Good at The Bad, by J.C. Kavanagh

Book 2 of the award-winning The Twisted Climb series

Peace and tranquility are by-products of sailing. Capturing these serene moments are difficult. You have to choose between ‘leaving’ the moment to concentrate on a photo/recording device, or, still your soul to imprint the moment on your mind.

Georgian Bay art in the sky

 

Imprinting these special moments adds to the hundreds if not thousands of imprints in the playground of your mind. As I write this, I’m on week two of a month-long sailing vacation in Georgian Bay, Ontario. I’ve mentally captured hundreds of images and stored them all over the playground in my mind. Some are on the ladder steps leading to the zipline platform; some are tied to a slim-shady bridge made of vines, and others are stored in the dark recesses of an old wooden cupboard. All patiently waiting for the perfect moment, for the perfect scene, for the perfect character.

 

 

I’m anchored at The Bad River on the northeast side of Georgian Bay. When the weather is bad here, it’s really bad. But when it’s good, it’s an earthly paradise. This is the place that jumped from reality and into the playground of my mind – and then leapt into the pages of my award-winning sequel, The Twisted Climb – Darkness Descends. There you will find the Devil’s Door Rapids. There too, you will find the treacherous waterfall and the great cliff.

Devil's Door Rapids at The Bad River
Georgian Bay, Ontario

My sailboat, Escape Route II,
anchored at the cliffs of The Bad River

Adventures are calling. Who will respond?

 

J.C. Kavanagh

The Twisted Climb - Darkness Descends (Book 2)
voted BEST Young Adult Book 2018, Critters Readers Poll and Best YA Book FINALIST at The Word Guild, Canada
AND
The Twisted Climb,
voted BEST Young Adult Book 2016, P&E Readers Poll
Novels for teens, young adults and adults young at heart
Email: author.j.c.kavanagh@gmail.com
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Weird Television Shows

Television has given us some of the strangest ideas in entertainment. Here are eight of the most bizarre shows ever:

1) The most tone-deaf concept: Heil Honey I'm Home! 

Hitler getting his ears chewed off by Eva Braun

A British sitcom, written by Geoff Atkinson and produced in 1990, which was cancelled after one episode. It centers on Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, who live next door to a Jewish couple, Arny and Rosa Goldenstein. The plot?  Hitler's inability to get along with his neighbours (you think?) It caused controversy when broadcast and has been called "perhaps the world's most tasteless situation comedy".

2) Love me, Love My Car: My Mother, The Car

As its title suggests, My Mother The Car dealt with a talking automobile. Jerry Van Dyke starred as David Crabtree whose mother, Gladys, has been reincarnated as a 1928 Porter car. Announcing the show’s cancellation in May 1966, The Chicago Tribune’s television critic Clay Gowran called My Mother The Car “a horror that defies description.” A total of 30 episodes were broadcast: the last new episode aired on April 5, 1966.

3) Cook and Vomit: Close to the Bone: Surgeons and Chefs

This is pretty much what it sounds like. Chefs, surgeons, a lot of edible anatomy, plus a dose of hard-body doctor windsurfing footage--turns out the show's resident surgeon, Dr. Hu, knows how to cut through both cervical fascia and sick waves. Everyone involved in this is Canadian, and an article from Dr. Hu's medical alma mater reports that the show actually aired on the Canadian Learning Channel in 2004. Good thing restaurants don't provide health care.

Brutal humiliation of Earthlings by Alien Monkey News Anchors

4) Alien Monkey New Anchors: Mikorte Informativo

Think our late-night comedians are harsh? This Mexican news-satire show has hosts that dress as monkeys from another planet and mock what’s going on with Earthlings.

5) Taking on the Russian Police: The Intercept

Who wouldn’t like to receive a brand-new car for free? That was the concept behind this Russian game show. A guest would come on to the show and drive off with a car. Of course, where’s the “game” in that? So the producers added this wrinkle: After you got your car, they would report it stolen to the police. If you avoided the cops for 35 minutes, the car was yours. The show included “losers” getting beaten by Russian cops.

6) Celebrity Executions: Ramez Galal's Prank Show

Paris Hilton on the Bus to Eternity

Ramez Galal, an Egyptian prankster who has the rapid intensity of someone who takes his Red Bull intravenously, is the star of the show and is accompanied by his crew of "sidekick terrorists." A bus full of actors and one mark (usually a celebrity or group of tourists) is hijacked by Galal and his team, who are covered in headscarves and wielding AK47s. The marks are then dragged out of the bus, blindfolded, forced to their knees and told they're about to be executed. Just before the trigger is pulled, Galal reveals himself and the prank.

