I recently started reading a book;
put it aside; picked it up to continue then put it aside again. Why? The first
2 chapters (one each for the hero and heroine) were about the two main
characters – all their angst, regrets, problems and troubles. It was their
thoughts and reflections with the only action being that they were thinking and
reflecting while eating or driving. This sounds harsh, but too much information
at the beginning of a story can very easily cause a reader to stop reading altogether.
Yes, the information is needed, but throwing it all into the first chapters is
sometimes called an “information dump” and is not always the best way to start
a story. The fact that the 2 main characters don’t meet or interact in any way
until well after page 80 was another problem for me, especially considering
this was a contemporary romance.
Industry
standards for fiction writing have changed over the years and there are
probably not hard and fast rules as to what a writer must do and there are as
many ways to start a book as there are books written. Oftentimes, historicals
have more background and descriptions before getting into the actual story. I
know that I write differently when creating an historical than when I’m doing a
contemporary. There is usually a slower flow to the scenes and more detail.
My
question is – what pulls you into a book from the get-go? Is it a long idyllic
description of the setting? Is it a monologue by the main character of all
he/she hopes for as he/she looks longingly in the mirror? Is it a first
sentence or paragraph that drops you right into the middle of the action? Take
a look at the following opening lines and paragraphs from 5 different books.
1. 1.
“Stop!
Thief!” (Snowflakes and Kisses)
2. 2. “You
can’t take my kin,” Joe shouted, struggling against the deputy who had pinned
his arms behind his back. (Tenderhearted
Cowboy)
3. 3. “Suicide,”
Michael Grant stated in a flat voice as he stared at the cold body on the
warehouse floor. (Love in Disguise)
- To whoever finds
this journal: I started out this rainy November morning in 1988 as an
archeology intern uncovering sunken treasure from the Steamboat Arabia,
but due to circumstances I don’t understand, at the end of the day I found
myself on board the Arabia, back in 1856, the year it sank. (Hold
on to the Past)
- Cheyenne stepped onto the boardwalk outside the
Bed & Breakfast and slipped on her sunglasses to cut the glare of the
late morning light. The only redemption from the hot July sun was the
breeze blowing off the nearby bay. She sighed. She wasn’t here to enjoy
the pristine beach and crystal blue water of the small tourist town. She
was on a mission and today she would run her quarry to ground, if she had
to burn down every tavern in a two mile radius. (Prelude and Promises)
First
let me say these are opening lines from 5 of my books. Given I have over twenty
published books and I am only sharing five openings, it is safe to say that I
might not always follow my own advice as to how to start a book. (Some of the
20 are historical and time travels so I plead paragraph 2 above.) Some of my
stories take a little more than a paragraph to get in gear and there’s nothing
wrong with that. But here’s the thing. I once cut an entire opening chapter (as
my heart bled because it was good writing) for the simple reason that it did
nothing to get the story going. It was background – important information – but
not as necessary at the beginning of the story as I originally thought. That
didn’t make it any easier to delete. Some writers will tell you “edit” is a 4-letter
swear word, especially after you’ve spent hours and gallons of coffee
constructing that one page.
I like to read books that quickly
put me into the middle of the action, and so those are the types of books I try
to write. That’s what happened with my newest holiday romance, so I leave you
with the first few pages:
“Stop!
Thief!”
Rem
jerked upright from tying his shoe and saw Mrs. Peacock drop to a bench against
the wall as a youngster grabbed her grocery bag and darted down the sidewalk.
He took off and caught him by the collar within half a block, jerking him
around.
“Robbie
Jenkins, what the hell?” The kid was a local; a good kid as far as he knew and
never in trouble of any kind. Grabbing him in a head lock, he dragged him back
to where the older lady still sat.
“Are
you all right, Mrs. Peacock?” he asked, easily keeping a squirming Robbie
locked against his side.
She
turned to look at him in surprise, then quickly glanced straight ahead.
