We've got Cows! By Tia Dani

(With apology to the writers' of the movie, "TWISTER".)

BUY FROM AMAZON

Whenever we work at a restaurant, it means we're usually creating a new book.

Beginning a new story, always fires us up, however, sanity also rears its annoying pointy head and sniffs, "Where are you going to start?"

Since our stories are generally character driven, we first like to know our characters inside and out. We talk about who they are and what they specifically want. Once we've got their names and backgrounds, flaws, and why they are driven, then we work on where we're going with the story.

Actually sometimes a plot line will come to us first, but that's a topic for another blog later on. (Has anyone picked up we're always saving things for other blogs?)

Back to brainstorming. Our second step is who opens the story in their point of view? Normally we gear our books toward the romance genre (Dani's strong point), so we usually start with the heroine. Sometimes the hero will protest and win the argument. We're really not gender driven.

But here's where it gets tricky. Once we know the characters, know the underlying plot, we have to add flesh and blood to the story…the stuff that not only draws readers avidly into the book, but ourselves as well.

We rely on our handy dandy writing class rule. Every scene needs three parts:

1. Goal. What does the character want? CHECK. DONE THAT.

2. Conflict. A series of difficulties characters must face on the way to reaching their goal. CHECK…WAIT! HOLD ON…We're not exactly there yet.

Several minutes (actually hours) of discussion, heavy research, and some wine, maybe a lot of wine, one of us (usually Tia) yells, "We got cows!"

Imagine in the restaurant the looks we get are quite comical. "Cows? What cows?" Several people look around nervously. "Where?"

We grin at everyone and explain we're co-authors, Tia Dani, and Tia's yell, "We've got cows." is an expression for seeing difficulties (like in the movie where cows fly in the middle of a tornado.) Some nod and say, "I see." Others…look confused then go back to eating.

Now onto Rule Three: 

The Ultimate Disaster. What keeps characters from reaching their goals? By this time Tia is jumping up and down, waving her hands at a bunch of unseen cows in her mind. (Remember how she loves a great disaster.) Even Dani can't help but get drawn into the excitement. She has her own cows. With rapid-fire description, she embellishes great love scenes to go along with Tia's disaster(s).

By this time we have new people around us and we have to explain all over again.

But the really funny thing is, our waitress, who's gotten to know us quite well, strolls by and says with a grin, "Katie, bar the barn door. Tia Dani has their cows!"

                              This is how we look by the time we've finished brainstorming a book.

                                       © Graphixparanoid | Dreamstime.com - Mad Cow Photo

                                        cow photos by @ElisaLocci/DreamstimeStockPhoto

To find out more about the writing team Tia Dani and our books visit us at: 

http://bookswelove.com/authors/tia-dani/
https://tiadaniauthor.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/tiadani.author
                                                          

Did My Kid Just SAY That? by Gail Roughton

     

     

You never know what’s coming out of a child’s mouth next. That’s one of the perks of having kids. They can embarrass you one minute, have you in stitches laughing the next, and occasionally, leave you open-mouthed and slack-jawed in sheer amazement.

All my kids have done it to me at one time or another and my grandchildren do it to me now. But the family did she just say what I think she said prize goes to my daughter, Rebecca. She was eight at the time, leaning back against the bathtub and savoring the feel of the hot water. Bath time was one-on-one time, hard to come by in a family of three children and two working parents, and I’d learned to grab it with each child whenever the opportunity arose. Sometimes we’d just talk, sometimes I’d read to them. I don’t know who looked forward to bath time more, me or them.

On this particular evening, I remember I had a book in my hand. It was a rather special one, at least to me. An edition of Tales of Uncle Remus I’d had since I was twelve or so myself, purchased at the Uncle Remus Museum in Eatonton, Georgia, home-stomping ground of the author, Joel Chandler Harris, and the oral folklore that gave birth to the Uncle Remus stories. Okay, I was a nerd even at twelve when computers weren’t even thought of, I’ve never denied it. We’d been reading a story or two every night for a week or so. But Brer Rabbit wasn’t on my child’s agenda that night.

She sat straight up, fixed me with the amber eyes so large and gorgeous they’ve made strangers stop and stare since birth and asked me, “Mama, are we ever born again?”

