Why Write Fan Fiction When You Could Write Something that REALLY Blows? by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

Get it? Blows... if not then read the title again, and strap in for a punderful time with your favorite fun-loving blogger/extrovert, needs-to-get-out-in-the-sun-more, weirdo. 

I know, I know... I only have one... and it's in my room.

So for those of you who don't know what fan fiction is, allow me to explain. Fan fiction is when you watch the first four seasons of Supernatural, realize that the subsequent seasons suck and Dean is obviously meant to be with Castiel, and finally after a stupid amount of time writing alternate realities in your mind, you post these alternate realities--which are obviously better and why the producers of the show didn't contact me about my ideas, I'll never know-- on the internet. 

Did you catch that? No? Okay... how about this!

Though I must admit I never actually posted my fan fiction on the internet, in retrospect I'm glad I didn't. It was entirely the fault of dial-up, mind you--the age old tradition of using one's phone line to obtain a crappy internet connection. But it was enough to keep my alternate ideas away from the public eye or becoming something like Fifty Shades. 

Yes, that's right. I'm old. PlayStation 1 old...

There's a PlayStation 5 now?!

Also yes, Fifty Shades started out as a fan fiction... and yes... UGH! I still hate it.

So, I'm not saying that fan fiction is lame. I mean a lot of it is... and a lot of it's just smutty bullhump that some people like ejaculating online, *COUGH!* E. L. James **COUGH COUGH!** but not all of it's bad! I promise! In fact, my first foray into writing fanfics--that's a little word we pros like to use to seem like we know a thing or two--was definitely what got me on the path to published writer bliss! And despite my fan fiction being anything BUT cool, it was practice, and practice makes perfect...

or at least it made me a less crappy writer...

Ahem! You weren't supposed to laugh at that...

But my point--and yes I sometimes DO have one--is that although fan fiction is a self-indulgent mess that we love developing and getting into, sometimes we ought to turn off Pornhub, go out into the world, and find a human being by ourselves that we can love and cherish and make ours forever and ever and ever!

Buffalo Bill gets what I'm sayin'!

I mean, copyright aside, I'd be cool with peeps writing fan fiction of MY work. It meant I had a fan! But then again, I'm not so sure I'd recommend any aspiring writer to get one foot in the door by doing that unless you want to change pretty much everything to avoid lawsuits. 

Did you know Christian Gray was really Edward Cullen? Did you know what's-her-face was really Bella Swan? E. L. James proves that anything can be possible! But I wouldn't bank on those re-written fanfic bucks just yet...

In fact, some writer's vehemently oppose it. Look at ol' George...

We would the blog be without George? 

He believes that it's a bad route to being a professional writer. Build your own worlds and characters! he says! I tend to agree with him... though I also agree actually finishing what you started to write is good advice too... *hint hint George* 

So! I guess the moral of the story is: Write Fan Fiction! Make bucks! But be sure to change just enough around so Lionel Huts doesn't come knocking at your door...                                                                                                Or!--the alternative--Don't Write Fan Fiction! Don't even finish your series! Make bucks! Sell out and help produce a great series on HBO that ends like a blind date with bad breath. 

Yes... I signed the Game of Thrones Petition...

And no, I have no idea what I'm doing. No one does. At least that's what I tell myself at night to feel better. 

Just do you and have fun so later you can go back to crying over your manuscript in peace...

Where are my fan fiction or didn't finish my work in progress BUCKS? *cries*

 

Weather Expressions by J. S. Marlo

 

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

I’m in Calgary visiting my son. It’s 38C (100F) outside and it’s not 3pm yet. It wouldn’t have mattered if I stayed home in Northern Alberta since the heat wave is pretty much cooking the entire province to a crisp.

 

I’m not a summer person and I don’t function well in the heat. I would pick -40C (-40F) over +40C (+104F) any day of the year. I stumbled onto that quote yesterday: “I better get my act together…I couldn’t take hell’s heat”. I’m not sure I want to get my act together, but I don’t doubt this Canadian girl would never survive hell’s heat LOLOL

 

Since I have a few hours to kill until I must take granddoggie for a quick walk, I decided to browse the Internet for weather expressions and their meanings. Here’s what I found...

