Writing for Me or for Thee? Fun Versus Funds by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

    So lately a few writing opportunities have sprung up, and though I'm not complaining, it made me think of the differences between writing creatively for one's own enjoyment and writing to make bank. 

Starting out, when I would write, I would do so for my own entertainment. Voices in my head would come alive on paper, and I could get them to do all sorts of things. I could build worlds and construct cheesy dialogue, or kill off whoever I wanted when I wanted and all for the sheer joy of doing so... something that would likely earn you a prison sentence if you tried to act it out in real life.

Like Nancy Brophy who wrote an essay on how to kill your husband then was convicted of killing her husband... 

Don't take her advice. 

Anyway, the point is that things changed when I started wanting to publish my book. Now your talking audience and appealing to readers. This really switched up the game for me because when I started publishing and writing with the hope TO publish, I didn't just have to think about myself. I had to think about what publishers wanted---if I were to go the traditional route---and what other people who enjoy the genre would want to read.

Which shifted the focus a bit, but was still fun. But then came the submission calls, and inquiries to write in a specific genre or about a specific story and things changed. 

Now it was a matter of, do I do this even though it's a bit out of my comfort zone? There is a ton of benefit if I do. Not only will it be lucrative, but it would showcase my work to a broader audience. 

Also money might happen... money... 

Money. It matters...

AND its a challenge! Which I enjoy, because I see it as a chance to develop my writing and explore other themes. And there are so many submission calls to suit your fancy. But that denotes its own set of problems because there's nothing more discouraging than writing up a piece for a submission, submitting it, waiting forever and then being rejected after months of expectation. 

So what do you do? At the moment I have a few projects on the go, and though I'm finding myself so busy that I don't have as much time for my own written entertainment---so to speak---the sense of excitement overpowers the challenge. I suppose it really comes down to whether or not I want to make writing my job. If so, I gotta expect to write outside of my comfort zone and cater to readers. I'd love to be a King or a Rowling someday, but unless I hit the proverbial "author lottery" most likely I'll only make a living---a small one---

---by writing and submitting and repeat. But maybe that's a bit too bleak, now that I think about it. Because I don't really think about it in that way. I like that certain people believe in me enough to ask if I'd be interested in writing a piece for them. That means they read my "mind babies" and enjoyed them enough to ask if I'd be able to create a "mind baby" with them too. So... what's the point of this blog? 

I don't know. Write for yourself, until you feel comfortable writing for others too? And if you never feel that way, then just write for yourself. BUT! Don't write for others and then never release the last two installments of your series! 

GEORGE! 

#stillwaitingforwindsofwinter

Also money...

   

 

 

The Do's and Don'ts of Querying Publishers by CHATGPT and Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

Soo, everyone has talking about AI, and unless you haven't heard, there are now programs that can deliver art, essays, and stories at the press of a button. Students, office workers and anyone who doesn't want to pay an artist for their work, rejoice! It's admittedly pretty darn neat. 

But!

Butt.

A lot of people--artists especially--are worried. Why? Because most of us already make peanuts. Imagine if some dumb AI can do everything we can, but only with a line of instruction. There are a lot of folks on the fence about it, and I suppose I am one of them, but I can certainly understand the concern and/or fascination. 

So I decided to try it out. I told ChatGPT to write my blog post for me! Let's see what it can--currently--do! 

Okay CHATGPT! Write a funny, how to blog post about querying publishers!

CHATGPT: Hello and welcome to this hilarious guide on how to query publishers!

Isn't that a little on the nose, ChatGPT? Ever hear of show don't tell?

CHATGPT: If you're a writer, you know that querying publishers can be a daunting task. But fear not, I'm here to provide you with some tips and tricks to make the process a little less painful and a lot more entertaining!

This must be ChatGPT's attempt at being witty... 10 Points for trying! CHATGPT: Step 1: Pick the right publisher The first step in querying publishers is to pick the right one. Do your research and find publishers who are interested in your genre. Don't waste your time querying a publisher who only publishes cookbooks when you've written a sci-fi novel about aliens who invade Earth to steal all our pizza.

This... is pretty good information, actually. I agree with you ChatGPT. Keep up the good work! CHATGPT: Step 2: Use a catchy subject line When you're sending your query email, make sure your subject line is attention-grabbing. Instead of "Query Letter", try something like "Please publish my book so I can afford to buy more ramen noodles."

Okay, well... as cute as this may be, it's poor advice. In my experience, publishers would rather you be on point. They've heard it all. They get hundreds if not thousands of submissions a day. Spare them your "attempt" at being witty and just get to the point. Example: Submission for Blah Blah Press. Some publishers will actually tell you what to put on the subject line, and if they do, follow it to the letter.

-10 points ChatGPT CHATGPT: Step 3: Be creative in your introduction The introduction is where you really want to shine. Start with a joke or a funny anecdote. For example, "I'm a writer, which means I spend most of my time talking to imaginary people. But don't worry, they're all very friendly."

Ugh, no ChatGPT. Bad. -20 points.

The first line of any query letter should be something along the lines of: My name is Author McAuthorson and I would like to introduce my novel, ChatGPT Is Trying Too Hard To Be Funny. It is a 70,000 word paranormal fantasy that takes place in Internet Space.

Again, publishers want the facts up front. They want to read the first line and be able to tell right away if your book is something they are interested in. After that, sure, you can hook them with a fun, witty, thought-out blurb, but again... Facts first, fun later.

CHATGPT: Step 4: Include a hilarious synopsis Your book's synopsis should be both informative and hilarious. For example, "In my novel, a young woman must navigate the treacherous world of online dating while also battling a horde of zombie llamas. Will she find love, or will she become llama chow?"

Technically, this is kinda true. Though a synopsis shouldn't leave someone guessing, it should be informative. There should be no questions of what happens at the end. A synopsis is a semi-thorough summary of events that happen in the book. I HATE WRITING THESE! Because to me, everything is important: read the book, butthead! But in a lot of cases I find synopsis' come out rather dry... If you can make yours hiliarious, go for it. CHATGPT: Step 5: Finish with a funny sign-off Finally, don't forget to end your query letter with a bang. Instead of a boring "Sincerely", try something like "Yours in pizza and puns" or "Cheers, and may the force be with you (unless you're a Sith Lord, in which case, never mind)."

Sure, you can do this if you want. I find it pretty cheesy, and personally cringe-worthy, but if the publisher got to the end of your query without throwing it in the trash, maybe they will enjoy it.

Ehh... no points taken off, but no points given ChatGPT.  

CHATGPT: And there you have it, folks! With these tips, querying publishers will be a hilarious and unforgettable experience. Who knows, your query letter may be so funny that the publisher will offer you a book deal just for making them laugh! 

Unlikely ChatGPT. Unlikely. 

So there. The do's and don'ts of querying publishers by ChatGPT and yours truly. What do you think? Personally, I think this particular AI has a way to go before it produces something I want to take credit for, though if it means getting Winds of Winter out, maybe George should give it a try. 

And you thought I was through with bringing him up, didn't you? Didn't you? Hahaha!

But seriously, I'd love to know what you all think of AI. Let me know! :)