Not a question Mama was expecting, I’ll tell you that. I wracked my brain for its possible source. Maybe she’d caught a telecast of a Church service on television? A talk show, maybe? Or heard a radio show I wasn’t aware of?

“You mean like — are we born again when we die and go to Heaven?”

“No, no, no!!!” Her hand slapped the water. “I mean when we die, are we ever born again, here, on earth? In another body?”

 Eight, I thought to myself. She’s EIGHT! Where the heck is this coming from?! I wasn’t so startled I didn’t recognize this as the most basic description of reincarnation I’d ever heard, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why she’d have thought of it. I fell back on the best child-rearing advice I’d ever gotten. No, not from my mother, or aunt, or mother-in-law, or best friend. From Atticus Finch of To Kill A Mockingbird. That fictional single parent and his major guideline of child-rearing got me through a lot while raising my kids, especially Rebecca, to-wit: When a child asks you a question, you tell them the truth. They don’t necessarily have to understand exactly what you’re saying, they just have to know you’re telling them the truth. Because they’ll know if you’re lying to them. 

So I gathered my wits about me and took a deep breath. “Well, that is, in fact, what many of the world’s religions believe, yes. That when you die you’re born again in another body.”

“But what do you believe?”

Great. Couldn’t avoid that, could I? “I believe it’s a probability it’s a possibility, yes.” I haven’t spent my entire adult professional life in a law office for nothing. “Becca, what on earth made you think of this in the first place?”

“I don’t know, I was on the playground the other day and it just seemed like I’d been there before, done the same things before, just in another body.”

Ah! De’ja vu, I thought. I was, in fact, rather relieved. A strange phenomenon, to be sure, but one pretty much everybody’d experienced at some time or another. I should have left well enough alone. But of course I didn’t. I just had to ask. “Well, then—who were you?” I mean, she was eight, of course she’d say, “A rock star.” “An Indian maiden.” “Cinderella”. Maybe even “An Alien Princess”. Something exotic, something dear to the imagination of childhood. Nope. Something utterly, completely, down-to-earth. Something realistic, and assuming that any universal recycling program called reincarnation does exist, completely possible.  “I don’t know," she said slowly.  "But I was black and had a lot of pigtails.”

From nowhere, I remembered my mother laughing about the stories one of my older brother told when he was small. Stories about “a long time ago when I was an old man.” So let the academics and professors and religious leaders debate all they want. I’ve never looked at reincarnation the same way since. I never will. Nor will I ever forget that night when out of the mouth of a babe came that beautifully basic and elemental description of such an extremely complicated and controversial belief, stripped right down to its barest element.  You know what they say about the sensitivity of children and animals. They know things.  Things we don't.  Or possibly...things we used to know but have forgotten?

Besides, I’m a writer. I’ve told you before—we never waste anything. We just recycle it into these things we call novels. Like my War-N-Wit, Inc. novellas. Wherein my heroine Ariel Anson Garrett wasn’t so sure about that thing known as reincarnation either. And boy, was she in for a surprise!

CLICK TO PURCHASE FROM AMAZON

Four in One Boxed Set

Find all Gail Roughton titles at

Books We Love

And at Amazon

You can also visit at her Blog

and on Facebook

What movie would you watch again and again? By Jamie Hill

 

CLICK TO BUY

Anyone on Facebook has seen the status game: "Name a movie you've watched over and over again". I can think of several, mostly they're ones that are being shown on TV. When I channel surf I'll stop to watch parts, if not all. Sister Act I and II were playing a couple weeks ago on Saturday and Sunday, and I watched parts of both of them again. We never miss a showing of Jaws, Pretty Woman, parts of Titanic and probably the favorite in our house, Jurassic Park. Our consensus is that the first movie was best, the second was so-so, and the third was pretty good, better than the second. I liked Sam Neill's character better than Jeff Goldblum's, and was tickled that they included him and Laura Dern in the third.

A while back word came out of a fourth Jurassic Park movie called Jurassic World. Chris Pratt is an up and coming Hollywood actor and seems to fit the leading character role just fine. From the little I've seen from the previews, it looks like there's a mother who allows her two sons to go alone to the Jurassic World theme park which is finally open. (Excuse me, didn't she watch any of the movies?)

