|Me in a past life|
What makes us chose certain things in life, or walk down a particular path? I married my high school sweetheart after some thirty odd years, but it took a long time for us to reunite. Apparently, he had things to do, and I know I had things to do. I married a completely different person, had two children by him. It was a difficult time. I was glad when he suddenly left.
Back in high school, I told my sweetheart I wanted to write, but life got in the way, like the unhappy marriage and subsequent divorce. After almost a decade, I went from a homemaker to being suddenly thrust into the business world.
Because of what I went through and the resulting memories, I loathed the area I lived in with the crime and heat. Suddenly, women started to knock on my door who said they thought my ex-husband would marry them after the divorce, but didn’t. “If you want revenge,” more than one confided, “I will help you.”
Life experiences force us to learn. I wanted nothing to do with revenge, even though my ‘ex’ had one helluva mean streak. He played ugly mind games, manipulated others, and lied. I knew to seek revenge would only lower me to his level and harm my spirit. At any rate, he didn’t care how his actions affected me. Any karma he garnered, he would have to work out on his own. I would not help him.
I said, “No thanks” to those women and closed the door. I changed my phone number, had it unlisted, then when it became too difficult to bear, I sold everything, lock, stock and barrel, and moved. During a weak moment, the ‘ex’ gave me permission to take my children out of the country for a year. This generosity didn’t last, of course.
|Me at the psychic's|
The preparations to leave took a solid six months. I went to a psychic who told me we would live on a hill and I would find love.
I retained a few things and sent them to my brother across country. Once school was out for the summer, I packed the boys in the car and followed my goods to my brother’s house. From there we flew out of the country.
I made an effort to separate myself from the hurt, the betrayal. The long distance helped a great deal. The boys and I settled into our new home, far from the strife of rejection. I finally started writing that book.
If one is on their correct life path, experiences come effortlessly, as if dropped from the sky. It was that way for the preparation to leave and relocate. The area in which we moved was in a recession. People were out of jobs. For lack of housing, grown children lived with their parents. Within a week, we found and moved into a furnished house located on a hill, the owners of which were on a year’s sabbatical in the country I had just left. Our paths had coincided.
I did what I had wanted to do all my life—write. The boys could run and play as I had done when a child, and as my parents demanded of me, I told them, “Return when the streetlights come on.”
Yes, I may have run away, but the experience was liberating. I was no longer reminded of my ‘failings’, how ‘stupid’ or ‘slow’ I was. I could concentrate on my novel. I immersed myself in the past, walked the cobbled lanes, and fell in love with my hero.
After a year, the boys and I moved back, but we went to the area my brother and his wife lived. I had started healing from an abusive marriage. I went to work, and my boys went to new schools. Life moved on and I eventually ran into my high school sweetheart. We are now married.
|My high school sweetheart & me|
So what does this mean?
My high school sweetheart and I were meant to be together, but it took a while. Before we could be with each other, I had to put closure to a few past life experiences. One was the relationship with my first husband in a difficult marriage. Where I had once treated my spouse poorly, this life I was treated poorly by the same entity. I did not want to make this a cyclical matter (what goes around, comes around) scenario, just wanted closure to the bad Karma I had created. I forgave ‘ex’ but I’ll never give him another chance. I’ll never be with that spirit in another life.
My high school sweetheart and I did what we had to do between high school and our empty nest years. I dance through life now because I truly hope the bad slate from a past life is scrubbed clean. As hard as it was, I feel my spirit is much brighter for it.
Many thanks to Wiki commons, Public Domain
Many thanks to Wiki commons, Public Domain