It's the Most Stressful Time of the Year by Stuart R. West

Warm your holidays up with some chills!

Sing with me, everyone! Huzzah! The holidays are nearly over!

No more fruitcakes (no, no, not the food...that ONE uncle. Yeah, you know which one I'm talking about). Say goodbye to the wrasslin' wranglers of the store aisles, the ones who give soccer players a run for their money. So long to false smiles when you open a box of tighty-whities (I killed the snickers when I threatened to model them). And no more uncomfortable hugs. Especially uncomfortable hugs.

I think I'm the only one who has a problem knowing when to hug. Hugging protocol isn't in my armory. In my family, if you accidentally touch someone, the knee-jerk reaction is to jump like an Olympic kangaroo. Yet, there's my wife's family, the huggin'-est family around. No problem with that, as I love 'em all, truly I do. I think it's nice, actually. So I studied and watched them. Maybe it's an Oklahoma thing, I naively thought.  When the Fed Ex man rang the doorbell, I put what I'd learned into play, welcoming him with a big ol' bear hug.

Well, turns out I still have a bit more to learn.

Anyway, Christmas time. I used to look forward to the holiday. Not so much anymore. Call me a curmudgeon or a realist, I'm okay with both.

Several years back, our Christmas was different in many ways. For instance, I only heard the cloying "Santa Baby" song whenever we went shopping. Usually it's a mainstay that digs into your head like a dentist's drill. But on Christmas day, the song of choice seemed to be "Let It Snow,"  a song I loath because the sentiment is treasured only by children and drunk television weathermen. Obviously the singer lives in Florida.

This particular holiday was filled with more than its fair share of excitement, not the particularly good, cozy gather-around-the-fireplace type, either.

A niece I adore decided to get married on December 21st in Midwest Kansas, home of winter blizzards. So, that Saturday morning at 6:30 a.m. (my wife's a hard-charger), we set off for Hays, attempting to stay one step ahead of "Storm (I think they named it) Dumbledore." You know, the storm that blew the socks off everyone in the States (Canada, I'm looking at you!).

We got there okay, albeit bleary-eyed, delirious, and pumped up on caffeine and sugar. My daughter woke up in the back seat, yawned, and with a happily contented tone said, "Wow, that trip wasn't so bad." Even though she was 21 at the time, I I still grounded her for life.

BOOM! Flat tire after lunch. 22 degrees outside. (Merry Christmas, everybody!) Freezing, yet determined to show my masculine side, I changed the tire in, say, fifty-five minutes. Much cursing ensued. Icing on the cake? My wife ("accidentally," she says) kicked me in the nose. Grease-stained, sniffing, and broken-nosed, we're just in time for wedding pictures.

The next morning (6:30 a.m. again) I'm dreary and suffering a bad back from the lousy hotel bed. And the ice machine, birthing baby cubes right outside our door, kept us up all night. (Happy Horror-days!) But I pulled up my big-boy britches 'cause it was time to go to Oklahoma to celebrate Christmas with my wife's family. 

At one stretch, the highway was covered with huge chunks and stalactites of snow. It felt like we were four-wheeling (it's a Midwest thing, folks, don't worry about it). And we nearly got stuck in the parking lot of a "Pilot" store getting gas.

And these stores...you know, I never knew there was such a variety of "quick in and out stores." I think we visited them all across the Midwest. There was the aforementioned "Pilot," the downtrodden "Stop-Shop (home of the world's filthiest bathrooms)," numerous "Kum-n-Go's (tee-hee)," and, of course, my personal new favorite discovery, "The Wood Shed." I'm telling you, "The Wood Shed" is Nirvana. It's what the Stuckey's of my childhood used to be. Their logo is great, a Beaver or something glaring at you with googly eyes. When you open the door--just like a carnival funhouse--a ginormous fan blasts you with a ghostly groan and a seriously threatening whirlwind of heat. (While I was waiting for my wife, I amused myself by watching newcomers freak out when they crossed the Barrier of the Damned.)  After you survive tornado alley, a giant blow-up snowman with an evil grin looms over you! Fantastic! And the bathrooms...the glorious, wondrous, old-fashioned, smelly bathrooms with antiquated machines boasting of  mysterious treasures such as "Big Wally" and other enticing sundries. Plus there was a plethora of crap for tourists to get suckered into. Gave me Christmas chills.