Anyway, June 12 is just around the corner and although we don't go to the theater to see many movies, my family will be making a trip to watch this one on the big screen. Absolutely can't wait!

I got to wondering if this theory also applies to books. Is there a book you'd read again and again? I have a few that I've saved and reread over time. Go Ask Alice is one that I can start reading and will sit there until I've finished the whole darn thing. I'll reread parts of The Horse Whisperer. But generally, my reading time is short enough as it is, and my 'to be read' pile is too large to reread books when there are so many new and interesting ones out there. 

I must admit, when I open my own books to grab an excerpt or something like that, often I'll get caught up reading and will follow thorough to the end. When I finish I get that happy feeling that readers get when they close a book, only it's multiplied when you're also the author of said book. That's one of the most amazing feelings there is.

If you're in the mood to reread, or perhaps read for the first time, some hot cop romantic suspense, why not start with book one of my series, A Cop in the Family? Jack and Crystal remain close to my heart to this day. Enough so that I wrote two more books which included them, so readers could see where they ended up. 

I just love happy endings! (And watching dinosaur movies from the comfort of my chair.)

Find Family Secrets and my other titles at Amazon and other book sellers, also available in paperback by request at a bookstore near you.

Family Secrets: http://amzn.com/B004478IN6

Jamie Hill's website: http://www.jamiehill.biz/

Jamie's Publisher, Books We Love: http://bookswelove.net/authors/hill-jamie/

17th Century Recipes by Katherine Pym

http://amzn.com/B00I6KOKL6

From the book: Samuel Pepys' Penny Merriments, Being a Collection of Chapbooks, full of Histories, Jests, Magic, Amorous Tales of Courtship, Marriage and Infidelity, Accounts of Rogues and Fools, together with Comments on the Times. Selected and Edited by Roger Thompson of the University of East Anglia at Norwich, 1977. 

Merchantman being attacked by Pirates

Whew, what a mouthful. Our titles these days are much shorter, with less syllables, easier to remember. To remember this, I simply refer to it as: Penny Merriments, a tome I found in a used bookstore and considered it a great find. It has all sorts of wonderful information, like recipes to make one beautiful, or a recipe for the newest way to roast a hare. It sends me right back into the era of my choice...

17th century England started out with traders going to far distant shores, but the cost was extensive. Spices were gathered through the Levant Company (owned by noblemen and gentlemen of quality) and the fledgling East India Company. As the century moved forward, their ships went to places already taken by the Spanish and Portuguese. 

First Anglo/Dutch War

 
The Dutch East India Company (VOC) began at about the same time as England's, but they weren't hampered by the religious upheaval and civil wars England endured during the first half of the century. The Dutch VOC had a leg up on English merchant shipping until Cromwell decided enough was enough and went to war with The Netherlands. This is known as the First Anglo/Dutch war (1652-54), and fought entirely at sea. This war were over trade, who could monopolize which ports in the East and West Indies.

With that said, the recipes below show an inordinate amount of spices, which were very costly. During the reign of King James I, a fight to near death took place between VOC and English Merchantman in the South Seas that decimated the nutmeg crops on Pulo Run Island, in the Banda archipelago. A once rich source of nutmeg, it never fully recovered. 

Citrus fruits, dates, pepper, cotton cloth, and other fruits and spices were trekked across the desert sands to ports the Levant held in the Mediterranean, then imported via ship to London. Once these commodities hit the London markets, they proved costly for the middling English household.

Fleet of East Indiamen at Sea

The below recipes can only come from later in the 17^th century, and were directed to the more well-to-do. Middling folk who could read, enjoyed the thoughts of these, though...

"To Roast a shoulder of mutton with Oysters the best way. Take one not too fat nor too lean, open it in divers places, stuff your oysters in with a little chopt pennyroyal (mint or basil), baste it with butter and claret wine, then serve it up with grated nutmeg, yolks of eggs, ginger, cinnamon, butter and red wine vinegar."

"To Stew a Leg of Lamb the best way.

