Cleaning house

The Twisted Climb by J.C. Kavanagh

Is your house getting cleaner as you get older?
If no, scroll to the next sub-heading.
If yes, keep reading.
I've noticed that every year, maybe even every month, my house stays cleaner for longer periods of time. Truly. The older I get, the cleaner my house.
Until recently.
I used to tell myself, "There's no dust here because I live in the country."
I used to tell myself, "The bathroom sinks stay shiny for ages."
I used to tell my friends that my house stays clean all by itself. "There's an anti-dirt / anti-dust fairy in my home." Weren't they great friends for just nodding their heads. No eye-rolling or cuckoo motions.
Until, as I said before, recently.
I was having dinner with my partner, Ian, and extolling the unending virtues of our house-cleaning fairy.
He quietly asked, "Are you talking about the fairy that's collecting dust bunnies in your bathroom?"
Whaaaat?
He was very calm about his question. Or was it a proclamation? I hurried to my bathroom, pulling Ian behind me. The dark green marble tile looked like it always does. I turned around inquiringly and Ian pointed to a corner, beside the Jacuzzi tub. I squinted and peered. "Nice marble, though the colour is a bit dated."
He sighed and handed me my reading glasses. "Now have a look."
"Alright," I said and perched them on my nose. I cast my eyes toward the offending corner.
Good Lord in heaven above. There were dust bunnies the size of cats and they had given birth to baby bunnies all over the floor!
What happened?
I looked at my sink. Were those eyebrow hairs behind the faucet, collecting on the white porcelain? Good Lord in heaven above. Yes.
Wasn't the sink shiny and clean? Well, kind of. More like shine-spot-here and shine-spot-there.
Now I was angry. That no-good house-cleaning fairy done gone and run off with a no-good lazy-butt dirt fairy.
Or not.
"What happened?" I asked my other half. "And why didn't you tell me?"
Ian just grinned. "I like it when you can't see the dust. I'm not going to tell you it's there.... you'll make me clean, too."
That was cheeky but quite true. Never has there been a more vacuum-loving, bathroom-cleaning and dust-free fanatic, than me.
Until recently.
Oh those eyes, they ain't what they used to be.

Next sub-heading

If you skipped to here, you missed a funny story and really, you should go back to the beginning.

My other half, Ian.

He's a good bloke - won't see dust - will feed birds.

Book signings in Ontario!

Come see me at the Chapters store in Square One, Mississauga on Saturday, January 28. Or, drop by for a visit at the Chapters store in Newmarket on Saturday, February 11.
I'm also part of two 'Meet the Author' events for the Angus and Caledon libraries in February and during the children's school break in March. I'm looking forward to sharing with the kids just how I 'dream' up most of my stories.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you had a wee chuckle or two at the expense of me ol' eyeballs. Cheers!

Joanie
aka J.C. Kavanagh
The Twisted Climb
A novel for teens, young adults and adults young at heart.
Email: author.j.c.kavanagh@gmail.com
www.Facebook.com/J.C.Kavanagh
Amazon.ca/author/jckavanagh
Twitter @JCKavanagh1

"Word movies"

https://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Climb-J-C-Kavanagh-ebook/dp/B01GZ2L2MQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479253039&sr=8-1&keywords=the+twisted+climb

 The Super Moon

The 'super' moon on November 14, 2016. (Photo by J.C. Kavanagh, Lisle, Ontario)

Life is such an interesting journey, don't you think? There are great days, horrible days, and 'meh' days in between. So many choices and so many directions become available in daily events that it's hard to figure out which choice leads to the best destination and in fact, what determines the 'best' destination. It doesn't matter which continent you live in, 'interesting' times are certainly ahead.

Did you see the 'super' moon the other night? The clouds parted and behold! There it was - displayed in all its eerie magnificence. The sight of it reminded me of the many moon descriptions in my book, The Twisted Climb (a novel for teens, young adults and adults young at heart AND the perfect Christmas gift. Really.) https://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Climb-J-C-Kavanagh-ebook/dp/B01GZ2L2MQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479249830&sr=8-1&keywords=the+twisted+climb

                   'Meet the Author' event

I felt honoured to participate in a recent 'Meet the Author' event, hosted by my local library and part of Ontario's Reading Week events. I was one of five local authors who read excerpts from their book, responded to a Question & Answer session, and then spent time meeting attendees and showcasing our books. What a great night! I'm happy to tell you that a librarian from another district was so pleased with my book 'reading,' that she invited me to share my writing experiences with the youth at her library. I'm very much looking forward to that early next year.

