This morning something happened that made me wonder. Where
have good manners gone?
I was given the finger by a fellow motorist as I drove out
of the local shopping center. For those of you who are non-Australians that
means a finger was pointed at me in a rude gesture by a scowling male driver.
And what did I do to deserve this insult? I allowed cars the right of way onto
the main highway. But obviously this young person considered that I made him
wait too long behind me while I applied my good manners on the road. To show me
his displeasure he came around on my outside beeping his horn full blast (bear
in mind that we drivers sit on the righthand side of our cars over here in OZ and
one of the road rules is that we give way to the right). He then proceeded to
come across at speed so that he was in front of me and then he did a sudden
jerk to the left while giving me aforementioned hand signal as he turned left
into a service station (mouthing apparent obscenities). Now, how urgent was his
need for petrol that he had to perform this amazingly bad mannered and ignorant
act, putting other drivers at risk, simply because I did what comes naturally
to me, I allowed the traffic coming from my right side right of way.
Fellow drivers of my generation will know exactly where I am
coming from when I say that in the “good ol’ days” we would not only give way
to other drivers but they would then give us a friendly salute to say thanks. Back
then we knew what good manners were. I sometimes wonder how some of these
younger drivers get their licences. I know we all think that we are the best
drivers in the world when we are young and perhaps impatient, but at times they
test my patience to the limits with their rudeness, and I wonder if they are
taught manners at home.
We were taught to respect our elders, something else that
came naturally. We would not think of sitting on a bus or train while an
elderly person stood. The men of our era always, without fail, opened doors for
us ladies, and walked on the outside of the footpath. Men might use plenty of
cussing and swear words while in the company of their mates but never let a
swear word pass their lips while in the company of females. And if they did let
one slip they would immediately apologize. These days I am becoming sick of
seeing movies that are peppered with blasphemies and curses, and by just as
many women as men. My mother would be disgusted if she heard some of the
language that seems to be the norm nowadays.
That’s not to say I haven’t used the odd swear word in my
books, but only when it is appropriate to the character. I make no apologies to
those who think me a prude, I have been known to let my tongue get the better
of me at times when no other word will suffice, but mostly my dogs are the only
ones who will hear.
It seems that nobody can solve the problem of whether manners maketh the man.
According to this writer’s point of view the problem today
is that men are frightened of being embarrassed if they perform an act of
chivalry. So, perhaps it is the women who are to blame. What man will offer to
hold your chair out for you or help you on with your coat ever again if he is
ridiculed by his friends or even the woman he is performing this mannerly act
for?
Here’s what Sting had to say about good manners. I’m sure he
won’t object to me using this brilliant quote:
“If "Manners maketh
man," as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself, no matter what they say."
So, there you go, men of
today (and sometimes women) have to stop being so self-conscious of doing what
is right. Instead of making rude gestures simply because a fellow driver has
made you wait a minute or two to be on your way, or a salesperson has held you
up at the supermarket, take time to pause and smile. Life is too short to be in
such haste to show others how rude and ignorant you are. I’m certain that this
young man who was so rude to me has many people in his life who love him
dearly—or perhaps he doesn’t and that is the root of his problems.
Remember Brian’s famous quote
from Monty Python’s Life of Brian “Always
look on the bright side of life.”
And then there’s the scourge
of the internet—the troll. Need I say more? Every writer has suffered
slanderous words aimed at their work by these faceless people who must surely
have very unhappy existences if they take pleasure in sniping at other’s
achievements.
Another of my mother’s
memorable words of wisdom was: “If you can’t say something nice about someone,
then best say nothing at all.”
