Faux pas at the Jazz Concert by Kevin and Bruce McKern

McKern, Brothers - BWL Publishing Inc.

Back in the mid '90S, my brother Bruce (you know, that bass player guy) was finishing up his conducting degree at Southern Oregon State College (now Southern Oregon University).  Their Jazz Band needed a drummer, so the director asked Bruce if I'd be willing to play.  I wasn't playing out that much at the time, and I'd never before had an opportunity to play drums in a Big Band, so I said yes.  Fast forward to the end of term concert.  It was the usual drawn-out, multi-group extravaganza with some random comedy thrown in.  For instance, during one of the smaller group's sets, the big band's pianist was doing his Louis Armstrong singing impression from the wings loud enough to draw focus from the stage (which wasn't necessarily a bad thing).  And then, it happened.   During one of the Big Band pieces, the guitarist (who happened to be one of the more popular professors in the Music Dept.  An everyman sort of fellow; the kind of guy that kept a stash of bologna and pretzels in his office, and didn't mind it when he was nicknamed "Norm" because of his resemblance to a popular sitcom character) turned towards the rest of the rhythm section and said "Oops".  We were initially puzzled, because we didn't notice any obvious musical error.  Then, an overwhelming stench hit us like a brick wall!  We managed to finish the concert while chuckling/gagging uncontrollably.  One of the lasting images of the incident is of the pianist, sitting high atop six plastic chairs, with his shirt pulled up over his nose.  At the after-show beer bust, we all came to the same conclusion:  "Norm" sh*t the jazz concert.