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My rather large family teemed with stories itching to be written. Unfortunately I will never live long enough to come anywhere near telling them all. This is one of my first ever efforts and was written so long ago I had forgotten all about it. It was based vaguely on one of my brother's unhappy experiences. Do not fret though, for he ended up finding true love.
Sweet Bitterness
“Australia. You must be mad!”
As Tony laid one shirt carefully on
top of another in his suitcase the angry words of his father reverberated around in his brain. Now that the time of his departure was so near he sincerely
believed his father was right. He must be insane. But what was the use in
remaining here? Melody would never love him. He doubted if she’d ever love
anyone but herself.
Ah, Melody! So beautiful, so
vibrant, like a pure white rose in full bloom. With a heavy sigh Tony closed
his suitcase and fastened the catch.
While preparing for bed he almost pushed
all thoughts of her to the back of his mind, but as he tossed and turned beneath the covers in the bed that had been his all his mature life all memories of
Melody came rushing back to torment him.
How well he remembered their first
meeting.
“Sweet seventeen and never been
kissed,” he said. Her luminous brown eyes smiled provocatively at him while her
mouth curved in a smile so enticing his poor heart was lost to her in that
moment. Like the first wonderful day of spring after a long and bitterly cold
winter this vision blew into his life.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” At
this retort she tossed her raven hair; hair like silk. And so he took up the
challenge and became so besotted by her beauty and vivacity that soon she led
him around like a lamb to the slaughter.
“She’s using you, son. She’s making
a fool of you. Are you so blind you can’t see her for what she is? She’s a
Jezebel.” Tony’s father kept up a constant barrage of criticism. But Tony fell deeper
and deeper into Melody’s honeyed web; so deep that even if he possessed the
power to break free of her spell he really doubted he wanted to. His love for her
was a wild and desperate desire, blotting out all else, consuming him.
When Tony saw a wealthy and
influential local businessman making undisguised passes at her, he stormed, “I’ll
kill you before I see that dirty scoundrel set a finger on you.”
Melody laughed in his face. “Oh
Tony, what a fool you are. Daniel’s a very rich man, and I intend to get the
very most out of life. He doesn’t have a hope of touching me, but what harm can
it do to string him along?”
And string him along she did. Tony’s
jealousy soon reached boiling point. “You belong to me, Melody, and I’m
warning you; my patience is coming to an end.” The ache in his poor heart threatened
to choke him when he saw her continue to exercise her growing powers over the
infatuated admirer.
“I belong to no one.” With a haughty
flounce, she taunted him, which inflamed him more.
Tony had other ideas. He set out to
prove to the beautiful half-child with the charms of a witch that she did
indeed belong to him, body and soul. He arranged a trip into the serene countryside bordering the city and on a soft and warm spring day when the birdsong filled
the hazy air and shafts of sunlight filtered through the overhanging branches
of a great willow tree he made love to her.
Melody offered little resistance to
his sometimes gentle, sometimes sensual, demanding lovemaking, and when he embraced her in the afterglow and gazed down at her lovingly she did not contradict him
when he whispered, “Now you are truly mine forever.”
The breeze drifted over their
heated bodies and a train whistle sounded mournfully in the far distance. Filled
with the sheer ecstasy of the moment and the enchantment of the place of
seclusion on a mossy bank where they lay entwined, she’d nodded mutely and
sighed.
* * *
Tony stared at his face in the
mirror as he scraped the razor over his stubbly jaw. His night had been
restless and dream-tossed and the dark smudges beneath his eyes and the lines running
from his mouth to his nose made him appear gaunt and older than his twenty five
years.
“Hurry up son, Dad wants to get
into the bathroom,” his mother’s quiet and placid voice called as she tapped on
the door. How he’d miss his family. Going far away seemed like the only
solution to his problems and he’d rushed out recklessly to buy a ticket on a
liner to Australia. But as his time of departure drew nearer he wondered if he
was doing the right thing.
After he’d seduced Melody—yes it
had to be termed as seduction, even though she’d been more than willing, he’d
said, “Now you must marry me.”
Melody stared at him. Her eyes
filled with her surprise; a look that shocked him to the core. But it was the
words coming from her beautiful mouth that hurt the most. “I can’t marry you,
Tony, don’t you see. My parents would never agree to me marrying a mere
labourer, even if I wanted to. I care for you, of course I do, but I’m too
young to settle down to dull domesticity. I have so much living to do before I
marry.”
“I’ll be rich one day, Melody. I’ll
go up north to work. They’re crying out for tradesmen in the midlands; I’ve
already applied and I’m waiting on a reply.” His uttered prediction had sounded
hollow even to himself.