Paranormal plus

Many of my readers are curious to know details about the sequel to The Twisted Climb. The plot has been brewing in my mind for some time now and the tentative title is: The Twisted Climb - Darkness Descends. Most of the draft outline is complete and now I have to sew it together, seam by seam, chapter by chapter. It's truly inspiring to hear friends and strangers alike suggest story lines and events in the next book. "Jayden and Connor HAVE to meet in real life!" is one recommendation. "Introduce more paranormal activity" is another. I get goosebumps when my fictional characters are discussed as if they are real, living people.

Available in Canada, the U.S., the U.K. and now, Australia!

Books We Love is a great promoter of - guess what - books we love! And now the publishing company is opening readership potential to one of the largest continents in the world - Australia. It's great to be part of this fine Canadian company as it opens doors for readers around the world and promotes our "word movies."

J.C. Kavanagh
The Twisted Climb
A novel for teens, young adults and adults young at heart.
www.Facebook.com/J.C.Kavanagh
www.Amazon.com/author/jckavanagh
Twitter: @JCKavanagh1

The elevator/escalator life of the author

Book sales. Well, am I right? They're up, they're down. They're over the top; they're below the counter. Checking sales statistics every day in the life of an author is like jumping on a moving roller coaster ride. First level, you check the stats on Amazon.com. No, that was a downer, take a headlong dive. Check the stats of Amazon. ca. Better. Slowly inch upward. Then, check the stats on Amazon.co.UK. Yikes. Where the *#? are my Irish relatives? and what happened to their wallets? Take a sharp, twisted nose dive. Oh, boy. Don't lose the day job. Wait, I don't have a day job. YIKES again. Sigh. Go to AuthorCentral.com. Coaster slows down as it pulls slowly uphill. Oh dear. Still under a million sales which is supposed to be not too bad. Ahem.

Almost awful but then check the Author rank under my genre. Sigh. 40,000 sounds so much better, doesn't it? No really, doesn't it? Roller coaster hesitates, stalls and then..... falls. Real life interrupts your twisted dream climb and you know you have to keep plugging away!!

Good thing I still love my book(s). And I love to write and will continue to do so. Jude Pittman shared some words of wisdom with me, something to the effect of:  'Write for the love of it - knowing that your children and their children and their children will enjoy a piece of you and your heart for all eternity.' That struck home with me in a big way. I write because I love to write and because I believe that the good Lord gave me a gift to use. I will carry on.

My promotional activities have led me to so many book stores and libraries and, in every place I've travelled to, I've met people who all share a strong, common bond: the love of words - the love of stories. I call them "Word Movies." No matter what you call them, we all share the love of weaving words into stories and bringing characters to life so that they become real. Magical. Characters that are our friends. And our enemies. Real. When we can do this with our story, with our characters, then our books are true word movies.

I'm loving the writing and marketing journey that my book, The Twisted Climb, brings me. Jude Pittman, our publisher, is a great guide and I follow her directions. Occasionally I go off centre but she always brings me back. Doesn't even need the whip sometimes. Kidding, Jude!

My first official Book Signing at Chapters, in Barrie, Ontario

Had the best time with the professionals at Chapters in Barrie, Ontario on Saturday (yesterday). Everything was well prepared and the staff were fantastic for my first official commercial book signing. I gussied up my book table and added a few cosmetic touches so the front doors, pillars and book table were eye-catching and professional. It was a fantastic learning experience and once I got the art of maintaining eye contact with every passer-by, they were mine. Now I know that I have one-on-one sales skills. I like that ! All this time, I've been plugging my book The Twisted Climb like a one-lung Irish banshee on her last lump of coal and her final sip of whiskey. Ha! Not any more..... but you know, the cool part of my book signing was that Wayne Gretzky was coming to town the very next day at the very same book store, pushing his latest book at the very same table I just emptied of my great book stock. I left him a wee message and told him that if his book signing was as successful as mine, he should be happy. Aren't I the cheeky one chatting up the Great One? !!

Now, I'm taking a breath and about to prepare for an Author Event in my local town - one of five authors invited to read from their novel, participate in a Q&A session and then provide time for a signing/selling session. Throughout this publishing / marketing experience, I've learned that if you invite 50, expect one percent. Even if they are your best friends. The up-side is that even if they don't/can't come, I still love them! I'll take some pics of the 'Meet the Author' event this week - part of the Ontario Public Library week activities - and post on my blog next month. I'll also add some more details about my favourite scale-covered mammal, the pangolin. Until then, enjoy this blog and the other blogs of the very talented writers from the Books We Love collection of authors.

J.C. Kavanagh
The Twisted Climb, a book for young adults and adults young at heart.
www.Facebook.com/J.C.Kavanagh
Amazon.com/author/jckavanagh
Twitter: JCKavanagh1

A summer to remember

Helllooooooo all!
It's the 16th day of the 2016th year - is that supposed to mean something special? Personally, I think every day is special, each for its own reason, or, for no reason at all. Just being.

