A few years back, I queried HQ on a short, historical story that I considered 'spicy.' I thought I was writing something really hot by using a few 'buzz' words here and there and trying to come up with something creative. When I shared the finished product with my friend, Phyllis, who IS the Queen of Steam, she loved the story but said it wouldn't fly for the line I targeted. I know why!
It's hard to be inventive. I realize there's a lot of ME in each of my stories, and I don't feel the least bit sexy...for reasons described on my own blog numerous times. If I truly wrote what my mind sees when I think about sex scenes, I highly doubt anyone would be swept away to anything but hysteria.
Here's an example:
Moonlight filtered through the venetian blinds and highlighted him as he disrobed. He pulled his shirt over his head, then shimmied out of his pants.
Her breath hitched. When had his stomach gotten so huge?
OR
His lips trailed upward, warming her neck. He nibbled at her earlobe then arched back and gazed upon her face. His mouth, a few inches from hers, he licked his lips and drew closer.
She recoiled and rolled away. "Geez, I told you not to have onions on that burger. You reek."
OR
He entered her with a quick thrust. She gasped, feeling a sensation all too familiar. "God, get off me. Quick! I have a Charlie Horse in my left leg!"
OR...last but not least....
Tonight was the night he'd waited for. They hadn't made love for a month, and he was determined to make up for lost time. Maybe more romance was needed. He hadn't been all that passionate or attentive of late. The moment was right. The children were gone for the weekend and except for the two of them, the place was empty. Only the flickering TV lit the room. He slithered off the couch and crawled toward her chair. She appeared deep in thought, lost in the movie she watched. He inched closer and, reaching her side, took her hand.
She jumped, then smiled. "What are you doing down there?"
"Come on." He raised to one knee and searched for a sexy tone. "Come to bed with me. I want to show you how much I love you."
She unfurled one leg from beneath her and placed a foot on the floor. Tears glistened in her eyes as she offered her hand.
He clasped palms with her and attempted to stand. A popping noise sliced the momentary silence between commercials. "Ow...my back!" He managed to get to his feet, but remained bent at the waist. With pain etched on his face, he hobbled to the couch and collapsed.
"I guess we'll have to wait."
She blotted her tears. "That's okay. My other leg's asleep and I can't get up anyhow."
****
I think I'll stick to what I know I can do and leave the erotic and steamy writing to those who can handle it without laughing. *lol*
Note: This is something I shared on my own blog back in 2008, so if you're one of the three people who viewed it...just consider it a TV re-run, something we're all used to seeing. Welcome to Books We Love. The title of the site says it all. I hope you'll check my BWL author's page and see if either or both of my books tickle your fancy. Thanks for stopping by.
Showing posts with label Getting Real. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Getting Real. Show all posts
Monday, March 12, 2012
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