Wedding Traditions by J. S. Marlo

 

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

My son proposed to his girlfriend over the Christmas Holidays to the delight of my six year-old granddaughter. She had been pushing them to get married for months, but when my future daughter showed her her ring, my granddaughter was in shock and almost burst out crying. Since there was a ring on her future auntie's finger, my granddaughter thought she had missed the wedding. Her mother and I had to explain to her that the guy gives the girl a ring with a gem when he proposes then the day they get married, they both give each other a wedding band.

The little episode got me thinking about the origins of some wedding traditions, so I started googling...just in case I decide to add a wedding in my upcoming Christmas novel.

The Origin of Bridesmaids

Ever wonder why bridesmaids are often asked to wear matching dresses to support the bride during the processional? It wasn't always to ensure the bride stood out, while her besties donned tacky gowns. Quite the opposite, as bridesmaids originally wore similar dresses to the bride to confuse her exes and outsmart evil spirits. That way, the evil spirits wouldn't know which woman in the group was getting married.

As far as bridesmaid duty, in early Roman times, bridesmaids would line up to form somewhat of a protective shield while walking the bride to the groom's village. The group of women, who were similarly dressed, were expected to intervene if any vengeful paramours tried to hurt the bride or steal her dowry.

The Origin of the Wedding Cake

It was common for grooms to take a bite of bread at the wedding, crumbling the rest over the bride's head for good luck. Guests would then scramble around her feet to pick up the crumbs, in order to absorb some of that good luck.

Later, the tradition evolved into the bride pushing pieces of her wedding cake through her ring to the guests. Those in attendance would take that piece of cake home to place under their pillows for, again, good luck.

The Origin of the Best Man

Obviously, runaway brides have been around for quite some time, because the best man's former duty was to make sure the bride didn't escape during the ceremony. Sometimes he was even asked to kidnap her. Yes, kidnap her. When the parents didn't approve of the marriage, the best man was tasked with ensuring the groom was able to take her away regardless of how her father felt.

Oh, and the best man wasn't just picked because he was the groom's best friend or brother. No, the term "best" was added to the title because that person had to be the strongest and most capable of the lot when it came to using a sword or weapon to fight off enemies and rival attackers during the ceremony.

The Origin of the White Wedding Dress

White is often associated with purity, which is why it's thought of as the traditional color for virgin brides. But did you know that before the mid-1800s, brides actually wore red. They didn't start wearing white until around 1840 when Queen Victoria was married to Prince Albert. Victoria went against the grain and opted for a white, lacy dress, a color that, at the time, represented wealth as opposed to purity.

The Origin of “Something Old, New, Borrowed, and Blue”

The tradition dates all the way back to the Victorian era, where these old, new, borrowed, and blue items were procured to bring good fortune to the bride, especially when they were all worn together during the ceremony.

The “something old” was worn to connect the bride to her past and her family, with the “something new” signifying that she was about to start her own new family and journey now. Unlike the old, the “something borrowed” was supposed to be taken from a happily married couple so that couple's good fortune could be passed on to the bride. The “something blue” was associated with faithfulness and loyalty in the relationship, akin to the phrase, “true blue.” However, the part of the rhyme that most people leave off is “a sixpence in my shoe,” which encouraged the bride to tuck in a sixpence coin for good luck.

The Origin of the Bridal Bouquet & Flower Girl

 Ancient Greek brides would carry clusters of herbs and spices—not flowers—to ward off evil spirits. That tiny bundle was thought to have magical powers. 

Typically the youngest person in the wedding party, the flower girl precedes the bride down the aisle. The tradition dates back to ancient Rome, where the flower girl carried wheat and herbs for the bride and groom.

The Origin of the Bouquet and Garter Toss

Tossing the bouquet is a standard tradition seen at most weddings, although, the garter toss is slowly losing its relevancy among modern-day brides. While the toss is probably the most annoying part of the reception for the singles club, you’ll be surprised to learn why the bride and groom used to throw the two at their guests.

