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Never have I had so much time on my
hands, and never have I wasted so much time by literally wasting time. I am now
feeling ashamed that I have admitted that. In the past when people asked me if
I ever got bored my immediate response was, “Never. There is always so much to
do”. I guess you could say that I have a good excuse. Here in my home state as
well as most of the other Australian states we are currently in lockdown for
the—I’ve lost count—time. This brings on a state of lethargy unknown to me
previously. I can go to the shops—if I have a valid reason for doing so. I can
attend my doctor’s surgery, and walk with one friend for daily exercise, as
long as it is within 5 kilometres of my home, but to add to our misery we are
under curfew. I have not been out after dark for many moons, but now that I
have been advised (read that as warned) not to do so for fear of incurring a
massive fine, I have this sudden urge to do just that.
Deep down I know that there is another valid reason for this depressed state of lethargy. Last week I had the unenviable task of taking my beautiful foxie boy to the vet clinic for the last time. This morning I received a beautiful letter of sympathy from the clinic’s amazing staff about my gorgeous boy and their knowledge that he will be sorely missed. There are varying degrees of sorrow, and only other pet lovers will know just what I am going through right now. I was hoping he would go while sleeping out in the sunshine on a day like today, as Tiger the dog did in my latest book, but that was not to be. My remaining pet, my Shih Tzu girl is still looking for him, especially around meal times when he was prone to sneak up on her and pinch whatever food she had left. Being an adopted dog I have the knowledge that the last ten years of his life spent with me were the best by far.
The world is in such turmoil right
now that I guess it is immoral of me to spare so much of my sorrow on one small
dog, but as I say, there are degrees and my heart aches for all those now in
dire circumstances, either through war or this vile disease sweeping the globe.
It is time to do as my mother advised and pull my socks up and get on with it.
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You're grieving and that will pass. Hopefully sowill this disease that tends to keep us in lockdown
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about Tiger's passing, Tricia. Especially in lockdown, when there is little else to think about. Cyberhugs. This pandemic, too, shall pass.
ReplyDeleteIt has been that kind of year, hasn't it? My theme is "there's always tomorrow" which really isn't always true. So today I made myself go out on an errand and with temperatures and humidity over 100, it about did me in! So I'm back to procrastinating, too. For now, we all need to give ourselves peace. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThanks all for commenting. Today I picked up my boy's ashes, and had another cry. It is so hard to find peace within while so much of our world is going through the toughest period for a long time.
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