The
Aquamarine Necklace: Beswick, Bonny: 9780228634737: Books - Amazon.ca
CHANGE
The bi-annual kerfuffle over the time change has me thinking
about how I react to change.
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus from the city of Ephesus (photo
of the ruins at Ephesus) said that “no man ever steps in the same river twice”.
In other words, our lives are characterized by constant change. So, if the
nature of life and my reality is in constant flux, why does it so often make me
uncomfortable?
Though the seasonal time change
doesn’t bother me, why do so many get their knickers in a twist when March and
October roll by and it comes to change the clocks? After all, it’s only taking
one hour of sleep away. And let’s be honest, how many times do we accommodate bedtime
pushed an hour one way or the other to watch a great television program or the
Olympics? To have company over?
And how difficult is it to change clocks? Goodness sakes, these
days, most devices change automatically. If not, how many time pieces are there
in a typical house? Three or four? Surely changing them can’t take more than
five minutes.
In the big scheme of things, what’s the big deal? Life throws
other things our way that legitimately warrant the energy to complain.
But I admit, my resistance to change is increasing as I get
older. Why?
Is it fear? Even die-hard adventurers must fear the unknown, don’t
they? Maybe their anxiety about unpredictable outcomes and personal
inadequacies is tempered by the experience and bravado I lack.
How much is due to a moral attachment to existing routines? I
don’t think I often mutter to myself if it was good enough for someone else,
then it’s good enough for me. And I definitely try to avoid saying “that’s
not the way Mom used to cook it” when I go for dinner to my sister's house!
Maybe it’s just because I don’t have as much energy to burn
as I did as a younger pup. That’s legitimate, isn’t it, when there’s additional
effort required to make a change and I drag my feet? Even when, for example,
when someone suggests yet ANOTHER software programme to do something that
trusty, reliable EXCEL can do. It’s not that I cannot learn something new. It’s
that I do not WANT to devote the energy to it (even if the end result might be
worth it.)
Mind you, I find the change more palatable when it is
suggested by someone I trust.
Change requiring an alteration to my routine, forcing me out
of my comfort zone, leads to (sorry to admit) passive resistance, usually.
Procrastination – often. And outright opposition and sabotage – who, me?
I am consciously trying to accept change more willingly and
with a better attitude.
The Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus is credited with saying
that we cannot control what happens to us, only how we react to it. Though this
is common sense, I need to remind myself of it when I’m being particularly
obstinate.
Though my tendency is to have a knee-jerk reaction, I try to pause.
Take a breath and a second look. Why am I objecting? Being contrary? Would I
accept the change if it came from someone else? Or what if I came up with the
idea?
I will change the perspective. Does it make it easier? Is the
impact of the change going to rock my world (few are) or is it just a minor
alteration? And is the effort worth the
result?
What if I revise my mental image? If I decide to stay away
from desserts, it’s easy to sulk. But instead of deprivation, if I focus on the
trousers I want to get back into, it’s easier to leave the table.
The bottom line is that I want to steer clear of transforming
into a curmudgeonly old biddy, constantly locking horns and resisting change.
April is
going to be filled with making changes. Both the sequel to Janice Maidstone’s
“The Aquamarine Necklace” (“What Love Made Us Do”) and the revised edition of
“Under the Ombu Tree” are back from my editors and are waiting for me to do the
final polishing. Can I look at the changes they suggest with an open mind?
Willing heart?
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