A lot it seems. This post was
meant to be about that first kiss—and how it affected us. But as happens with
research (this is why I love it) you end up finding out a lot more than you set
out to find. While recalling my first ever kiss I was taken back to when I was about
14. That was when I met the boy who gave me that kiss. I was
looking my best
(or so I thought) in a black and white check skirt and jacket that I treasured.
My sister Joan made it for me to wear at our dear Dad’s funeral when I was just
12 (I didn’t grow much in those years). Needless to say, the day mentioned
above saw me also wearing white ankle socks and a white bow in my hair (my
sisters did love to put me in a bow).
My cousin, who was slightly
older than me, and already courting her young man, decided it was time I also
found a boyfriend. I was not that interested to be honest—boys were just pests
at that time. Anyway, the boy she and her friend picked out for me was nearer
her age and quite a good-looking fellow—tallish with dark hair—every young
girls dream. Unfortunately, he took one look at me in my ankle socks and hair
bow and laughed. That killed any thoughts of romance with him. To try to cut
this story a lot shorter, I must have caught the eye of his younger brother who
was somewhere in the vicinity. A few days later, he turned up on his bicycle in
my street and sought me out—told me he thought I looked nice and hung around
for a while, eventually giving me my first kiss. Truth is, I have no
recollection of how that felt, only know that it was at the kerbside. To round
off this story—roll on a few years to when I was an almost married woman. We
met these two brothers at a party. To my utter dismay—or it might have been
relief—the younger one treated his then wife with a certain disdain, flirting
with all the other women, me included, while his older brother had become a
real gentleman.
There have been a few first
kisses since that one, some memorable some not. Funnily enough, I didn’t fall
in love with my husband of forty years at our first kiss. Which goes to prove
that it does not always map out that the best first kisser proves to be the
best partner in life. He was pretty good at many other things that mattered.
So back to my research. It is
believed by some that the idea of kissing came about millions of years ago and
had nothing to do with romance. It is thought that ancient mothers force-fed
their babies mouth-to-mouth after chewing the food, just as many other species
still do.
Many cultural groups did not
have a clue about kissing apparently. Early historians have named India, and in
particular, Verdic Sanskrit who mentioned in his literature as far back as
1500BC that they rubbed noses together. One theory is that while in the process
of nose rubbing someone slipped lower and realised that the lips were more
sensitive and touching them gave real pleasure.
Over the centuries, more
historic references turned up. An epic poem by Mahabharata mentions that when
their lips met she made a noise that produced pleasure. Let’s not forget the
Kama Sutra, a classic text that apparently contains many descriptions on the
technique of kissing. I say apparently, as I have never read it. Then of course
along came Alexander the Great, bless him, whose conquering armies spread the
art of kissing wherever they went. They supposedly learnt of it from the
Indians. Then after Alexander died, his generals went off to various parts of
the Middle East to carry the word—and the kiss.
The Romans, it seems, popularized
the art of kissing and thus spread the practice to parts of Europe and North
Africa. Aha, I was waiting to find out where what we know as ‘French kissing’
derived from. Believe it or not, there were devoted “kissing missionaries’.
What began as a kiss of friendship delivered on the cheek, developed into a
more erotic lips-to lips, and finally a kiss of passion which became the French
Kiss. The Romans even had laws that went along with kissing. If a virgin girl
was kissed in public by a man, she could be awarded full marriage rights from
him.
By the Middle Ages most Folk
in Europe were kissing, but the practice was governed by the rank of the
kisser. The lower the rank the further from the lips the kiss was delivered. So
if you were a lowly serf who could not read or write you signed your name with
an X and sealed the contract by kissing that X. It seems this is how the
practice of putting an X to signify a kiss on your Valentine’s Card or letter
to a loved one came about.
Go here for more
information: https://www.seeker.com/kissings-long-history-a-timeline-1767196852.html
So, this I all learnt because
it has always fascinated me how the touching certain parts of the body by the
one you love can bring so much pleasure, and I was curious about the simple
kiss and got to wondering who touched lips for the first time and thought to
themselves, “That was pretty good.” I cannot imagine the cave
men, depicted
hauling their mates around by their hair, coming up with it. Now we know—it was
most likely a mother feeding her offspring by mouth that started it all. I
wonder if the Vikings found pleasure in kissing. That’s research for another
day.
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