Opening Lines

 

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            I recently started reading a book; put it aside; picked it up to continue then put it aside again. Why? The first 2 chapters (one each for the hero and heroine) were about the two main characters – all their angst, regrets, problems and troubles. It was their thoughts and reflections with the only action being that they were thinking and reflecting while eating or driving. This sounds harsh, but too much information at the beginning of a story can very easily cause a reader to stop reading altogether. Yes, the information is needed, but throwing it all into the first chapters is sometimes called an “information dump” and is not always the best way to start a story. The fact that the 2 main characters don’t meet or interact in any way until well after page 80 was another problem for me, especially considering this was a contemporary romance.

Industry standards for fiction writing have changed over the years and there are probably not hard and fast rules as to what a writer must do and there are as many ways to start a book as there are books written. Oftentimes, historicals have more background and descriptions before getting into the actual story. I know that I write differently when creating an historical than when I’m doing a contemporary. There is usually a slower flow to the scenes and more detail.

My question is – what pulls you into a book from the get-go? Is it a long idyllic description of the setting? Is it a monologue by the main character of all he/she hopes for as he/she looks longingly in the mirror? Is it a first sentence or paragraph that drops you right into the middle of the action? Take a look at the following opening lines and paragraphs from 5 different books.

1.         1. “Stop! Thief!” (Snowflakes and Kisses)

2.     2. “You can’t take my kin,” Joe shouted, struggling against the deputy who had pinned his arms behind his back. (Tenderhearted Cowboy)

3.   3.   “Suicide,” Michael Grant stated in a flat voice as he stared at the cold body on the warehouse floor. (Love in Disguise)

4. To whoever finds this journal: I started out this rainy November morning in 1988 as an archeology intern uncovering sunken treasure from the Steamboat Arabia, but due to circumstances I don’t understand, at the end of the day I found myself on board the Arabia, back in 1856, the year it sank. (Hold on to the Past)
5. Cheyenne stepped onto the boardwalk outside the Bed & Breakfast and slipped on her sunglasses to cut the glare of the late morning light. The only redemption from the hot July sun was the breeze blowing off the nearby bay. She sighed. She wasn’t here to enjoy the pristine beach and crystal blue water of the small tourist town. She was on a mission and today she would run her quarry to ground, if she had to burn down every tavern in a two mile radius. (Prelude and Promises)

        First let me say these are opening lines from 5 of my books. Given I have over twenty published books and I am only sharing five openings, it is safe to say that I might not always follow my own advice as to how to start a book. (Some of the 20 are historical and time travels so I plead paragraph 2 above.) Some of my stories take a little more than a paragraph to get in gear and there’s nothing wrong with that. But here’s the thing. I once cut an entire opening chapter (as my heart bled because it was good writing) for the simple reason that it did nothing to get the story going. It was background – important information – but not as necessary at the beginning of the story as I originally thought. That didn’t make it any easier to delete. Some writers will tell you “edit” is a 4-letter swear word, especially after you’ve spent hours and gallons of coffee constructing that one page.

I like to read books that quickly put me into the middle of the action, and so those are the types of books I try to write. That’s what happened with my newest holiday romance, so I leave you with the first few pages:

“Stop! Thief!”

Rem jerked upright from tying his shoe and saw Mrs. Peacock drop to a bench against the wall as a youngster grabbed her grocery bag and darted down the sidewalk. He took off and caught him by the collar within half a block, jerking him around.

“Robbie Jenkins, what the hell?” The kid was a local; a good kid as far as he knew and never in trouble of any kind. Grabbing him in a head lock, he dragged him back to where the older lady still sat.

“Are you all right, Mrs. Peacock?” he asked, easily keeping a squirming Robbie locked against his side.

She turned to look at him in surprise, then quickly glanced straight ahead. “I’m…I’m fine, Sheriff,” she said loudly. “He may have gotten my groceries, but he didn’t nab my tickets to the Winter Festival!” She held up two cardboard tickets, grinning somewhere off to his left.

“Cut! That’s a wrap!” A voice hollered from across the narrow thoroughfare.

Rem stood on the sidewalk, Mrs. Peacock grinning like a loon and Robbie struggling to get free. As he tried to process the scene, Gwendolyn, his twin sister, hurried across the street.

“Oh my gosh. That was totally unscripted but so much better than I could have written,” Gwen exclaimed when she stepped onto the sidewalk. Behind his sister stood a man with a camera and a couple of other people he didn’t recognize.

 “Let him go, Rem,” Gwen said, tugging on his arm.

He kept his grip on Robbie. “He took Mrs. Peacock’s groceries,” he said but even as he spoke, he didn’t sound very convincing. His sister laughed and the others joined in. Rem could feel his face heat.

“We’re making a marketing video,” his sister said with a sigh. “Now let him go.”

Rem looked back at Mrs. Peacock who slowly nodded in agreement, a smile on her wrinkled face.

“Did I get my lines right, Gwendolyn, dear?” she asked sweetly.

“You were awesome,” Gwen answered before turning back to Rem with a brow raised.

He slowly released Robbie but latched onto his sister’s arm instead. None too gently, he tugged her away from the rest of the people clustered in front of Nobbie’s Grocery.

“What the hell, Gwen?” He spun her to face him.

“Seriously, Rem, with all your literary skills, can’t you come up with something more original?”

“Don’t push me, Gwendolyn Elizabeth Matthews. Spill it.” His twin had been the bane of his existence for thirty years and that didn’t appear to be changing anytime soon.

She pulled her stocking cap off and shook out her hair, the black curls swaying around her face. It was like looking into a mirror except for the length of her hair. The same green eyes stared back at him, the same straight nose and high cheekbones defined their Irish heritage although her features were somewhat softer than his. Unfortunately, the same stubborn chin rose in defiance.

“You know you can’t bully me, Rem, even if you are the sheriff and even less because you’re my brother. We were shooting a video for the community calendar to advertise the Winter Festival.” As head of the Chamber of Commerce, his sister went overboard sometimes to put Cherrywood on the map.

He rubbed a hand over his face. “You could have told me. I thought we were having an actually robbery.”

“Hungry for a little action?” She grinned at him and the last of the tension slid away. He had to admit being sheriff, albeit part time, in the sleepy little town of Cherrywood didn’t lead to many bragging rights at the national law enforcement conventions. The entire town had only a few thousand people; more in the summer as it was a hot beach destination on the east coast.

However, once the first frost came, the tourists left and residents hunkered down for the winter. Now that December had arrived, the wind off the Long Island Sound often blew bitterly cold. So far this winter, the snow accumulation promised a brisk business for the Winter Festival with all the activities the town had planned.

“Delete that video,” he ordered as he tugged his stocking cap over his ears and turned to finally start his daily run.

“No way,” his sister called behind his back. “Don’t forget to stop at the office and sign a release.” Her laughter followed him down the street.

***

I hope you’ll join Rem, Gwen and the residents of Cherrywood for a fun filled, very festive holiday season in my newest romance – “Snowflakes and Kisses”. Erin Thomas has already made her reservation and while she’s looking forward to all the holiday activities, she has no idea of the surprises awaiting her. Available now at https://bookswelove.net/baldwin-barbara/

            Also for the holiday season, Books We Love is having a weekly give-away now through December 15. You can easily enter at https://bookswelove.net for a chance to win a free holiday eBook (mine included) and a chance to win an eBook reader. Books We Love knows how much you love books and we want to help spread the cheer.

All Best Wishes,

Barb

http://www.authorsden.com/barbarajbaldwin

https://bookswelove.net/baldwin-barbara/