In the past, couples didn’t wait until the honeymoon to consummate their marriage. They would often do the deed right after saying “I do,” which came as no surprise to their family members. The bouquet toss was used as a distraction, so she and the groom could...um...handle their business, while all the single ladies fought for the floral bunches. Tossing the garter also symbolized that the groom had made things official, as eager guests waited outside of the bedchamber for proof.

The Origin of the Veil

Originally, brides wore veils to protect them from evil, jealous spirits, and to also preserve their modesty. In early days, particularly in Ancient Greece and Rome, bridal veils were worn to confuse the devil and be protected from the “evil eye.”

However, in some cultures, it was employed by dear old dad to trick the groom into marrying his daughter who, let’s just say, was beautiful—on the inside. The dainty headwear was also used in arranged marries to hide the identity of the bride until the unveiling at the ceremony.

The Origin of the Honeymoon

Back then, the honeymoon was an escape—literally. Remember that whole kidnapping-the-bride debacle attributed to the best man? Allegedly, the honeymoon served as a way for the husband to hide the bride for about a month so her tribe wouldn’t know where to find her.

The Origin of Saving Your Wedding Cake

This longstanding tradition of preserving the top tier of the wedding cake was done so the couple could eat it together on their first wedding anniversary. Perhaps you knew that already, but did you know that saving the cake was also tied to having a baby?

If you’ve ever heard the rhyme, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage," then you know that many people assumed back in the olden days that the bride would have a baby within a year. The idea of saving the top the half of cake was so the newlyweds wouldn’t have to buy a celebratory dessert to announce the pregnancy or birth.

The Origin of the Wedding Rings

Historically, the bride’s ring symbolized ownership. In early Roman, Greek, and Jewish cultures, rings were used as collateral to pay the father of the bride. The timeless tradition evolved with the advancement of women’s rights, as brides now exchange rings with the groom as well.

The reason those shiny bands are placed on the fourth finger during the ceremony is because the fourth finger was believed to contain a specific vein that leads to the heart.

The Origin of the Father Walking the Bride Down the Aisle

The tradition dates back to a time of arranged marriages, where the "giving away" of the bride represented transfer of ownership. Back then, young women were used as collateral to settle debts or disagreements with neighboring tribes, as well as for the father to elevate his status by marrying his daughter off to a wealthy family. Today, though, many brides look forward to having their father walk them down the aisle simply to honor him.

The Origin of the First Look

The concept of it being bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony actually started from arranged marriages, where it was believed that if a bride and groom saw each other before the big day, they’d have enough time to call off the wedding. After all, no one wants to be left at the altar, right?

The Origin of the First Kiss

Back then, it was customary for the priest to give a holy "kiss of peace" to the groom, who would then pass the kiss on the bride. This was done to bless the marriage inside of the church, giving way to the common phrase heard today at most ceremonies: "You may now kiss the bride."

 Yesterday afternoon, my granddaughter and I were on a Facetime video call with my future daughter as she was trying white wedding dresses...and showing flower girl dresses to my granddaughter. How many of these traditions will be followed remain to be seen,  but I can already tell you that the bride and her little flower girl will both be gorgeous!

Happy reading & Stay safe

JS

Reference: https://www.southernliving.com/weddings/history-wedding-traditions#

 

 

J. S. Marlo's Website

How do you say Snow? by J. S. Marlo

 

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

I have often heard that Inuit people have more than 50 words for snow. It's not quite true, but they do have many words for snow.

Back in November, I was checking the weather, and one day I saw a term I'd never heard before: light snow grains. The grains threw me for a loop. I was taking a long walk that morning, and the white stuff resembled prickly snow, so once I got back, I googled snow grains. From there, since I like for my stories to take place in the winter, I looked at how many different kind of snow term I could find in English.

Snow: Frozen precipitation in the form of white or translucent ice crystals in complex branched hexagonal form. It most often falls from stratiform clouds, but can fall as snow showers from cumuliform ones. At temperatures > than -5 °C, the crystals generally cluster to form snowflakes.

Wet snow: Snow with a high moisture content.

Dry snow: Snow with a low moisture content.

