Books We Love Insider Blog

Sunday, January 19, 2020

The Waiting Game by Stuart R. West

Click for comedy, mystery and murrrrrderrrrrrrr most dumb!

Recently, I encountered surely one of the world's worst waiters at a Mexican restaurant. Let's call him "Nelson (because that was his name)." Combative, non-communicative, just plain bad table etiquette. He mistakenly delivered baked beans instead of refried. My wife told me to let him know about it. No thanks. After the fight he put up over his bringing flour instead of corn tortillas, I didn't want things to escalate to violence. Still, he got the last laugh. When he swept my plate out from under me (without asking), he dropped my knife an inch from my hand. No apologies.

Now I'm no waiter, never have been one, yet I do have empathy for those plying the fine trade of waiting. And, as always, I'm here to help. Hence, Stuart's Easy School of Good Waiting for the low, low price of three $39.99 installments . Order now and you'll receive a free doily.

Waiters, kindly remember these rules:

1) Hairnets. If you have hair like the lunch-lady of my nightmares, hairnets are appreciated. Soup served with croutons and curly black hairs is simply not an option.

2) For God's sake, give me time to take a bite! Overzealous behavior doesn't suit the art of waiting well. Sometimes, before I've even jammed a fork in my mouth, a tip-starved waiter will ask how everything is. And keep coming back. Again and again. It's a weird time-space conundrum. Can't comment until the food's in me. Just...no.

3) Waiters, please don't chortle at a customer's menu selection. It doesn't exactly instill culinary confidence.

4) And do we really need to know your grandmother just passed away? When the waiter starts crying, my appetite starts dying.

5) When I ask what's good, don't respond with a generic shrug and say, "everything." I don't believe you. On the other hand, when a waiter says, "I eat next door," the honesty is appreciated, but gives me pause.

6) Don't be the invisible waiter, the guy who takes an order and vanishes into the Bermuda Triangle. When a different waiter brings out a milk carton with my waiter's visage on it, I know I'm in for an even longer wait.

7) Know your customers. Do I REALLY look like a guy who wants to eat the Kale platter?

8) "Oh, I see someone's hungry." Well. When a waiter says that, I fire back, "I see someone's hungry for a tip." Puh-leaze.

9) If you're gonna' serve up witty patter, make sure it's at least borderline amusing. And don't deliver your patter like a robot. Bring your material to life. When you bury your face in the order pad, reciting lines like "you say tomat-oh, I say ta-mah-to (and I know you've recited it a kazillion times before)," it makes me wanna' use the steak knife for other purposes. Bad jail-bound purposes.

10) Finally, don't overdo it. When a waiter sits down at my table, drops an arm over my shoulder, jabs a toothpick between his teeth, and says, "You know, I'm not really a waiter...," dessert is definitely off the table.

Gang, the next time you go out to eat, recite these rules upfront to your waiter. Trust me. I'm sure they'll appreciate the advice. Absolutely positive.

What does "waiting" have to do with writing, I hear you ask? Quite a bit, actually. A waiter has to guide his/her customer through an entire meal before any kind of feedback is given (and hopefully a tip). A writer is in the same sort of unknowing vacuum until reviews come out (and hopefully sales).

There will be a test later.

Speaking of waiters, my dunderheaded protagonist of the Zach and Zora comic mystery series isn't exactly a waiter (and maybe the world's a better place for it). No, no, Zach has chosen to study and practice the fine art of "male entertainment dancing." Just, whatever you do, don't call him a "stripper." So gauche.

Click for wacky murder mystery hijinx.

Friday, January 17, 2020

Looking At The New Year - Janet Lane Waltres #Romance #Fantasy #Fire #MFRWAuthor #BWLAuthor

Looking at the New Year

Lines of Fire Challenged (The Guild House – Defender’s Hall)

This year began with a release on January first. And I also began the seventh book of the Moon Child series. The rough draft is going well. I don’t know how other writer’s work though sometimes on my blog, they are able to tell me a bit about it.

I am a draft writer and the rough draft is one only a writer can love. I belong to a critique group and reading five to ten pages of what one is working on aloud is done. When I read the pages of a rough draft, the critiques come fast and furious. “There’s no emotion.” “I don’t understand the setting.” Or “Just where are your characters.” These questions will be answered in subsequent drafts. I have one for plot, one for setting, one for characters and one language.

There are times when I wish I could be one of those writers who gets everything down at once. They revise each scene as they go and don’t continue until they are satisfied. I’ve tried this method and I found the story never was written. I need to know the end before I can make sure the beginning works.

I have other friends who just write scenes. They might write a scene from the middle of the book followed by one for the opening. This would never work for me. When they try to explain what they do I really can’t see the purpose. From beginning to end is my way.

On my rough draft I am finally nearing the end. Then I’ll go back and slowly add all I’ve left out. How about you? How do you craft your stories?

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Thursday, January 16, 2020

Bump, set, spike, by J.C. Kavanagh

The Twisted Climb - Darkness Descends

Short-listed for Best Young Adult Book 2018,

The Word Guild Canada

Book 2 of the award-winning Twisted Climb series

I am very much a sports-loving person. Since Grade 3 and into high school, I participated in track and field (100m, 200m and 400m relay). I wasn't the fastest but I wasn't the slowest, either. Since becoming an adult sometime in the last century, my sport selection widened. I've played ball hockey, baseball, volleyball and martial arts kickboxing. Today, I'm still playing volleyball and working on purple belt in kickboxing.

I've been in the same volleyball league for 35 years and the competitiveness of the league has grown in leaps and bounds - to the the point that players on the eight teams are switched every two years.

In the sport of volleyball, there are six players on each team and the goal is to 'ground' the ball on the other team's court. A point is awarded to the team who 'grounds' the ball in the opponent's court and likewise, a point is awarded if a team is unable to volley / spike the ball over the net. The team can 'touch' the ball a maximum of three times before sending it over the net. Usually the first 'touch' is a player bumping a serve up to the centre-net player. That player then sets or volleys the ball to a side player for a spike, thus the term: Bump, set, spike. The rally continues on both sides until the ball is 'grounded' either in the court or out-of-play.

There are lots of rules, too. You can't touch the ball consecutively; you can't touch the net during play; you can't step over the midline during play; you can't play the ball more than three times in your court, and game / set ends after 25 points. We play five games / sets every Wednesday during Autumn, Winter and Spring.

I just discovered the origins of volleyball. An American YMCA physical education teacher by the name of William Morgan invented the game in 1895 in Massachusetts. He based it on the rules of badminton, tennis and handball and called it Mintonette. It wasn't until 1896 that the name was changed to volleyball, denoting the volleying aspect of the game. As an aside, another new indoor game was just becoming popular - basketball.