Childhood Bullying and what to do about it

 

 

Nearly everyone has been bullied at some point in their lives, especially during their school years. Most have experienced it occasionally and for only a short while. But what if a child is subject to daily bullying, lasting weeks, sometimes months and even years?

The consequences of long-term bullying, for children and teens, can be devastating. Younger children express the daily anxiety as stomach aches, headaches, sleep disturbances, withdrawal and nightmares. For the especially vulnerable, bullying can result in dropping out of school, self-harm, panic attacks, depression, and violent behavior.

At least one in three adolescent students in Canada have reported being bullied, while 47% of Canadian parents have reported their child being a victim of bullying. Studies suggest that roughly 6% of students aged 12 to 19 bullying others on a weekly basis while 8% are victims of weekly bullying.

Children get bullied in several ways. The most common is verbal bullying, which include racial slurs, unwanted sexual comments and threatening words. Another is social bullying, which includes mobbing, public humiliation and graffiti. Cyber bullying, the use of the internet, smartphone and other devices to intimidate, harass and spread rumors or explicit images, is a fairly recent phenomenon. Finally, physical bullying, the hitting, poking, stealing possessions and unwanted sexual touching, has been around since time immemorial.

The sex of the victim plays a role in the type of bullying. Girls are more likely to be subjected to cyber and social bullying than boys, while non-cisgender children are three times more likely to be victimized.

What about the bully? In many instances, bullies are also victims—of violence in their homes, dysfunctional family situations and of unhealthy power relationships in their lives. Studies show that 40 percent of bullying boys engage in delinquent behavior as compared to 5 percent of those who don’t. Many grow up to be troubled adults, displaying psychological problems, aggressive tendencies and adult depression. The prevention of bullying in children and youth is an important factor in reducing future possible criminal behavior.

Much can be done to counter this problem. Among the most effective are in-school programs, which provide comprehensive, school-wide models that seek to track, prevent and alter both the environmental factors and the victimization of students. Students can be taught some simple steps to protect themselves, such as walking away, asking for help and staying in groups. Programs, such as BullyingCanada.ca offer free hot-line services and counselling to both students and parents.

 

 Mohan Ashtakala is the author of "The Yoga Zapper," a fantasy, and "Karma Nation," a literary romance. (www.mohanauthor.com) He is published by Books We Love (www.bookswelove.com)

 

 

Reading to Toddlers

 

 

An interesting thing happened recently. We celebrated a toddler’s third birthday a few days back and, among the gifts the young one received, besides the usual counting blocks and plastic toys, were a Kidscreen—a computer-of-sorts containing games and videos—and a couple of books.

The mother plugged in the Kidscreen and went through the various electronic offerings. After a few minutes, however, the child lost interest in the gadget and started his usual running around. I picked up the little one, gathered the books, and started to read. Needless to say, the child, whose senses had become overly-excited by the birthday celebration (and a bit too much sugar) sat down quietly, intensely absorbed by the story-telling. When both books were read, the request came “Again!”

In a way, it is not surprising. Children are not impressed by expensive gifts, but value the personal connection that the simple ones provide. The American Academy of Pediatricians recommend no screen time for babies younger than eighteen months and not more than one hour a day for children up to five. Of course, educational programs help toddlers learn the alphabet, for example, but at that age, toddlers’ needs extend far beyond what a screen can provide.

Of greater benefit to a child is the reading of a book by an adult. Children feel secure when read to, and the act solidifies the child-parent relationship. It develops listening skills which are of paramount importance in the process of learning.

Research has shown that cognitive skills developed by this practice, extend well into the teenage years, and lead to higher scores in language and problem-solving proficiencies. Toddlers usually have very short attention spans but develop concentration and self-discipline when read to.

The greatest benefit, however, is the development of creativity and imagination. When read to, my little friend’s pupils enlarged and by his hands, mouth and eyes, he displayed the corresponding emotions and wonder of the story being read.

When to commence reading to babies? Start today! Even if they can’t follow the plot, babies, being emotionally observant, can easily discern follow their parent’s feelings. This, in itself, is a great first step in helping them in understanding the world around them. Happy Reading!

Mohan Ashtakala (www.mohanauthor.com) is the author of "The Yoga Zapper," a fantasy and "Karma Nation," a literary romance. He is published by Books We Love, (www.bookswelove.com.)