Books We Love Insider Blog: Creative Insults by J.S. Marlo

Tuesday, September 8, 2026

Creative Insults by J.S. Marlo

Wide of the Mark

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J. S. Marlo's Books

I'm an avid reader, but frequent swearing turns me off. I will not stop reading a good novel if the a character uses the f-word a few times in the right context, but I will put one down, and never pick it up again, if it's the protagonist's favourite adjective. To me, it just shows a lack of depth in the character, and I don't like two-dimensional characters.

Now, if you want to insult someone without swearing at them, you may want to try some of these creative examples:

- You have a unique ability to misunderstand the most simple thing.

- Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.

- I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

- The closest you’ll come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle.

- You look smart in pictures.

- Were you dropped a lot as a baby?

- I’m still debating whether you’re the weakest link or the missing link.

- I don't have any crayons to explain this to you.

- If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic at all times.

- Did you sniff a lot of glue as a kid?

- There really is one born every minute.

- You’re completely right, except for everything you just said.

- Your gene pool needs more chlorine.

- I will not have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

- It’s impossible to underestimate you.

- I’ll never forget the day we met, but I'll keep trying.

- You’re not stupid. You just have bad luck thinking.

- You’re like a puzzle with half the pieces missing.

- Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot.

- Stupidity isn’t a crime. You’re free to go.

- You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

- I’m busy right now, can I ignore you another time?

- It's hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.

- Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.

- Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

I may just use one or two in my next book.

Happy reading!

J. S. Marlo's Website

J.S. Marlo

J.S. grew up in Shawinigan, a small French Canadian town, married a young military officer, and raised three spirited children. Over the years, she enjoyed many wonderful postings in many different regions of Canada. After her children left the nest, she began writing. Three years later, she captured her dream of becoming a published author. She writes a blend of romantic suspense and murder mysteries. Most of her stories are set in Canada, and if they are not, they feature Canadian characters. J.S. isn't sure where time flew, but decades later, she ended up writing under the Northern Lights in Alberta while spoiling four adorable grandchildren.