Summer is officially over. Thank God!
This past summer I couldn’t get enough of tsunami videos. I stoically watched 2-3 hours a day of YouTube footage, mostly of 2004 Indonesia and 2011 Japan. It wasn’t until the end of July when I finally acknowledged my strange summer obsession and looked up from the floodwaters long enough to question why. Answer: my summer had become wave after wave of losses. It all began with my husband’s sudden loss of health the third week in June.
This past summer I couldn’t get enough of tsunami videos. I stoically watched 2-3 hours a day of YouTube footage, mostly of 2004 Indonesia and 2011 Japan. It wasn’t until the end of July when I finally acknowledged my strange summer obsession and looked up from the floodwaters long enough to question why. Answer: my summer had become wave after wave of losses. It all began with my husband’s sudden loss of health the third week in June.
He had earlier scheduled four weeks off this summer for
vacation and study leave, including our second-ever cruise. It turned out to be
not a vacation, nor study leave; not even staycation. It was a summer-long sickation
with his mysterious illness continuing to baffle doctors as of this writing.
Included in this summer’s losses were the cruise and the
money for it because, always being fit and healthy, we had not considered travel
insurance. Our spare refrigerator-freezer quit working. Of course, since it’s
not often used, I didn’t notice it had stopped until all the food was spoiled. Our
second car (25-years-old) became no longer dependable. We sold it for parts,
but have not gotten a replacement. We sold our boat of 13 years because he
could no longer trailer it. This was the first summer that family has not
visited us, nor us them. My husband’s dizziness made him unable to drive; I
became chauffeur. He lost 30 pounds since the illness began. (Yay, weight loss;
boo, unintentional.) I gave up knitting since I only knit at night while
watching dramas with him, but he was not up for watching TV. I gave up
gardening – the first time without veggies in our yard in over 40 years. We also
loss power for six hours one evening, but no big deal. I gave up singing and
playing guitar, but worst of all, stopped writing.
Unexpected positive things also came as a result of this
past summer – spending hours together without distractions; unburdening ourselves
of big material things; my husband could sit, so sorted and shredded 40 years
of bills and receipts; I couldn’t concentrate to write, and didn’t want to be
far from him, so began making miniatures (HO railroading scenery and buildings,
D&D and gaming, and a miniature house for my grandkids, of their own house).
Also, surprisingly, three places asked me to do book signings without me even
contacting them.
With the dozens of medical tests, we know all the things
which are going right for my husband. A bit of self-diagnosis, what ifs, and
insisting on certain tests…we aren’t there yet, but we feel we’re getting close
to finding answers.
My husband’s only about 50%, but able to drive himself to
work. I began writing on my next book, and am very excited about it. I also quit
watching tsunami videos.
Going through periods of loss is tough. Seeing the hope of
light at the end of the tunnel is hopeful. May you, who have
gone through or are going through loss, see some encouraging hope of light. Keep on writing. Keep on reading.
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