Eileen Charbonneau: Seven Deadly Words and Phrases.

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“I apologize for such a long letter - I didn't have time to write a short one.”

― Mark Twain

We are so fortunate to be speaking and writing in the English language, aren’t we?  It is so rich in vocabulary deposited on a tiny island by its ancient settlers and invaders.  Of course, England then went on an invading spree of its own to the four corners of Mother Earth, adding much more! 

Thanks to its two main streams of head-based (Latin) and emotion-based (Anglo-Saxon), we can be both bellicose and warlike, have women and ladies, females and damsels, girls and gals.  

Add a deposit of riches via two genius Bards, Shakespeare and Robert Burns.  We now have new words and phrases a like:  “accused,” “assassination,” “dwindle,” “rant,” “mimic” and “zany,” “the best-laid plans of mice and men” and “there is no such uncertainty as a sure thing.” And, heaven help us, “haggis.” 

 

Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounc'd it to you, trippingly on the tongue.  

--William Shakespeare

Learn taciturnity and let that be your motto!--Robert Burnes

Our English has goulash (Hungary) galore (Gaelic)!  Perhaps even an embarrassment of riches? (thank you, John Ozell's translation of a French play, L'Embarras des richesses (1726)).

With all this richness and specificity you’d think we’d be more careful.  You’d be wrong.

Readers get stopped dead by words that mean nothing or are place-holders for “ummm.”  Honor our language!  Don’t use them!   Here are some of my deadliest...

1. So  This word is a verbal devise that has taken over from “Well…”  as a space holder. Please don’t start a sentence with “so”…. it means nothing!
2. Pretty  This overused adjective can now signify that one is even“pretty ugly.” It means…you guessed it, pretty much nothing.
3. Actually  This has come from stating a fact to mean a change of mind, as in “Waiter, actually, I’ll have the Merlot not the Pinot Noir .“(good choice, by the way!) But try practicing, “Waiter, change of plan…”, won't you?
4. Just, very, really, quite…JUST stop using these!  They are REALLY QUITE annoying!   VERY bad writer! You are weakening a strong language!  Take then out of the sentences above and read aloud.  Stronger, right?
5. Literally As in: “It’s literally hot as hell out there.” You mean figuratively, but don’t use either, I beg you!
6. Stand up   Leave out the up…how else does one stand?  Down of course, used only when you mean relax or withdraw.
7. Due to the fact that   Yikes, are you being paid per word??  Way to much congestion and your sentence hasn’t even stated yet!  “Due” alone is fine!
   I’m sure you have your own pet peeves.  Bring them forth, dear readers!  Join the effort to de-clutter our beautiful language! 
   
   
   
   

HIking Season

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Today - Wednesday - is my hiking day. Ten years ago, after my husband Will retired, we joined a local hiking club. In a recent radio interview, I talked about the enjoyment we both get from heading out each week to the Rocky Mountains, a couple of hours drive from our city of Calgary.

"When I'm there, all my cares vanish," I said. "We carpool, too, and socialize with an interesting group of people."

The broadcaster commented that mystery writers might imagine insidious actions that could happen on a hike. He asked if I'd ever included this in a novel. All I could think of was one scene in my first book. Afterward, I realized that hiking appears in all three of my novels.

Overlooking Arnica Lake, Banff National Park

The scene I recalled at the interview happened in Deadly Fall, book one of my murder mystery series. Insurance adjuster sleuth Paula Savard hikes the Mount Indefatigable Trail in nearby Kananaskis with three suspects in the case she's become involved after the death of her childhood friend. As Paula reaches the trail lookout, she starts to think the two men on the hike are plotting something sinister. During a moment of panic and paranoia, she fears one of them will push her off the cliff. 

Will and I hiked this trail before we joined the club and had bought proper hiking gear. I found it a treacherous climb to an awesome view of the turquoise Kananaskis Lakes. I'd like to try the trail again with good boots and poles, but it has been closed for fourteen years due to grizzly bear activity. 

Mount Indefatigable south peak

Ten Days in Summer, the Paula Savard sequel, doesn't include a hike. But a suspect is an avid hiker and mountain camper. I felt this interest showed seventy-year-old Florence's physical fitness and spunk. Florence is camping in the back country when a fire damages the building she lives in and kills the owner, who occupied the ground floor apartment. When the fire is deemed suspicious, she refuses to provide the name of her hiking companion, even though he could give her an alibi. Florence is, by nature, defensive and doesn't let anyone push her around. She's also more daring than I am, since I'd worry about bears if I tented in a mountain wilderness.  

Not much protection in these little tents

Hiking plays the largest role in my third novel, To Catch a Fox. The book is partly set at a fictional self-help retreat in southern California. While personal growth and empowerment are the New Dawn Retreat's primary goals, the body is also viewed as important. The retreat's co-leader, Sebastiano, leads two hikes a day in the hills that enclose the valley location. Hiking struck me as the ideal physical activity for this spiritual place. Climbing trails is non-competitive, accessible to anyone who's reasonably fit, and requires little equipment.    