7) The Bachelor” knock-off, starring Mothers-in-law: Perfect Bride

This show was what can be called the Indian version of Splitsvilla. Like Splitsvilla the male and female contestants were made to stay in a picturesque villa and performed brainless tasks. However, the winning jackpot, in this case, was not a date but a wedding. And the best part, the mothers of the prospective grooms were also to reside with the female contestants of the show and judge them to be worthy or not of their sons. For those who like romance served with a side of awkwardness, with tension thick enough to slice with a knife.

8) The never-ending drug-trip from the ‘70’s: Monkey

Who? What? Where? How? But mostly, WHY?

Attempting to sum up the plot is an exercise in futility, but needs must, so here goes: An immortal

human-monkey hybrid with magic powers who was born from an egg on a mountain top joins a Buddhist monk who’s actually a woman on a pilgrimage to India. They are accompanied by a water monster (Sandy) and a pig monster (Pigsy) and travel around either on a biddable cloud or a shape-changing dragon who serves as the group’s horse. The horse can talk, and is voiced in the English version by Andrew Sachs. From China.

 Mohan Ashtakala is the author of "Karma Nation," a Literary Romance, and "The Yoga Zapper," a fantasy. Check him out at: www.mohanashtakala.com or at Books We Love, www.bookswelove.com

A modern Miss and a modern kiss...by Sheila Claydon

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With teenage grandchildren I am under no illusion that today's writers have to look to their politically correct credentials if their stories are to pass muster. My goodness how times have changed!

I was first published in the early 1980s when it was still entirely possible for the heroine to be kissed against her will or, through lack of a voice, be coerced into doing something that was anathema. Of course we all know this still happens in real life, in sad situations where women and, more often, young girls remain powerless, but there is no longer any place for this in the sort of escapist romances I write.  Nowadays the heroines are all feisty (and rightly so). They have careers and independence. Their sexual back history is usually alluded to sufficiently to make it clear they are not entirely innocent. They are also prepared to walk away from any romantic liaison that doesn't satisfy them emotionally.

They are, of course, also computer savvy, carry cell phones, drive, often own property and are frequently fearless when faced with either physical or emotional dilemmas.

The only way around this is to write historical romances when life and behaviours were very different, and this became very clear to me when I wrote Remembering Rose, the last book I had published.  It is a story of several romances, one of them being that of Rose who lived in the 1800s. The juxtaposition of Rose's life and that of her great-great granddaughter (researched from historical accounts by real people) is a real eye-opener. I am old enough to remember the attitudes of past times, however, and the practical reasons behind them, whereas modern teenagers and twenty and thirty somethings are not, and why should they be. Life has changed almost beyond recognition and is continuing to do so, and writers have to try to keep up with it.

Lisa, the heroine in that first book of mine, Golden Girl, now republished by Books We Love as a retro romance, is light years away from Rachel, the heroine of Remembering Rose. And so is the storyline. Nobody would ever try to push Rachel around whereas Lisa had to fight off unwelcome advances and suffer in silence when nobody would listen to her voice.

So what does that say about me? Someone who lived in London in the swinging sixties, which, unless you were part of a small coterie of celebrities, were far, far less swinging than history would have us believe! It says I started off as a Lisa but have ended up as a Rachel, something that has happened to many women of my generation but certainly not all. To keep up a writer needs to mix with people of all ages, especially younger ones, and learn from them, or become irrelevant.

I thought of this when I revisited the half written manuscript of my latest novel, the one that has been sleeping on my computer for almost two years while I concentrated on other things. After a hiatus I can feel the need to write stirring again but, because life changes are moving exponentially nowadays, I read it was some trepidation.  What was I going to have to change? Fortunately it looks OK. The language and attitudes are fine and the storyline is still relevant. I am having trouble with moving it forward though because this time there will be teenagers involved as well as the main protagonists who might end up as step parents ( a first for me)...oh yes, and a ghost as well...just like in Remembering Rose. It seems that the village of Mapleby, which is the setting for both books, and for a further one in the future, is haunted...not by ghouls or goblins but by the spirits of past romances. Writing again promises to be an interesting ride.

Romance Is My Passion

To find my BWL novels...

What is Romance?  Is it simply a love story?  While all romances contain a love story, not all love stories are romances. Romances are a genre of fiction. As any other genre, it has conventions, just as mysteries, science fiction or westerns do. 

I love reading good romance novels.  Why? How?  With a grateful nod to poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Let me count the ways….