Then the trip turned nightmarish. My wife ran over a red squirrel in the highway. His eyes still haunt me. Took me seconds to shake it...

Had a great time with my wife's family. But I was sleep-deprived and loopy the whole time (kinda' like how I was during college). I found myself drifting off on many occasions--taking a Scrooge-like trippy side-trip--looking down on the proceedings as if I'd died or something. Maybe I did for a minute. With a turkey leg in my mouth.

Finally...it was over! And this Christmas shall to come to pass.

Merry Christmas everyone and God help us one and all!

In fact, you know what I think? I think Peculiar County would look mighty nice under a Christmas Tree this year... 

Click For Thrills, Chills, Mystery, Nostalgia, Romance, and Laughs

My offering for Halloween—Tricia McGill

Find all my books here on my Books We Love author page

As it’s about that time of year again when folk start to think about ghoulies and ghosties etc. so I thought my creepy short story might be appropriate. It is called A Bad Mistake.

“I don’t want to go, Clive.” Mary sat on the side of the bed and pouted.

“Oh come, don’t be a kill-joy, sweetheart.” Clive tugged at her arm.

“But I didn’t like the look of him.” Mary shuddered as she recalled the stranger who spoke to them earlier. “His eyes seemed to be going right through me.”

“Nonsense, darling, he’s just a bit different to what we’re used to. Typical English country type.” Clive laughed. “You have to expect them to be a bit unusual round here. This town’s very isolated so I don’t suppose they see many outsiders. Except for the tourists who stay in this hotel, and from what I could see there’s not that many.”

“I do wish you hadn’t told him we were on our honeymoon. He had a distinct leer on his face at that piece of information. You shouldn’t have told him where we come from.”

“You’re a funny little thing.” Clive fondly chucked her beneath the chin. “I merely told him we’d come to visit distant relatives of ours and that we’d arrived from Australia on Tuesday.”

“You also told him we were named after our English grandparents.”

“What’s so wrong with that?” Clive shrugged. “Anyway he seemed eager to take us to see the badgers in the woods. It will be nice to see some unusual wildlife while we’re here.”

“All right,” she conceded. “I agree it’ll be a treat. A bit different to kangaroos and wombats.” She pulled on her coat. “That’s if we ever actually get to see them. Why did we have to wait until after ten to go? It’s pitch black out there. You know I hate the dark. I’d prefer to stay here where it’s snug—and safe.”

Clive grinned as he shrugged into his windcheater. “We can’t spend all our time tucked away up here. Much as I’ve enjoyed it so far. We don’t want the locals talking about the Aussie honeymooners who never left their room, do we?”

“We could stay down in the bar,” Mary said eagerly. “I love that quaint room with the peat fire and the locals playing darts and dominoes.”

“Bit late for them now. I expect they’ve all gone home to their own fires. Come on, let’s go down and wait outside for him.”

They made their way down the narrow winding staircase, and then out through the side door of the inn.

Mary shivered as she dug her hands into her pockets and snuggled closer to Clive. “Doesn’t look like he’s coming. It’s cold out here, Clive, and very misty.” The trees surrounding the tiny car park at the side of the inn were mysterious silhouettes. The moon had hidden itself from view. “This village is a dream in the daytime, but this time of night it looks positively creepy. Did you fetch the torch?”

“Oh Mary, you’re vivid imagination is too much at times. Damn, forgot it, but suppose he’ll have one—ah, you’ve arrived.” Clive turned to greet the local man they met earlier. “I thought you’d changed your mind.”

The stranger’s cap concealed most of his face, and his great coat reached his ankles. He wasn’t carrying a torch. “No, I wouldn’t do that young fellow. Ready?”

“Sure thing.” Clive rubbed his palms together. “Give me your hand, darling.”

Mary stepped back. “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to go.”

“Okay.” Clive gave her a gentle push. “You go back inside and I’ll go by myself.”

“No, if you go, then so will I.” Mary glanced about, before linking hands with Clive. They followed the stranger, who was now well ahead. “It’s awfully dark beneath these trees, Clive. He’s marching along as if he has a train to catch.” An owl hooted overhead, startling Mary. “I swear he has cat’s eyes.” It was now only just possible to discern the stranger through the murkiness.

