Home again, home again, jiggety jig... by Sheila Claydon

As the nursery rhyme says, Home again, home again, jiggety jig. Here I am, back in England after 5 months in Australia, and one of the first things in my diary is the Books We Love Blog.  With jet lag from the 11 hour time difference and the remains of a heavy head cold, courtesy of my last days in Sydney, blurring my thoughts, what am I going to talk about.  Well the obvious is what is it like to be back home again?

Coldish, wet and windy is my first answer but then I pause and think. No! Blue skies greeted us when we arrived home and it hasn't rained that much either, just enough to keep everything fresh. Anyway we wouldn't have the nodding snowdrops and  daffodils or the cheerful yellow primroses in the garden without it, nor the lake full of birds and the very welcome spring catkins on the trees. The cold isn't all that bad either, not with the right clothes and boots. Nor is the wind any worse than the one we experienced most days in Sydney, it's just a lot cooler.

So what is different? Well a brisk walk along the beach showed us how the winters winds have reshaped many of the sand hills, uprooted trees and  carved new paths amongst the spiky maram grass that holds the dunes together. Whole swathes of the old Christmas trees that are used every year as barricades against the worst of the weather have been washed away by the high tides, leaving jagged stumps and broken branches behind them, while familiar logs and sheltered hollows have disappeared completely. Similar things happen every winter without doing much to attract our attention but after 5 months away we find ourselves looking at our familiar walks with new eyes.

We've looked at our local supermarket in the same way too and been very surprised. Where half a year ago the shelves were full of fresh meat, now the butchery has whole sections of pre-cooked joints and fancy cuts that only need twenty minutes or so in the cooker. The instant food aisle has expanded too with more ready meals than I knew existed. Although I'm not very interested in either of these phenomena I can appreciate that many people will benefit greatly from the time saved or, in the case of the older people who live in the community, a much easier cooking experience.

The people haven't changed though. Our neighbours are the same. There are the same number of dogs being walked on the field opposite our house. The garden has held together through the winter too, as have the fences, which has not always been the case in previous winters. True one friend has suffered a mild stroke but she has fully recovered, while another has come into some unexpected money which is lovely, but on the whole everyone is the same.

So if everything is much the same back home what are we missing about Australia?  Well the warmth obviously, although not the searing heat we experienced at times which was a bit too much for us. We do miss going bare foot in the house though, and only needing our sandals outside. Our skin was better too. The constant heat meant that it was always slightly damp and hydrated whereas in England the winter winds and the central heating have already made it feel tight and dry.

We miss the family of course but our English family are doing their best to compensate. Ditto with friends. Having to spread ourselves between 2 continents is difficult, expensive, and when we have to say goodbye, heartrending. On the other hand it has broadened our experience of life immeasurably, given us new friends, and also made us appreciate our home more than we might have done if we'd never been away.

People who read my books say that it's like buying a ticket to romance because I use many of my travelling experiences in my stories. I'm sure I'll be doing it again when I've had time to think about all the things that have happened in the past 5 months, but in the meantime I have already set one of my books partially in Australia. In Cabin Fever the hero and heroine are working on a cruise ship as it sails from Auckland to Sydney. This book was the result of a previous trip to the other side of the world. Who knows what will result from this one.

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My books and the buying links can be found at http://bookswelove.net/authors/claydon-sheila/

When it's time to say goodbye... by Sheila Claydon

At the end of my last post I promised to introduce you to Lady Sippington. Unfortunately she has proved to be a little shy and has begged me to keep her secret for a while longer. She will feature on the Books We Love blog eventually, however. In the meantime I'll carry on talking about Australia...well the tiny part of it that we are visiting...and the lessons I'm learning.

We have just returned from the small coastal village of Tea Gardens, a place delightfully and eccentrically named after a failed attempt by the Australian Agricultural Company to grow tea in the area. Situated on the Myall River, it is the southern gateway to the Great Lakes, and its waterfront meanders past sculptures and paintings by local artists, a war memorial that actually plays a tune, huge Norfolk pines, blue, blue water, and an eclectic mix of boats. It's a holiday area too, so thousands of visitors swell the small population of residents in the summer season, filling the restaurants and spending their dollars in the local shops.

We didn't go as tourists though. We went to visit friends who retired there a few years ago and, as is always the case with old friends, we picked up where we left off when we last saw them in 2010. Their lovely dog was the same. She came trotting up with her ball as if we'd only thrown it for her last week.

We did all the usual things you do with old friends: went out for a meal, raised our glasses in various toasts a number of times, talked about family and mutual friends, reminisced, and exchanged views about a whole lot of things. We also learned that they will be leaving Tea Gardens next year and moving into an apartment in a busy town about a hour's drive away. Age and illness are driving their decision and when they first told us we thought they would be sad.  Far from it. They are both excited about the prospect of planning a new home, replacing worn furniture, and leaving behind a garden that is becoming too big for them. They are looking forward to living close to shops, theatres, cinemas, a hospital, and the clinics they will need as their health deteriorates. Their attitude was inspiring and one I hope I can emulate if I ever have to do something similar.

I'm always intrigued by how differently people react to difficult life situations. Some are overwhelmed, others, like our friends, amazingly positive. Only by looking at what has shaped people's lives can we know why they react in the way they do. Our friends have lived  in many different countries during their time together, rarely staying in a house or apartment for more than five or six years, so their hearts are not entwined with their home. What about others though? What about people who have lived in their house for forty years, nurtured their garden with love, decorated every room, seen their children grow up, buried pets, grown old together...how do they move forward? It must be one of the most difficult decisions anyone has to make.