“I’m…I’m fine, Sheriff,” she said loudly. “He may have gotten my groceries, but
he didn’t nab my tickets to the Winter Festival!” She held up two cardboard
tickets, grinning somewhere off to his left.
“Cut!
That’s a wrap!” A voice hollered from across the narrow thoroughfare.
Rem
stood on the sidewalk, Mrs. Peacock grinning like a loon and Robbie struggling
to get free. As he tried to process the scene, Gwendolyn, his twin sister,
hurried across the street.
“Oh
my gosh. That was totally unscripted but so much better than I could have written,”
Gwen exclaimed when she stepped onto the sidewalk. Behind his sister stood a
man with a camera and a couple of other people he didn’t recognize.
“Let him go, Rem,” Gwen said, tugging on his
arm.
He
kept his grip on Robbie. “He took Mrs. Peacock’s groceries,” he said but even
as he spoke, he didn’t sound very convincing. His sister laughed and the others
joined in. Rem could feel his face heat.
“We’re
making a marketing video,” his sister said with a sigh. “Now let him go.”
Rem
looked back at Mrs. Peacock who slowly nodded in agreement, a smile on her
wrinkled face.
“Did
I get my lines right, Gwendolyn, dear?” she asked sweetly.
“You
were awesome,” Gwen answered before turning back to Rem with a brow raised.
He
slowly released Robbie but latched onto his sister’s arm instead. None too
gently, he tugged her away from the rest of the people clustered in front of
Nobbie’s Grocery.
“What
the hell, Gwen?” He spun her to face him.
“Seriously,
Rem, with all your literary skills, can’t you come up with something more
original?”
“Don’t
push me, Gwendolyn Elizabeth Matthews. Spill it.” His twin had been the bane of
his existence for thirty years and that didn’t appear to be changing anytime
soon.
She
pulled her stocking cap off and shook out her hair, the black curls swaying
around her face. It was like looking into a mirror except for the length of her
hair. The same green eyes stared back at him, the same straight nose and high
cheekbones defined their Irish heritage although her features were somewhat
softer than his. Unfortunately, the same stubborn chin rose in defiance.
“You
know you can’t bully me, Rem, even if you are the sheriff and even less because
you’re my brother. We were shooting a video for the community calendar to
advertise the Winter Festival.” As head of the Chamber of Commerce, his sister
went overboard sometimes to put Cherrywood on the map.
He
rubbed a hand over his face. “You could have told me. I thought we were having
an actually robbery.”
“Hungry
for a little action?” She grinned at him and the last of the tension slid away.
He had to admit being sheriff, albeit part time, in the sleepy little town of
Cherrywood didn’t lead to many bragging rights at the national law enforcement
conventions. The entire town had only a few thousand people; more in the summer
as it was a hot beach destination on the east coast.
However,
once the first frost came, the tourists left and residents hunkered down for
the winter. Now that December had arrived, the wind off the Long Island Sound
often blew bitterly cold. So far this winter, the snow accumulation promised a
brisk business for the Winter Festival with all the activities the town had
planned.
“Delete
that video,” he ordered as he tugged his stocking cap over his ears and turned
to finally start his daily run.
“No
way,” his sister called behind his back. “Don’t forget to stop at the office
and sign a release.” Her laughter followed him down the street.
***
I hope you’ll join Rem, Gwen and the
residents of Cherrywood for a fun filled, very festive holiday season in my
newest romance – “Snowflakes and Kisses”. Erin Thomas has already made her
reservation and while she’s looking forward to all the holiday activities, she
has no idea of the surprises awaiting her. Available now at https://bookswelove.net/baldwin-barbara/
Also for the holiday season, Books
We Love is having a weekly give-away now through December 15. You can easily
enter at https://bookswelove.net for a
chance to win a free holiday eBook (mine included) and a chance to win an eBook
reader. Books We Love knows how much you love books and we want to help spread
the cheer.
All
Best Wishes,
Barb
http://www.authorsden.com/barbarajbaldwin
https://bookswelove.net/baldwin-barbara/