“Don’t hang onto my sleeve so hard, darling.” Clive removed her clinging hand and enfolded it in his again. “You were dragging my coat off my back.”

Mary squeaked when an animal the size of a cat ran out in front of them then disappeared into the darkness. “Yikes, that scared the hell out of me, Clive.” They came out of the trees onto a large open space. “This is that old disused airfield we passed this morning. The village looked like something out of a picture postcard then, but it’s eerie and strange now. And what’s that funny droning sound?”    

The stranger had stopped, and when they drew level with him, said, “This way, my dears. Some say that noise is the ghostly echoes of all the aircraft that took off from here during the war and never returned to the home base.”

“I hate it here,” Mary whispered. Clive gave her arm a shake.

The stranger chuckled. It was not a cheerful sound. “But it’s merely the insects and wild-life. My grandfather was a pilot. He used to bring me here when I was young. He would tell me wonderful stories about this place and the men who perished in the planes that left here.”

“It’s so dark,” Mary grumbled.

“I’d know my way around blindfold.” The stranger moved off.

“Seems an odd place for badgers to be,” Mary whispered.

The man suddenly stopped, saying, “What’s that light there? Strange. I’d better investigate.”

“We’ll wait here for you,” Clive said.

He walked off, leaving them alone. “I hate it here, Clive.” Mary shuddered. “I never saw any light did you?”

The man silently reappeared and Mary jumped out of her skin. “It’s the entrance to a bunker,” he said. “It’s probably only the local kids mucking about. They get down there for a lark. It’s quite interesting really. Come and have a look. All the old staff quarters are down there.”

As Clive made to follow, Mary caught his sleeve. “No, don’t go.”

“Don’t be a wet blanket, darling.” Clive gave her arm a squeeze. “You’re carrying on as if the place is haunted. It’s only a tunnel. What about the caves back home? You weren’t scared of them.”

“Well, I’m not staying here alone.” Mary grimaced. “I’ll have to come with you.”

The stranger beckoned to them, and they joined him at a small square hatch. He’d lifted the lid and a hazy shaft of light showed up a ladder leading into a passageway below. Lifting a leg he cocked it over the knee-high wall around the entrance, then disappeared.

“I’ll go first, love, to catch you if you fall.” Clive began to descend. Halfway down, he called up. “Mind how you climb down, Mary, It’s a bit rusty.”

When they were standing on rough ground at the bottom, Mary asked in a shaky voice, “Where’s he gone? That light’s almost gone now. And what’s that peculiar smell. It stinks like that dead cow we saw once at the side of the road.”

Clive took her hand again. “There he is.” The stranger was at the end of a corridor that was barely wide enough for them to walk side by side. “Come on, he’s beckoning to us.”

Mary pulled him back. “I don’t want to go any further. It’s creepy.”

“Don’t be silly, love. All right, you stay here, and I’ll just see what he’s up to.”

Mary shuddered as Clive walked off. At the end of the corridor, he turned to give her a wave before he went around the corner.

Mary pressed herself against the wall, goose bumps covering her scalp. When an eerie sound echoed off the walls, she let out a small scream. “Clive, who’s that laughing?” she called. “I’m coming down there, wait for me.” She tripped as she raced to the corner, grazing her hands on the rough walls as she steadied herself.

The stranger stood outside an opening where the light came from. “Come on in, my dear, he said. “Join the game.”

Mary tentatively neared the doorway, gasping when she looked into the room.  Clive sat at a table with six other men. “Clive, why are you playing cards with these men?” she croaked.

Vaguely she was aware of their clothing, as they seemed to dither and recede before her eyes. They all wore what she recognised as flying jackets—the type you saw in films about the war.

“What are they doing down here?” As she said this, all their faces went blank, like a painting where the artist hadn’t got around to putting their features in yet. She screamed. The stranger’s laugh was sinister. “Clive…I can’t…see their faces,” she stammered. Clive was smiling, but then his face grew faint. “What’s wrong with you?” Mary reached out to touch him, but as he smiled at her, his face went fuzzy. “Clive!” Her shout reverberated off the walls.

Mary whirled and ran. When she reached the end of the corridor, she couldn’t see the ladder. She sobbed as she frantically scrabbled about. In terror, she turned about and retraced her steps—only to meet a dead end.

