A War of Words by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

    

You ever hear of a word war? If your familliar with Nanowrimo or national novel writing month, then you probably have. Word wars are like the Olympics of writing, minus the spandex. They're a turbo boost for productivity, turning procrastination into a distant memory faster than you can say "writer's block." It's like a battle royale, but instead of wielding swords, we're armed with laptops and caffeine-fueled determination.

Not a word war... though accurate.

Imagine a room full of writers, all clacking away furiously on their keyboards, eyes wide with the thrill of the chase for word count supremacy. It's a frenzy of creativity, where the only rule is to write like the wind and pray your spellcheck doesn't fail you.

A real life depiction of a room of writers...

And let's not forget the camaraderie! Word wars are the ultimate bonding experience, where fellow writers become comrades-in-arms, cheering each other on through the highs and lows of the literary battlefield. Plus, there's nothing like the sweet taste of victory when you emerge with the highest count!

So far, word wars have gotten me through a few writer's blocks. Nothing beats a bit of competition, though I usually always lose... Lately I have been trying to turn by brain down a notch. Stop overthinking everything I write down and just get it on paper so I have something to work with during the editing phase. But I got to wondering if its only me who struggles. Obviously not.... but what do you do to get through blocks and obstacles? Wait till it passes, and hope the time is short, or power through it?

Surely some one else can relate, right? 

Summer Vibes by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

    

Summer is always a busy time for me. Book wise, there is just a ton going on. This summer, I have already had several book signings and a few conventions. But now that the season is winding down, I have a writing retreat, which if you have been following my blog, know that I attended last summer! 

I. AM. SO. EXCITED. 

But on top of that, I have been invited to host a workshop for Wordsfall, which is an annual writing event in my hometown province. I'm pretty excited about it, as I get to talk about writing fantasy with a group of aspiring writers. I have also been invited to read that night. Then there is horror fest, and an upcoming release of a new novel, and finishing up the draft to Twice Hung, which is part of the Canadian Historical Mystery series. 

I'm pretty pumped. But also going crazy with all the writing projects that I have going on. Three novels, an upcoming project to be announced, as well as a workshop, reading, and keeping up with life in general. 

I guess... whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger? 

Writing for Me or for Thee? Fun Versus Funds by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

    So lately a few writing opportunities have sprung up, and though I'm not complaining, it made me think of the differences between writing creatively for one's own enjoyment and writing to make bank. 

Starting out, when I would write, I would do so for my own entertainment. Voices in my head would come alive on paper, and I could get them to do all sorts of things. I could build worlds and construct cheesy dialogue, or kill off whoever I wanted when I wanted and all for the sheer joy of doing so... something that would likely earn you a prison sentence if you tried to act it out in real life.

Like Nancy Brophy who wrote an essay on how to kill your husband then was convicted of killing her husband... 

Don't take her advice. 

Anyway, the point is that things changed when I started wanting to publish my book. Now your talking audience and appealing to readers. This really switched up the game for me because when I started publishing and writing with the hope TO publish, I didn't just have to think about myself. I had to think about what publishers wanted---if I were to go the traditional route---and what other people who enjoy the genre would want to read.

Which shifted the focus a bit, but was still fun. But then came the submission calls, and inquiries to write in a specific genre or about a specific story and things changed. 

Now it was a matter of, do I do this even though it's a bit out of my comfort zone? There is a ton of benefit if I do. Not only will it be lucrative, but it would showcase my work to a broader audience. 

Also money might happen... money... 

Money. It matters...

AND its a challenge! Which I enjoy, because I see it as a chance to develop my writing and explore other themes. And there are so many submission calls to suit your fancy. But that denotes its own set of problems because there's nothing more discouraging than writing up a piece for a submission, submitting it, waiting forever and then being rejected after months of expectation. 

So what do you do? At the moment I have a few projects on the go, and though I'm finding myself so busy that I don't have as much time for my own written entertainment---so to speak---the sense of excitement overpowers the challenge. I suppose it really comes down to whether or not I want to make writing my job. If so, I gotta expect to write outside of my comfort zone and cater to readers. I'd love to be a King or a Rowling someday, but unless I hit the proverbial "author lottery" most likely I'll only make a living---a small one---

---by writing and submitting and repeat. But maybe that's a bit too bleak, now that I think about it. Because I don't really think about it in that way. I like that certain people believe in me enough to ask if I'd be interested in writing a piece for them. That means they read my "mind babies" and enjoyed them enough to ask if I'd be able to create a "mind baby" with them too. So... what's the point of this blog? 

