A Great Sense of Humor...

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I believe it was Tommy Cooper, British prop comedian and magician, who once said "Always leave them laughing." Personally, I love to laugh and enjoy novels that make me laugh, think, and truly enjoy the time I spend absorbed in their pages. If you were to catch a glimpse into my house, my kids and I are always bantering jokes back and forth. My middle son usually wins - until his younger brother pipes up with a one-liner that stops us all cold and everyone ends up too busy laughing to come up with more jokes.

In every novel I have written, I always use humor to keep the tone light and the story flowing along when things are getting tense. This is a scene from The Bakery Lady that puts a little levity in the first meeting between Leo Blue and Christina Davidson:

Leo moved toward the table for a better look, standing as close to Christina as he dared. She smelled as sweet and spicy as her desserts. He should move away before he said or did anything stupid. “Those look good.”

“I hope you’re talking about the cookies.” She scowled. “They’ll look even better after they’re baked.”

He grinned, sitting on a nearby stool. “I hope we’re still talking about the cookies.”

Humor keeps a good mystery from getting too dark,especially in the case of a cozy mystery. Even if it's just from that one character who is the foil for the serious detective. The sidekick who becomes a beloved character in his own right. Leo Blue started off has the entertaining sidekick in The Bookstore Lady, then took over until I had to feature him in The Bakery Lady. People seemed to love is quick wit.

Tonight I'm blessed with a houseful of laughter thanks to my youngest son's sleepover birthday party and a houseful of chatty teenagers. I'm bound to find fodder for another book in all the nonsense as they clown around. While not everyone may love a clown, who doesn't love a good chuckle now and then?
Keep Smiling!

Diane Bator
Wild Blue Mysteries:
The Bookstore Lady
The Mystery Lady
The Bakery Lady

DE-CLUTTERING - TO DO OR NOT TO DO - MARGARET TANNER

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THE PERILS OF NOT DE-CLUTTERING – MARGARET TANNER

I am a clutter collector from way back. I figure why throw anything out; you never know when you might need it. I inherited the hoarder gene.

“Waste not, want not” was my mother’s motto and she lived by it the whole of her life. Maybe it was because she lived through the great depression of the 1930’s and World War 2, that she would use and re-use, save and squirrel away stuff. Our house was never untidy, because most of the hoarded items were well out of sight. 

I should have learned my lesson after my dear mother died about 20 years ago and my sister and I had to clear out her house. To say it was a nightmare was an understatement. It took weeks. My mother had kept receipts from the 1940’s, even her World War 2 ration book. And speaking of books, she had hundreds of them. Then there were the ornaments, pretty little knick-knacks that reposed on every shelf or level surface in the house. Boxes of china. Well, you get the idea.

Now you would think that after all this trauma and angst, I would have dashed home and gone through my own cupboards.  I didn’t, but I did take a lot of my mother’s stuff with me.  Well, how could I let it go?  All those little treasures.

My mother-in-law passed away, same story, I kept a lot of her things too. I was a hoarder.  It came as naturally as breathing or eating.

Well friends, retribution did come. The youngest of our sons finally left home, so hubby and I decided it was time to downsize. We bought a smaller house, and put our larger house on the market. “We’ve got a lot of stuff here, we’ll have to get rid of it,” hubby says.

Over my dead body. “No, we won’t do anything rash,” I said. “There’s plenty of time to work out what we want to keep.”

A week before the auction of our house, my husband had to have heart by-pass surgery, so I had to go on with the sale alone. After the auction and hubby’s successful operation, I had to start packing, because when he came home he couldn’t do anything for eight weeks. I really hit the panic button because we had a short settlement. Forty days to clear out all our stuff, that of my mother and mother-in-law (things I had kept, and shouldn’t have). Well, it was a nightmare. I did most of it on my own.  I don’t know how many trips I made to donate all these “treasures” to the second hand thrift shop   And I did help the less fortunate - big time.  The thrift shop manager must have thought I was Mother Teresa re-incarnated.

It was terrible. I cried because I had to give away my ‘treasures, mum’s treasures and my mother in-law’s treasures’. Worse still, was the time it took to pack them and deliver them to the thrift shop. 

With the clock ticking, I had to be ruthless – and I was.

If you are even contemplating moving house, start to get rid of your surplus stuff early.  In fact, don’t collect it in the first place.  A lady once told me that if she didn’t wear a dress for a year, she was probably never going to wear it again, and she got rid of it. Smart lady. Wish I had such courage.  I still cling to my favourite dresses, hey I might lose weight and they will fit me again???

