How To Get Away With Murder In Your Sleep by Stuart R. West

I murder a lot of people in my sleep.

Click on through to the other side for murderrrrrr...

Wait, wait, wait... Before you call the police, let me explain. No, I don't sleepwalk and stab snoozily away, nothing like that. Rather, I have a recurring nightmare where I've killed someone (that and the horrifying nightmare where I walk into the world's grossest public restroom barefoot, but that's a dream better left untold).

The odd thing is I never dream the actual killing, nor do I have any idea who my victims are. You'd kinda think those two issues might be important, but no my Id chooses to cut to the Dostoevsky-like chase: waiting for the noose to tighten around my throat as Johnny Law moves in.

What does this say about me as a person? According to the intronets, I have a guilt-ridden mind. Of what? No idea.

I searched my back history for various explanations... Maybe that kid in Kindergarten who I helped to harass because everyone else was? Maybe how I rudely ghosted a woman I dated in college? How about when I used to smoke, I'd toss the butts out on the highway? Or perhaps Karma's getting back at me for cutting in line for a roller-coaster at Worlds of Fun. I don't know...

But these dreams are long, stressful and convoluted. The other night I had my victim all ready to go, trundled up in a plastic trash bag (I assume they were extra, EXTRA strength), and ready to put out on the curb for trash pick-up day. Once the body was picked up and put in the back of the trash truck, I'd be in the clear. However...dogs kept sniffing around the bag. I had to continue shooing them away. Then neighborhood kids kept circling on their bikes, moving in closer, wanting to know what was in the bag ("You kids get outta my yard!"). Then, cop cars started slowly crawling by my house...looking...

How'd it all turn out? Beats me. I ended up at some ridiculous bus station with a miles-long line of people waiting to board the bus, on the lam with my mug plastered on newscasts throughout the terminal.

Much scarier than any horror flick or current political administration.

Apparently, my "guilt-ridden mind" doesn't stop at nightmares, either. Whenever I see a cop, I break out into a cold sweat, start humming some nonsensical tune, hoping the cop will ignore me, view me as an inconsequential, law-abiding citizen. It doesn't matter that I am a law-abiding citizen. It's just one of those things. "Capiophobia" is what my research assistant, Ms. Google, calls this bewildering fear of cops.

Clicky for...um...murder most massagey.

So. I figured that's why I gravitate toward murder mysteries, both writing and reading them. Unlike my nightmares, I can control the destiny and fate of my characters (mwah, hah, hahhhh!), ensuring that justice is served, and that the good guy and/or gal (generally falsely accused) are cleared of any bogus murder raps. It helps to set my day world right, even if there's nothing to be done about my nightmarish night-life.

And like my nightmares, the murders are never gruesomely delineated. It's the aftermath that's important.

Huh. As a kid, I always thought episodes of "Columbo" were boring. Why? Because they always showed from the on-set who the killer was. It became ninety long minutes of watching the killer sweat it out while Columbo ("Just one more thing...") circled the drain. 

I suppose I might like Columbo better now as I can definitely relate with the killers' increasing paranoia.

Sorta like my character, Zach, in the Zach and Zora comical mystery series. Only he's innocent. You see, Zach (a vapid, but big-hearted male entertainment dancer--don't call him a "stripper!"), has an uncanny knack for stumbling across dead bodies, generally becoming blamed as the killer. It's up to his sister sleuth, Zora, to investigate and clear his name, usually with her entourage of four kids in tow. Together they traverse a warped path to the truth, complete with characters straight outta my nightmares: The hippy parents! The singing and dancing detective! Menacing nannies! The paranoid computer geek! Corrupt politicians! Frenzied furries! Rival strippers! Murderous televangelists! The list goes on...

So, take that, guilt-ridden mind! (Freud would be proud.)

Click it like it's hot!

After You've Sent The Book Off - Janet Lane Walters #BWLAuthor #Writing #MFRWAuthor

After You’ve Sent the Manuscript Off.

 

After you’ve sent the manuscript off to the agent or editor, what do you do? Wait patiently for a report of start something new?

Since this is my latest release, I’m already well into the next story. Different sub-genre, This afternoon, I spent time with a friend who is fairly new to writing thought she has published several books. As we sat at a table in the mall waiting for people to ask questions about our organization, we talked about writing.

One thing she said gave me pause. She said she’d finished the edits on the book and sent it off. I asked her if she had started something new. She told me this was the first time she’d been able to do that. Usually when she sends a book out, she sits and waits to hear from all the agents or publishers before she starts on something new.

This sent me thinking about the other new writers I have known. Some of them have written that first book and sent it out. THEN THEY WAITED and waited. A few of them never wrote a second book. I really wonder how many writers wait to hear about the book that’s finished and off to an agent or editor and don’t write something new until they hear from all possible places.