I don't know. Write for yourself, until you feel comfortable writing for others too? And if you never feel that way, then just write for yourself. BUT! Don't write for others and then never release the last two installments of your series! 

GEORGE! 

#stillwaitingforwindsofwinter

Also money...

   

 

 

The Do's and Don'ts of Querying Publishers by CHATGPT and Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

Soo, everyone has talking about AI, and unless you haven't heard, there are now programs that can deliver art, essays, and stories at the press of a button. Students, office workers and anyone who doesn't want to pay an artist for their work, rejoice! It's admittedly pretty darn neat. 

But!

Butt.

A lot of people--artists especially--are worried. Why? Because most of us already make peanuts. Imagine if some dumb AI can do everything we can, but only with a line of instruction. There are a lot of folks on the fence about it, and I suppose I am one of them, but I can certainly understand the concern and/or fascination. 

So I decided to try it out. I told ChatGPT to write my blog post for me! Let's see what it can--currently--do! 

Okay CHATGPT! Write a funny, how to blog post about querying publishers!

CHATGPT: Hello and welcome to this hilarious guide on how to query publishers!

Isn't that a little on the nose, ChatGPT? Ever hear of show don't tell?

CHATGPT: If you're a writer, you know that querying publishers can be a daunting task. But fear not, I'm here to provide you with some tips and tricks to make the process a little less painful and a lot more entertaining!

This must be ChatGPT's attempt at being witty... 10 Points for trying! CHATGPT: Step 1: Pick the right publisher The first step in querying publishers is to pick the right one. Do your research and find publishers who are interested in your genre. Don't waste your time querying a publisher who only publishes cookbooks when you've written a sci-fi novel about aliens who invade Earth to steal all our pizza.

This... is pretty good information, actually. I agree with you ChatGPT. Keep up the good work! CHATGPT: Step 2: Use a catchy subject line When you're sending your query email, make sure your subject line is attention-grabbing. Instead of "Query Letter", try something like "Please publish my book so I can afford to buy more ramen noodles."

Okay, well... as cute as this may be, it's poor advice. In my experience, publishers would rather you be on point. They've heard it all. They get hundreds if not thousands of submissions a day. Spare them your "attempt" at being witty and just get to the point. Example: Submission for Blah Blah Press. Some publishers will actually tell you what to put on the subject line, and if they do, follow it to the letter.

-10 points ChatGPT CHATGPT: Step 3: Be creative in your introduction The introduction is where you really want to shine. Start with a joke or a funny anecdote. For example, "I'm a writer, which means I spend most of my time talking to imaginary people. But don't worry, they're all very friendly."

Ugh, no ChatGPT. Bad. -20 points.

The first line of any query letter should be something along the lines of: My name is Author McAuthorson and I would like to introduce my novel, ChatGPT Is Trying Too Hard To Be Funny. It is a 70,000 word paranormal fantasy that takes place in Internet Space.

Again, publishers want the facts up front. They want to read the first line and be able to tell right away if your book is something they are interested in. After that, sure, you can hook them with a fun, witty, thought-out blurb, but again... Facts first, fun later.

CHATGPT: Step 4: Include a hilarious synopsis Your book's synopsis should be both informative and hilarious. For example, "In my novel, a young woman must navigate the treacherous world of online dating while also battling a horde of zombie llamas. Will she find love, or will she become llama chow?"

Technically, this is kinda true. Though a synopsis shouldn't leave someone guessing, it should be informative. There should be no questions of what happens at the end. A synopsis is a semi-thorough summary of events that happen in the book. I HATE WRITING THESE! Because to me, everything is important: read the book, butthead! But in a lot of cases I find synopsis' come out rather dry... If you can make yours hiliarious, go for it. CHATGPT: Step 5: Finish with a funny sign-off Finally, don't forget to end your query letter with a bang. Instead of a boring "Sincerely", try something like "Yours in pizza and puns" or "Cheers, and may the force be with you (unless you're a Sith Lord, in which case, never mind)."

