A Little Self Love for a Writer

Recently I edited a book written by an 82 year old man who has lived an incredible life. I can't wait to attend his book launch in April. One of the underlying themes of his story - his life story - was how he lived with the fear he was never good enough. This from a man who has amazing insights and has done amazing things in the world of Canadian dance and choreography.

So who am I compared to this extraordinary man?
First of all, I've stopped comparing myself to other people. Other writers.
I will never be like them.
I am me.

I have written many books.
I have published seven novels and submitted one more for publication.
I was a part of several anthologies.
I have published short stories in magazines.
All along, I knew all this in the back of my mind, but I've never let myself ENJOY my successes. I've always completed one project then bounced onto the next one with the drive to do more. To PROVE myself.

Prove myself to who?
To everyone in my life who ever said, "That's nice, but you should be a..."
To the guy who told me to give up and get a real job.
To the voices deep inside of me that's always told me, "You're not good enough," "You'll never get published," "You'll never be able to write full time."
Fear tells me all those things are true.
Logic dictates I keep the full-time job but write for the joy of it.

The writer in me says:

1. write
2. publish
3. take editing jobs
4. do a bit of freelance writing
5. marketing, marketing, marketing
6. surround myself with the positive - both people and inspiration

So what does a writer do to stay positive and not let the voices get her down?

1. Join a writing group. I've been a part of one for twelve years.
2. Join groups that will help with book exposure, events, information and recognition. I've joined the Crime Writers of Canada as well as Writers Community of York Region.
3. Send books to local libraries to get my name out and offer to do events.
4. Have books available in local bookstores.
5. Have an online presence.
6. Find people to review your books and host you on blogs.

So where to start? Take a deep breath, make a list, and take one baby step at a time.

Keep on reading and post a review for the books you love!

Diane Bator

Author of Wild Blue Mysteries & Gilda Wright Mysteries

Introducing:   Book4: The Painted Lady

The pieces of Christina Davidson's life have built up into place over the past few months, despite the one last secret she's trying hard to hide. When Leo Blue returns to town, then people from her past turn up, her carefully constructed walls begin to crumble and the only people who can help her now are the men of the Wild Blue Detective Agency.

Leo Blue can't escape Packham nor the life of a private detective no matter how hard he tries. Six months after the murder of artist DJ Gage, the prices of Gage's paintings soar. When a woman winds up dead and a forgery is discovered in the local art gallery, Leo has to find a murderer and a forger.

Getting Emotional in Writing

Yesterday I had a friend (who is also a fan!) tell me how much she loved my books except for one thing - they're too short! An avid reader, she went on to say how she got so caught up in my characters and the story that she couldn't put the book down and was disappointed when it ended.

Way back in a high school psychology class, I had to write a paper on the central nervous system versus the peripheral nervous system and used writing as an example of how to describe each. I use my brain, a part of the central nervous system, to create the work. When I re-read and edit, I use my peripheral nervous system since my hands sweat, my heart beats faster, and my body twitches in response to what I have read. This allows me to build a scene as though I am the character I've written and make the story more real to my readers.

As a writer, I also get caught up in the emotions of my scenes and characters. My palms would sweat when I wrote about Lucy and her ex-husband's relationship in The Mystery Lady as well about Katie's life with Maddox in The Bookstore Lady:

She’d never awakened in a motel room alone and naked before. Someone had always taken her home. Usually Maddox. She pushed that thought out of her head and splashed water on her face. In the mirror, her skin seemed almost green in the bad lighting. Someone had beaten her, probably Maddox, judging from the bruise on her cheek and the cut on her lower lip. Probably from the diamond he wore on his pinky.

Beside the toilet, bright blue fabric speckled with purple spots along the hem hung over the shower rod. Her favorite dress. The one she wore yesterday. At least she thought it was yesterday. She fingered the spots and fought off a wave of dizziness.

Blood stains. Whose blood?

 

In The Mystery Lady, Lucy becomes paranoid when she spots a car parked on her street for several days then strange men in her neighbourhood. Her concern for the well-being of she and her children actually left me a bit on edge and I found myself peering out the window a few times as well!

