A Gift From A Book by Eileen O'Finlan

             

 

                                     

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I grew up hearing lots of family stories from my mom about her youth in Bennington, Vermont. She often spoke fondly of a neighbor named Carleton Carpenter. She was very close friends with him when they were kids in the 1930s and '40s. After high school they went their separate ways - she to college, then a teaching career, marriage and family and he to New York and later Hollywood to act on Broadway and in movies. If you don't recognize his name, you will certainly remember his famous co-star Debbie Reynolds with whom he appeared in several movies.

About seven or eight years ago, I found out that Carleton Carpenter had written a memoir called The Absolute Joy of Work: From Vermont to Broadway, Hollywood, and Damn Near 'Round the World so I purchased a copy for my mom knowing that she would be interested in reading about the life and career of her old friend.

I got to thinking how great it would be if I could reconnect these two childhood friends now both in their nineties. It took some doing, but I finally managed to track down an address for Mr. Carpenter and wrote to him explaining who I was and why I was writing. I didn't tell my mom that I was doing this. I didn't want to disappoint her if it didn't work out.

Before long, I got a letter back. Well, two letters actually. He wrote one to me thanking me for contacting him and another letter to my mom. I'll never forget how surprised and delighted she was when I explained what I'd done and gave his letter to her. He also included his phone number. So began the renewal of an old friendship through letters and phone calls in which they caught each other up on all that had happened in each of their lives during the decades since they'd last seen each other.

Carleton Carpenter passed away on January 1, 2022. By then my mom was in a nursing home due to Alzheimer's Disease. I chose not to tell her since she spent most of her time living in her childhood and to her, he was once again her neighbor and playmate. Mom passed away in December of 2023.

Recently, while looking through my book collection, I came across the copy of The Absolute Joy of Work that I'd bought for my mom and decided to read it. The first part of the book is about his childhood in Bennington, Vermont. Mom had underlined the names of people and places that, obviously, she remembered from her own childhood there. 

Reading this part of the book was not only interesting in and of itself, but it also gave me an added connection to my mom. I love the stories she told of growing up in Vermont. I've been trying to keep them alive in my memory. My mom had a fascinating life and I would like to fictionalize her reminiscences for a future novel. She was the last of her siblings to pass so there is no one left to ask about that time and place. I must rely on only what I remember her telling me. 

Seeing the places in the book that my mom had marked have added to my cache of knowledge about the time and place of their childhoods. It was an unexpected gift as I felt as though Mom was speaking to me again, telling me more about her stories, sharing more details of her past, and letting me know that she's never truly gone from my life.

I consider books among the greatest gifts in life. Sometimes, they bestow their treasures in the most unexpected ways.

 

Mental Illness Awareness Week

Canada observed Mental Illness Awareness Week during October 6--12 of 2019. Established in 1992, it is coordinated by an alliance of national organizations called the Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health (CAMIMH.)

Mental Illness, historically treated as a matter of shame and denial, is starting to be discussed openly. Much of that credit belongs not only to organizations like CAMIMH, but also to cultural leaders and political parties taking the lead in exposing Canadians to the causes and cures of these debilitating conditions.

The treatment of the mentally ill in the past is a tale of horrors. For long, the mentally ill were considered to be demon-possessed and “cures” centered on driving out evil spirits by painful means.

We now know that mental illnesses are a function of an imbalance of certain brain chemicals. A healthy brain has proper amounts of the following four main chemicals: Dopamine, Glutamate, Norepinephrine and Serotonin. Dopamine controls behavior, emotion and cognition. Glutamate affects early brain development, cognition, learning and memory. Norepinephrine regulates stress levels and is vital in the “Fight vs. Flight” response and, finally, Serotonin plays a vital role in sleep, depression, appetite and mood.

Genetics plays an important role in the manifestation of mental illnesses, as does the environment. In many cases, the underlying genetic condition needs a “trigger,” such as deep stress, a life-changing event or drug use, to manifest. In some cases, mental illnesses are triggered by purely environmental or behavioral factors.

Mental illnesses are a ‘spectrum’ of disorders, with symptoms ranging from mild to severe. For example, while the general public associates schizophrenia with its worst symptoms, such as visual and auditory hallucinations, delusions or even split-personality disorder, the fact is, a large majority of patients are able to recover and lead productive lives. Long term studies show that 25% of all schizophrenic patients fully recover, 35% become much improved and are able to live independently, 15% improve but need an extensive support network, while only 15% need additional intervention or do not recover.

However, the stigma associated with mental illnesses remains its greatest challenge. It prevents the mentally ill from seeking early detection and devastates family members, who may even deny that the condition exists with their loved ones. By education and advocacy, Canadian society is slowly removing this stigma.

One in three Canadians will suffer from some sort of mental illness during their lives; about 8% will suffer from major depression. The number of serious mental sufferers is about equal to those suffering from Alzheimer’s. Thus, mental illness is closer to many Canadians than they may realize. A change in attitude and education is of great value to all Canadians.

Mohan Ashtakala is the author of "Karma Nation," a literary romance and "The Yoga Zapper," a fantasy novel. (www.mohanashtakala.com) Published by Books We Love (www.bookswelove.com.)