Snow grains: Frozen precipitation in the form of very small, white opaque grains of ice. The solid equivalent of drizzle. Their diameter is generally < 1 mm. When grains hit hard ground, they do not bounce or shatter. They usually fall in very small quantities, mostly from Status clouds or fog and never in the form of a shower.

Snow pellets: Frozen precipitation of particles of either spherical or conical ice; their diameter is about 2 to 5 mm. They are brittle, easily crushed, and unlike hail, when they fall on hard ground, they bounce and often break up. Snow pellets always occur in showers and are often accompanied by snowflakes or raindrops when the surface temperature is around 0 °C.

Blowing snow: Snow particles violently stirred up by wind to sufficient heights above the ground to reduce visibility to 10 km or less.

Snow squall: A heavy snow shower accompanied by sudden strong winds.

Frost: Frost is the condition that exists when the temperature of the air near the earth or earth-bound objects falls to freezing or lower (0 °C). Alternately, frost or hoar frost describes a deposition of ice crystals on objects by direct sublimation of water vapour from the air.

Hail: Precipitation of small balls or pieces of ice with a diameter ranging from 5 to 50 mm or more. Hail is generally observed during heavy thunderstorms.

Ice: The solid form of water. It can be found in the atmosphere in the form of ice crystals, snow, ice pellets, and hail for example.

Ice crystals: Precipitation in the form of slowly falling, singular or unbranched ice needles, columns, or plates. They make up cirriform clouds, frost, and ice fog. Also, they produce optical phenomena such as halos, coronas, and sun pillars. May be called "diamond dust." Precipitation of ice crystals in the form of needles, columns or plates sometimes so tiny, they seem suspended in air. They are mainly visible when they glitter in sunshine and occur only at very low temperatures and stable air masses.

Ice pellets: Precipitation of transparent or translucent pellets of ice, which are spherical or irregular shaped, having a diameter of 5 mm or less. They are classified into two types: hard grains of ice consisting of frozen rain drops or largely melted and refrozen snowflakes; pellets of snow encased in a thin layer of ice which have formed from the freezing of droplets intercepted by pellets or water resulting from the partial melting of pellets. Ice pellets usually bounce when hitting hard ground and make a sound on impact. They can fall as continuous precipitation or in showers.

Freezing rain: Rain, the drops of which freeze on impact with the ground or with objects at or near the ground.

Freezing drizzle: Drizzle, the drops of which freeze on impact with the ground or with objects at or near the ground.

Can I tell the difference between  all of them when I'm outside? Most of the time, but I oblivious didn't know about snow grains LOLOL

One thing I can say, it's how cold it gets in my northern corner of the world.  

It's so cold...we had to chop up the piano for firewood.  Ya, we only got two chords.

It's so cold...grandpa's teeth were chattering.  In the glass!

It's so cold...eating ice cream was knocked down to #4 in the "Top Five Ways to get a Brain Freeze".

It is so cold...we can toss a cup of hot water in the air and hear it shatter into ice crystals.

Happy reading! Stay Warm & Safe!

Many hugs!

JS

 

J. S. Marlo's Website

Full Moons have names by J. S. Marlo

 

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

On October 31, 2020, we saw something we hadn't seen since March 31, 2018. A Blue Moon. 

A Blue Moon is not blue in color. It's the second Full Moon of a  calendar month. Since the  lunar cycle is roughly 29.5 days, a Blue Moon doesn't occur very often, thus the idiom, Once in a blue moon.

 

At 28 or 29 days, February is a special month. It can't have two Full Moons, and about once every 19 years, it doesn't even have one Full Moon. When there is no Full Moon in a month, we call it a Black Moon.  The last Black Moon occurred in February 2018, when there were two Full Moons in January and March, also known as a double Blue Moon. The next Black Moon will occur in 2037.

 

The Blue Moon isn't the only Full Moon with a name. For millennia, people across Europe, as well as Native American tribes, named the months after features they associated with the seasons in the Northern Hemisphere, and many of these names are very similar or identical. Some Native names are often attributed to tribes who lived in a vast area stretching from New England to Lake Superior, and whose languages are related.

