While
going through some old writing files, I came across this meandering essay and
thought I’d share.
Soap Bubble Rhetoric
Reading
my latest copy of a writer’s magazine reminds me I haven’t written anything for
quite a while. Anything does not
include bill paying, completing rebate forms and make grocery lists.
Oh, I have lots of ideas. That’s why
I’m writing on top of the washer instead of folding clothes. Regardless of the
fact I punched the hot button for a load of bright colors, when an idea bubbles
forth, I grab a pen.
As an educator, I have developed numerous
ideas and activities that mu students love, so I have been sending queries to
educational publishing companies and periodicals. But alas, I can decorate the
laundry room with rejections slips. The most ingenious states, “due to a paper
shortage, we must return your manuscript.”
Why is there never a laundry
shortage?
While I may run out of stain
remover, I always have another publishing company on my list. So I begin again.
Some of my articles have been accepted, but I haven’t gotten paid in the
traditional cash method. Many educational journals are forums for professional
advancement and writers contribute articles in return for a byline and a few
contributors’ copies. While that is fine up to a point, I’ve found it
difficult, if not embarrassing, to pay my grocery bill with a copy of my latest
published article:
“Oh, you got published (finally).
That will be $41.50 please.”
Now I shouldn’t be wishy-washy. In
addition to contributor’s copies, some educational publications do pay contributors
in merchandise. But have you ever tried to use an apron that says, “Teachers
are neat” to barter for bleach?
I pour fabric softener in for the
next load and a fantastic idea materializes. I realize I’m writing for the
wrong market. Instead of submitting to educational publications, perhaps I can
interest soap manufacturers in putting little activities on the sides of their
soapboxes to keep kids busy at the Laundromat. Little Bobby can help mom pour soap
into the washer and get fun games like “How many words can you make out of Proctor
& Gamble?” or a word search for items of clothing washed only in cold
water.
I could create entertaining stories
as inserts for detergent boxes with titles like “Soap Bubbles Whisk Grass
Stains in Water Polo Finals,” or “Detergent Detectives Collar the Dirt Ring.”
My hands negligently fold socks as I
mentally assemble my next dirt fighting, biodegradable creative effort. The
washer gyrates in the background, unaware of my neglect as my mind floats away
on a soap bubble.
Barbara Baldwin
Don’t
forget to visit the Books We Love website at http://www.bookswelove.com/ for
their March contest. Find 4 leprechauns on the authors’ pages, submit their
names and win some great prizes! Contest is open until March 17.