 Roger always said she’d make a good writer because she was such a drama queen, but maybe she was a drama queen because she was a writer. In truth, her mood was more about Roger and her deep down reluctance to let her kids go with him for the week. Normally, she’d probably have a hard time staying mad at someone like Clancy.

“Look, sweetheart.” He chuckled. “You go back to whatever it is you do all day and have fun with your kids. I’ll pad my tools with bubble wrap so you can relax.”

 “You are such a jerk.” She snapped.

“That’s quite an observation considering you just met me. Maybe you should give me a chance to actually be a jerk before you accuse me of such a heinous crime.” He toyed with a wrench.

Fondled? Stroked? Darn her writer’s brain. What was wrong with her? Lucy blew out a frustrated breath then rolled her eyes and stomped away. “Men.”

 

One of my favourite characters in the Wild Blue Mysteries series is Leo Blue. I find it easy to put myself in his place to see what he sees and think what he thinks. Leo looks at life a little differently than most, which makes him a lot of fun to write and  great foil for Danny since he will say and do pretty much whatever he wants.

The scenes with Leo and Christina in The Bakery Lady were some of my favourite (and steamiest!) to write. I allowed my emotions to run wild and tried to take inventory as I wrote to capture the moment as realistically as I could. In fact, one of the best ways for me to develop a scene, is to write a rough draft then go back and "feel" the emotions and "live" the scene in my head. Here's one example:

Leo clenched his hands at his sides to keep from reaching out to push back the damp hairs off her neck for a better view of the butterfly. “You’re right, she is cute. And funny.”

She spun around and knocked a steel bowl full of cookie cutters off the counter. The bowl clanged on the painted concrete floor and rolled toward the oven while the cookie cutters clattered to the white tile floor. Her freckled elfin face was dusted with flour, some of which rose off her lips as she huffed. When she glared at Clancy, her eyes reminded Leo of the slate gray-green Himalayan Mountains at sunset. Her red lips shone like the juicy flesh of a watermelon. He’d forgotten how much he liked watermelon.

 

 I find that the more I write, the more emotional my writing becomes as I become more connected to my characters and learn more about them. Currently, I am working on a new book in the series, The Painted Lady, which should be ready for release in 2017.

 All three of my Wild Blue Mysteries are available through Amazon & Books We Love as well as at Coles/Chapters/Indigo in Canada by special order!

Setting The Scene with Diane Bator

In writing the Wild Blue Mystery novels, I've had to make sure to keep the settings close in mind. I've even gone so far as to make a map of the stores and homes in my fictional town of Packham for my own sanity as I go from novel to novel. So far, I've written three novels and have two more in the works so I have a lot of locations to keep track of. Places like Daisy's Bakery, the tattoo shop, Java Jo's, all have to be consistent with each book in the series.

Currently, I'm juggling three book series with different publishers, so keeping each new town distinct and organized is no small feat!

The Wild Blue series features two main towns:  Packham and Newville. Both locations are in the Northeastern US. One is a small town, one a larger city. Both are central to a few of my main characters.

One of my favorite books to research for the series was The Bakery Lady. Not only did I have to learn more about the bakery itself, but just happened to see a show one night about Andy Warhol who became my inspiration for artist D.J. Gage and his studio loft, painted silver and decorated with Warhol in mind...including the famous red couch.

The small Ontario town I currently live in was my inspiration for the town of Packham, right down to Father Sam's front yard with the Virgin Mary statue and the Presbyterian church with the amazing stained glass windows that Katie walks past. The bookstore Katie eventually owns was also based on a local indie bookstore that I love to haunt, right down to the staircase to the upper level. I've even held book events there and look forward to planning a new one now that all my Wild Blue books are in print, but that's a whole other blog!

 

So, if I live in Canada and have used my town as a backdrop for my novels, why did I chose to set the series across the border? Easy answer:  on the advice of a fellow writer who did the same thing on some advice he received. It's working for me so far, but I would like to set a series in Canada once all my current obligations are met...two books for the Wild Blue Mysteries series and an undetermined amount for my other two series. 

I do hope you check out my Author Page on the Books We Love website as well as on Amazon and my personal website Pens, Paints and Paper.

Enough Thinking Already!!

