Wedding Traditions by J. S. Marlo

 

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

My son proposed to his girlfriend over the Christmas Holidays to the delight of my six year-old granddaughter. She had been pushing them to get married for months, but when my future daughter showed her her ring, my granddaughter was in shock and almost burst out crying. Since there was a ring on her future auntie's finger, my granddaughter thought she had missed the wedding. Her mother and I had to explain to her that the guy gives the girl a ring with a gem when he proposes then the day they get married, they both give each other a wedding band.

The little episode got me thinking about the origins of some wedding traditions, so I started googling...just in case I decide to add a wedding in my upcoming Christmas novel.

The Origin of Bridesmaids

Ever wonder why bridesmaids are often asked to wear matching dresses to support the bride during the processional? It wasn't always to ensure the bride stood out, while her besties donned tacky gowns. Quite the opposite, as bridesmaids originally wore similar dresses to the bride to confuse her exes and outsmart evil spirits. That way, the evil spirits wouldn't know which woman in the group was getting married.

As far as bridesmaid duty, in early Roman times, bridesmaids would line up to form somewhat of a protective shield while walking the bride to the groom's village. The group of women, who were similarly dressed, were expected to intervene if any vengeful paramours tried to hurt the bride or steal her dowry.

The Origin of the Wedding Cake

It was common for grooms to take a bite of bread at the wedding, crumbling the rest over the bride's head for good luck. Guests would then scramble around her feet to pick up the crumbs, in order to absorb some of that good luck.

Later, the tradition evolved into the bride pushing pieces of her wedding cake through her ring to the guests. Those in attendance would take that piece of cake home to place under their pillows for, again, good luck.

The Origin of the Best Man

Obviously, runaway brides have been around for quite some time, because the best man's former duty was to make sure the bride didn't escape during the ceremony. Sometimes he was even asked to kidnap her. Yes, kidnap her. When the parents didn't approve of the marriage, the best man was tasked with ensuring the groom was able to take her away regardless of how her father felt.

Oh, and the best man wasn't just picked because he was the groom's best friend or brother. No, the term "best" was added to the title because that person had to be the strongest and most capable of the lot when it came to using a sword or weapon to fight off enemies and rival attackers during the ceremony.

The Origin of the White Wedding Dress

White is often associated with purity, which is why it's thought of as the traditional color for virgin brides. But did you know that before the mid-1800s, brides actually wore red. They didn't start wearing white until around 1840 when Queen Victoria was married to Prince Albert. Victoria went against the grain and opted for a white, lacy dress, a color that, at the time, represented wealth as opposed to purity.

The Origin of “Something Old, New, Borrowed, and Blue”

The tradition dates all the way back to the Victorian era, where these old, new, borrowed, and blue items were procured to bring good fortune to the bride, especially when they were all worn together during the ceremony.

The “something old” was worn to connect the bride to her past and her family, with the “something new” signifying that she was about to start her own new family and journey now. Unlike the old, the “something borrowed” was supposed to be taken from a happily married couple so that couple's good fortune could be passed on to the bride. The “something blue” was associated with faithfulness and loyalty in the relationship, akin to the phrase, “true blue.” However, the part of the rhyme that most people leave off is “a sixpence in my shoe,” which encouraged the bride to tuck in a sixpence coin for good luck.

The Origin of the Bridal Bouquet & Flower Girl

 Ancient Greek brides would carry clusters of herbs and spices—not flowers—to ward off evil spirits. That tiny bundle was thought to have magical powers. 

Typically the youngest person in the wedding party, the flower girl precedes the bride down the aisle. The tradition dates back to ancient Rome, where the flower girl carried wheat and herbs for the bride and groom.

The Origin of the Bouquet and Garter Toss

Tossing the bouquet is a standard tradition seen at most weddings, although, the garter toss is slowly losing its relevancy among modern-day brides. While the toss is probably the most annoying part of the reception for the singles club, you’ll be surprised to learn why the bride and groom used to throw the two at their guests.

In the past, couples didn’t wait until the honeymoon to consummate their marriage. They would often do the deed right after saying “I do,” which came as no surprise to their family members. The bouquet toss was used as a distraction, so she and the groom could...um...handle their business, while all the single ladies fought for the floral bunches. Tossing the garter also symbolized that the groom had made things official, as eager guests waited outside of the bedchamber for proof.

The Origin of the Veil

Originally, brides wore veils to protect them from evil, jealous spirits, and to also preserve their modesty. In early days, particularly in Ancient Greece and Rome, bridal veils were worn to confuse the devil and be protected from the “evil eye.”

However, in some cultures, it was employed by dear old dad to trick the groom into marrying his daughter who, let’s just say, was beautiful—on the inside. The dainty headwear was also used in arranged marries to hide the identity of the bride until the unveiling at the ceremony.

The Origin of the Honeymoon

Back then, the honeymoon was an escape—literally. Remember that whole kidnapping-the-bride debacle attributed to the best man? Allegedly, the honeymoon served as a way for the husband to hide the bride for about a month so her tribe wouldn’t know where to find her.

The Origin of Saving Your Wedding Cake

This longstanding tradition of preserving the top tier of the wedding cake was done so the couple could eat it together on their first wedding anniversary. Perhaps you knew that already, but did you know that saving the cake was also tied to having a baby?

If you’ve ever heard the rhyme, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage," then you know that many people assumed back in the olden days that the bride would have a baby within a year. The idea of saving the top the half of cake was so the newlyweds wouldn’t have to buy a celebratory dessert to announce the pregnancy or birth.

The Origin of the Wedding Rings

Historically, the bride’s ring symbolized ownership. In early Roman, Greek, and Jewish cultures, rings were used as collateral to pay the father of the bride. The timeless tradition evolved with the advancement of women’s rights, as brides now exchange rings with the groom as well.

The reason those shiny bands are placed on the fourth finger during the ceremony is because the fourth finger was believed to contain a specific vein that leads to the heart.

The Origin of the Father Walking the Bride Down the Aisle

The tradition dates back to a time of arranged marriages, where the "giving away" of the bride represented transfer of ownership. Back then, young women were used as collateral to settle debts or disagreements with neighboring tribes, as well as for the father to elevate his status by marrying his daughter off to a wealthy family. Today, though, many brides look forward to having their father walk them down the aisle simply to honor him.

The Origin of the First Look

The concept of it being bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony actually started from arranged marriages, where it was believed that if a bride and groom saw each other before the big day, they’d have enough time to call off the wedding. After all, no one wants to be left at the altar, right?

The Origin of the First Kiss

Back then, it was customary for the priest to give a holy "kiss of peace" to the groom, who would then pass the kiss on the bride. This was done to bless the marriage inside of the church, giving way to the common phrase heard today at most ceremonies: "You may now kiss the bride."

 Yesterday afternoon, my granddaughter and I were on a Facetime video call with my future daughter as she was trying white wedding dresses...and showing flower girl dresses to my granddaughter. How many of these traditions will be followed remain to be seen,  but I can already tell you that the bride and her little flower girl will both be gorgeous!

Happy reading & Stay safe

JS

Reference: https://www.southernliving.com/weddings/history-wedding-traditions#

 

 

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