I found my bliss – in the bathtub
donalee Moulton's BWL Author Page - Coming in 2023 - Hung Out to Die
This article of mine appeared in The
Globe and Mail. I wanted to share it with you at this time of year when life
is bustling and busy. May you find joy.
I understand the appeal of showers.
There is a functionality and practicality to stepping in, under and out. How
efficient. How equally unimaginative and boring. In the shower, there is
nothing to savour except getting the hell out from beneath 50 pounds per square
inch of pulsating water. The fact that showers are measured in psi (as opposed
to bubbles) speaks volumes.
But I am a splish-splash person. I
relish the warm web of water that embraces you in the bathtub. I enjoy being
able to put my head back, relax and wash away the day. I like taking my time,
meandering in my mind and humidifying at my own pace.
Baths were a way of life in our house.
Growing up, showers were simply something other people took, mostly people we
did not know. I kept this tradition up even after I moved out of my parents’
house, into a marriage and through the divorce that followed. But it wasn’t
until years later that I discovered my understanding of the bath and its
possibilities had been severely limited.
It started with a gift of life-altering
implications. Inside the present I discovered bubble bath, a bath bomb,
exfoliating lotion and glove, and moisturizer. Two of these I’d heard of. The
scent was lavender, which I associated with wrinkled aunts and my grandmother’s
underwear drawer.
Turns out, I couldn’t have been more
wrong.
I filled the tub with steaming water,
poured in the bubble bath and the most wonderful scent filled the room. I
smiled, bent down and breathed deeply. Not my smartest move. Inhaling bubbles
is not recommended. But it didn’t matter. I was happy. And about to get
happier.
I stepped into the tub and unwrapped the
bath bomb. This is never as easy as it sounds. They often come in a plastic
sheath that has no identifiable opening and the tensile strength of tungsten. I
persisted. The result was a round, heavenly little orb that exploded when it
hit the water. Gently, of course, and with a colour infusion that filled the
tub with a lovely glow. The exfoliating lotion and glove were next. I felt the
resistance of the glove on my skin. Perhaps even a snag or two. Then, softness.
This time I spend with bubbles, bombs
and bath salts is as much about ritual and reverence as it is about self-care
and luxuriating. I realized this one blissful Saturday night as I was about to
lower myself into a meringue of eucalyptus suds and my husband strolled into
the bathroom, lifted the toilet lid, and got ready to whizz.
He won’t do that again.
There is a rhythm to my bathing ritual.
There is a pattern and a process. Nothing is rushed, there is room to inhale
and time to exhale. The rhythm has become more sophisticated over time. I once
received a candle but admitted to my husband that I was unlikely to use it. He
suggested I light it in my bathing shrine (and all was forgiven).
Today, my bathing shrine includes 10
burning candles: five small, three medium, two large. There is also a tealight
candle that burns inside a Himalayan salt holder, another gift from a good
friend. (I am blessed with friends who indulge my bathroom bliss.) In addition,
I discovered aromatherapy. And there is music, most recently with the chirps
and tweets of birds in the background.
I doubled down on my commitment to
ritual and reverence when my husband and I decided to do some redecorating. My
bathroom tub is now no ordinary tub. Who knew paradise came in porcelain? This
tub has jets that shoot heated streams of water at select body parts, LED
lights infuse a delicate glow in the water and there is a heated backrest. An
aromatherapy unit sends little fragrant clouds aloft every 20 seconds. Poof!
The bathroom, and the tub in particular,
is an expense I no longer attempt to justify. But I have spent some time trying
to understand it. Logically I know that self-care is important. Taking time for
oneself is time well spent. I’ve read the books (okay, an article or two) about
the benefits of finding space from the pressures of daily life. But that sounds
clinical and what happens in my shrine is anything but. It’s about connection –
and distance. It’s about finding oneself – and forgetting about the self for a
few hours. It’s about feeling pampered – and humbled.
One night, I turned on the tap, poured
the juniper bubble bath and Epsom salts into the tub and waited to be enveloped
in a fragrant mist.
And waited.
I did not have hot water.
Ultramar’s message centre assured me
help was on the way. I felt a nudge of joy.
That did not last. The repair guy wasn’t
ruining his Saturday night because some woman’s bath water wasn’t hot. He
eventually showed up but he needed a new part. Bottom line: I had to wait
several days.
I did not hide my disappointment. The
repairman did not hide his indifference. I was not happy about the emergency
call service fee that still left me without hot water. I think he flipped me
the bird on his way out.
But Monday came, the water heater was
fixed and the bath was full of hot, inviting H²0. But this time I breathed in
more than the latest release from Bath and Body Works. I realized at that
moment that my shrine, wrapped in relaxation and reverence, is really about
gratitude. It’s about being thankful to be here and thankful to be. Gratitude
isn’t just about being personally thankful and appreciative, though, it is
about extending that thanks to the world around you. It’s about grace.
I have taken that insight to heart. I
remind myself now to smell the rose water before I speak out; to soak up the
moment before rushing to the next task.
And I have apologized to the man from
Ultramar.
donalee's novel, Hung out to Die, is coming from BWL Publishing Inc. in 2023
Meet Riel
Brava. Attractive. Razor-sharp. Ambitious. And something much more.
Riel, raised in
Santa Barbara, California, has been transplanted to Nova Scotia where he is CEO
of the Canadian Cannabis Corporation. It’s business as usual until Riel finds his
world hanging by a thread. Actually, several threads. It doesn’t take the
police long to determine all is not as it appears – and that includes Riel
himself.