 

1  Romances have no boundaries.

Romance novels can go back centuries, spanning right through the decades to the present, and into the future. Why? Because love hasn’t changed over the years, plots and genres from historical, to young adult, to paranormal, to romantic drama, comedy. adventure, to western to suspense.  All genres live inside romance.

Nowadays we can read much more about the varieties of love thanks to the LGBTQ community and erotic fiction. At the end of the day:  love is love.

2 Romances can teach 

I know a few things about women’s roles in the first and second World Wars, how women got away with posing as male soldiers in the Civil War…Also how to run a b&b and catch a thief.  Would I pick up a non-ficton book or manual on these subjects? Maybe not.  But through my love of romance novels, I am now far better informed on many subjects. If well-written, the product of the author’s research is in a romance fiction. If a book is set in the 1940s, for example,  you’ll find out the news, slang, what type of clothes people were in fashion, what technology people used to travel and communicate. And it’s all delivered painlessly, as part of a great story. I always value a well researched, informative style of writing, in any genre.

3 Romances feature strong women

Do you like to read about shrinking violets?  With women strictly in the background getting coffee? About women with no voice or opinions?  Well, romance is not your cup of tea.  A good romance novel will show the strengths of a woman, even against adversity. Women will never be stereotyped as weak or “arm candy” or insignificant in romance novels. They are HER journey’s story.

4 Oh, there’s….the sex

Yes, except for in the sweet, close-the-curtain variety, there is, as in life, sex in romance novels. And, as in life, when it comes with consent, and in the right moments, it pulses with joy and wonderful variety!

5 Also relationships

What makes a good relationship? That is a complex question with many answers that are right for different people. By reading romance novels we can compare to our life relationships. That’s why it’s always puzzled me why men who keep loudly wondering “what do women want?” don’t read romance novels.  The answer lies within, fellas. 

6 And always, hope.

Anything  wrong with a little daydreaming of the perfect mate?  How else do we to know what to look for in life?

7 Romances make us laugh, cry…and wait!

That is Charles Dickens’ prescription for good storytelling.  We all like a laugh. There is often humor in romance. The laugh out loud kind, the clever wit, the  sharp one-liners. And who doesn’t like a good cry? Sadness and setbacks get our emotions stirring. And mixing in in a good galloping plot full of conflict, make us wait for ….

8.  Oh, those happy endings

Finally there is that much-derided guaranteed “happy ever after. “  Yes, you’ll find happy endings in romances as sure as the murder will be solved in mysteries and the cattle delivered in westerns. If the romance is good, that happy ending will be well-earned and worth the wait!

How to Get Rich From Writing

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1. Write a book series in a popular genre, with appealing characters and plot.
2. Set the books in a place people love to visit.  
3. Sell the series to a TV producer with a budget to film exteriors at your story locations.

When my husband Will and I travelled to Scotland last year, we were amazed by the number of 'Outlander' bus tours. These  3, 7 and 10 day excursions focused on sights associated with the time travel book series by Diana Gabaldon, set during the Jacobite risings in the 17th and 18 centuries.

History, romance, mystery, adventure, science fiction, Outlander has it all. The tours stop at locations mentioned in the books or used for filming. I don't know if Gabaldon makes money directly from the tours, but they help fuel her fans' enthusiasm for the novels and the television programs that earn her royalties and gain her new readers. In Scotland we met a man taking an Outlander tour solely for the history. We teased him about being stuck in a bus with obsessive fans, most of them women in love with stories' elusive hero, Jamie Fraser.

Eilean Donan castle, located at the bridge to the Isle of Skye, played a role in the highlanders' rebellion

Will and I opted for a less expensive tour through the highlands to the island of Skye. Our guide occasionally referred to the Outlander books and commented that they did a good job of portraying the feelings of the Scottish people of the time. This spring Will and I travelled farther south in Europe, to Sicily. While planning the trip, we searched the Calgary library for movies featuring Sicily and stumbled upon the Montalbano mystery series, based on the books by Sicilian author Andrea Camilleri. We started watching the DVDs and enjoyed the stories, their glimpses into Sicilian life, the scenery, and the characters -- loyal Fazio, Mimi the womanizer, comical Caterella and chief detective Salvo Montalbano, an intelligent, honest, determined man with commitment issues and a love of good local food.

Will playing Montalbano in Scicli 

When we arrived in the Sicilian city of Siracusa in April, we saw numerous notices by tour companies offering day trips to Montalbano film sites a couple of hours away. Since we were later renting a car and planned to drive through this part of the island we thought, let's visit them if we have the time. Brochures for Montalbano tours in subsequent cities made us more eager to fit the sites into our schedule.