 

-       If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen

Meaning: If you can't cope with or handle the pressure in a given situation, you should remove yourself from that​ situation

 

-       To turn the heat on someone

Meaning: To pressure someone

 

-       In the heat of the moment

Meaning: At a moment when one is overly angry, excited, or eager, without pausing to consider the consequences

 

-       A breath of fresh air

Meaning: A relief in the form of a person or a situation

 

-       A ray of sunshine

Meaning: Someone or something that brings happiness

 

-       To be on cloud nine

Meaning: To be very happy

 

-       To have your head in the clouds

Meaning: To not know what is going on around you

 

-       To chase rainbows

Meaning: To pursue unrealistic goals

 

-       When it rains, it pours

Meaning: When one thing goes wrong, some other things will also go wrong

 

-       To take a rain check

Meaning: To decline an invitation that you may accept another time

 

-       To rain cats and dogs

Meaning: To rain heavily

 

-       To spit in the wind

Meaning: To waste time on something futile

 

-       To steal someone’s thunder

Meaning: To upstage someone

 

-       To feel under the weather

Meaning: To feel unwell or ill

 

-       To weather a storm

Meaning: To survive a dangerous or difficult time

 

-       A storm in a teacup

Meaning: Unnecessary anger or worry about an unimportant or trivial matter

 

-       To knock someone cold

Meaning: To strike someone so hard that they lose consciousness.

 

-       Revenge is a dish best served cold

Meaning: Revenge that takes place far in the future, after the offending party has forgotten how they wronged someone, is much more satisfying.

 

-       To be snowed under

Meaning: To be extremely busy with work or things to do

 

-       A snowbird

Meaning: Someone who leaves their home to stay in a warmer climate during the winter months.

 

-       In the dead of winter

Meaning: The coldest, darkest part of winter

 

I like winter and I’m French Canadian, so my favorite weather is actually a French expression: Faire un froid de canard. It means “to be bitterly cold”, but it literally translates to “to be a duck’s cold”.

When it’s really, really cold, we say “Il fait un froid de canard” (“It’s duck’s cold”). Why? Because the best duck hunting days are in the winter, when hunters have to keep still for long periods in freezing cold weather in order to allow their prey to get close enough to be shot. Thus, that bitter cold that seeps into the bones is known as un froid de canard.

 

Side note: I didn’t know the origin of the saying until I looked it up ten minutes ago, but my father loved saying it.

 

My brain is fried and I have a doggie to take outside, so that will be all for today.

 

Stay cool and stay safe! Happy reading!

JS 

 

 

 

J. S. Marlo's Website

 

Low Tide, High Hopes by Jay Lang

 

Jay Lang BWL Author page https://www.bookswelove.com/lang-jay/

In an overstuffed creative writing class, I managed to extract one impactful sentence out of the day’s instruction: “Write about what you know.” With this in mind, I embarked upon my first novel, Hush, and set it against the rustic backdrop of Gabriola Island. I lived there with my father and his then wife when I was in my late teens. Imprinted in my memory as a magical place were the serene beaches and the untouched forests – the perfect setting for my first book. 

 

Delving into my memory of the small island, I outlined a murder plot, creating diverse, colorful characters, and then put pen to paper (or fingers to keys.) By the time I'd finished the first paragraph, I was already transported to Silva Bay, my bare feet in the cool sand, soft summer wind dancing around me, and at my ear the cadence of the small swells landing on the shore. I had started out on my journey. 

 

To their credit and my benefit, the locals were open and generous with information about Gabriola. They were excited that my story took place on their little island. The local newspaper even did a great interview with me about my upcoming novel. 

Like any first-time writer, I was insecure about how Hush would be received. However, when I saw messages on my Facebook page from those who’d read it and then gone to Gabriola to find the locations mentioned in the story, I realized the response was very positive. Some people were kind enough to send pictures of their findings. Very cool!

 https://www.bookswelove.com/lang-jay/