Rummel Lake hike, Kananaskis

It makes sense for writers to use interests and hobbies in their stories. Whether it's chess, doll-collecting or hiking, this is the author's passion and a subject he or she knows details about without the need for research. But I also want to create a wide range of characters and there are many Calgarians who give zero thought to hiking. So it might be time for a novel without one single reference to my favoured activity. My next novel in the Paula mystery series will take place in winter, when most Rocky Mountain trails are covered in snow and have avalanche warnings. Hiking will be far from any character's mind. 

Unless someone ventures on a mountain trail and the situation turns treacherous and suspicious.  

June's Feature Books are Mysteries - Visit http://bookswelove.net and enjoy some spine tingling suspense

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Mysteries

A Writer's Moon by Barbara Baldwin

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"The Tenderhearted Cowboy is a heartwarming story filled with romance and passion. The book leaves you on the edge of your seat wanting more. Excellent read..." -- Amazon customer

"This novel from one of my favorite authors made my heart race. The novel had a beautiful story line and a happy ending. Thoroughly enjoyed Tenderhearted Cowboy by Barbara Baldwin." 5 stars by Amazon customer

Tenderhearted Cowboy has several night scenes which always include the moon. Regardless of whether you're a writer or a reader, a traveler or a sitter, I'm sure you've gazed into the sky one moon-lit night and let your mind wander. It just so happens that I have too...

A Writer's Moon

            The full moon, yellow and bright against an ebony backdrop, rose high in the sky, shining over fallow fields, dancing across the pond like a thousand fireflies, and whispering to me in the night -- "Come with me and listen to my story.  Let me teach you to love."

            I realize many people have recorded the moon's mysticism long before I picked up a pen, but no matter where my characters reside, no matter in what century they have lived, the moon remains the one constant.

            What enchantment does that glorious globe of luminous light hold that makes me dream of lovers, or write of romance and intrigue?  After all, in rather non-scientific terms, the moon is merely a chunk of rock.  It doesn't even produce its own light, but simply reflects the sun's rays.  And yet in the dark of night, exotic words emerge. 

            Moonbeams, moonglow; a hunter's moon, a harvest moon; phases of the moon, once in a blue moon.  I can promise my heroine the moon, think my hero magnificent enough to rope the moon, and believe witch doctors and sorcerers as they chant incantations to the moon.

            At times when I sit at the computer and the words won't come, or when my characters rebel against my direction, I want to howl at the moon.  It doesn't matter if it is a full moon, a sliver of a moon or no moon at all.  My feelings can't be changed by a crescent moon, or even when clouds obscure the moon.

            There may be a man in the moon, but he can't compare to my hero when the moonlight shines on his golden locks or reflects the passion in his eyes. 

            The greatest writers in history have faithfully administered to the moon's ego, singing its praises and inconsistencies with eloquent words.  It's impossible to forget the majesty of Shakespeare's Romeo (“Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear”), or Alfred Noyes’ The Highwayman (“I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way.”)  It makes little difference that tragedy ended both these love affairs.  The moon must have its say, reminding us it oversees both the love and laughter in our lives, and the tragic termination of our most tender feelings.

            So beware!  No matter the course of your writing -- romance or tragedy, mystery or myth -- the moon will exert its primal pull.  Without conscious thought, you will find yourself incorporating that masterful overseer of human emotions into your manuscript. You are not alone when you disguise the moon behind a veil of clouds. Don't be concerned as you proclaim your characters moonstruck, moon-blind, moon-eyed, or moonish; or when they exclaim over a moon flower, moonscape, moonseeds, moonstones, or a moonshell.  Continue to scatter your writing with moon dust and moonbeams; enjoy each and every moonrise or moonset.  You are in very good company, for in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, there are over 130 references to this chunk of rock I affectionately call A Writer's Moon.


(This essay was originally published in Crumbs in the Keyboard, an anthology. All authors donated their work and proceeds benefited The Center for Women and Families, which in turn benefited those affected by domestic violence.)
Barbara Baldwin
Https://www.authorsden.com/barbarajbaldwin

Writing the Fight Scene by Rita Karnopp

 

When it came time to write my first fight scene I stared at the screen and panicked.  Me, write a fight scene?  What do I know about fighting?

Fighting scenes … just like in the movies … can get too long and boring. You have to give it just the right about of oomph!  And know when it’s over!

Make sure each action furthers the situation and add more than just blows to the chin or the gut.  There must be significance - consequence – and even worth to the fight.  What are the stakes?  How will the results affect your character and those around him?

Should your story include a fight scene?  Ask yourself a few questions before committing to add a fight scene to your story.

Is the fight necessary?  Is there another way to resolve the conflict?  Will this fight show your character flaws or strengths?  Is the fight a live or die situations?  Is it cultural? 