 

All the Full Moons have names--many names. Here are some of them:

 

January -> Wolf Moon  named after howling wolves. Other names are Moon After Yule, Old Moon, or Ice Moon.

 

February -> Snow Moon named after the snowy conditions. Other names are Storm Moon, or Hunger Moon due to the scarce food sources during mid-winter.

 

March -> Worm Moon named after the earthworms that come out at the end of winter. Other names are Crow Moon, Crust Moon, Sap Moon, Sugar Moon, Death Moon, or Chaste Moon.

 

April -> Pink Moon named after the pink flowers – phlox – that bloom in the early spring. Other names are Sprouting Grass Moon, Fish Moon, Egg Moon, or Paschal Moon because it is used to calculate the date for Easter.

 

May -> Flower Moon named after the flowers that bloom during this month. Other names are Corn Planting Moon, Hare Moon, or Milk Moon.

 

June -> Strawberry Moon named after these little red berries ripen at this time. Other names are Hot Moon, Mead Moon, or Rose Moon.

 

July -> Buck Moon to signify the new antlers that emerge on deer buck's foreheads around this time. Other names are Thunder Moon, Wort Moon, or Hay Moon

 

August -> Sturgeon Moon named after the large number of fish in the lakes where the Algonquin tribes fished. Other names are Green Corn Moon, Barley Moon, Fruit Moon, Grain Moon, or Red Moon.

September -> Harvest Moon if the September Full Moon is the closest full moon to the September Equinox (around Sept 22). Other names are Corn Moon, Full Corn Moon, or  Barley Moon.

 

October -> Harvest Moon if the October Full Moon is the closest full moon to the September Equinox (around Sept 22). Other names are Hunter’s Moon, Dying Grass Moon,  Blood Moon, or Sanguine Moon.

 

November -> Beaver Moon named after beavers who become active while preparing for the winter.  Other names are Frosty Moon, or Mourning Moon if it is the last full moon before the winter solstice,

 

December -> Cold Moon to signify the beginning of winter. Other names are Moon Before Yule, Long Night Moon, or Oak Moon.

 

To be honest, until today, I'd only heard of a few of them, but there are so many interesting names. Now I'm thinking I need a full moon in my next story--but which one?

Next month, I'll present my new novel, Mishandled Conviction. Until then Happy Reading & Stay safe.

Many hugs!

JS

 

J. S. Marlo's Website

The last sentence by J. S. Marlo

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

I'll start with the obvious. Every story ever written has three distinct parts: the beginning, the middle, and the end. Though these parts flow seamlessly into one another, when I write, I approach each part differently.

 In the first few chapters, I introduce the characters and  the first elements  of the main plot. It's not unusual for me to rewrite that first chapter six, ten or even a dozen times.  The first few pages need to grip the reader's attention and the first few chapters need to real the reader into the story. Where to start is always the major question. I want to engage the reader, so I need action, intrigue, or personal drama in that first scene, but I also need the main characters to appeal to the reader while remaining mysterious.

 

In the middle part, I develop the main plot and the main characters while weaving in the secondary plots and the secondary characters. Every scene adds details, and while it may provide answers of some sort,  it generates other questions or makes the reader questions these "answers". I like to end each chapter in such a way that the reader will want to read "just one more chapter" before going to bed. I don't do as much rewriting before moving to the next scene (compared to the first part  where I won't write the next scene until I'm first-draft satisfied with the previous one), but I  often go back to these scenes to add, remove, or change details to reflect the direction the story is taking. It never ceases to amaze me that characters I create in my mind can argue with me and make me rethink a scene.

In the last few chapters, which I'm writing right now in my upcoming novel Mishandled Conviction, I tie all the loose ends,  bring the story to a satisfying resolution, and give the characters the ending they deserve. I feel good and content when I finish a story, and I want my readers to feel the same way. No cliffhanger, unanswered question, or heartbroken ending. This is probably the part in which I do the less rewriting as I know how I want to end it, but I'm find myself rereading a lot so I don't miss any loose ends.

