Website Woes by Renee Duke

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I’m sure everyone here knows how important author websites are for getting an author’s name ‘out-there’ and so, like many a modern-day writer, I have a website to encourage readers to learn more about me and my books.

Unlike many such writers, I am non-tekky, and therefore didn’t even try to set one up myself. I got my son to do it for me but, being some three hundred and eighty-nine miles away, he did the tweaking of it with me over speaker phone when he was ready to activate it.

The conversation went something like this:

SON: Are you on the site now?

MUM: Yes.

SON: Then log in.

MUM: There isn’t anything that says ‘Log-in’.

SON: There has to be. You did use the link I sent you, right?

MUM: It presented me with several options. The one I picked doesn’t say anything about logging in.

SON (after audible sigh): Try another.

MUM: Oh, yes, this one has a log-in button…It says the password isn’t valid.

SON: It is valid. You didn’t put it in right.

MUM: Spell it out for me as I type.

MUM (after he did so): That isn’t how that word is spelled. That word only has one ‘n’. How many times have I told you SPELLING IS IMPORTANT?

(I’ve personally lost count, having been doing so since he was in kindergarten.)

SON: Well, that’s how I’ve got it set up, so that’s what we have to go with.

MUM: But it’s not right.

SON: Just log in, Mother.

MUM: Oh, very well. There. A bunch of little coloured things just started jumping around.

SON: Good. That means it’s loading.

(Once it had loaded, I viewed the Home page and whined because it did not showcase all of my books.)

SON: That’s because I wanted call attention to the latest one (shown). There’s a ‘Books’ page for showcasing all of them. You want to entice people to explore your site, don’t you?

MUM: Yes. I’ll take a look at the Bio page now, then…Hmm. I hit ‘Bio’. Nothing happened.

SON: Hit it from where?

MUM: The tool bar.

SON: That isn’t active yet. You have to do it from the Menu button. When you hit that, it should say ‘Pages’, and after you hit ‘Pages’, a drop down list will appear with ‘Bio’.

MUM: Oh, yes! That worked.

SON: Now you go to…DAMN IT, CAT!

MUM: Jumped on your lap did she?

SON: No, the laptop.

MUM: Oh. Well, anyway, I’m there now.

(Some wrangling back & forth regarding bio photos. I wanted more, he wanted less. He won.                                                                                                                                                     We then moved on to tweaking the text. He told me how to change it, but…well…)

MUM: Okay, I’m back in the text box. Oh, wait, no, I’m not.

(Interval during which I managed to find the section I wanted and typed in the additional text.)

MUM: Okay, now I just…DAMN, IT CAT!

(From whom did you think he learned the expression?)

SON: What did she do?

MUM: Stepped on the keyboard…Uh, there’s something popped up here about having made changes in two windows, and which one do I want to save.

SON: (Pause) Well, that’s never happened before.

MUM: You weren’t on here with me before.

SON: True. Don’t bother about it. E-mail me what changes you want. I’ll take care of it.

MUM:  No, no, I can handle this.

(We then proceeded to undo whatever it was I did, with him ‘guiding’ me.)

SON & MUM (simultaneously): DAMN IT, CAT!

(It was like the two wretched felines sensed each other and were co-ordinating their sabotage.)  

MUM: I’m afraid that startled me so much I hit something that made the screen go away.

SON: Go away?

MUM: Yes. How should we go about getting it back?

SON: We shouldn’t. I think it would be better if you just let me do this, Mum.

MUM: It’s all yours, dear.

The end result is at: https://www.renee-duke.com/.