I decided I was the odd one. Even while I was finishing the revisions and such on the first book I wrote, I was thinking about the next one. Now remember the first book I wrote made the journey from the house in a box with return postage included many times. By the time I finally did the very last revision using editor’s suggestions, I had three more books ready to send. Those were the days of snail mail.

These days things are different. Books are submitted electronically and can get a yes or no fairly quickly, most of the time. Still, sometimes it’s months between. Why do writers stay dormant? Puzzles me. My thought is when you type the end, you should have a good idea about what the next bok will be about. I’m at the midpoint of my recent write and I already know the opening lines of what will come next. So send out the book and start at least to plan the next one.

Though not the cover for the next one, this cover is for the first book in the trilogy.

 

Floods at the Annapolis Boat Show, by J.C. Kavanagh

Darkness Descends,

Book 2 of the award-winning Twisted Climb series

My partner Ian and I are avid sailors. We own a 36' Catalina sailboat named Escape Route II that we sail all over Georgian Bay and also the North Channel, which, by the way, has been voted the best fresh-water sailing destination in the world. We're both adventurous souls when it comes to sailing and we've decided that in the next few years, we're going to upgrade to a bigger boat and sail to the Caribbean and points further south. And maybe even cross the Atlantic to the Mediterranean.
So we've been checking out all kinds of boat manufacturers on the Internet, trying to decide which type and size to buy. It's difficult to gauge 'online' if a certain type of sailboat meets your needs because the best way is to actually board the boat. When it comes to checking out multiple sailboats, there's no better place than the Annapolis boat show in Maryland, U.S.A. It's the largest in-water sailboat show in North America, with more than 400 sailboats of all sizes and makes on display, just waiting for you to board. Annapolis is about a 10-hour drive from our home north of Toronto, Ontario so we made plans to stay for four days.
What a fantastic four days.

The weather couldn't have been nicer for mid-October: sunny and a very warm 22 degrees Celsius (that's about 72 degrees Fahrenheit). For Canadians, that's delightful 'summer' weather.

And then on Friday morning I received this notification on my cell phone.

And then we noticed this.

See the dock beside the boat on the right?

Yeah, that's underwater.

We kept walking, and saw this.

And this.

That's the Annapolis Waterfront Hotel. Except now it has water in the front and in the back.

We were told that the high tide, combined with the full moon and the after effects of Tropical Storm Melissa, were causing the flood waters. We felt uneasy but the locals all shrugged and said it was 'normal.'

We headed back the next day, Saturday, October 12. By noon, water levels had risen more than two feet above normal. Seawater laps over the docks, inch by inch. People start taking off their socks and shoes and walking through the cold, salt water. 

Water flows into a vendor tent as a little girl 

waits for her dad to save her.

I receive more weather alerts on my cell phone.

At 3:30, all power to the show is shut down. Imagine the voltage used by hundreds of boats all hooked up to mobile electric posts, all on docks that are 'fixed' to the seabed floor. Imagine the thousands of vendors losing power to their debit/credit card machines and all lighting in the vendor tents shut off. Imagine the level of fear in the tens of thousands of visitors when docks adjoining docks suddenly become submerged and exit routes to dry land become limited. Finding accessible exit routes is like finding your way out of a boat-lined maze.

I grab hold of the backpack on Ian's shoulder and hang on as he leads me through the maze and we weave our way through hundreds of boat-gawkers. Everyone is pretty calm, considering the docks are literally sinking beneath us. We head alongside the Passport sailboats - my fave!

 Cream-puff pics from the Passport yacht website

If I had an extra few million dollars lying around, this would be my next sailboat. A Passport 54.5. 

Triple spreader, two staterooms, two heads, linear galley and gigantic main salon. 

Finally, we're on dry-ish land and the show organizers decide, for safety reasons, to close the show early. We look behind and see the swell of people scrambling to get 'out' of the show area. 

 

Roads around the show have been closed and we watched the water's progress while waiting in line for our bus to take us to the parking area at the Naval Academy. Cars were prohibited from accessing the show and we were thankful that we decided to take advantage of the show's parking bus. What an adventure! It was our first time at the boat show and I know for certain it won't be our last.

Author event November 2

I'll be promoting my books at the Chapters store in Kanata, Ontario on Saturday, November 2. Come on by!

Till next time...

J.C. Kavanagh

The Twisted Climb - Darkness Descends (Book 2)

voted BEST Young Adult Book 2018, Critters Readers Poll and Best YA Book FINALIST at The Word Guild, Canada

AND

The Twisted Climb,

voted BEST Young Adult Book 2016, P&E Readers Poll

Novels for teens, young adults and adults young at heart

Email: author.j.c.kavanagh@gmail.com

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