Author’s note: When newly married, my husband and I stayed with friends near a disused airport outside Aylesbury, Bucks. The group of us would walk there after dark and the men—as young men do—took great delight in scaring the wits out of us females with ghost stories. This is the only horror story I ever wrote and it still gives me the creeps.

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What is the YA Secret Series?

Happy Holidays Everyone! Good tidings and cheers to all: ) Thank you for stopping in, I was hoping you would as I have a few things to share about my new young adult Secret Series.

First off here’s the Secret Series tagline for the YA paranormal, supernatural series:

A series of secrets, invisible yet glaring, and most include a supernatural spin, like an unwelcomed sensation sparking every nerve ending.

Each book has a “secret,” sometimes more than one, and it usually comes with an element of the paranormal, sci-fi, or supernatural. Each book is unique in characters – there are no ties from one book to another with the exception of the secret thread, not the same secret either.

The young adults that star in each book vary in ages, like for instance, Secret: In Wolf Lake stars Sam (Samantha) a fifteen-year-old, and Secret: In HL Woods stars Bri, a seventeen-year-old. The next book releasing end of next year, Secret: Of Amber Eyes will star Morgan, a high school newly graduated eighteen-year-old woman.

Every book is its own story from beginning to finish so it doesn’t follow any sequence of events or evolving characters and relationships from one book to another – the books can be read in any order: )

Here’s Secret: In Wolf Lake Blurb: YA sci-fi

Samantha’s dealing with a lot of emotional blow-back from her mother’s new marriage. Then she discovers a gifted creature living in Wolf Lake, and life suddenly becomes all about keeping his existence a secret, earning his trust.

That is until his life depends on her saving him. But she won’t be able to do it alone…

Buy Links Here: https://books2read.com/secretinwolflake

Secret: At HL Woods Blurb: YA Paranormal

Bri, seventeen-year-old ghost-seer, keeps her ability under wraps at the new school until a murdered couple from the 60’s asks for help.

Kyle, a high school jock, realizes the new girl lives next door; she’s crazy cute, goth-odd, and too convenient to ignore.

Max, Kyle’s best friend, only sees Bri as a wicked threat.

Luke, Bri’s gay best friend, moves in for the summer, escaping his abusive father.

Paths cross, sparks spew…will anyone remain the same after?

Buy Links Here: http://books2read.com/secretatHLWoods

Wishing you and yours joy, abundance, and health for the New Year and always.

DK Davis - BWL Publishing Inc. Author Page: http://bookswelove.net/authors/davis-dk/

I'm SUCH a Little Girl! by Stuart R. West

Click here for The Book that has Stuart R. West in gender crisis!

After my wife read my latest book Peculiar County, she said to me, "I can't believe you were able to capture the mindset of a teenage girl so well."

Talk about a backward compliment! I mean, should I be worried? Should I hand in my Manly Man Membership card?

Maybe I'll start having sleepovers, invite all the neighborhood teen girls over. We can stay up all night, do each other's hair, talk about cute boys and boy bands. Pillow fight!

Except, well...no.

Not only do I not have any hair to braid, I don't think the neighbors would look too kindly on an old bald guy hosting a teenage sleepover.

So. Foregoing sleepovers, what are my other options?

I mean, I'm getting this kinda talk about my writing from a teen girl's perspective everywhere. Take for instance, "The Cellophane Queen," a notoriously hard-nosed book critic. Here's a snippet of her review of Peculiar County:

"The first person approach to Dibby, the 15-year-old female lead, is a highly dangerous task for a 50-something old guy, but he just dug in and channeled a perfect Dibby from 1965. This was a brilliant choice. Trying to emulate a 21st Century 15-year-old would be doomed to failure, but the 1965 version of a polite lil gal from Kansas with plenty of issues like a runaway mom and the high-school drama queen hellbent on making her life hell? Brilliant."--The Cellophane Queen review

See what I mean? Did the critic really have to bring up my *ahem* "50-something old" status? And make a big deal outta my writing from the viewpoint of a 15-year-old female?

Honestly, I just sorta wrote the lead character from an outsider's viewpoint, not too far removed from my own awful high school years. Changed things up a bit. And, frankly, anyone who's read any of my books knows the female characters are always the smarter, stronger ones.