Slice it and lay it in order in your stewing-pan, seasoned with salt and nutmeg, adding a pound of butter, and half a pint of claret, with a handful of sliced dates, and the like quantity of currants, and make the sauce with the yolk of two eggs, a quarter pint of verjoice (acid juice from sour or unripe fruit), and two ounces of sugar. Boil them up, and put them over the meat, serving up hot together."

"The Art of Beautifying the Hands, Neck, Breast and Face: Harmless and Approved, with other Rare Curiosities.

To make the hands arms white, clear and smooth. Take a quarter of a pound of sweet almonds, blanch and bruise them, with a quarter of a pint of oil of roses, and the like quantity of betony-water (plant of the mint family): heat them over a gentle fire; and then press out the liquid part, and it will serve for either hands or face anointed therewith."

"To take away Freckles, Morphew (scurfy skin) or sunburn.

Steep a piece of copper in the juice of lemon till it be dissolved (the juice), and anoint the place with a feather morning and evening, washing it off with white wine." (Not sure how that one worked.)

"To take off any scurf from the hands and face.

Take water of tartar, that is, such wherein calcined (burnt to a powder) tartar has been infused, anoint the place, and wash it as the former (with white wine)."

"To sweeten the Breath, and preserve the Teeth and Gums.

Boil a handful of juniper berries, a handful of sage, and an ounce of carraway seeds in a quart of white wine, til a third part be consumed: strain it and wash your mouth with it morning and evening, suffering a small quantity to pass down: you may whiten the teeth by rubbing them with pumice stone."

So... who wants to try one of these recipes and let me know how it works? I'd especially like to know the results of whitening your teeth with pumice stone. Or should I do a disclaimer? Don’t do this at home!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many thanks to wikicommons for the pictures:

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license, &

Roger Thompson, Samuel Pepys' Penny Merriments, Being a Collection of Chapbooks, full of Histories, Jests, Magic, Amorous Tales of Courtship, Marriage and Infidelity, Accounts of Rogues and Fools, together with Comments on the Times. Selected and Edited by of the University of East Anglia at Norwich, 1977.

A Great Sense of Humor...

CLICK TO PURCHASE

I believe it was Tommy Cooper, British prop comedian and magician, who once said "Always leave them laughing." Personally, I love to laugh and enjoy novels that make me laugh, think, and truly enjoy the time I spend absorbed in their pages. If you were to catch a glimpse into my house, my kids and I are always bantering jokes back and forth. My middle son usually wins - until his younger brother pipes up with a one-liner that stops us all cold and everyone ends up too busy laughing to come up with more jokes.

In every novel I have written, I always use humor to keep the tone light and the story flowing along when things are getting tense. This is a scene from The Bakery Lady that puts a little levity in the first meeting between Leo Blue and Christina Davidson:

Leo moved toward the table for a better look, standing as close to Christina as he dared. She smelled as sweet and spicy as her desserts. He should move away before he said or did anything stupid. “Those look good.”

“I hope you’re talking about the cookies.” She scowled. “They’ll look even better after they’re baked.”

He grinned, sitting on a nearby stool. “I hope we’re still talking about the cookies.”

Humor keeps a good mystery from getting too dark,especially in the case of a cozy mystery. Even if it's just from that one character who is the foil for the serious detective. The sidekick who becomes a beloved character in his own right. Leo Blue started off has the entertaining sidekick in The Bookstore Lady, then took over until I had to feature him in The Bakery Lady. People seemed to love is quick wit.

Tonight I'm blessed with a houseful of laughter thanks to my youngest son's sleepover birthday party and a houseful of chatty teenagers. I'm bound to find fodder for another book in all the nonsense as they clown around. While not everyone may love a clown, who doesn't love a good chuckle now and then?
Keep Smiling!

Diane Bator
Wild Blue Mysteries:
The Bookstore Lady
The Mystery Lady
The Bakery Lady

DE-CLUTTERING - TO DO OR NOT TO DO - MARGARET TANNER

For a short time only, 99cents/99pence - Kindle Countdown Deal. 

BUY FROM AMAZON

THE PERILS OF NOT DE-CLUTTERING – MARGARET TANNER

I am a clutter collector from way back. I figure why throw anything out; you never know when you might need it. I inherited the hoarder gene.