But before he left to take up the
job he’d begged, “Please wait for me?” But when he looked back on it she never
promised or pledged anything; in fact the subject of marriage was ignored as
far as she was concerned, but being so blindly in love with her he’d taken her
silence as agreement.
* * *
Tony boarded the ship with a heavy
heart. His mother’s tears and his father’s remonstrations did little to ease
the sense of desolation at leaving all and everyone he loved behind. After
taking his travelling case to the tiny cabin he was to share with three fellow
passengers he returned to the ship’s rail to watch the hustle and bustle on the
dockside below. A girl with a mass of black hair stood on the pier waving, the
tears blinding her were clear to see even from this distance. Could it be
Melody? His heart stopped for a moment as he gripped the rail. Had she come to
beg him not to leave? He tasted blood and realised he’d bitten his lip. What a useless
fantasy; no hope for that now.
There were no answering letters
when he’d written to her in despair when he went away to work up north. Fool
that he was he’d made one excuse after another for the lack of mail. It was
her parents—they’d forbidden her to reply, he knew it. Or perhaps they hadn’t
even shown her his letters. He eventually ceased writing, but instead sent his
young sister to Melody’s house on a mission to discover what she could. But, his
sister was unable to talk to Melody and her father had forbidden the girl to come
to his door again.
Still Tony clung to his dreams as
his bank balance steadily grew. Melody would be waiting for him, despite her parents
attitude and when they saw how successful he’d become there was no doubt in his
mind they’d approve of his marrying their daughter.
Fat chance. When he’d returned, jubilant,
nothing had changed. The stab of pain around his heart was still as strong and
the taste of bitter disillusionment still there in his mouth.
Dressed in his best suit with a
matching waistcoat he’d arrived at Melody’s front door to be met by the
formidable figure of her father. “What d’you want here?” The scorn in his eyes
as he took in Tony’s immaculate appearance with a barely concealed touch of
amazement was belittling.
“I want to see Melody.” Tony squared
his shoulders and tried to keep a confident tone.
But her father was curt to the
point of rudeness. “Well she doesn’t want to see you. And I’m warning you, my
good man, you keep out of her life; she’s a married woman now and can well do
without you hanging around.” He pushed his chin forward in a threatening
posture, but Tony was barely aware by then of the man’s twisted sneer. A loud thumping in his ears sent him deaf and his heartbeat was so erratic he felt he’d
collapse on the step.
“Married?” The word came out on a
squeak of disbelief.
“Yes, and she’s quite happy. So I’m
warning you, stay away from my girl!” With a finger waving under Tony’s nose he
backed up and slammed the door.
Stricken; Tony stumbled around for
a week. Then he took to waiting on the corner of the street where Melody’s
parents lived, figuring she was sure to pay a call at some stage.
When she finally put in an
appearance a further—and more painful surprise—hit him with the force of a
sledge-hammer between the eyes. She was pushing a pram. When she drew level
with Tony, she stared at him as if he was an apparition. When Tony’s eyes finally
went to the pram a child of about three months waved small arms at him and
gurgled happily.
Melody’s stunned reaction was clear
testament that her father hadn’t mentioned his return. Eventually she broke the
silence by stammering, “Tony it’s you.”
“Your Dad never mentioned you had a
kid.” Tony could think of nothing more sensible to say. Sick at heart he
scrabbled for something to say to end the awkwardness. “How could you do this?”
He gripped her arms and shook her.
Melody’s head went from side to
side as she whispered forlornly, “Let me explain,” but Tony turned and strode away,
hands fisted at his sides.
“I don’t want to hear your lies.” The
rain fell like needles on his face as he shouted over his shoulder. “I never
want to set eyes on you again, you little tramp!” But deep down he knew his
words to be superficial. Unable to keep away, he returned each day in the hope
of bumping into her.
On the third day they met again.
The pain that skewered his heart as he watched her walk towards him nearly
killed him. Her fragile air of innocence had disappeared; replaced by a hard
and brittle detachment. The vibrant shining thing she’d been was gone, along
with so much else. Her bitter smile cut him to the quick.
“Can we talk awhile?” he begged. So
they strolled along the bank of the canal. A wind whipped her dark mane about
her face and plastered it across her cheeks. She stared ahead as she explained
how her parents forced her into a loveless marriage. “But why? Why didn’t you wait for me.
I promised to come back a rich man, and I have.”
“I was pregnant, and they figured
he was a good catch. I didn’t want to get married, I’d rather have stayed a
single parent but they wouldn’t hear of it. No daughter of theirs was going to
flaunt herself to the world as a harlot, they told me—so I did it for peace and
quiet.” There was no mistaking her unhappiness, but this was little
consolation.