Sure, you can do this if you want. I find it pretty cheesy, and personally cringe-worthy, but if the publisher got to the end of your query without throwing it in the trash, maybe they will enjoy it.

Ehh... no points taken off, but no points given ChatGPT.  

CHATGPT: And there you have it, folks! With these tips, querying publishers will be a hilarious and unforgettable experience. Who knows, your query letter may be so funny that the publisher will offer you a book deal just for making them laugh! 

Unlikely ChatGPT. Unlikely. 

So there. The do's and don'ts of querying publishers by ChatGPT and yours truly. What do you think? Personally, I think this particular AI has a way to go before it produces something I want to take credit for, though if it means getting Winds of Winter out, maybe George should give it a try. 

And you thought I was through with bringing him up, didn't you? Didn't you? Hahaha!

But seriously, I'd love to know what you all think of AI. Let me know! :)  

Dad is Curious About the Internet - by Barbara Baker

 

My dad turned 90 in August. Mom passed away four years ago, and Dad is adamant he can take care of himself. He got a new knee, cleats for his boots and canes with pokey prongs that flip up when the sidewalks are clear of snow. We tease him about getting more steps in a day than we do. 

One of Dad’s recent interests is understanding the basics of computers, technology and Google. When he loses a game of chess on his iPad, he says Siri is in a bad mood. When Siri wakes him up from a nap to tell him it’s going to get cold tomorrow, Dad thanks her for the update and scrolls the Weather App to see what’s blowing in.

A few years ago, when the Sunshine Ski Resort posted free WiFi Hot Spots at the top of the lifts, Dad asked what WiFi was all about.

I told him, “It’s so you can use your phone and log onto the internet for free.”

“Up here?” His moustache twitched. “Why would you want to do that?”

On a recent visit with Dad, I sit in the living room scrolling through Google for blog ideas while he stretches out on the couch to read.

After awhile Dad points at my laptop and says, “What are you doing?”

“I’m working on my blog for next month.”

He closes his book and sits up. “You’re working on what?”

“A blog.” I smile. “It’s a short piece of writing. Hopefully I can make it funny, or entertaining, maybe informative, or insightful.”

“What do you do with it when you're done?”

“I post in on a website which puts it on the internet for people to read.”

He tips his head. “Who reads it?”

“I’m not sure.” I shrug. “People who read blogs, people who might be interested in what I have to say.”

“Do you get paid to do it?”

“Indirectly. Maybe. Sort of." I give him a bigger smile. "I hope some readers will check out one of my books, maybe buy it or get it from the library.”

I stare down at my laptop to hide my grin and continue the search for popular blog topics – expert insights (nope), science posts (nope), upcoming trends (nope), DIY tips (nope)…personal (possibly).

Dad clears his throat, and I look up.

“Let me get this straight," he says. "You find something to write about, you put it on the internet for the world to see but you don’t know who will read it and you don’t know if it will make you any money?”

I nod.

“Well,” he pauses. “Do you enjoy doing it?”

“Yes, yes I do.”

“Well,” he picks up his book, stretches out on the couch again and lets out a sigh, “that’s good.”

        Happy holidays and all the best of wishes for 2023. 

        You can contact me at: bbaker.write@gmail.com

        Summer of Lies: Baker, Barbara:9780228615774: Books - Amazon.ca

        What About Me?: Sequel to Summer of Lies : Baker, Barbara: Amazon.ca: Books

 

 

Grampa Saves the Day - by Barbara Baker

On a gorgeous fall drive with two of our young grandkids we stop at a park to play. Fresh air. Colourful leaves. Blue Alberta sky. And a backpack full of snacks. A perfect outing.

The kids run and jump and swing through the playground. In no time at all, I have 5,000 steps and only three near heart attacks at the hanging upside down antics.

Just as I begin to video our granddaughter as she hurtles down a zip-line, our grandson, who is only three years old and too short for the ride, lets out a scream. Not just any scream - a full out anyone-within-a-mile-can-hear-him kind of scream.

I bend over in time to see him swipe a wasp off his pinky finger. Tears streak down his face as he sticks his hand in the air.

Even without reading glasses on I can see the stinger, with a blob of venom attached to it, sticking out of a small cut right above his pudgy knuckle. I pull the stinger out and lift it to my eyes. The venom sac still clings to the sharp barb. It’s kind of cool to see but another scream brings me back to my grandson’s finger.

