A Lit Interrogation of My Co-Author by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

      My bad. I forgot to post last month. But I have good news! I've finally gotten around to interviewing my co-author: Tara Woodworth! You know... that *other* name on a few of my book covers? She's real! And after a few libations, what started as an interrogation ended in a character development and shenanigans that somehow mapped out book 3...

Are you curious? Of course you are! So without further ado, here is our interview, which she may or may not remember having... 

 1. When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer, Tara? (This is a boring arse question, I know, but bear with me, it gets better)!

Tara: When my friend Vanessa sent me a text message saying that we should write a book. 

*interviewers footnote* We used to write together back and forth. Some call it RP. Some of it was crap. The bulk of Shad and Scarlet was pretty good.

2. How long does it take you to write a book?

Tara: *she blinks and tries to ask me the same question. I tell her it is not I who is being interviewed* About a year depending on how often we write, which is about two or three days a week for a few hours per session. Right?

*interviewers footnote* This is correct.

3. What would you say is your interesting writing quirk? 

Tara: Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking about a conversation between characters or how a scene will play out until I fall asleep. 

4. What does your family think of your writing? 

Tara: They think it's great, but they also don't think of me as a real writer because I'm writing fiction/fantasy

*interviewers footnote* Cries** So true...

5. Do you have plans to ever write a book on your own or with another author besides me?

Tara: *She is of course thinking: No way! Vanessa is the best there is! How could I possibly think of writing with anyone other than this amazing genius of fiction and fantasy?* 

What she says: I mi-i-i-ight write a book on my own eventually, but I have no plans to write anything with any other authors. I won't talk about my idea though, or I'll lose my gumption to write on my own, so don't ask about it!

6. Hardest thing about writing with Vanessa C. Hawkins (if any :D) Did I ever frustrate you to no end?

Tara: Vanessa spells pajamas weird and uses weird colloquillisms that I edit out when she isn't looking...

*interviewers footnote* Yeah well, I edit all your adverbs out. Tara is an adverb queen. Also, it's spelled pyjamas. *sticks out tongue*   

7.If you could meet any character in Ballroom Riot which one would it be? 

Tara: Shad. Coz he's a dragon. 

8. Let's talk about Shad. If he could, for whatever reason, only keep one thing from his hoard, what would it be and why? 

Tara: Shad would be so heartbroken that I can't even picture how he would react. He probably has a dragon bug out bag that contains his most precious treasures. So... like, a necklace with the most expensive diamonds, or something with a giant gemstone. Whatever it was with the most monetary value. But if he is thinking of Scarlet as part of his hoard, then he'd take her...

*interviewers footnote* and probably whine about it later...

9. How would Shad break up with someone? 

Tara: He wouldn't. He'd always be the person who was broken up with. Maybe... maybe he would ghost a person... maybe... 

10. Would Shad think fart noises were funny?

Tara: What? Omg. No... if Scarlet tooted he wouldn't say anything, he'd probably just pretend it didn't happen. Scarlet probably would though... she's that kind of woman, and if Shad farted she'd tease him endlessly... if she wasn't blown away by noxious dragon gas.

11.  What would Shad think was the most annoying thing about Scarlet? 

Tara: When Scarlet gets mad at him, she walks too fast on purpose so he has to hobble to keep up. That's annoying... but also, despite being a graceful and loving person, she'll take out something with packaging, open it, use it, and leave the packaging wherever in the hell is convienent for her! She doesn't throw it out! Done using these clothes? Wham! Thrown on the back of the couch! Can't find an ashtray? Cigarette butt in the fruit bowl! 

*interviewers footnote* I think we've hit a nerve here...

Well, Tara, thank you for the interview! Before we end though, is there anything else you'd like to say?

Tara (who may or may not have actually said this): Book three is in the works! Hoping for a release of next year or so, but be sure to keep an eye out on the Books We Love webpage or Vanessa's blog for updates! We promise, it won't take ten years for us to write it... we aren't buttheads like... 

Till next time, folks!
 

I'm Going On A Writer's Retreat to Retreat From My Life by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

      I'm back! Ya-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay! And if you were anywhere near Canada last month, you may have heard--or experienced--the giant internet outage that raged throughout the country. The chaos it caused! I'm talking mass hysteria! Riots in the streets! 

