To Freeze or Not to Freeze, That is the Question by Karla Stover

 

https://bookswelove.net/stover-karla/

BY THE SAME AUTHOR:    Available through BWL Publishing

Parlor Girls

Wynter's Way

Murder, When One Isn't Enough

A Line to Murder.

Golly Mosses, as if I don’t have enough to worry about, now it’s my jeans! No longer can they be tossed in the washing machine with other like-minded (so to speak and dare I say ) rough-and-tumble, manly items. No, now they have moved into the realm of one’s unmentionables and require TLC. Yes, those faded, distressed, ladder-ripped (professionally done, of course,) jeans, which are worn by those who want to show that they are an angry, societal non-conformist, and who knew so many were so irked, are actually quite fragile. So delicate, in fact, that people have been avoiding the washing machine altogether and are, instead, making use of the freezer.

 Blame this peculiar attempt to eliminate odor-causing bacteria on Levi Strauss & Co., “which has long warned customers that washing machines can fade denim’s indigo hue and cause shrinkage. For some time, the brand advised consumers to place jeans in a freezer whenever they began to smell.”

For a zoophilist (otherwise known as a person who loves animals) this practice is actually cruel and unusual punishment. Though the practice does stun and temporarily immobilize bacteria, once the denim comes out of the freezer, the little germs warm up and go on with their lives. And think about this: “most of the bacteria found on worn jeans comes from our bodies, particularly skin cells and sweat.” Not what I want keeping company with my frozen foods.

However, should you want to try consider some fun options for your jeans, here’s what others do:

1.         1.  They try and “create a unique pattern in the natural faded and creased areas " by wearing them in salt water at the beach.

       2. They wear them while bathing, hoping for a good shrink-to-fit.

3.        3.  They only wash their jeans twice a year and spot clean as necessary.

       So, let’s look at what the experts have to say. 1. The "denim laundry" has already done what is necessary to create “an authentic or worn look.” 2. They are already prewashed and preshrunk. 3. The jury is out on the semi-annual wash. As to freezing, it just doesn’t work. 

       However, if you think a good washing is an anathema, try leaving your jeans outside in direct sunlight for a day or two, spraying them with a mixture of one part vodka to nine parts water, turning them every few hours and letting them dry naturally. To which I say, “oh, for gosh sakes!”