I used to be an only dog. I remember those days. Life was
good. Mine was the only food bowl on the floor. All the toys in the toy box
were mine. No other belly vied for attention when I rolled over on my back. The
last bite rule applied only to me. (The last bite of food any of my humans were
eating, I mean. You know, that last bite of anything that tastes so good? The
rule that it belongs to the dog, no matter how hungry the human is? Wanted to clarify that, didn’t want y’all to
think I was the one doing any
biting.
I would
never!) At least, I think I
remember those days. It was so long ago.
I’m Max, by the way. Max Branan. There’re eight humans in my
family, Mama and Daddy of course—y’all know her as Gail Roughton ‘cause she
writes under her maiden name, says it’s her love song to her daddy or some such—my
human sister, Becca, my human brothers Lee and Patrick, Becca’s husband Jason,
and Becca and Jason’s puppies, Austin and Kinsley. See, my birth Mom lived with
Becca and Jason and got herself in the family way. Becca didn’t believe it at
first because she said her dog didn’t do things like that. As if. What’d she
think my Mom was? A doggy saint? Anyway,
all my puppy brothers and sisters got new homes but I’m the one who lucked out,
‘cause Patrick picked me out of all ‘em
to bring back to Home Central.
Patrick did a search and told Mama that Max was the most
popular name for male dogs and Maya the most popular name for female dogs, but
that’s not why my name’s Max, un-uh. My name’s Max because about three days
after Patrick got me vaccinated up with all the puppy shot prelims at the vet’s
office and brought me home from Becca and Jason’s house I got sick. Real sick. So back to the vet I went and
they said I had that parvo thing. With a fifty-fifty shot of making it out of
the vet hospital alive. But I’m tough. I made it through with flying colors. And
when I went back home, Mama (that’s Gail Roughton to y’all) said I looked as
pitiful as the Grinch’s dog Max on the cartoon version of The Grinch That Stole Christmas. So that’s why I’m Max. No
popularity contest or anything involved. And boy, did they spoil me rotten or what?
So there I am. Dog heaven. I was about three, I guess. And then
Jason found this stray on the side of the road. He thought she was a German
Shepherd and probably a couple of months old. So he took her home. At first
Becca thought it’d be great to have a German Shepherd for their baby – Austin
wasn’t born yet, he came about two weeks after that – since my humans used to
have a big white German Shepherd they still talked about. Only problem was,
this gal liked to eat furniture. And she was scared of her own shadow and
didn’t know the meaning of the words “house-broke”. Well, Mama’s such a soft
touch. She took one look at her and then sent Patrick over to collect her. He
named her Maya. To go with Max. Not so much because it’s the most popular
female dog name as for the “M” thing.
And uh – by the way – German Shepherd, my wagging tail. As
near full Doberman as makes no never mind. Mama and Patrick knew it first time
they looked at her. The undocked tail and ears made everybody else hard to
convince, until they saw a Dobie with undocked tail and ears on Animal Planet. Then
they all yelled in amazement, “Hey! Maya’s a Dobie?!” Mama and Patrick just
rolled their eyes. She was already as tall as my stomach when she first walked
in the door and I ain’t no shrinking violet, I’m a fifty-five pounder myself. The
vet really blew it, too. Told my folks she’d be about fifty pounds full grown. Try
110 pounds last weigh-in. Maya’s Mama’s shadow. And I got to confess, yeah, I
fell in love too. Eventually. Oh, no hanky-panky or anything, both Maya and I
have made that trip to the vet, but yeah, I love the girl. Mainly because
Austin was born two weeks after Maya got to Home Central. And I liked the
little bundle of screams and wet diapers, don’t get me wrong, but Maya? Oh,
man, she fell in love. Took all my share of the eye pokes and pulled tail. All
I had to do was walk up and lick his face every now and then. That kid grew up
laying on her, sitting on her, standing on her. She loved it all. We got him
grown to darn near human size and what did Becca do? She brought in a brand-new
one and the whole thing started all over again. Though I got to admit, that
Kinsley’s a pistol. Her “Hiya!’ makes my tail wag, I just can’t stop myself.
Only thing about Maya is – you got to watch the sudden
noises. Mama knocked a kitchen chair across the floor once when she was
sweeping. And Maya – man, she moved like lightening. Next thing I know, she’s
sitting on Daddy’s lap on the sofa, all hundred plus pounds of her, with her arms wrapped around his neck! She looked
just like that Scooby-Doo character when he gets scared and jumps in Shaggy’s
arms, you know?
And then one Saturday night when Austin was about two,
Patrick came home from work and called Daddy out to his truck. Now, that was
weird, right there, man, ‘cause in this
family, when anything’s wrong, you call Mama first. But I figured maybe his
truck engine was making a strange noise or something. Not. Daddy walked back in
and announced, “Patrick’s brought home a puppy.” Mama goes “For
real?!” And Daddy says, “Oh, yeah. Says
he was sitting by his truck in the parking lot when he got off work. ” So
Patrick walks in with this little – and I mean
little – bundle of black and white fur and sits it on the couch by
Austin. Austin says, “Baby!” Funny, he was only two, but he knew that was a
baby. Must be some universal baby language. Lee looked at Mama and said, “Did
it ever occur to you that there’s
always
a baby
something or other in this
house?” Mama looked pitiful and said, “Oh, yeah.”
Poor Mama. She got another shadow with that boy. Patrick
named him Murphy. Gotta keep that “M” thing going. He weighed maybe four pounds
but he thought he was a Great Dane. He didn’t bother me that much, all I had to
do was growl real low and he’d back off but Maya? Guess you can’t beat the
mother instinct. He was
all over her.
All the time. Don’t know how that gal kept her sanity, if Austin wasn’t
climbing all over her, Murphy was. Sometimes both of ‘em together. And feisty? That
Murphy, he gets going, you’ll swear you need to call an Exorcist from the
sounds coming out of his mouth! He’s topped out at twenty-two pounds, so he’s
way the smallest of us, but dang, is he annoying sometimes! You can’t even lay
your head on a pillow! And he’s always all
over
Maya!
Now, as a side note, I heard Mama tell Daddy, “Patrick
conveniently forgot about showing me a picture of a friend’s litter of puppies
on FaceBook a few weeks ago. Funny, how they were all little black and white
bundles of fur, just like Murphy. Found him in the parking lot, right! In a box
with a friend standing guard till Patrick got there!”
So there you have it. How I went from an only dog to a trio.
But it’s not so bad most times. I guess it’d be pretty boring if I just had my
humans. Like at Christmas, it’s kinda nice to have the two of ‘em in the middle
of things with me. Gets kinda irritating, that last bite of food having to be
split into three bites all the time, but still. Keeps me young. Hey Murphy!! Wait
up!! That’s
my stuffed squirrel and I
don’t have all the stuffing out yet!!! Oh! And before I forget, you can check out Mama here--
http://bookswelove.net/roughton.php She's on the computer a lot, and I'm told I and the rest of the gang might make an appearance in an upcoming book she's got brewing. Which would only be fair, I mean, we put a lot of effort into distracting her when she's been working too hard.