Okay, not really. Though it happened while I was coming home from PEI and leaving the province without access to a debit card was a bit wonky. If you've read my previous post about the Island of Prince Edward, you may know that in order to leave you need to pay money. And in a world increasingly reliant on an invisible cyber universe, not having access to your bank account can make things difficult. 

 But I escaped! And the internet is back, so I can blissfully immerse myself in stupid cat memes, tik toks and other general nonsense that keeps me from doing anything remotely worthwhile during the course of my day to day life! 

Which may be the reason I thought it was a good idea to sign up for a writer's retreat! 

Whenever I write it's always a retreat... from the crushing reality of my own inadequacies...  
*not really*.... cries

So what is a writer's retreat? Well, I suppose that depends... For me, it's offering a chance to escape the mania of my household for a weekend and browse facebook somewhere that is devoid of familial distraction and responsibilities...

For the sake of my sanity. 

But really? It's a chance to write and I'm REALLY FREAKING excited! Not because I'm going to constantly worry about wasting time, but because it's been almost three years that I've had an opportunity to focus on my writing. My husband has graciously been supportive in my decision to go, and it's only a weekend! So I mean, definitely not enough time for them to destroy the house or summon Cthulhu accidently, right? 

Nah... it will be okay. That's a problem for future me. I ain't gonna worry about it until I get back. Present me is excited! Thrilled! Already prepping my current work in progress for all the productivity I am going to encompass!

*True dat*

Maybe I'll leave the computer at home... or buy one of those fancy, old style typewriters to keep me from becoming distracted... What would you do? I suppose I could hire someone to come along and slap me across the face whenever I start browsing the toks! But that kinda defeats the purpose of being by myself for the weekend... and...

...is there such a service? 

  What if I invented one!? What if there's a catalogue of hires you can choose from. They come with you, tell you that you're a great writer and will read all your crummy drafts, SMASH that writers block. 

I think I'd need a tall dark and handsome one... who likes to walk around with his shirt off...

Maybe less Zoidberg and more Mamoa...

Maybe George R. R. Martin should go on a writer's retreat. Maybe if it works for me, I'll suggest it on his social media platform! 

 

At least it's an ending... *Cries again*

Also, how the H-E-double hockey stick does Winds of Winter already have OVER 9000 reviews on Goodreads!? IT'S NOT EVEN OUT YET PEOPLE!!!

Why am I always crying? 

Ready? Set? How to Start a Book! by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

I have so much going on this month I think my brain is going to spontaneously combust! Which, now that I think about it, may be for the better because it's been so cold here that a little inner fire may finally warm me up. Has anyone else been enduring the chill winter frost to the point that're holding out on the chance that they may randomly explode in a fiery inferno? Just me? Darn these Canadian winters!

But back to the point, which is that this month has been a flurry of things whirling about my head demanding my attention and seldomly seeing any of it. Why? Well, because I got a new gaming system from my husband and I've been furiously hacking and slashing at baddies all month, but also because I have been trying to get a submission done for a writing contest. 

Now usually, I don't put a lot of effort into writing competitively, but I really just got the gumption to try it out this year. I am pretty cynical about my chances of winning, mostly because I am submitting an erotica and I think the judges may be too stiff to consider it thoughtfully. 

HUR HUR... stiff...

But during my foray into competitive writing, I was asked by a lovely individual-- who reached out to me curious about starting her first book--how to begin writing a story! 

Well... as you can imagine, at first I was flattered. I mean, someone was asking ME how to write a book, which would infer that SOMEONE also THOUGHT I knew how to write one! A human being, who IS real, I'll have you know! Was asking me how to start writing a book because she believed I was learned enough to give advice!

I'm so touched...

But then I wondered... well... how DO you start writing a book, Vanessa? And I had to pause, because honestly I just flew from the seat of my pants when it came to writing. I had an idea--thought up in the shower, or while pretending to poop while my husband looked after our toddler--and then I sat down and let my fingers dredge it up from the pit of my stomach onto some word document that I'd either trash later or let simmer until it condensed into something tangible. 

But... that wasn't very good advice! Oh no, I thought. I'm a fraud! A con! I don't deserve this nice woman's faith! I can't possibly tell her to go have a poop and see what pops in her head... what do I do? 

What Would Picard Do?