The moral of this story is -  don’t hoard. De-clutter as much as possible, because one day you will have to sort it out, or your children will have to sort it out.  

The same goes for your writing.  Be ruthless. If the manuscript you have expended blood, sweat and tears over isn’t working, discard it.  Temporarily cast it into your bottom drawer is what I mean. Don’t destroy it, because you might be able to resurrect it at a later date.  Start on something fresh and new. Once you get your writing tastebuds tingling again with a new premise, a feisty heroine and a spunky hero, the words will start flowing until they become a torrent.

Never give up. It is a steep climb to the top of the publishing mountain, but oh what a view once you get there.

http://bookswelove.net/authors/tanner-margaret/

Margaret Tanner writes spicy historical romance set in Australia.

FALSELY ACCUSED

1820’s England. Robbed of his birthright and falsely accused of murder, American Jake Smith, is exiled to the penal colony of Australia.

IT'S MY FUNERAL, AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT by Shirley Martin

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Americans are living longer and healthier lives. Sixty is the new forty, and eighty is the new sixty.  Still, by the time you reach your golden years, you should start planning for the time you will no longer exist on this earthly plane.

Many churches, and I suppose synagogues, too, conduct classes in funeral planning.  My own church provides a form in which you can name the Biblical passages you want read  and the hymns you want sung for your funeral service.  After all, you wouldn't want to attend your funeral and hear the congregation sing hymns that are not among your favorites. On the church form, I've requested two of my favorites: "Lord, You Have Come to the Lakeshore" and "Here I Am, Lord."

The Bible contains many beautiful and memorable passages.  Besides the Twenty-third Psalm, The Book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter Three, is among my favorites:  "To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose unto the heaven...."  From the New Testament, I especially like the Book of Revlation, Chapter Twenty-one:  "...and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying...."

On a more practial level, you should consult a reputable lawyer and hire him/her to draw up a will.  Be specific, so that there is no disagreement over who gets what.  Name an executor and make sure he/she knows where all of your important papers are, such as your insurance papers and aforesaid will.

I even wrote my own obituary. All my sons have to do is fill in the blanks.

Funeral customs have differed among cultures and throughout the centuries. Think of the ancient Egyptian pharoah.  His whole life centered around his death.  Workers slaved for years for the construction of the pyramid that would house his prized possessions. It's obvious that the ancient Egyptians believed in an afterlife, one in which they could enjoy all of the objects that meant so much to them in their mortal lives.

The ancient Celts, too, believed in an afterlife.  They were frequently buried with their personal effects, such as clothes, jewelry, and even food.  Belief in an afterlife was an important aspect of the Celtic religion, although they apparently had no conception of reward or punishment after death. They also believed that butterflies housed the souls of their loved ones who had passed on.

For most Americans, a death in the family is a time of solemnity and grief.  Not so with the Celts. For them, death was a time of joy, for the soul was returning to its home.

In parts of Indonesia, funerals are lively affairs that involve the whole village. These festivals can last anywhere from days to weeks. Families save up to provide lavish funerals where a sacrificial buffalo will carry the deceased to the afterlife. Until that time, which can take place years after physical death, the dead relative is laid in a special room in the family home and referred to as "one who is sick" or "one who is asleep."

Many Buddhists of Mongolia and Tibet belive that the soul moves on after death,while the body becomes an empty vessel.  To return it to the earth, the body is chopped into pieces and placed on a mountaintop, which exposes it to the elements.  This practice has been done for thousands of years and is still done today.

Especially in the West, more and more  people are opting for cremation instead of burial for the simple reason that we are running out of space for caskets.

If Michael Crichton, author of "The Great Train Robbery" is to be believed, the Victorians placed a bell in the casket of the deceased, in case the "deceased" was still alive. That way, he/she could let the family know that the time for burial had not yet arrived.  This isn't as far-fetched as it may seem.  No doubt we have all read about a person being pronounced dead, a sheet thrown over him and taken to the morgue, only to throw off the sheet and sit up, scaring the bejeebies out of anyone who happens to be there.


Shirley Martin enjoys writing in different genres.  If you like historical, paranormal, or fantasy novels, you have many of my romance novels to choose from.  I have three books in print:  The time travel romance, "Dream Weaver", and two fantasy romances, "Night Secrets" and "Night Shadows."  Look for my books at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
htp://bookswelove.net/authors/martin-shirley