To order this novel online |
Was I Supposed To
Declare That?
I discovered he had published a book about his adventures in trying to keep our country safe and protected. Man, he had some stories to tell. You are probably all aware that a vehicle can
be pulled out of the lineup completely at random, as not everyone follows the
rules. Or are actually aware of the rules. (My advice here is make yourself
aware of the rules!) Some of the excuses were beyond belief. "What? You
didn't ask me to declare that. You should have informed me of everything I need
to declare." Which would mean he'd have to spend about four hours going
through a raft of books questioning every vehicle’s occupants as to whether
they have with them anything that is not allowed to be brought in or is
dangerous. Imaging the border queues then, eh?
Drugs are the most likely to be hidden and these people are
so smart with their hiding places. They must have to virtually strip the car
down to nuts and bolts and re-build it – and then do it all again to get them
out! Of course, it’s not only the vehicles they hide them in (and I think you
know what I’m getting at!) so if you’re thinking of border guard as a profession,
be aware it will involve rubber gloves. They are also asked to help the police track down suspected drug smugglers, as the border guards don't need a search warrant to go through your possessions.
It is also very unwise to present yourself at the border
drunk. Especially if you’re the driver. Some so far-gone they can’t stand, some
who have attempted to run the border crossing and even some who have presented impromptu “donations”. Sorry dude but you can’t just drive in and pass out in the parking
lot. Also, if asked to strip for a search it’s a good idea not to start humming
“The Stripper” and trying to entertain the border guard to an “sexy dance routine”
complete with flying underwear.
Two of the stories stuck in my mind. The guy who tried to
smuggle an older car across the border only to realize he had different plates
front and rear. But probably the best (or worst!), and this is where you gotta
shake your head in disbelief, was the elderly American couple in the motorhome coming up
to visit the "Wilds of Canada, where wild animals and Indians roam
freely." Acting on a niggling feeling he asked for a check and found
nearly twenty guns and handguns. For self-protection they said! Well after
being fined $50 per gun and had them seized, needless to say the holiday came to a very abrupt end
and back to America they went. I guess they didn't recon on dealing with the wild and wholly Canadian border guards.
Frank Talaber
Here's two of my Newest reviews for my new novel, The Joining, cover at the top of the page.
I hate You! My wife who is off on medical
leave, won't get out of the bathroom. Can't put your book down. LOL. Bruce W.
I talked to Frank at work and bought four of
his novels, all right up my alley, urban Fantasy and Paranormal thrillers. But
as we were leaving my girlfriend opened up the copy of The Joining, I had
purchased and said, "Stop! You gotta go back I have to buy this
book." Frank had hooked her in the first three pages. Well Done. Joyce Nicholls
Frank Talaber’s Writing Style? He usually responds with: Mix Dan Millman (Way of The Peaceful Warrior) with Charles De Lint (Moonheart) and throw in a mad scattering of Tom Robbins (Even Cowgirls Get The Blues).
PS: He’s better looking than Stephen King (Carrie, The Stand, It, The Shining) and his romantic stuff will have you gasping quicker than Robert James Waller (Bridges Of Madison County).
PS: He’s better looking than Stephen King (Carrie, The Stand, It, The Shining) and his romantic stuff will have you gasping quicker than Robert James Waller (Bridges Of Madison County).
Or as is often said: You don’t have to be mad to be a writer, but it sure helps.
To Order This Online |
My webpage:
http://twosoulmates.wixsite.com/frankt-author-blog
My Publishers Page:
http://www.bookswelove.com/authors/talaber-frank-paranormal-suspense-romance/
My novels on Amazon are at: https://www.amazon.com/Frank-Talaber/e/B00UC407R0
https://www.facebook.com/FrankTalaber/
https://www.facebook.com/franktalaberpublishedauthor/
(My facebook short story page)
https://about.me/ftalaber
Twitter: @FrankTalaber