“Waste not, want not” was my mother’s motto and she lived by it the whole of her life. Maybe it was because she lived through the great depression of the 1930’s and World War 2, that she would use and re-use, save and squirrel away stuff. Our house was never untidy, because most of the hoarded items were well out of sight. 

I should have learned my lesson after my dear mother died about 20 years ago and my sister and I had to clear out her house. To say it was a nightmare was an understatement. It took weeks. My mother had kept receipts from the 1940’s, even her World War 2 ration book. And speaking of books, she had hundreds of them. Then there were the ornaments, pretty little knick-knacks that reposed on every shelf or level surface in the house. Boxes of china. Well, you get the idea.

Now you would think that after all this trauma and angst, I would have dashed home and gone through my own cupboards.  I didn’t, but I did take a lot of my mother’s stuff with me.  Well, how could I let it go?  All those little treasures.

My mother-in-law passed away, same story, I kept a lot of her things too. I was a hoarder.  It came as naturally as breathing or eating.

Well friends, retribution did come. The youngest of our sons finally left home, so hubby and I decided it was time to downsize. We bought a smaller house, and put our larger house on the market. “We’ve got a lot of stuff here, we’ll have to get rid of it,” hubby says.

Over my dead body. “No, we won’t do anything rash,” I said. “There’s plenty of time to work out what we want to keep.”

A week before the auction of our house, my husband had to have heart by-pass surgery, so I had to go on with the sale alone. After the auction and hubby’s successful operation, I had to start packing, because when he came home he couldn’t do anything for eight weeks. I really hit the panic button because we had a short settlement. Forty days to clear out all our stuff, that of my mother and mother-in-law (things I had kept, and shouldn’t have). Well, it was a nightmare. I did most of it on my own.  I don’t know how many trips I made to donate all these “treasures” to the second hand thrift shop   And I did help the less fortunate - big time.  The thrift shop manager must have thought I was Mother Teresa re-incarnated.

It was terrible. I cried because I had to give away my ‘treasures, mum’s treasures and my mother in-law’s treasures’. Worse still, was the time it took to pack them and deliver them to the thrift shop. 

With the clock ticking, I had to be ruthless – and I was.

If you are even contemplating moving house, start to get rid of your surplus stuff early.  In fact, don’t collect it in the first place.  A lady once told me that if she didn’t wear a dress for a year, she was probably never going to wear it again, and she got rid of it. Smart lady. Wish I had such courage.  I still cling to my favourite dresses, hey I might lose weight and they will fit me again???

The moral of this story is -  don’t hoard. De-clutter as much as possible, because one day you will have to sort it out, or your children will have to sort it out.  

The same goes for your writing.  Be ruthless. If the manuscript you have expended blood, sweat and tears over isn’t working, discard it.  Temporarily cast it into your bottom drawer is what I mean. Don’t destroy it, because you might be able to resurrect it at a later date.  Start on something fresh and new. Once you get your writing tastebuds tingling again with a new premise, a feisty heroine and a spunky hero, the words will start flowing until they become a torrent.

Never give up. It is a steep climb to the top of the publishing mountain, but oh what a view once you get there.

http://bookswelove.net/authors/tanner-margaret/

Margaret Tanner writes spicy historical romance set in Australia.

FALSELY ACCUSED

1820’s England. Robbed of his birthright and falsely accused of murder, American Jake Smith, is exiled to the penal colony of Australia.

IT'S MY FUNERAL, AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT by Shirley Martin

CLICK TO BUY

 

(Avador is on Amazon Countdown for a couple more days, don't miss your chance to buy this 5 book set for only $1.99)

Americans are living longer and healthier lives. Sixty is the new forty, and eighty is the new sixty.  Still, by the time you reach your golden years, you should start planning for the time you will no longer exist on this earthly plane.

Many churches, and I suppose synagogues, too, conduct classes in funeral planning.  My own church provides a form in which you can name the Biblical passages you want read  and the hymns you want sung for your funeral service.  After all, you wouldn't want to attend your funeral and hear the congregation sing hymns that are not among your favorites. On the church form, I've requested two of my favorites: "Lord, You Have Come to the Lakeshore" and "Here I Am, Lord."