My boss, a fourth degree black belt and my Sensei, is always coming up with new ideas and new projects to work on - for both of us. The other day he told me a story about someone shaking their head at him and asking him how all his ideas came to him. His reply was, "That's easy. I don't think about them. Whenever I stop thinking, that's when the ideas come." That struck a chord with me.

I've had so many friends carry on about being "stuck" and having "writer's block." Then there's me. I'm not one of those people who has to force books to appear. In fact, ideas seem to lurk around corners and attack me when I'm not looking for them. My first series, Wild Blue Mysteries, came from a dream one night about a cat. Literally! The entire series developed from there while I walked around town and sat in coffee shops.

As I type this, I have two series in various phases of publication and one more I'm plotting when I get free time (a rare commodity with three kids and a job!!) My second series, Gilda Wright Mysteries, came from my karate training and current job. Lots of ideas stem from learning how to protect yourself from the "what ifs." Isn't that how most writers get their great ideas? From an attack of the "what ifs"?

One of the best things I have learned from is the dreaded deadline. No time for writer's block when you have an agent or publisher waiting for your work. You have to sit and let the thoughts flow.

A writer friend of mine told me she has problems finishing a book. She has great ideas, but has problems finishing writing an entire book. My number one advice to her was to get a glass of wine (or tea or coffee...) and to stop thinking and let the story flow. The ideas WILL come. Stop trying to change things as you go along, there will be plenty of time for that during the editing phase when being stuck will be the farthest from your mind!

Speaking of which, I'm off to my editing cave! Have a wonderful Easter!

Diane Bator

You can find me at:  http://bookswelove.net/authors/bator-diane/

Writer, heal thyself!

I love to do research. Sometimes it becomes an addiction on par with Candy Crush or Bejewelled and, as with any good novel, it always begins with a "what if?" Lately, I've had to do research I thought at first was unrelated to my Wild Blue Mysteries, but recently the information I've needed in my books has also dogged me in real life. I'm learning what it takes to be a strong, female lead then give some of that energy over to someone else to make life better.

Every good romance novel has a strong woman, who either needs or lets a man take care of her. While I don't write actual romance novels, my mysteries follow the same flow. All three of my Books We Love novels to date feature women who start off from a place of being either abused or dejected in some way. All three women: Katie Mullins (The Bookstore Lady), Lucy Stephen (The Mystery Lady), and Christina Davidson (The Bakery Lady), have to relearn how to trust and allow love to return to their lives while helping to solve the mysteries surrounding each of them.

Like Katie, Lucy, and Christina, I've become broken by trying to do it all for everyone else all the time - like any good mom would. Along the way, I've lost myself. It's been through my writing that I've found kinship and strength. Writing group members, Facebook allies, and others I have learned to reach out to for support have become a huge part of my circle. They not only give me encouragement, but also have allowed me to become the woman I am evolving into, both in my life and in my writing as I recover from health issues.

My research has led me to discover some interesting things that will appear in two upcoming novels. The Painted Lady will bring forth some art history and lessons while Christina rediscovers the passions she thought she'd long buried. The Crazy Lady will feature some technological gadgets used as spywear that will finally help Danny and Katie put an end to some serious trouble in Packham in a big way.

With every story I research, I learn.
With every book I write, I grow and develop - both as a writer and as a human being.
With every novel, I heal myself and, hopefully others.

Thank you for stopping by. You can find my books on Amazon at Diane Bator, Author.

The Mystery Lady by Diane Bator

The Mystery Lady is the second book in my Wild Blue Mysteries series with Books We Love. Oddly enough, Lucy Stephen was created while looking out my bedroom window and watching vehicles drive by. While I'm lucky enough to not have had a stalker, it did create that aura of "what if" that always plagues a writer. So Lucy became a mystery writer who was dragged into solving a murder.

Lucy's stalker, aka Danny Walker from The Bookstore Lady, becomes a victim of being hired by the wrong person at the wrong time. Unable to prove Lucy's guilt, he sets out to save the lives of Lucy and her children.

Enjoy the excerpt!

Chapter 2

Lucy

Lucy Stephen twisted her wedding rings around her finger and shoved aside all thoughts of writer’s block to focus on her bank statement. She’d never considered writing about murder and mayhem, until the past couple months when her husband had given her a steady supply of material. During their eleven year marriage, she’d strived to be the best wife and mother she could, which didn’t stop Roger from leaving her alone with three kids in a neighborhood full of lecherous men, and other assorted lunatics, while he moved in with Cynthia.