I enjoy the thrill of starting a new story and the enchantment of weaving a spiderweb, but I always agonize on one sentence. The last one.

I will rewrite that last sentence of that last scene on that last page dozens of times. Just like the first chapter sets the tone of the story, the last few words will resonate in the reader's mind after the story is over.

 

Here are a few "last sentences" I wrote over the last decade:

 

- Cheers erupted in the kitchen as the man who had captured her heart sealed their wonderful future with a passionate kiss.

- Eva and Matt.

- At peace with her past, she basked in the wonderful sensations he awoke, savoring the blissful moment and the promise of a wonderful future.

- Uniting them.

- He answered with a huge bear hug, worthy of a grandfather.

- “I would be delighted.”

- A tender kiss brushed his lips.

- The promise of a wonderful future shone in his eyes—a future that began here tonight.

- Her enduring spirit soared with his, bonding them forever. 

- Smiling, she noted the patient’s vital signs on the chart, and after making sure they didn’t tangle the intravenous line, she left them to dream.

Happy Reading & Stay safe. Many hugs!

JS

 

J. S. Marlo's Website

Curves anyone? by J.S. Marlo

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

For many years, I was a member of Curves, a gym for women only. Back then, I bounced lots of my storylines on my workout friends. The grandmother angle in Unraveled was born during a workout, but that's another story...

As incentive to show up for workouts, we received Curves t-shirts for every milestone we met. First one hundred workouts, five hundred workouts...I got my seven-hundred-and-fifty-workout t-shirt a month before the gym closed. There were also monthly attendance and special events prizes, which were mostly t-shirts. So, no surprise that over the years I collected a lot of t-shirts with the Curves logo on it.

They were nice and well-made t-shirts, so I wore them in many places, not just at the gym, and I  also packed a few in my suitcase when I went on trips. I didn't think the word curves would offend anyone, and I never felt it did. If anyone looked at me funny, it flew right over my head.


Around the same time, one of my Curves friends went to a conference in the United States. I can't remember in which big city they held her conference, but she stayed in a very nice hotel.  One early evening she stood in the lobby wearing a Curves t-shirt, with the word curves positioned over her bosom. She was waiting for someone when an older couple approached her. Then out of the blue, the older woman asked her "How much for the girls?"

My friend just stared in total confusion at the woman who spoke with a strong Eastern European accent, but then it occurred to her  that maybe the meaning of the question got lost in the translation, so she replied with something like "I'm not sure I understand."

The older woman pointed at my friend's bosom. "Your sign says curves.  Where I come from it means hooker. So how much for the girls?"

We couldn't stop laughing when my friend recounted the incident at the gym a week later, but on the spur of the moment, she was flabbergasted then completely mortified to have been mistaken for a hooker or a madam. She just left the lobby and went to her room to change clothes without asking the couple which language they spoke...or for whom they wanted to hire the girls. In hindsight, those would have been interesting questions LOL

To satisfy my own curiosity, I played with Google Translate and found out that in Romanian, curvă means hooker. It was the only European language that came close to meeting the criteria.

I don't know if my friend ever wore that t-shirt again, but I stopped packing clothes with words on them when I go on trips. That being said, one of these days, that incident will end up in one of my novels.

Happy Reading & Stay safe. Many hugs!
JS

 

J. S. Marlo's Website

Green thumb? by J. S. Marlo

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

Many years ago, my daughter asked me to take care of her cactus while she was away for three months. Her only advice was "try to remember to water it a few times before I get back". Well, by the time she returned, it was dead. I truly believe it takes special talent to kill a cactus.


That being said, I love flowers, specially lilacs and lavender. I tried growing lavender...it followed the cactus into the compost bin, but I have five lilac trees around the house that grow four different varieties of flowers from deep purple to pale pink. I started with six trees but one befriended the cactus. Lilacs are low maintenance and hardy, the first quality suits me and the second the  northern area where I live.