Still, I'm scared. I've never liked sports, just kinda find them a waste of time. Bachelor parties? Feh. Who wants to go to parties without any women? And if I'm being absolutely honest right now (and I always am with you guys), I've owned a few pink shirts.

Fine. The critics have spoken. From now on, I'm only going to write books about serial-drinking, barrel-chested, bone-crunching, double-fisted, chain-smoking, hard-loving, window-smashing, refrigerator-lifting, terrible-smelling, neanderthal men! HooYAH! 

Right after I finish my planned epic series of books about Sweet Pollyanna Pourtney's New Red Velvet Shoes.


Stuart R. West's Books We Love Author's Page: http://bookswelove.net/authors/west-stuart-r/

Kitchen Apparition

http://amzn.to/1TDh07s  My Mozart  ISBN:  1927476364

What we’ve had here today has been sun, clouds, and a sort of golden light falling through autumnal trees that I think of as Don Giovanni weather. And what, you ask, makes me call it that? Well, it’s the end of October now and we are approaching Halloween, the time of year, when, in 1787, to thunderous applause and many encores, that opera was first performed. The city was Prague, not Vienna, because by that time the arbiters of taste in the latter place had decided that Mozart was no longer cool. The infamous con man, Casanova, may have sat in with Lorenzo DaPonte and Mozart, while the libretto was written, lending his own unsavory life experiences to the twists and turns of the plot.

When I entered one of those OCD states of mind to which I am prone, in the mid-eighties, it was All Mozart All The Time at our house. I began to write two Mozart novels, “Mozart’s Wife” and “My Mozart.” Wouldn’t want anyone checking out the titles to wonder what the subject was.

http://amzn.to/1Vy47lm  Mozart’s Wife  ISBN:  1461109612

This happened on a late October Saturday. The silver maples were raincoat yellow. The sky had been clear blue all morning until after lunch, but after, the wind rose and a fleet of puffy, gray-bottomed clouds began to put  a lid on things. I was doing housework, still attempting the working woman’s bit where you go double time and do lots of housework and cooking over weekends. Of course, I was blasting Don Giovanni, saturating my cells with every chord—just as I used to do all through the '60's and ‘70’s with rock’n’roll.     

Husband was off somewhere, and the house was empty of teenage sons, too, so the only nerves I was fraying were my own. In those days I had a fabulous pair of pink high top sneakers that looked ever so good with jeans. Jeepers, this was a long time ago--back in the last century...

What happened in my kitchen that afternoon is the only supernatural encounter I’ve had in this house. I think there genuinely are no ghosts here; the house was built in 1948. There has been anger, violence, and grief, but no deaths. So, in this case the "supernatural" experience focused on me.

Looking back, I can see that I'd overdosed on Mozart. And, on this day, too much Don Giovanni, too much dwelling in and on the stories of Herr WAM in which I had been immersed, re-imagining and writing in a Sheldon-Cooper-like spasm of self-indulgence. This led Mozart's dynamic, charismatic spirit, drawn by womanly hero-worship as well as the sound of his music, to pass the gate.

Nanina contemplates the skull of her maestro

The Stromboli dough I'd prepared earlier lay ready to roll out, ready to receive meat, cheese, tomato sauce, and sweet pepper, when my progress was interrupted by a loud creak followed by an unearthly groan. It was that old movie sound effect of the hinges of hell—or heaven—swinging open. It was so loud it overcame the flood of opera, pouring from the kitchen speakers.

I spun around and there he was, standing on my 1948-era brick pattern linoleum. Needless to say, after so much time he looked ghastly—the “great nosed Mozart” as a contemporary called him—shrunken, frail, his face lined with his final suffering—but undeniably present.

.

From "The Mozart Brothers" 

I saw him clear as day. My reaction—I'm not ashamed to admit—was fear. When the door opens at 3 a.m. in a dark bedroom while you are still half asleep, well, that's something you can explain as "dreams intruding upon reality." When, however, the door opens at 3 p.m. on a sun-through- clouds-afternoon, while you construct a mundane kid-pleasing Stromboli it was darn alarming.

I leapt backwards, reaching gazelle-like heights* I've never before achieved, landing all the way across the kitchen. By the time the time those pink shoes hit the vinyl, though, my ghostly idol had gone.  



~~Juliet Waldron