Her current thoughts lay scattered like the nacho crumbs that littered the hardwood floor. No wonder her shorts were getting tight, she ate cheap junk food every time she called to ask Roger for money.

She compared the statement to the balance in her chequebook and willed the numbers to increase exponentially. They refused to budge. Clutching her resume reluctantly, she sighed. As much as she wanted to make a living, the meager amount she earned writing didn’t pay the mortgage or feed and clothe her kids. She needed to make the flying leap to get a real job before school started, but the thought of leaving her kids to go to work every day made her palms sweat.

For the past eleven years, the kids had been her entire world. Her kids and her writing. With Roger gone, she was alone in a strange town. Who would look after her kids while she worked? Who’d cut the crusts off Shawn’s peanut butter sandwiches and make sure Gina didn’t wait too long to go to the toilet?

She wiped away a tear. Getting emotional wasn’t going to help. If things didn’t turn around soon, she’d have to call her parents for a loan to get her through and listen to them plead with her to move back to Seattle.

The screech of metal on metal came from outside the window and grated on her nerves as it had the entire afternoon. One of her neighbors was outside tinkering with his truck. She tucked her lower lip between her teeth to stifle a scream. Already on the verge of a complete breakdown, the noise pushed her closer to the edge with each passing minute. She reached up and clutched her hair with both hands.

“Mom,” Shawn, her middle son, called up the stairs. “Dad’s on the phone.”

She winced. A second phone sat on her desk, ringer off. Normally, she was thrilled to talk to other grown-ups, any other grown-ups, just not Roger Stephens. She still harbored a few hard feelings, more like a truckload after he’d left her.

From what she’d learned, Cynthia Mathias was not only rich, but a dozen years older than Roger. Lucy wasn’t surprised when they broke up less than two months later. When Cynthia died, however…

Lucy shuddered. No one deserved to be raped and bludgeoned by an intruder while alone in her penthouse apartment. She’d read every news clipping she came across trying to make sense of Cynthia’s murder. At least with the kids around for the summer, Lucy was never alone and the odds of such a crime happening to her seemed remote.

When Roger had brushed off her concerns after Cynthia’s death, Lucy assumed they’d parted on ugly terms. Since Cynthia’s husband was a multi-millionaire, their breakup was probably over money. Roger didn’t have enough cold, hard cash to keep up Cynthia’s lifestyle, or her appearance.

“Mom,” Shawn shouted again. “Phone.”

“I got it.” Keeping the enthusiasm out of her voice when she did answer the phone was easy, her husband aroused emotions she’d rather not deal with. She choked back the anger, careful not to say anything stupid.

“Hey, sweetie.” Roger only called her nice things when he was drunk or wanted something. Mid-afternoon on a Wednesday, drunk was probably out. “How’s everything going?”

Lucy cringed and her stomach clenched. “Fine. Why?”

“Wow, don’t sound so suspicious. Did I catch you writing or something?” Roger chuckled then coughed and cleared his throat. “I’ll cut to the chase, Luce, I want to take the kids next week.”

“What?” Lucy fumbled the phone and let her resume waft to the floor. She hated the way he called her Luce. She was definitely not “loose”. Another loud screech of metal on metal from outside made her flinch and clench her fist. “Have you been drinking? The only reason you usually call is to say you can’t see them.” Leaving her to sop up the tears and patch their broken hearts.

“I’m sure that’s the way it seems. I do have to make a living after all.” He hesitated. “Anyway, I’d like to take the kids on vacation next week.”

She sucked in a breath and waited for the punch line. When one didn’t come, she pinched her leg. Nope, not dreaming. “For the whole week? Are you serious?”

Roger snorted. “Of course I’m serious. Tanji and I will pick them up Sunday and take them to the cottage for a few days.”

Like they had last summer when they were still a family only this time his new girlfriend would replace her. She swallowed back the hurt. “This Sunday?”

Roger hesitated then suddenly seemed more relaxed. He must have taken a few deep breaths. “Yes. I figure they should have a little vacation time after all the crap we put them through.”