The Bible contains many beautiful and memorable passages.  Besides the Twenty-third Psalm, The Book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter Three, is among my favorites:  "To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose unto the heaven...."  From the New Testament, I especially like the Book of Revlation, Chapter Twenty-one:  "...and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying...."

On a more practial level, you should consult a reputable lawyer and hire him/her to draw up a will.  Be specific, so that there is no disagreement over who gets what.  Name an executor and make sure he/she knows where all of your important papers are, such as your insurance papers and aforesaid will.

I even wrote my own obituary. All my sons have to do is fill in the blanks.

Funeral customs have differed among cultures and throughout the centuries. Think of the ancient Egyptian pharoah.  His whole life centered around his death.  Workers slaved for years for the construction of the pyramid that would house his prized possessions. It's obvious that the ancient Egyptians believed in an afterlife, one in which they could enjoy all of the objects that meant so much to them in their mortal lives.

The ancient Celts, too, believed in an afterlife.  They were frequently buried with their personal effects, such as clothes, jewelry, and even food.  Belief in an afterlife was an important aspect of the Celtic religion, although they apparently had no conception of reward or punishment after death. They also believed that butterflies housed the souls of their loved ones who had passed on.

For most Americans, a death in the family is a time of solemnity and grief.  Not so with the Celts. For them, death was a time of joy, for the soul was returning to its home.

In parts of Indonesia, funerals are lively affairs that involve the whole village. These festivals can last anywhere from days to weeks. Families save up to provide lavish funerals where a sacrificial buffalo will carry the deceased to the afterlife. Until that time, which can take place years after physical death, the dead relative is laid in a special room in the family home and referred to as "one who is sick" or "one who is asleep."

Many Buddhists of Mongolia and Tibet belive that the soul moves on after death,while the body becomes an empty vessel.  To return it to the earth, the body is chopped into pieces and placed on a mountaintop, which exposes it to the elements.  This practice has been done for thousands of years and is still done today.

Especially in the West, more and more  people are opting for cremation instead of burial for the simple reason that we are running out of space for caskets.

If Michael Crichton, author of "The Great Train Robbery" is to be believed, the Victorians placed a bell in the casket of the deceased, in case the "deceased" was still alive. That way, he/she could let the family know that the time for burial had not yet arrived.  This isn't as far-fetched as it may seem.  No doubt we have all read about a person being pronounced dead, a sheet thrown over him and taken to the morgue, only to throw off the sheet and sit up, scaring the bejeebies out of anyone who happens to be there.


Shirley Martin enjoys writing in different genres.  If you like historical, paranormal, or fantasy novels, you have many of my romance novels to choose from.  I have three books in print:  The time travel romance, "Dream Weaver", and two fantasy romances, "Night Secrets" and "Night Shadows."  Look for my books at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
htp://bookswelove.net/authors/martin-shirley

Where the blue blazes did THAT come from? by Stuart R. West

Hey there, Stuart R. West, new kid on the block . As a writer, "where do I get my ideas?" is the most frequently asked question I hear. And I'm sure all of the other Books We Love wonderful writers get the same question.

Wish I had a good answer.

Usually, when asked this, I end up looking like Bambi at the barrel-end of a shotgun. I stare, stammer, try to be witty. Stomp my hooves for a bit. But honestly? No clue.

I suppose I look at it as gathering my supper at a salad bar. I pick and pull and consider various leafy plot ideas, pile them on the plate of my mind, garnish them with what I hope is tasty style, top it off with a heaping dollop of personality. My dressing of preference is humor, heart, and horror. Steaming hot jalapenos of plot twists really set it off. I know, I know, it's an unlikely combination of flavors, but hey! It tastes great at the time, even if it burns when it leaves.

Finally, I let my palate of imagination hunger for the best. I demand shrimp. I know it's hidden away in the refrigerator of my mind somewhere.

Not good enough an answer?

Okay. Most of my books start with an image that strikes me. Out of the blue. Then I take it from there. For instance, I turned bored men sitting on the "husband bench" at the mall into a serial killer thriller/black comedy. I came up with a question, what might these men REALLY be doing there? They certainly didn't have many shopping bags nestled between their stretched out legs.

But what do I know?