So I asked her first what she was writing. It helps to know what genre you're getting yourself into. Conjuring up stories on the John is all well and good, but if you're writing historical non-fiction, you may have to go number two at the library. Regardless, the best thing to do is to have some kind of outline at some point. I've talked about pantsers before, and how some people just write by the seat of their pants--

Ahem... Me.

--but it IS good practice to at least write something down in terms of getting all your ducks in a row. I mean, compiling notes and character profiles and plot points is good, when you want to make sure everything is cohesive in the end. If Scarlet Fortune, the hard-boiled detective, is off to fight crime at the beginning of the book, it may be best to ensure she's not running off in Wonderland to find the white rabbit at the end. 

Does that make sense? ...No? 

Well your story should. So having a basic outline is usually good at some point. Like I said, I tend to start off spontaneously, wait till the plot begins to form into something I can work with, then go back and scribble an outline to build upon. I mean, there are always outliers to this method. Virgina Woolf's stream of consciousness as displayed in her lighthouse book doesn't seem to follow this rule, but I personally hated that novel and wouldn't recommend it to anybody. 

But at least 'Gina finished her book, right George?

I will spontaneous combust before I ever get to read 
Winds of Winter...

 So I suppose the best advice I can give about how to start a novel is to just start it. Write some stuff down, see how you feel about it. Write some more. Erase. Plan some--or not, if that's how you roll. Write more. Succub to your own self-doubt. Cry. Write a lot more. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Finish. Then gulp down a glass a wine of four to celebrate! 

Because ultimately the easiest part of writing a book is writing it. So, sorry if this is bad news bears... but when it comes to editing, publishing, MARKETING--which is the devil, by the way--that's where things get pretty messy, and complicated. 

But writing is art! And art is nebulous. Some people like to draw things and their drawings look like the things they look like, and other people throw up on a canvass and sell that to the highest bidder. 

Shhh... I'm making art...

 So my advice is to just write. Whether you plot it first, have to do eons of research or compile photographs, the most important part of starting a book is making sure all 26 letters of the alphabet are levelled out on the page in some kind of pattern that is at least pleasing to you, the author. Worry about all the other stuff later. 

Because you can do it. 

You can do the thing!  

 

On Writing a Sequel by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

You ever look at your Disney movie library and say to yourself, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2? Oh hot dog! I think I'll watch that. It's totally better than the first movie!" If so then you should probably get your head checked because even if you've HEARD of that terrible sequel--let alone own it--you ought to know that it was Complete, Utter Garbage with a capital C, U, G!

Complete. Utter. Garbage! The sequel was C.U.G!

But despite the plethora of terrible sequels floating around the known universe, I am not actually here to talk about them. In fact, I am happy to say that I am WRITING a sequel, and I am really, REALLY hoping it's not going to be bad... Because as infamous as some bad sequels are, I'm no where near famous enough to profit off a terrible remake or continuation. 

We'll get George outta the way early this time... 

 So what makes a good sequel? Well, looking at all the terrible content out there, I'd say it's important to stay true to the characters and themes at least. The original Indiana Jones' movies were pretty cool. They were also mostly stand alone adventures. Rocky I to V was good: a continuation but each with an individual plot point. As well as Terminator 2... which was just awesome. 

Wait, Terminator 2? Rocky? Indiana Jones?
Oh God her age is showing...

But these are all movies! Okay, well... Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and The Witcher books come to mind... though they're all continuations of one big story outline and the sequel I'm writing already kinda... well, concluded...

And it's a romance! 

So what do I do? I suppose I could just NOT write a sequel. It's not like I'm Michael Bay producing sequels for that socks made of silk money...  

*Bad word warning in link*

But there's lots more to say about these characters! And while writing romances isn't bad, writing a sequel to a romance where the love story had already wrapped itself up in the first installment, can produce its own series of obstacles. I hate when its obvious that the author broke up their original couple only to find ways to get them back together in book two. It always seems contrived, or pieced together to keep with the theme. Misunderstandings or arguments are alright, of course--and realistic!--but there must be a better way to tell a story with a romantic subplot other than breaking them up and seeing how they get together THIS TIME. 

