Most of us use apps—those digital applications, downloaded on our
cellphones, to help us order a pizza from our favorite fast-food joint, track
appointments or manage our finances. The
number and variety of apps have mushroomed over the past decade. Many of them
are useful, such as the one from your local transit department which lets you
when the next bus is coming. Others, however, are only mildly useful, and a
few, truly bizarre. Here, then, are ten apps that will leave you shaking your
head:
1) Nothing. Yes, Nothing. You press the
Nothing icon on your phone and nothing happens. Nothing is free, but a
premium version (which still does nothing) costs a whopping $0.99.
2) Hold On. As the name implies, the
idea is to keep pushing down on the app for as long as you can. A little timer
pops up and lets you know how long you’ve been holding on. But, Why?
3) I am Rich. Designed for rich people to
make them feel good about how much money they have. At $400 a pop, I am Rich
is definitely not for the poor.
4) Fake Conversation. Ever
want to desperately leave a boring meeting or a bad date? Fake Conversation
will send you a fake phone call from a doctor, layer or even a magazine editor.
The app will tell you what to say; you repeat it, and everyone around will be
convinced you have a real emergency on your hands.
5) Ghost EMP Meter. Yup. Your smartphone will
sniff out pesky spirits and lingering apparitions. Note: It may not work if
your smartphone itself is demon-possessed.
6) Drunk Dial NO. This actually may be
useful. The app allows you to enter the phone numbers of people you should not
call when drunk (think: your ex or your boss.) It will hide those numbers for a
period of forty-eight hours, long enough for your sober side to reassert
itself.
7) Binky. For totally random people. Binky
will send you an endless stream of completely unconnected random stuff which
you can browse or resend. Being totally pointless, it faithfully reflects the
entire digital experience.
8) $1,000,000. The app loads images of
currency (in denominations of $50 or $100) which you can count by swiping on
the screen. You won’t become rich, but your fingers will feel the pleasant
tiredness a real millionaire experiences when counting his money.
9) Lick the Icicle. The app shows an icicle on
your smartphone. As you start licking it, the icicle starts melting. At this
point, it’s uncertain if your tongue will stick to your smartphone if you stop
licking.
10) Places I have Pooped. As the
name implies, this app allows you to map every place where you have answered
the call of nature. Rather than humans, it is probably more useful in helping
dogs and cats mark their territories. Use your phone to help your pooch to play
Places I have Pooped.
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