Think I'll print this off, keep it in my pocket. Because, as I said, whenever anyone asks me where I get my ideas? I freeze, anything interesting or amusing completely gone the way of the leisure suit. This'll be my "get outta jail card."

  

Visit Stuart R. West at Books We Love

Coming soon from Books We Love: Ghosts of Gannaway

BATTLE OF THE BUNDT by Juliet Waldron

A “big” birthday just come and gone. (Clearly not the one above!) Our favorite local pastry bakery has gone out of business. I’m a scratch baker, but not a professional, nor a yuppie with a ton of equipment and endless dollars. Still, I bake bread weekly, and always baked all the family b-day cakes for my kids. I figured “what the hell, Archie!” This year, I will make one for myself.

I dragged a Bundt pan from the back of the cabinet and dug out the recipe book with which it came. I looked up recipes which would fit in the “mini” pan, found one that appealed, shopped ingredients and then began. I chopped cherries and prepped chocolate, sifted dry ingredients and creamed the butter, sugar and eggs. Then, I revved the mixer and was soon ready to pour batter into the pan. To my surprise, it filled almost to the brim.

I went back to the recipe book and checked again. Yes—this was specifically for the “mini” pan...

Full steam ahead.  I wasn’t listening to the shrill little voice of baker’s experience which was telling me that this cake would, shortly, be all over the bottom of the oven. Still, I didn’t put a cookie sheet underneath it. Why, I can find no reason for, except, maybe, sheer stubbornness, or a sad tendency to shoot myself in the foot.  

After all, this recipe book has never let me down before…

Well, as the voice of experience had warned, Vesuvius erupted. I turned the oven off, got gloves and the cookie sheet I should have put under no matter what “the book said.” Anyone with a bad back who has stooped to reach into a hot oven after a molten tub of something knows how scary this is, but it had to be done. Somehow I got the cake pan onto the sheet without more spilling or burning myself. I turned the oven back on, and, an instant later, the floor of the oven burst into flames. After staring for a moment, and realizing that with so much fuel, it wasn’t about to give up any time soon, I retrieved a box of baking soda. I put out the fire, after turning the oven off once again.

Okay! I’d got the fire out, and the cake pan situated so that the still lively volcanic action would no longer end up on the oven floor. Mad at myself, but not yet ready to despair, I went back to cleaning the kitchen, washing dishes, putting away the mixer, etc. and then started on the frosting. Half an hour later, I realized I hadn’t turned the oven back on again.

Well, this was a duel now, between me and my own folly.  I turned the oven on at a lower temperature and began to bake -- again. By using a thermometer, I would eventually make a decision about when the cake was done. 

At last, I removed it—best estimate—and after it had cooled a bit, and after a long session of chipping the lava flow off the sides of the pan and cookie sheet, I managed to pick it up and turn the cake over onto a plate.  Believe it or not, a few minutes later, the darn thing slipped out of the pan, and in proper Bundt form! About an hour later, I frosted it and my husband and I ate it--and ate it--for the best part of a week. It was—somehow—a totally yummy, moist chocolate cherry cake, despite all the misadventures it and I had been through together.

~~Juliet Waldron

Not only is Juliet Waldron a warm and funny storyteller when relating personal experiences, she is an extremely talented and masterful author of historical novels like Mozart's Wife, Roan Rose, Genessee, and many more, including her latest, a novelist's history of Alexander Hamilton, America's first Secretary of the Treasury, which has debuted to rave reviews.  Click the cover to get a copy from Amazon.

 

http://www.bookswelove.net/authors/juliet-waldron/

More about my historical novels:

http://www.julietwaldron.com

Just Me and My Besties--Slugging a Path Through Those 'Sagging Middles' By Connie Vines

PURCHASE FROM AMAZON

Yes, I have friends, associates, family, and other writers to converse with though out my day.

Yes, I network, attend workshops, and belong to online writing chapters.  I even have other writer friend only a text message away.

But at 3 AM, when I'm slugging my way through a 'not-quite-working' middle of a novel, and I've started talking to myself.  It's nice to have a BFs at your disposal.

While the focus of the movies and television seems to be on helpfulness of minions and the like--I prefer the company of a good listener--or cheering section.

Well, it's not conventional--but then I'm a bit quirky, most writer's are.  After all we do spend quite a bit of time in our own company.