This summer has been one of the most memorable in all my 50+ years. Weather was hot and dry and for sailing, winds were strong enough to warrant plenty of 'wind warnings' in Georgian Bay. However, the fish were too shy for my liking. When I bought the Styrofoam container of worms at the Marina, the girl at the counter assured me they were well trained. She was wrong. But, fish or no fish, just being on the water was its own reward.

Promote promote promote!

Between sailing escapades, I've been promoting my book, The Twisted Climb. It's a book for young adults and, as I like to add, for adults who are young at heart. I have two events taking place next month: one is a signing event at a Chapters store near me, and the other is a 'Meet the Author' night, part of Ontario Public Library Week celebrating authors and books. I'm sooooo pumped! For the latter, I'm one of five invited authors who will read an excerpt from their book and then participate in a Question & Answer period.

Amazon

I took to heart Jude Pittman's advice about configuring Amazon / Author Central for countries around the world. It's exhilarating to know that your book is available in another continent. And at £2.10 there is no excuse for my Irish family not to buy. Right?

Ball hockey girls are the best!

More summer excitement came from my ball hockey team. They've been great supporters in my writing / publishing journey and proved it with a congratulatory cupcake-cake. So it is true. Ball hockey girls are the best!

Twitter

My son informed me that being an author means being a tweeter. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? But, apparently not. So, I've dipped my toe into the twitter-verse or whatever it's called, and I'm experimenting with this form of social media. I have a Facebook account (www.facebook.com/J.C.Kavanagh) which gives me free marketing exposure, so the next step, he tells me, is twitting. Or tweeting. Whatever.
Before I become a 'professional' with my twat or twit or tweet, I'm practicing under the following name: @JoanieJCK. Send me a tweet! I'll practice with my fellow BWL authors. Thanks for sharing my journey.

Joanie
J.C. Kavanagh
The Twisted Climb
A book for young adults and adults young at heart.

Email: author.j.c.kavanagh@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/J.C.Kavanagh
Twitter: @JoanieJCK

The poor pangolin

Hellllooooo (sing-song, soprano voice). How are you enjoying the summer so far? Hot enough? I live in the country north of Toronto and it is hot. 48 Celsius with the humidity. It feels like the Sahara desert and a Florida mangrove swamp all rolled into one. Thank God for air conditioning!

I’ve been quite busy these last few weeks, promoting and marketing and then marketing some more, my newly released book, The Twisted Climb. It’s been a yo-yo kind of experience, just like my sales numbers. I’m trying to ‘sell’ the eBook as hard/soft as I can to friends and family but so many of them say, “I’ll wait until the paperback version is published.”

How do you politely tell them not to be a cheap tard? That’s my polite version: tard without the bas in front of it. I mean, for under four bucks, you can enjoy the results of one year’s work. That’s a bargain, isn’t it? Please - if you have any suggestions about how to politely sway these tards, I’d love to hear from you. Your comments and thoughts are appreciated and welcomed!

Before I change the subject, I have to say something about the cover designer for Books We Love, Michelle Lee. Her work is outstanding. The Twisted Climb (pictured here) is in the young adult genre and Michelle’s selection for font and character representation is absolutely spot-on. The book contains drama, suspense, fantasy and paranormal events and the cover is a perfect reflection of that. Michelle Lee, you rock!

In my last blog, I talked about the pangolin, the only scale-covered mammal in the world. They are a slow-moving creature, covered in scales similar in composition to human nails, and without teeth. Without teeth? Yup. They have a tongue that begins somewhere in the abdomen and, depending on the species of pangolin (there are eight), it can extend up to two feet. Now don’t be thinking naughty things all you romance writers. Pangolins only eat ants and termites. Teeth are not required.

Unfortunately, the pangolin is on the endangered species list because they are being eaten to extinction through illegal trading/selling in underground black markets. Sad but true. In many third world countries, and under the guise of medicinal/quackery black magic, pangolins are slaughtered by the thousands. Some say that eating baby pangolins will enhance virility, prevent hair loss and eliminate migraines. Others say that grinding pangolin scales will enhance virility, prevent hair loss, cure dandruff and a multitude of other nonsensical conditions. In reality, pangolin meat and scales do nothing to enhance the human body. The truth is that continuous slaughtering of the pangolin will only augment the ignorant traditions and will ultimately result in the extinction of the species. Personally, I say no to that.

I’ve written a series of five children’s pictures books about these gentle creatures (still on the hunt for a publisher). It is my great hope that these books will place the pangolin in a new light, one where they are appreciated and not viewed as a black market quackery by-product.

J.C. Kavanagh

The Twisted Climb

author.j.c.kavanagh@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/j.c.kavanagh.com