Leave It to Santa to Take Credit for Everything Us Moms Do by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

      It is December, which for most, is the month of holiday cheer, presents, candy canes and Santa Claus, but for me its the inevitable month of writer's block. Nanowrimo--which for those of you that don't know is abbreviated for National November Writing Month (I think...)--- is the month where we write a bunch of words as fast as we can, with the ultimate goal of acheiving 50k words.

So 50k. It's a goal I used to find feasible, but after having spawn, realized it was way too &5^$ing crazy for me to ever accomplish now. SO I aimed for 10K and hit the mark. Now it's December, and I feel like a deflated bag of goo, chock full of little hairs, rocks and whatever else you may find stuck to the carpet. 

Me.

Now how am I supposed to write when there is Christmas to think about? Not to mention that I used up all my good ideas in an effort to get my draft done (which it isn't, by the way). I figure I have about 10k more words to go, but all I want is a good hoodie, some wine and true crime shows. 

Merry Christmas! Next up on Cold Case Files...

And you know... It used to be that if you finished Nano, you got a sticker. Now they don't give them out (at least where I am) so I can't even do it for the bragging rights! Not to mention that they changed the website and I can't even see my past achievements... you know... the days when I WAS able to write 50k in one month. 

So I guess I'll just keep writing and figure it out later. Afterall, that's what I told y'all to do when you get a case of writer's block. Wouldn't make any sense for me to tell others to keep on truckin' right? 

Ughh... I hope Santa brings me a nap...

I'm Going On A Writer's Retreat to Retreat From My Life by Vanessa C. Hawkins

 

 Vanessa Hawkins Author Page

      I'm back! Ya-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay! And if you were anywhere near Canada last month, you may have heard--or experienced--the giant internet outage that raged throughout the country. The chaos it caused! I'm talking mass hysteria! Riots in the streets! 

Okay, not really. Though it happened while I was coming home from PEI and leaving the province without access to a debit card was a bit wonky. If you've read my previous post about the Island of Prince Edward, you may know that in order to leave you need to pay money. And in a world increasingly reliant on an invisible cyber universe, not having access to your bank account can make things difficult. 

 But I escaped! And the internet is back, so I can blissfully immerse myself in stupid cat memes, tik toks and other general nonsense that keeps me from doing anything remotely worthwhile during the course of my day to day life! 

Which may be the reason I thought it was a good idea to sign up for a writer's retreat! 

Whenever I write it's always a retreat... from the crushing reality of my own inadequacies...  
*not really*.... cries

So what is a writer's retreat? Well, I suppose that depends... For me, it's offering a chance to escape the mania of my household for a weekend and browse facebook somewhere that is devoid of familial distraction and responsibilities...

For the sake of my sanity. 

But really? It's a chance to write and I'm REALLY FREAKING excited! Not because I'm going to constantly worry about wasting time, but because it's been almost three years that I've had an opportunity to focus on my writing. My husband has graciously been supportive in my decision to go, and it's only a weekend! So I mean, definitely not enough time for them to destroy the house or summon Cthulhu accidently, right? 

Nah... it will be okay. That's a problem for future me. I ain't gonna worry about it until I get back. Present me is excited! Thrilled! Already prepping my current work in progress for all the productivity I am going to encompass!

*True dat*

Maybe I'll leave the computer at home... or buy one of those fancy, old style typewriters to keep me from becoming distracted... What would you do? I suppose I could hire someone to come along and slap me across the face whenever I start browsing the toks! But that kinda defeats the purpose of being by myself for the weekend... and...

...is there such a service? 

  What if I invented one!? What if there's a catalogue of hires you can choose from. They come with you, tell you that you're a great writer and will read all your crummy drafts, SMASH that writers block. 

I think I'd need a tall dark and handsome one... who likes to walk around with his shirt off...

Maybe less Zoidberg and more Mamoa...

Maybe George R. R. Martin should go on a writer's retreat. Maybe if it works for me, I'll suggest it on his social media platform! 

 

At least it's an ending... *Cries again*

Also, how the H-E-double hockey stick does Winds of Winter already have OVER 9000 reviews on Goodreads!? IT'S NOT EVEN OUT YET PEOPLE!!!

Why am I always crying?