10, 20, 30, 40 and counting...and counting!...by Sheila Claydon

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Saving Katy Gray is Book 3 of my When Paths Meet trilogy. All three books are about love and the messiness of family. Book 3 is especially pertinent to me at the moment, however, because two of the characters are growing old. Initially without the support and understanding they need. Katy Gray, who has already lost the older people in her family, is determined they will live well until their last breath. 

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They happen to all of us if we are lucky. The big birthdays that arrive once every decade. The birthdays that bring squeals of delight at 10, partying at 20, a quiet satisfaction that we are now really and truly adults at 30...and on and on it goes. 40, 50, 60, 70...I wonder how many of us will make it to 100. Do we even want to? If we are still active and healthy, then probably. If not, then probably not. As I said, we need to be lucky. And if we know someone like Katy Gray then we are doubly lucky.

Well one of my big birthdays is coming up. Another 10 years has flown by since the last one and yet it seems like yesterday. That's another problem with growing older, time shrinks! 

I celebrated the last one in Australia with our son and family, and because Australia is sunny and hot in March, we ate in a very relaxed restaurant near the beach. Then I had another 3 separate celebrations with Australian friends, all of whom seemed to be vying to give me the best time. I remember Oysters Kilpatrick, fine Australian wines, a surprise fish and chip picnic at the end of a fabulous boat trip, a concert at the Sydney Opera House...that birthday seemed to go on and on and I cherish the memories.

This one will be in the UK with daughter and family. It will be a far more formal affair I'm told. Glad rags are the order of the day although I still don't know where I'm going. When I was given the choice between a party or a family meal it didn't take more than a moment to choose the meal. There were a couple of reasons. The first is that I don't really enjoy being the centre of attention (it's an only child thing!) The second is, however, far more serious. I don't want to look like a 'Billy no mates!'

Because we have travelled a great deal so many of our very dear friends live in different countries. Once that would not have been a problem but now we are all so much older, it is. Even those who live in the UK, friends and family alike, have mostly stopped travelling. Too many cars on the road, too many old age ailments, preferring to sleep in their own beds, the list is a long one. There will be Zoom calls and WhatsApps. There will be smiling faces on FaceTime. I'll still get to see or hear from all of them without putting them through the pressure of travelling or having to say no. Again, how lucky are we to grow old in a world where we can talk to friends across the world at the click of a button. I remember so clearly my grandmother waiting and waiting for those tissue thin airmail letters that were the only thing that kept her in touch with her sons when they lived and worked overseas. 

I believe there will also be a small celebration with neighbours but as they are all within walking distance I won't feel bad about that:) And there is one other positive to look forward to. Shortly after the birthday celebrations are over, we'll be travelling to visit our son and family again. Now they live in Singapore we are looking forward to warming our cold English winter bones while we still can. And my decade birthday present from them is an en-famille long weekend in Indonesia (a short ferry trip away) so I'm still travelling...just. But then a son and daughter-in-law and, ten years on, a nearly 11 year old granddaughter, is a great pull. I might not be able to travel on my next decade's birthday though, so I'd better make the most of this one.

Happy birthday to anyone else out there who will have a decade birthday in March.