#I'vebeenmarriedfor18yearsromancenovels

So I've concluded to just develop the characters more. For example, Scarlet Fortune is a 1920's cop vampire, and Shad is a 400 something year old dragon bootlegger... so there are bound to be some funny anecdotes and hijinks even AFTER they've tied the knot. I also believe in a good antagonist. Going back to The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2--because I had to watch it the other day with my two year old and am still crusty about it-- how do you compare a circus ringmaster narcissist with Monseigneur Claude Frollo: a judge--because Disney couldnt really make him an Archdeacon, the movie was already risky enough--who sings about his lust for Esmeralda: a member of an oppressed minority group?

You can't. 

So I'll make a good villain that will extend on the themes of the first book. Because themes are important and so too are villains.

Eh... not really. But the theme of the meme fit the context.

I'm also trying to tie in some things from the first book. Reuse some old characters that may have been floating around the plot of book one. Facts and places barely used before, could be backdrops for more important things later on. The sequel is pretty much stand alone, I don't think you NEED to read book one to enjoy book two, but I mean, it's more fun if you do. 

Of course, I'm only speaking from a matter of my own opinion, and I am writing this sequel with my co-author who contributes HEAVILY to ensuring there are no continuity errors... but...

SEQUELS ARE HARD! 

And I promise all--or any *cries*--fans out there... That I will honor the original work to the best of my ability and not create C.U.G.

I said I promise I won't write C.U.G!

 

How NOT To Be A Gremlin During Your In-Person Book Reading! by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

So if you're here because you've read the title than you already know. This Saturday I have a book reading!

 

Yay!

Which is great! The Lorenzo Society of the University of New Brunswick has invited me and three other local authors to read at the local library. There will be a panel discussion and book signings and presumably readings... It's definitely yay worthy. But the question that usually pops up when this sort of event occurs is how do I look and act like a normal person when in fact I am... well...

A writer...

Reading your own stuff aloud is the worst!

Now, anyone that knows me is aware that I am not particularly introverted, but I assure you that based on the opinions of many of my writer friends and acquaintances, I am an anomaly. That's not to say that I don't get nervous about standing up in front of people and reading aloud something I poured a piece of my heart and soul into... but I'm also not going to faint or drink a box of wine to get me through it. 

I can get by with only one glass of wine...

In fact, my original method was to make the audience MORE uncomfortable than I was prone to be! Listen to my reasoning... If I read something that is weird or makes them squirm... most probably they will not only remember it, but secretly want more! Also... fewer people will come up to you after your done because well... they know what kind of crap you're writing. My logic is sound... shhh!

Unless they are as weird as you... which means potential friends! :D

The first reading I ever did was in South Korea. I read a raunchy scene I had wrote in my first book--something about splitting a melon... I'll let you guys mentally elucidate that one. 

The second time I did a reading I read aloud a murder scene...

...and then she screamed as the killer KILLED HER! KILLED HER TO DEATH!

I got tons of accolades! And made tons of friends... *more than two, I think* Of course those two particular readings were at bars late into cocktail hour but... ya know it worked out alright. 

This time it won't be so crazy--which is probably for the best because this is an actual reading that doesn't take place in a bar or some poetry rich cafe. 

See? It's real! That's my face in the banner.

I'll also be reading from a book that isn't as risqué as my other novels--which is probably the result of writing with Tara and not just relying on my own sinister mind babies. But regardless, it will be fun! 

If your ever in the position or thinking about doing a reading however, I do have some other tips outside of making your audience regret ever coming. I can understand that if your mom is watching, it may be difficult to read something as raunchy as "melon splitting." Of course I don't know that from experience...

Ahem...

But I am digressing...

Advice the first! It's easier if you are reading with other authors. Somehow your combined authorness *awkwardness... cough cough* provides some kind of protective shell that can tend to alleviate a large portion of your anxiety! 

Advice number two! Be prepared beforehand. Carefully choose and read aloud in the mirror to yourself a few times. 

Advice three. Make sure you know where the bathroom is when you arrive at the reading aloud venue! If you're anything like me, you may get the nervous poops or have to pee right before its your turn. 

Last advice tip! Don't worry too much about it. If you've been invited to read, chances are people want to hear you and are excited about your book. Own your words! 

 

Oh crap, sorry George! I completely forgot to mention you!
"That's ok. No worries, brah! Leave me outta it."
Guess it would be hard for you to do a reading, eh? Especially for a book that isn't out yet...
"Why you gotta do me like that, huh?"
Sorry, George... 