Knowing when to make it is also crucial. We have friends who have left it too late and who rattle around in a home that is far too big for them, fretting about the garden and the housework, but not able to gather the energy to make such a major move. We have others who moved too soon and who feel constrained by their new, smaller home and the fact that they no longer have a garden, and sometimes resentful of each other for making the decision. Then, of course, there are those who have lost their life partner and have to make such a decision alone. I don't know whether that makes it more or less difficult. Only someone who has had to face it knows the answer to that.

I was still ruminating on why and how people respond as they do and wondering if I would ever write about it when I remembered that I already have, in Saving Katy Gray, Book 3 of my When Paths Meet trilogy. Although it's a romance, there are important secondary characters in the book who have to make just this choice. I hope I got it right for them. This and many of my other books can be found at http://bookswelove.net/authors/sheila-claydon/

Fireworks, yum cha and vodka by Sheila Claydon

I'm living in Sydney, Australia for a few months. The deal is a winter in the sun in exchange for caring for my nine month old baby granddaughter on the days when both her parents are working. 

So what is it like living in a small city apartment instead of a sprawling house in a village on the northwest coast of England? Well on a daily basis it's not so different. There are still chores to be done and meals to be prepared. True the garden has shrunk to a few pots and a raised bed on the balcony, but there is still greenery, and the wind that whistles up from the harbour is every bit as blustery as the wind back home. The view is very different though. Instead of trees and fields I have a bird's eye view of the city skyline. I also have the added benefit of a pool and a spa and, of course,  the endless warmth that is Australia. No jackets needed, nor shoes really except to be polite. Instead, suncream, dark glasses, a hat and bottled water are de rigueur when leaving the apartment.

The other differences are more interesting though. My daughter-in-law is Chinese and my son has a Russian boss. This means that as well as Australians and Tasmanians they have many friends in the immigrant community, so over Christmas and the New Year I met American lawyers and chemical engineers, a Chinese tea importer and a Russian who owns several diamond mines, Chinese, South American and English bankers, a Phillipino nurse, accountants and financial analysts from China, property investors from Japan, China and Tasmania, an Australian clothes importer, a retired Australian TV producer,  IT specialists from India, the UK and Japan, and other immigrants from Singapore, France, Vietnam and Spain as well as a whole lot of children with the blood of two nations in their genes. It was an eclectic and fascinating mix and everyone of them without exception was friendly, outgoing and full of confidence. Inevitably this rainbow nation has given me a whole lot of ideas for future books, so many in fact that it's unlikely I'll ever be able to use them all.

More importantly, I've learned a lot about the traditions of other cultures. Although it's obviously a generalisation, I've discovered that many Asian parents co-sleep with their children in the early years. The mothers also follow their toddlers from room to room with a bowl of food or a drink in order to spoon a morsel into their mouths whenever they can. Despite having a well paid and successful career some of the brightest women succumb to their ancestral traditions, another of which includes being confined to bed for a month after giving birth while their mother takes care of the baby. Fortunately, from my perspective, my highly educated daughter-in-law refused to comply when her own daughter was born and my granddaughter is fast becoming a robust Australian who sits happily in her high chair, eats everything offered and  sleeps 7 - 7, alone, in her own bed. 

I've learned that manners vary enormously too and so do eating habits. On the whole the Chinese eschew anything sweet, never drink wine with rice, eat enormous amounts of vegetables and are very health conscious, whereas Europeans, Australians and Americans prefer BBQs with large quantities of meat and fish, rarely refuse the fries, and are happy to drink wine or beer with everything. 

Dress is very casual too. Shorts, t-shirts and thongs are the order of the day whether it's a BBQ, a shopping trip, or a day at the beach, and every Friday is 'Dress Down Friday' at work. The only exception is a party and even then it's mostly the women who turn on the glamour. And how the people of Sydney party. Celebrations started at the beginning of December and carried on until well after the New Year. Now they are enjoying a short hiatus before Australia Day and then it will be the Chinese New Year. 

The thing I've noticed more than anything though, is how young the population is. Everywhere I go there are young people enjoying themselves and pregnant women and babies of all nationalities, shapes and sizes. In the city as well as at the tourist spots there are fathers pushing strollers, tiny babies in carriers, toddlers tripping over their own feet, and older children, brown as berries, dancing along in thongs and shorts. Of course with all this youth comes technology and on the train the other day my husband and I were amused to discover we were the only people actually conversing. Everyone else in the very crowded carriage was plugged into a device be it an iPod, a cell phone or an electronic reader. 

Best of of all, however, was my meeting with an Anglo Indian from London who is married to an American lawyer and lives in New York. She was visiting her brother and his Chinese wife for the festive season - the ethic mix in Australia is truly mind blowing. Discovering that I am a writer  she not only downloaded Mending Jodie's Heart, the first book of my When Paths Meet trilogy, while she was talking to me, she also told me she was taking it to her book club as soon as she returned to the States. She did, however, check with me first that the heroine was feisty and independent. If not then the book was an absolute no no! As if I would ever write anything else.....

And lastly and most intriguingly I met Lady Sippington but you'll have to wait until next month's post to discover her story.

Many of my books can be found on the Books We Love website at  http://bookswelove.net/authors/sheila-claydon/