On the drive, our first 'Montalbano' stop was Porto Empedocle, birthplace of author Andrea Camilleri and inspiration for Vigata, the fictional town in his detective series. In 2003 the city officially changed its name to Porto Empedocle Vigata to attract tourists, but reversed the decision a few years later, perhaps because the ploy didn't work or residents objected to the commercialism.

Porto Empedocle

Montalbano's house in Punta Secca

The next day, we drove to the seaside village of Punta Secca, the location of the fictional detective's home. This was May 1st, a sunny, warm Labour Day holiday in Italy, and it was hard to find parking. We followed the lighthouse landmark that appears in all the TV shows to Montalbano's house, in real life a bed and breakfast hotel. Crowds gathered in the adjacent square, everyone taking photos of themselves in front of Salvo's home. We walked along the beach, where he swims each morning, alone, except when he comes across a dead body or a crime being committed.

Montalbano's beach, with his home and the landmark lighthouse in the distance 

The Vigata police station scenes are filmed in nearby Scicli. Will and I arrived at the town's main square to find a sign for tours of the 'Vigata' police station. Since we were the only English speakers interested at the time, we got a private tour. The guide told us this was Scicli's actual police station until 2013, when the TV producers bought the locale for a permanent set to avoid having to rearrange items each time they filmed. I would expect the producers of the Montalbano series get a share of the money collected from the tours that pass through the fictional station each day.

Me and Will behind Montalbano's desk in the 'Vigata' police station

We spent the night in Ragusa Ibla. This hilly city and region is the location for all the other Montalbano show exteriors. On the main street, we passed a seafood restaurant announcing that 'Salvo Montalbano' eats here. That is, they claimed that Luca Zingaretti, the actor who plays the character, enjoys the food. The street's bookstore was full of items related to series: DVDs, guidebooks to the Montalbano film sites, all of Andrea Camilleri's novels plus other books written by him, including children's books (souvenirs for the grandchildren) and cookbooks of Montalbano's favourite recipes. A tip for writers: when your novel series goes big-time, make sure you write a non-fiction book about your protagonist's special interest. Camilleri could almost make a living from sales by this Ragusa Ibla store alone.

Poster in Ragusa: Montalbano actor Luca Zingaretti (man on the right hand side) endorses this local restaurant

Andrea Camilleri is far from the only person getting rich from Montalbano. Luca Zingaretti's career has taken off. Residents of Punta Secca, Scicli and Ragusa Ibla reap the multiple economic benefits of increased tourism. Sicily has always been a place tourists love to visit, for the beaches, the history, the food, the sunshine. Montalbano tourism gives the island a little more boost.

Riches aside, this must be enormously satisfying for an author.  
  

Ragusa's stunning hillside landscape is worth a visit even without Montalbano 

       

What's the Hurry? by Karla Stover

I picked up a book, recently, off a help yourself table at my garden club. The brief synopsis sounded promising and, yes, I did judge the book by its cover. I took it home to read.

Page 1. The protagonist loses her job.
Page 2. She finds a "Help Wanted" ad, applies for the job by phone and is hired.
Page 4. She is leaving her home and moving to another state.

Good Grief, that was fast, not to mention more than a little unbelievable.

The book made it to 298 pages but only because it was a small paperback. I compare it to the 454 page hard cover Rosamunde Pilcher book I saved from my mom 's estate. Pilcher was a master of letting her readers smell, see, hear, feel, and smell everything her characters did.

Among contemporary writers, Katherine Pym does a good job of creating the scene. Pym may be one of the only living writers who read Pepys' diaries to guarantee authenticity.
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Anyway, I;m just saying, the senses are sight, sound, taste, smell, and feel. It behooves all of us who write to remember.

State Fair Time

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It’s August, and for many that means county and state fairs. Living in Iowa, the state fair is a phenomenon people make plans for weeks before it begins and talk about it for months after it’s over. The smell of caramel corn, horses and livestock; the sounds of children squealing on the carousel and octopus rides, and the endless sights of people, colors, movement and lights are not something you forget. 

Even with that being said, I’ve yet to use a state fair for the setting of a book, but have used Independence Day celebrations, Christmas, a mermaid festival and the Kentucky Derby. Every celebration or holiday has specific details and rituals which, if the writer has studied well, bring the event to life for the reader. We feel the sweat trickle down our backs in the heat of a summer day and the press of people as we jostle in line for the rides. We smell the roasted corn; hear the vendors hawking the latest in veg-o-matics and massage chairs; see the beautiful quilts and food displays, and taste all there is to taste.

