ANGELS – DURHAM CATHEDRAL - June Gadsby

Celebrate Spring!

Dangerous Sanctuary by J. Q. Rose
Cozy Mystery

Pastor Christine Hobbs never imagined she would be caring for a flock 

that includes a pig, a kangaroo, and a murderer.

Find more mysteries by J.Q. Rose at BWL Publishing

Hello and welcome to the Books We Love Insiders Blog! I'm J.Q. Rose.

Celebrate Spring by J.Q. Rose

Has spring arrived in your corner of the world? At this writing, we're having the usual cool days in Michigan with gray skies and rain. But, that's expected because you know the old adage, April showers bring May flowers.

That reminds me of what my school teacher mother would recite every spring with a twinkle in her eye--

" Spring has sprung,

The grass has 'riz.'

I wonder where the flowers 'iz'."

I thought we'd celebrate spring today with quotes that will lift your spirits if spring is still struggling to show up or add delight if you are experiencing a lovely spring day.

The first day of spring.

The true harbinger of spring.

st

Springtime is gardening time.

Assured that spring comes after the winter--Rachel Carson

"One more time!"

Spring has that feeling of a fresh start unlike any of the other seasons. New birth, new beginnings. My wish for you is to have a fresh start this season and success with your new projects.

To all those who celebrate these important spring days:

Have a joyous Passover!

Have a Happy, Blessed Easter!

Click here to visit and like the J.Q. Rose, Author Facebook Page. Thank you.

Click here to connect to the Books We Love Website.

Final Day in the Amazon: Day Drinking with a Shaman! by Stuart R. West

Even more peculiar than the Amazon Rain Forest...

Sniff. The last day of our adventures along the Amazon River...

During our final meal at the lodge, one of the teens in our group mesmerized Antonio, our shaman in tow, with excellent sleight-of-hand coin tricks. Pretty amazing, something I thought I'd never witness: old magic meeting new.

Our new family.

Even more astounding is what transpired on our last day in the jungle, something I never thought I'd do in my lifetime, something that I'd never even considered: day-drinking with a shaman!

Cheers! ("Tink.")

We were told we were visiting the rum "factory." Yay! Something finally more my speed. Still, to get there we had to go via boat, so I blundered into my usual seat (the anchor position), and off we went. Across from our destination, I witnessed entropy in action as a tree toppled into the river with a gargantuan splash. Just another amazing sight, one of many. But the best was yet to come.

Shaman at work in the rum factory.

Calling the rum joint a "factory" was pure embellishment. Our tour consisted of standing around a hot shed, where an old-fashioned press was operated by a horse to squeeze sugar from cane. Antonio passed around the resultant sugar for us to sip from. I figured if I hadn't caught a rare disease by now, sharing germs with my fellow travelers wasn't gonna kill me. 

Victor explaining rum to a thirsty crowd.

Our shaman then dumped the resultant sugar into a fermenting barrel. Once he set the bowl back on the ground, a friendly pig lapped up the rest (I still don't know if he was a family pet or breakfast). Hey, alcohol kills germs! Apparently the pig had too much to drink and then sat on my wife's feet.

Rum-guzzling pig.

We hurried through the rest of the "tour": there's the fermenting barrel, over there's the oven to boil it, bla, bla, bla, let's drink!

All creatures, great and small, love them some rum.

Gathered around a table, three bottles were plopped down in front of us. Again, we shared a shot glass, all of us practically family now. After the first several shots, germs began to not matter so much.

Na zda-ró-vye! 

Ay caramba, dios mio!

The first bottle was straight up "aguardiente," aka "firewater." Akin to grain alcohol, it could strip paint off a wall and melt a clown's face. My chest nicely warmed, we moved onto the next bottle of booze, a ginger-infused alcohol.

To your health!

Antonio nudged my wife, pointed at the bottle, then wound a finger around his ear: muy loco! Didn't stop him from enjoying his rum, though. What's good for a shaman's good for me. 

Here's mud in your eye!

Ay, yi, yiiii, Viagra!

Next came "Siete Raices," which Antonio described as Viagra. For some reason, the factory owner kept pushing it on me. Did he know something I didn't? Hey, who was I to stand in the way of medicine?

Down the hatch!

Soon, our guide Victor filled up his cup by mixing two of the rums. He claimed it was Antonio's fault since he said he needed his Viagra. We weren't about to let him drink by himself, so the men joined him. 

Education can be fun!

Salute! 

Not to be outdone, the women had their turn at the bottles. Again and again. 

Gettin' some good learnin' done about nature!

Cin-cin!

A perfect way to end our jungle adventures, this went on for a while...

Incredibly, my boat balance appeared to have improved by the time we left.

Prost!

All in all, a very peculiar day. Which leads me into an extremely awkward and shameless segue: Have you read Peculiar County yet? Here's what critic "The Cellophane Queen" had to say about it: "Amazingly good. Brilliant. Pitch perfect characterizations and intriguing use of language remind me of the master writer, Stephen King. Dibby is a heroine of the first order taking charge in a very Peculiar County in Kansas." Visit alluring and strange Peculiar County now.

 

Another year of Rainforest Writers Retreat is come and gone by Nancy M Bell

This latest release of mine was my 2018 Rainforest project. Click on the cover to find out more.

The retreat is on Lake Quinault in the middle of the Olympia Penninsula. From Wednesday night until Sunday at noon a person is surrounded by other writers in the most beautiful surrounding you can imagine. If you venture out on the trails you might even meet the famous Big Foot or Sasquatch if you prefer. Walking in the shadow of the massive personality of the magnificent trees in the green light of the rainforest festooned with ferns and all manner of greenery it is easy to imagine Sasquatch watching you from sanctuary of the prolific growth. The lake at sunset is spectacular and I always spend time with the world,s largest Sitka spruce tree which makes its home on the Rainforest Village Resort property. I call him Sid and we have some quiet conversations while the birds sing around us and the other trees whisper their secrets.

It's a magical place. Registration for 2020 was last night and session 2 is already full. Last I looked session 1 and 3 still had openings but they go fast. Thursday night is group dinner night at the Salmon House Restaurant which serves the best food ever. Merriman Falls mushrooms are to die for and of course the salmon is second to none. Friday night we got together with some other writers and shared what we were working on in an impromptu readings session. It was such fun to hear what everyone else was working on. The genres are incredibly diverse. I look forward every year to spending time with my BFF who lives near Portland. I fly into Portland and then we road trip up to Lake Quinault to much hilarity, fun and some serious plot discussions.

Rather than ramble any more I'll just blow your mind with pictures of Lake Quinault and the Washington Rainforest.

You'll note there are no SUNRISE pictures

This is my friend Sid the Sitka Spruce and some shots of the trails that are right outside your door and just calling you to come and be inspired.

A Little Romance or a Lot

  

These are the areas where I write and I discovered something while looking at the books. There is romance in all my books. In some, there is a lot and in others, there is little.

Of course the ones titled romances have a lot but there is more to them. Most of my full length novels have something a bit more than just being romances. The romance underlies the other problems and I enjoy writing them.

My cozy mystery series has a romance that begins with just a mention of the romantic interest’s name. Each book the romance grows stronger until they are married. Both being in their sixties and a second marriage for both. The funny thing is I didn’t realize this was a romance until I reached the third book.

Even the YA fantasy series has a bit of romance. While the main characters become great friends, some of the minor characters have a bit of romance.

Why romance to flavor the stories. Probably because I’m a sucker for happy endings.