We? Lucy’s face burned. He’d put them through all the crap and, now had the nerve to thrust part of his guilt on her. “Right. You’re going to take the kids, dump them with your parents and parade your new girlfriend all over the beach.”

Tanji was girlfriend number three, or was it four? At least Cynthia’s death hadn’t seemed to affect his libido much.

Come join the adventures of the Wild Blue Detective Agency in the Wild Blue Mysteries.

Both The Bookstore Lady and The Mystery Lady are available through Books We Love!

You can also find me at my website Pens, Paints and Paper and my blog!

Wild Blue Mysteries

It's hard to believe it's been an entire year since The Bookstore Lady was first released. Even more amazing my second book The Mystery Lady was released earlier this year and yet a third book awaits in the wings.

The Wild Blue Detective Agency began with Danny Walker, a police officer, and Leo Blue, retired soldier, who began the agency in order to go undercover and stop a ruthless criminal named Maddox. In trying to take Maddox down, Danny Walker needs to track Paulina Chourney, Maddox's mistress. 



Lovely, blonde Paulina escapes Maddox and arrives in the fictional small town of Packham, praying the men she worked for would never think to look for her in a small town. She gives herself a total makeover, changes her name to Katie Mullins, then makes a deal on a little bookstore she renovates and breathes new life into. Fate (and her real estate agent) brings her to rent a room in an elderly lady's home and Katie is thrust into a local writing group, successfully fading into anonymity. 

That is, until Danny Walker wanders into town to visit family and figures out who she is. 
And now for a taste of The Bookstore Lady. Enjoy!

Dunnsforth’s body lay on the beach. His legs bobbed on the waves of Lake Erie entwined in the blue and silver scarf clutched in his left hand. The late afternoon sun cast strange shadows over his ashen face. Shoe prints dented the mud where Dunnsforth and his shooter had stepped off the rocks.

Danny held his breath while the forensics guys pulled the corpse higher onto the rocks. He knew that scarf. Paulina wore it to Maddox’s party the night before. Did she have it when they drove back into the city? Whoever shot him wore high-heeled shoes, which eliminated the males at the party. Although, Al Duvall had potential. If he wore a disguise and shaved his moustache, he would make a passable woman.

“Shit.” Bobby Holland was tall and tanned. Both he and Danny joined the Newville Police ten years earlier, but were only paired up two years ago to investigate DMR. “You’d think a classy guy like this could get shot somewhere nice and sunny. I could really use a tropical vacation about now.”

“Same here.” Danny grimaced. The day was a blur of paperwork, evidence gathering and now body collection. “Looks like he took a souvenir from whoever shot him. It looks like the scarf Paulina wore last night.”

“Shot in the right temple. You sure this isn’t a suicide?”

“With Maddox involved? No way.” Danny glanced toward the glass, brick and steel building, Maddox’s summer cottage, the site of the festivities less than twenty-four hours earlier.

He ran a hand through his hair, grateful he didn’t have to wear his disguise for much longer. The shaggy blond wig and beard itched and gave him a rash. He loved undercover work, but hated the makeup.

“Did someone pick up Paulina this morning? We’ll need her statement to make things stick against Maddox and the others. Keep her away from the others.”

Bobby hesitated. “That’s a problem. Oswald got into a fender bender. By the time he got to the motel, Paulina was gone. He went to her apartment but—”

“Let me guess. She skipped town, which means we can’t eliminate her as a suspect since she might have caught up to our vic.” Danny frowned. “Unless you think there’s another body out there.”

“I think it’s worth a look. DMR’s offices are secured, Maddox’s house locked up and some of the people we arrested last night are already out on bail. There are a lot of loose cannons running around.”

One of the forensics investigators picked something off the scarf with tweezers. “Any of your suspects have long blonde hair?”

Bobby chuckled. “Five or six.”

Danny sighed. “Paulina was the only one wearing a scarf like that though.”

“Shit.” Bobby’s smile faded. “You really think she’s the shooter?”

“Anything’s possible. We need to find her.”

Hope you enjoy reading The Bookstore Lady!  

Diane Bator

Website: http://penspaintsandpaper.com

Blog: http://dbator.blogspot.ca/

Stay tuned for The Mystery Lady!