Ah, that’s where the Iowa State Fair shines! At one time, you could get a corndog, cotton candy or popsicle on a stick. Now, it has become a serious undertaking each year to come up with different foods, most of them “on a stick”. Everything from fried pickles to pork chops becomes easily portable so you can continue your walk along the midway and displays. This year’s fair is touting 57 different foods for you to try. (You’d better plan to be there for more than one day!)  Too many to list, I’ve picked a few that sound intriguing.

All things apples – cider, caramel apple bites and cider shakes, apple nachos and more. I think the “Boozy Pecan Caramel Apple” sounds very tempting.

All things bacon – (We’re known for our pork here in Iowa.) How about Berkshire Bacon Balls, on a stick, of course.

Other food on a stick include Brownie waffles, chicken Parmesan and the traditional corn dog, though this one is super sized.

And if it’s not on a stick (and often even when it is) you know it is fried. A few of the favorites this year include deep fried deviled eggs, fried avocado slices, and about ten or more flavors of funnel cakes. One year the group of us tried at least six different flavors of funnel cakes and I went home with powdered sugar all over my shirt.

Last year before my family attended the state fair, we spent the evening watching “State Fair”, the movie. Some of you are thinking Pat Boone and Ann Margaret; I know I was. But not with my brother-in-law at the helm. A movie aficionado, he chose the 1954 version which was set at the Iowa State Fair, while the Pat and Ann movie had actually taken place in Oklahoma. Besides the fact the father had been dousing the mother’s fruit cake entry with bourbon (or some such), the thing I found remarkable were the clothes they wore to the fair. Today you see everything, and quite often less than anything! Some outfits should not have been worn out of the bedroom. But in 1954, the men were in suits and flat-topped straw hats and the women wore heels and dresses with crinolines! Can you imagine riding the five cent Ferris wheel in a dress?

Come one, come all to the great state fair for family fun and entertainment. If you haven’t “done” a state fair, you are missing out on a great time.

I'll be there August 12!
Barbara Baldwin
www.authorsden.com/barbarajbaldwin

So, You want to write a book? ~ by Rita Karnopp

So, You want to write a book?

So, you want to write a book … and you’re wondering if you should read all the ‘How To’ books out there before starting.  What about books on pacing, characters, grammar, setting the scene, mapping out the story, creating a beginning, middle, and an end . . . and it goes on and on and on and . . .

Yep, if you decide before you write word one – you are going to do nothing but research – then you’ll never write a sentence.  I call it procrastination.  Of course, this is my opinion.  I firmly believe we learn to write – by writing. 

When it comes to creative writing - I know there are authors who won’t agree with me.  They’ll ask; “Why reinvent the wheel?”  Don’t get me wrong, reading ‘how-to write’ books is a great way to learn – but it shouldn’t overshadow real writing. 

I believe if you start writing you develop a natural flow – your style – and no stack of books can teach you that.  Don’t taint your creative writing by trying to follow the steps of an established author.  That is her/his style – not yours.

Don’t get me wrong, a beginning writer will find invaluable writing skills in the ‘how-to’ books out on the market. These books can improve your technical abilities and improve your writing skills. Just remember they are training tools – and you must take your own creative license to make a story yours – writing in your ‘voice.’ 

You accomplish this by writing – writing – and writing.  Writing is 80% revisions – and that’s how you learn.  You’ll never type a book from start to finish without revising and even re-writing.  Each time you’ll learn something new … something that will polish the new story … something that you hadn’t mastered when writing before.

I must add, it’s wise listen to advice and comments from editors, agents, publishers, and established authors.  You can learn so much from them if you respond to criticism with an open mind.  Never take it personal.  If you feel the suggestion is an improvement … go for it.  If not … you have the right to ignore it.

When I first wrote my first book, Whispering Sun, my heroine was deaf the entire novel.  An agent loved the story – but said, “You realize this book would be so much better if you could figure out a way to have the heroine get her hearing back early in the book.”  OMG!!  All I could think about is, I will have to rewrite the whole book.  I didn’t want to do that.  But, after thinking about it long and hard – and even if I truly didn’t want to – I rewrote the entire book.  Best decision I ever made.  The story is 95% better!  It’s still my best seller year-after-year - even though I’ve written 19 books! 

Best writing advice I was ever given – and I want to share it with you;  “You’re only as good as your next book.”