Hugs can’t console him and people start to stare. I’m sure they think the tyke has fallen victim to some enormous travesty set upon him by me. I give the staring people a pleading look to tell them, “I’m doing my best.”

“Let’s go to the car and get a band aid,” Grampa says.  “Stick his finger in your mouth.”

I look at my grandson’s dirty hand.

“It was a wasp sting not a snake bite,” I say.

“It’ll distract him.”

I pick up the tyke and put his finger in my mouth knowing I’m doomed. No amount of hand-sani can’t save me now.

Once his finger is in my mouth, the screaming stops. When it starts up again, it’s not as loud. I suck on the finger. The scream turns into snotty sobs.

At the car, I set him on the tailgate and pour water over the sting while grampa searches for a band aid. Candles, old granola bars, blankets, masks and gloves (thanks covid) pile up beside us. Not one band aid.

Grampa digs through his emergency car repair kit. “Look what I found.” He holds up the tiniest silver hose clamp. “It’s a superhero ring for a brave little boy.”

Our grandson’s eyes go big. “Really?”

Grampa nods a very serious grampa nod. He takes the injured pinky and ever so gently, puts the hose clamp over the red mark.

All the way home our grandson holds his hand in the air.

“I got a superhero ring.” He waves it at his sister. “Because I’m brave.” 

What About Me?: Sequel to Summer of Lies : Baker, Barbara: Amazon.ca: Books

Summer of Lies: Baker, Barbara:9780228615774: Books - Amazon.ca

Barbara Wackerle Baker (@bbaker.write)

 

                   

 

 

 

 

TLDR: I Like Writing Strong Damsels in Distress by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

  Hoo boy! So this month's blog post may be a tad controversial, as I aim to pick apart the reasons I enjoy writing strong female characters that have a tendancy to get in trouble and need--in some capacity-- a little help getting out of a jam. 

And I'm also a strong, independant woman!

I think the overarching reason I enjoy the much overused trope of a female in requirement of aid, is due to my increasingly larger than life laziness that is only growing exponentially each and every year. Yes. I COULD take out the trash, yes, I COULD take out the kitty litter, but its raining outside, and it's smelly and oh won't you do it for me you big strong hero because I couldn't possibly...

Even though I really, REALLY tried...

But, as my post should HOPEFULLY suggest, I am in favor of strong heroines who may need a little bit of help every now and then. I don't think that's anti-feminist--just in case some of you here are waiting to pounce on me when I'm not looking--it's realistic! We all need help here and there, and I like the idea of a strong woman who can rely on her romantic partner when all else fails. Even the strongest of us need help every now and then, whether it's with taking out the smelly cat litter that we took too long to empty... or if it's help with putting a giant raging dragon in the hurt locker!

Uhh... little help there, honey?

But it is a give and take. I'm all for the dashing champions coming to help out a dame at her lowest hour, but lets face it, we can't--and probably shouldn't--always rely on those hapless yet huggable heroes. A strong woman should be allowed to shine. Help out those big lugs. And just to be clear, though I am calling these nameless characters heros, the heroine is just as much, if not more, a protagonist as her romantic counterpart!

It actually bothers me nowadays how many female characters are infallible. Yes, many are bada$$ bit%^es that look fine as heck in a leather leotard, but c'mon! They must need help every now and then! Don't put the bar so high that I can't even see it, Hollywood! Because I can't even do a chin up now, let alone find the darn bar so I can keep up with the strength of your females. 

I'm still strong and independant, gosh-darnit!

 But yes. I like damsels in distress. I like Princess Peach--who is so often being captured by Bowser that people are beginning to suspect there is a relationship there *AHEM* Koopa Kids *AHEM* I like Princess Leia and Fiona, who were strong women in their own right, and totally kicked some serious a$$, as well as my own character, Scarlet Fortune, who is a vampire detective in the 20's but also quite capable of screwing up and needing a bit of help from her short statured beau. 

Even George R. R. Martin, who has yet to release his long... 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG awaited book Winds of Winter, has quite a few kickbutt female characters who need a bit of a pick up along the way. Damsels in distress? Yes. But also damsels doing damage!

   

And sometimes damsels doing too much damage... right, Daenerys?