When a fight scene is necessary – When there is no other way to de-escalate the situation – then ask yourself these questions:

• Where will the fight take place?
• Who will be fighting and is anyone handicapped (such as a broken arm or is there more than one against your character?
• Who do you want your reader rooting for - and who will win?

 Do you need a big fight or a skirmish?  Not all fights are the same.  The more significant a fight is to the story as-a-whole, the more detailed it needs to be.

Sometimes a simple blow to the chin is enough to deter a would-be attacker – and one sentence may be all it takes to take care of the situation.

What if your story revolves around – climaxes – when the fight takes place – the winner rules the world.  You’ll need a more elaborately, detailed planned leading up to – and the fight – and then the aftermath.

To make your fight interesting, remember to include a lot of the emotional baggage that led up to the fight.  Who is affected, and will the fight give them satisfying retribution?  This fight must give the reader a chance to savor each blow.

On the other-hand, will this fight create different emotions, such as disgust and disappointment?

Perhaps you want to write a humorous brawl -  In my book Destiny’s Shadow, Laura realizes she’s pinned to the ground when her long dress becomes heavily saturated by the dung infested, slick mud in the middle of the street. Two drunkin’ cowboy decide to come to her rescue … and it ended up being one of the funniest scenes I’ve ever written.  If you’re laughing while writing – there’s a good chance your booklover will laugh while they are reading.

When writing the big-fight scene – The story has been leading up to this point - it’s the crisis (major turning point) of your story.

Keep in mind that you’ll want to create a sort of roller-coaster ride for your reader – the anticipated win – but several setbacks before the conquest.  But don’t go in there and start slugging away. The reader will quickly get bored with it. The temperament and intensity of the fight should change several times.  Give the reader glimpses of a win – then oh no – he’s going to lose.  It’s the twists and turns in the action that will keep your reader gripped in the scene.

Nearing the finish - show determination and drive but give a twist like perhaps your character has second thoughts – maybe he shouldn’t kill the guy – he could just break him?

There are ways to give more life to a big fight scene.  Change the opponents or even the type of weapons being used.  What is the terrain like – is there a cliff edge nearby?  Are there motorcycles nearby that result in a chase-down?  All can heighten the drama.

It's Not Easy Writing True Stories, by June Gadsby

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it’s not easy writing true stories – even bits of the truth inserted into the novel you’re working on – as I have found. But sometimes you can’t help it. It can be helpful, sad, happy, cathartic.

When I first started out being published [I had been writing for many years before then] I was persuaded to write romantic ‘shorts’. After a lot of digging in my heels, insisting that I was not a romance writer and preferred suspense, I gave in. Getting inspiration, for me, was the hardest thing to do – no problem with the suspense. Now, of course, I marry the two and am finally succeeding [hopefully] towards writing the out and out suspense. When my late agent told me that I had turned the saga he wanted into a wartime thriller you can guess how thrilled I was. That book, of course, was The Glory Girls [1] which had one of my three great-aunts ‘sort of’ in it.

Long before The Glory Girls, I ploughed on gainfully with my novellas, but, to the surprise of my writer friends who, at that time, only wrote romance, these shorts were accepted and well received. One of my favourites – well, even writers have their own favourites which they have written – was Valley of Brave Hearts [2]. 

This was inspired by my first dog, Bertie [3] a most beautiful cross beagle and collie who came from an animal shelter at the age of 3-4 months.

Bertie was five when we came out to France to live and the local farmers used to stop me on our promenade around the field and admire him. I was always relieved that they went away happy with all fingers intact. Bertie was only friendly once people were inside our house, as long as our guests was ‘doggy’ people.  He was my protector. Despite his ‘issues’ I loved him to bits.

Three weeks after our arrival in France my stepdaughter got married. I was supposed to go and put him into a shelter recommended by the only person we knew here in France at that time. I knew the minute I saw the place and the people running it that there was a chance I would never see Bertie again. I cried all the way home and my husband decided that the best answer was for me not to go to the wedding and stay here with Bertie, which I did – and thank heavens.

He came out of the shelter less than 24 hours later, soaked in stale urine and with a huge haematoma on one of his back feet. I told the vet that it was a tumour, but he refused to believe it and treated it as a cyst. There were numerable operations – I had to spend a whole month dressing the wound on my own with Bertie’s head clamped between my bare feet – I thank goodness that I still have all my fingers. The vet was amazed at how well I had done. Unfortunately, the ‘cycst’ soon turned into cancer and he had to have a total amputation. But he could still chase next door’s cat over a high wall and lived until he was 15. I still cry when I see him on that last day, having suffered a stroke overnight, dragging himself across the kitchen floor, big smile on his face and making sounds like: ‘Oh, Mum’, look what’s happened now!’

So, he was a perfect secondary character for Valley of Brave Hearts. I cried all the time I was writing it.

JUNE [Gadsby]

Author.

www.june-gadsby.fr

Historic & contemporary romantic suspense, set in exotic lands; families at war and wartime thrillers.