Seasonal Un-Yummies

https://books2read.com/u/m2oPdk

The holidays are here. Wonderful gifts, great get togethers, and delicious foods.

Wait, hold it. Foods for the season need to be ranked. More precisely, some of them are rank.

Lets mull over a couple discussion options, or targets, as it were...with some mulled wine at hand. Ah, there we go.

It is almost silly to mention the first item, Yorkshire pudding, because it is nothing like a pudding. Nor is it a food. Ok, technically it is edible. Just kidding, it is impossible to put that stuff in your mouth and then smile.

Don’t worry, there is a simple solution to this. If you are at a table and find Yorkshire pudding in front of you follow these three easy steps. First, pull out your time machine and go back about two hour. Second, take the Yorkshire pudding ingredients and add sugar, and cherry pie filling, combine, and bake. Third, humbly accept the “thank yous’ from everyone at the table two hours later for the delicious donuts.

Now, Perhaps a game of deck shuffleboard would be the appropriate venue to talk about fruitcake. Don’t have all the items needed for a game. No problem. We simply have to plug in our table saw, throw on some safety goggles and slice our discs out of the fruitcake. Note: have an extra blade on hand if you are planning to cut out more then four.

First you have to make sure the fruitcake is fresh enough. The rule of thumb is, if its less than eight years old it's certainly in the prime of its life.

Ok, maybe fruitcake has gotten a bad rap over the years. Wait a minute. No it hasn’t. Just ask, well, anyone.

Disposal of above is a tricky business. Perhaps ones first instinct is to to drop it in the compost bin. Of course, if you drop it and you live in an apartment it will likely end up in the apartment below. Even worse, it might land on the dinner table and someone might be tempted. Composting is also an issue since the recycle depot will probably be obsolete before the fruitcake starts to decompose. There is always the nuclear option. Often that is a figure of speech.

Ironically...