Writer's Block? Find a Friend to Write With! by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

Big news readers! 

Did you hear about the author that went to jail last month? If not, I'd suggest tuning into Live at Five because apparently they put him in the writer's block when he couldn't get past his first sentence... 

 

Wait, you heard that one before? Oh... you're just sick and tired of my tremendous sense of humor! Well, that's okay because this month we are going to talk about how I managed to get past my writer's block, pump out a story, all WHILE birthing and raising a child during the covid pandemic!

What did this $%@! just say?!

It's true! And no, I didn't neglect my child, lock her beneath the stairs OR hire a nanny to take care of her with all my big author-made bucks... (heh... heh... *cough*) What I did do however, was ask my friend for a little bit of help. 

Okay a lot of help...

Okay we co-authored a story.

And it's true! Scroll up! I'm only one name on that sexy, art deco cover page! The second one is just as important because without it, Ballroom Riot would never have made it to shelves, or on Amazon, or... well, anywhere books tend to be in your house...

Next to the toilet... for reading and when tissue is scarce!

But as a result, I've had LOADS of people ask what it was like working with another author. What was it like to actually hear a voice in your head that was REAL and able to tell you when your writing was crap! What was it like to have someone as invested in something as you were that you could bounce ideas off of? Obviously, it was pretty good for a ton of reasons. 

1. All those people swimming around in your head are now in the head of another person who KNOWS them. 

2. That other person is JUST as excited as you are to talk about them and what your writing and that time Scarlet had to fight off the Goblin Brother's at the dragon bar to protect her then boyfriend from...

3. When you get writer's block they totally motivate you.

Sometimes she was the one holding the *squirtgun filled with pee*
and sometimes it was me.

Now that last one is a biggie. Because if you've ever written anything in your life, chances are you've encountered this block. It sucks! It more than sucks! And getting past it can make a nice, happy hobby/writing career into an ugly mess of paper, and dead words that you have no faith in. There are writer's who have given up! Cold turkey! They've been unable to shoulder the burden of their block and continue on and I don't blame them. Writing can be a very thankless hobby. But! Writing with another person can be fun, because at least then your not alone? 

That's not true. Please sit with us! You can read a few pages!
You can... wait, where are you going?

I know there have been times where my co-author and I have been brainstorming and instead of doing any writing at all we just laugh at all the meaningless and hilarious stuff we'd like to insert into the plot. A few characters are hers to write, and a few belong to me, and it's a lark discussing how best to put them into awkward situations. 

It's also inspiring. Because not only are you bouncing ideas off a real human person, they know all the minute details of the book and how said ideas may, or may not fit into the story! 

Pros: 

There's someone interested in what you're writing

They encourage you because you have to set a time and date to meet/write via zoom 

They're an extra set of eyes when editing

Cons?

Well... there are some

It can sometimes be hard when you don't see eye to eye on things. I've known my co-author from the time when I could stay up past ten o'clock in the evening, so we are pretty familiar with each other. We've also written together before--just for fun-- That's not to say that we didn't sometimes have to throw down over some small plot point we disagreed about...

Always pick rock... nothing beats that!

... but we were able to be open enough with each other to figure out solutions when problems or disagreements arose. Also, because we had written with each other before, our styles weren't vastly different. 

Tara: This makes it out to be that one of us sucks...
Me: Leave me alone, I have low self-confidence!

Of course there is always the issue of splitting the royalties and the such, but I mean, if you have writer's block and can't write anything, chances are you aren't going to be making much money anyway. And come on, try it out! All the famous authors are doing it. Even George R. R. Martin let the guys at HBO give it a go on his Song of Ice and Fire series. Like Batman, "it may not be the ending we all deserve, but it was the ended we needed..."

Wait, scratch that! Where's Winds of Winter?

So if you're struggling with writer's block and have a friend--who likes you enough to write with you... and can also write semi-decently... or is even INTERESTED in writing or things you like to write about--give it a go. The worse that can happen is a disjointed story full of plot holes and meaningless drivel. The best that can happen is... well, Dragonlance was written by two authors... And I'm sure Terry and Neil had a blast with Good Omens! 

Between here and the end of the universe there's [...]Loads of buggerall, dear boy."
"But it gets there anyway," Crowley persevered.
"How?"
"It doesn't matter!"

 

**Quote from Good Omens