For a person who did not indulge in, or particularly like, dolls as a child  (I held my baby doll by a foot allowing her head bounced around in the dirt).  I did like monster movies (The old Universal Monster Movies).  I collected the model kits and read all the magazines about horror make-up and read bios about the great actors.  So I guess this type of cheering section makes perfect sense.
(See qualifying statement in earlier paragraph).

So did I come up with any sure fire way to get through those 'sagging story middles', with or without the help of Besties?

I've changed to Pandora Radio for evening listen, and Slacker Radio during the day. When I'm working though a snag, B.J. Thomas is usually singing in the background.

Let's face it. the middle of a story can be depressing.  Our hero becomes overwhelmed.  Things look savage and harsh.  Paths disappear (for both the hero and, unfortunately, the writer).

To quote, Nancy Kress, The function of the middle is to develop the implicit promise made by a story's beginning.

After all, a promise is a promise.

This is when we must ask ourselves, whose story is this?
Who are the point of view characters?
What is the main plot line (throughline is the film term)?

Not certain?  Boy, do you have a problem!

Getting a clear focus on your plot line can make the middle of your book easier to write.  Where should the emphasize be--which scenes, which characters.  I used to rely on 3 x 5 index cards, now I use several writing programs and apps.

Since I write in series of threes: chapter 1-3, 4-7, etc. my middle seems longer because it over laps sections.  I also like to have 3 scenes in each chapter, with a scene often breaking at a chapter's end and ending in the following chapter opening.

Still experiencing a bit of trouble?  Choose three novels you know well.  For each summarize the plot line in a sentence or two.

Jane Eyre: Penniless in a region of England she does not know, Jan experiences three bitter days of begging, sleeping outside, and nearly starving.

 Dracula: One of Dr. Seward's mental patients, Renfield, lets Dracula into the asylum where the others are staying, allowing the count to prey on Mina.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!:  When Linus sees a shadowy figure rising from the moonlit patch, he assumes the Great Pumpkin has arrived, and faints.

Now, pull out your WIP or a few of your unfinished stores.  Summarize its plot line.  List the scenes.  How does each scene advance the plot, develop character, contribute to the middle plot line?

Do you need to add an additional scene?  Should a scene have more emotional intensity?  I find this to be true in my stories.  My stories are character driven and  the emotional reactions are a force which drives my plot lines.

Keep your characters from having a mid-life crisis by shoring up those 'sagging middles', and relying on your "Besties".

Happy Reading,

Connie

novelsbyconnievines
Word Slinger
follow Connie on Twitter

The medieval sound of the horn - by Vijaya Schartz

Nothing says medieval like the sound of a horn in the distance, filling a valley, bouncing off mountains, and reminding everyone around that something important, or dreadful, was about to happen. These horns were made of animal horns or ivory, hence the name. Often they were sculpted or engraved with intricate carvings.

My first recollection of reading about such horns was in school, while learning about Charlemagne and his loyal nephew Roland, who was isolated and attacked at the end of the column, by the enemy, in the Pyrenees. The mournful sound of Roland's horn, named Oliphant, called for help but remained unheard by Charlemagne at the front of the legion. As a result, Roland was killed, despite his unbreakable sword, Durandal. At the time it was a tragedy. Roland was Charlemagne's favorite nephew, and history says that he was betrayed by the knight Ganelon.

 Nothing can set the mood in a medieval novel, like the sound of a horn. Every time I read or write about it, it gives me goosebumps. Whether it's a village fire, an invasion, a natural danger, the horn is often a precursor of calamity.

Even now, we use sirens to warn the population of tsumani, tornadoes, and other dangers. Their sound imitates the mournful lament of the ancient horn.

In BELOVED CRUSADER, my latest book in the Curse of the Lost Isle series, the Crusaders, like the armies of Charlemagne, set out and stop to the sound of the horn. Actually, they also take the Charlemagne road, that crossed Europe from its northern point to the famed city of Constantinople. Hope you enjoy the read.

Vijaya Schartz, author

Blasters, Swords, Romance with a Kick

http://www.vijayaschartz.com

http://bookswelove.net/authors/schartz-vijaya/