Every year I plant some annual flowers and tomatoes. This year, finding flowers or soil was a challenge. With the quarantine and social distancing, it seems everyone decided to start gardening. I still got a few plants but I lost half my tomato plants two weeks ago after they froze to death. My fault...I should have put a blanket over them instead of ignoring the risk of frost warning.


Though not all perennials survive  minus 40 degrees winter or our short growing season, I managed after many failed attempts to find a rose bush that comes back to life every spring. It has pretty red roses and right now it's budding.

I tried planting tulip bulbs, but no matter how many I bury in the fall, only one tulip grows every spring. This year my lone tulip is yellow with a black center.

My biggest successes are probably my poppies. I started with an envelope of red and yellow poppies that someone gave me decades ago. For years, I had red poppies and some yellow ones, then gradually some red poppies became more orange until one day, when amid the yellow, orange, and red grew a single snow white poppy. Since then  I get some white or very light beige/pink poppies every year.

I'll admit I'm fascinated by the genetic changes that occur in my poppies over the years. My thumb may be a little green after all.

Stay safe. Many hugs!
JS

 

J. S. Marlo's Website

Natural Disaster by J. S. Marlo

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

This week has been tough (I'm writing this post on May 2, 2020). It brought back lots of heartbreaking memories.

This weekend is the anniversary of the 2016 wildfire that  devastated Fort McMurray, destroying entire neighborhoods, and forcing the evacuation of more than 80,000 people  in just a few hours. The fire was so intense, it created its own weather system, producing fierce winds and smoke clouds that generated lightning. It cost the life of one person, a young woman who died in a traffic accident as she drove out of town through a curtain of fire. Though the death toll could have been way higher, her death was still one too many.

I flew out on the last plane of the evening before the full evacuation was ordered. It was a fluke as my granddaughter was sick and my daughter needed help. I didn't know I was on the last plane or that the airport would close its commercial flights after we departed.

From the air, I could see the wild fire and the raging flames burning the forest. The fire was later nicknamed The Beast. It looked like a giant open mouth ready to engulf the entire town. At that moment, I was certain I would never come back home. The firefighters had to bulldozer rows of houses in order to create a firebreak. In the end, the fire surrounded the town and many neighborhoods were lost, but they saved the hospital (in blue where the arrow points in flood picture), the water treatment plant, and the other essential buildings, and the town survived. The air quality, which usually runs on a scale of 1 to 10, as 10 being extremely dangerous for your health, was above 40.

The fire started on May 1, 2016, burned out of control until July 5, 2016, and was fully extinguished more than a year later on August 2, 2017. It destroyed 1,456,810 acres of land (roughly 5 times the size of Los Angeles). It took years to rebuild, but we can still see vacant lots where homeowners or businesses just left town without rebuilding. The Covid-19 pandemic was just another bump into our recovery. Many stores closed, but essential services were still open, and there was no shortage of anything (except toilet paper for the first week...which I still don't understand.). People were awesome at social distance and we had  less than twenty cases in the last two months. Then this week happened...

The river broke when it was still cold outside and it created an ice jam of 25 km (15 miles).

On the fourth anniversary of the wildfire of the century, and during the pandemic of the century, we're in the middle of the flood of the century.

The river didn't just overflow, it flowed backward, which was something the elders had never seen, submerging neighborhoods that had never seen any flood water since their creation a century ago. Some of the neighborhoods under water were the same ones that were destroyed by the fire. Some people lost their houses again, houses they'd just finished rebuilding, More than 13,000 people had to be evacuated and re-lodged wherever they could in town. Social distancing went down the river. Water turned brownish and we're under a boiling water advisory that won't be lifted until September 2020.  And most of the stores that were still open went under water.

Amid all this, my family is among the lucky ones. My home survived the fire and the flood, and my husband didn't lose his job. The ice jam broke yesterday and the water receded. Again we lost one person, one too many. Today the destruction will be assessed and the cleaning will start. As a community, we will survive, but it will be another big scar over the huge one that had just barely begun to heal.

It's scary how destructive nature can be, but it's also amazing how resilient people can be, and how such tragedies can bring out the best in all of us.

Stay safe. Many hugs!
JS

 

J. S. Marlo's Website