Sorrow pressed down on him like a
heavy weight. “Oh Melody, it’s my baby, isn’t it?” He peered into the pram and
the infants’ tiny finger wrapped around his large one. The boy smiled up
happily. Melody stared down at their joined fingers silently. Tony forced her
to look at him by grabbing her shoulders. “It’s my son, isn’t it?” he insisted.
“It’s got to be mine. Tell me you never let him make love to you?”
After mumbling some words he
couldn’t decipher she turned and fled, pushing the pram before her as if the
devil himself was following.
He shouted after her but she either
didn’t hear or chose to ignore him. The pain tore at him until he thought he
would die. His parents could find no way to help him out of the depths of his
despair.
Belatedly he began to realise she
couldn’t have reciprocated his feelings from the start. A host of recollections
haunted him until he felt sure he’d gone insane. Determined to prove his paternity
he pursued Melody relentlessly until her father found out that he’d been trailing
her. He threatened to call the police if Tony refused to stop harassing his
daughter. So then Tony started waiting further away from her parent’s house.
Eventually he met her again.
“Please meet me somewhere so we can
be alone together Melody, we must talk.” He knew he was begging but was past
the point of caring. What persuaded her he didn’t know and cared little but she
agreed on a meeting place on the other side of town.
He arranged to borrow a friend’s apartment
for a couple of hours. To his amazement and joy she allowed him to make love to
her. All the pain drifted away when he held her in his arms. As he stroked her slender
body in the aftermath of their passion he asked, “Do you love your husband?” With
her hair spread across the whiteness of the pillow, she looked like a goddess
as she stretched provocatively on the bed.
“I hate him, He’s a worm.” Her full
lips twisted with disdain. “I treat him like yesterday’s newspaper, and he
takes it. He’s a lapdog, and I despise him for it.” She played with the hairs
on his chest as she whispered, “I hate the life I’m tied to. I wish you’d help
me run away.”
So Tony made arrangements for them
to get away together. Melody didn’t turn up at the prearranged meeting place. Frantic
with worry and certain something terrible had happened to her he went to the
address Melody had given him. At the time she stressed that he should only go
there in extreme emergencies. Well, in Tony’s mind this was such an emergency. The
man who answered the door seemed to be a decent unassuming person in his early
thirties. He greeted Tony without a trace of rancour.
When Tony explained that he was looking for
Melody, the man said, “I’m her husband, please come in.” Tony followed him into
a comfortable, inexpensively furnished sitting-room. “Sit down.” He gestured
to an easy chair and floored Tony by saying, “I guess you must be Tony.”
Amazed that the man knew of his existence,
Tony nodded. “I suppose you know that I’ve always adored Melody and presumed she’d
marry me one day,” he said.
He let out a small laugh without
malice and sighed. “Poor man, join the lengthening queue. Melody is immature and
unable to accept fate or circumstances as they are.” He sat opposite Tony. “You
probably already know all that if you know her well. But she’s married to me,
and so must accept that I intend our marriage to survive.” With a dismissive
shrug he continued, “I’m not condemning her. She’s a butterfly and blithely flings
herself into anyone’s arms without thought of the future or the feelings of the
person involved. But I knew what I was getting when I married her, and I knew she’d
make trouble wherever she went through life. Please forget you ever met her and
leave her alone. She’s foolish and incapable of any responsible actions.”
Tony felt as if the world had
tilted. Of course he’d always known she was irresponsible and flighty, but
having this man talk that way about her made his insides churn. She belonged to
him. Suddenly stifled by the over warm room and the anger welling up inside him
he bit out, “But the boy is mine, and I’m not giving up my claim on him.”
The man stared down at his steepled
fingers before saying in a quiet voice, “This is an intolerable thing for me to
tell you, but the child is possibly not yours and is most certainly not mine. I
do love the child, and whereas you may claim paternal rights, I am married to
Melody.” For the first time his tone turned savage
and sharp and the glint in his eyes warned that he meant every word he said. “So,
I suggest you forget any illusions you may be harbouring and don’t try to take
the boy from me. Melody has no love for him, but I do, and the day will come
when she grows old and perhaps no other man will want her...but I always will.”
Tony walked away from that house shattered
in mind and spirit.
Now as he watched the gangplank
being drawn away from the ship and the last tie to England being severed he
knew her husband was the only sane one in the whole sorry tale.
Surely the years would dull the
thoughts of Melody’s face and Melody’s eyes to a memory he could cherish. Perhaps
one day he’d return to see his son—the boy he was still convinced was his. The
shoreline receded as surely as his youth had faded. The illusion of a dream of
eternal love was diminishing as his homeland was fading into the mists.
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