Free Books and other thoughts by Janet Lane Walters #BWLAuthor #MFRWAuthor #Mysteries #romances #fantasy

Another year has passed and it's been an interesting one. Today I've reached my 86th year of life. Seems a long time ago and yet a short time but I'm doing what I live to do, making up stories. Writing fiction gives one the chance to explore the lives of others. Sure they are stories but as they are written, the characters become real and turn into friends.

Katherine Miller has become a great friend and there are elements of myself in the chracter, and I believe of the characters of my other books. Originally published in 1998, she's still going strong.

The characters in this book are fully imaginatary, sort of. I was a nurse and so I am able to capture the hospital and it;s querks. I also am a student of Astrology so this book has elements of that interest in the pages.

The Affinities series was written for my grandchildren and they're in the pages of this series only because my first four hit every one of the four elements of astrology, fire, earth, water and air. I enjoyed writing these books and the adventures the children have.

Another completely imagination created characters and stories. I believe this came because i enjoy the Food Channel and watching the chefs create dishes. Especially since I'm an ordinary cook.

I'm getting ready to let my publisher know to put another book, the first in a long series up for free. Hopefully this will trigger another set of stories and bring them into view. There are several more long series. Right now I'm working on book five of the Moon Rising series and next project will be book 7 of the Moon Child series.

So these are my free books at present. when there's another, I'll let you know. i do wish all the tohers would collect the number of ratings as Murder and Mint Tea. As to date 476.

My Places

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 http://bookswelove.net/

 http://wwweclecticwriter.blogspot.com

https://www.pinterest.com/shadyl717/

 

Buy Mark

https://bookswelove.net/walters-janet-lane/

 

People of the Three Fires, by J.C. Kavanagh

 

The Twisted Climb-Darkness Descends 

Book 2 of the award-winning Twisted Climb series

In Book 3 of my Twisted Climb series, to be published later this year, the main characters (Jayden, Connor and Max) are once again called to 'cross over' to the dreaded dream world - a terrifying place where the sun never rises and the moon never falls. But this time, they are dropped into a deeper, darker place: the Un-World. It is here that the characters take on a new villain and it is here they discover the history of the other-worldly forces.

When I began writing this final book of the series, my initial theme was loosely based on a combination of Roman and Greek mythology, combined with a smattering of Mayan influences. However, my research kept circling back to the great Native Indian tribes of Canada, particularly those in the Great Lakes area. I came to realize that my type of storytelling is better aligned with the beliefs and traditions of the original peoples in my home country, Canada.

If you read my May blog, you would have learned about Manitoulin Island (Odawa/Ojibwe name (Manidoowaaling) meaning "cave of the spirit.") This island is the largest fresh-water island in the world and is located near the top of Lake Huron. Thousands of years ago, this area of the Great Lakes was home to several Indian tribes, though it is believed that all originated from one band, the Anishinaabe. This tribe travelled from the shores of the 'Great Salt Water,' presumed to be the Atlantic Ocean, and migrated to three places: the shores of Manidoowaaling (Manitoulin Island); Baawitigong (Sault Ste. Marie), and Michilimackinac (in the area on and around Mackinac Island). After several centuries, during which time the separate villages developed their own customs and traditions, a new tribal alliance was forged: the People of the Three Fires. 

Sometimes referred to as the Council of Three Fires (Niswi-mishkodewinan), the Anishinaabe alliance consisted of Ojibwe (also called Chippewa), Odawa (also called Ottawa) and Potawatomi. When in council, the Ojibwe were referred to as 'Older Brother' and designated 'Keepers of the Faith;' the Odawa as 'Middle Brother' and designated 'Keepers of Trade,' and Potawatomi as 'Younger Brother' and designated 'Keepers/maintainers of/for the Fire.' 

Map of North America, pinpointing
Strait of Mackinac, the city of Sault Ste. Marie, and Manitoulin Island

As the fur trade progressed and various countries began carving out the Americas, the People of the Three Fires developed a relationship with the French (Wemitigoozhi), the English (Zhaaganaashi) and the Americans (Gichi-mookomaanag). 

For the Anishinaabe people, storytelling was sacred. It was their way of connecting young and old, of teaching messages and fairness. Most stories incorporated character growth that acknowledged human imperfection. In other words, storytelling elaborated on human error to prove that mistakes were an important part of character growth. Tribal elders were called "Knowledge Keepers" and were greatly respected for their wisdom, storytelling and awareness of tribal history.  

In addition to oral storytelling, a secretive, religious society of the Anishinaabe were tasked with
recording historical, medicinal and traditional rituals.
This male/female group was called the Midewiwin, 
which is often translated as 'medicine man.'
Above is a birchbark Midewiwin scroll, circa 1900, auctioned in 2009 for $1,500. 

The relationship between humans, animals and the environment was also considered sacred. The Anishinaabe traditions held that everything in the universe was connected and each had a place of importance and therefore respect. The Seven Grandfather Teachings was a traditional story, told for generation after generation about the sacred standards of life. These teachings centred around: Wisdom, Respect, Love, Honesty, Humility, Bravery and Truth. These teachings, in my opinion, need more reverence in our lives today.

Until next time, stay safe everyone!

J.C. Kavanagh, author of 
The Twisted Climb - Darkness Descends (Book 2) voted BEST Young Adult Book 2018, Critters Readers Poll and Best YA Book FINALIST at The Word Guild, Canada 
AND 
The Twisted Climb, 
voted BEST Young Adult Book 2016, P&E Readers Poll
Voted Best Local Author, Simcoe County, Ontario, 2021
Novels for teens, young adults and adults young at heart 
Email: author.j.c.kavanagh@gmail.com 
www.facebook.com/J.C.Kavanagh
www.amazon.com/author/jckavanagh
Twitter @JCKavanagh1 (Author J.C. Kavanagh)
Instagram @authorjckavanagh

Introducing Paul Doucette, a historical mystery author from Nova Scotia Canada

 

Visit Paul Doucette's BWL Author Page for Details on all his books and Retailer Purchase links

Hello,

            Allow me to introduce myself to this community.

             My name is Paul Doucette. I was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia in February of 1948. It was a time when the city was still pretty much as it was during the war years of the 1940s, in other words, a rough and tumble port city.

            I left home in 1964 to enlist in the Army at age 16. After serving for just over a year, I was honorably discharged and returned home. It was then that I embarked on a career as a Merchant Seaman that spanned 12 years. This gave me my first experiences with the world and its many diverse cultures. When I retired from the sea, I joined a German company with offices throughout North America as a Freight Forwarder but soon advanced to become one of a specialized group of experts handling industrial logistics worldwide (simple put I was responsible for the logistics of moving such projects as nuclear reactors/oil refineries from one country to another).

            Over the course of these careers I have worked and lived in many countries including, China, Russia, the Caribbean, most of North America, Mexico and parts of Central America. During this time, I also managed to acquire three years of university at Saint Mary’s and Dalhousie Universities in Halifax as a mature student. I majored in Philosophy and Anthropology.

            In the early 1990s I returned home and that was when I met my future wife. Unfortunately, she passed in 1997 and shortly after that I took permanent retirement. It was at that time that I decided to explore and develop my artistic side which I had suppressed in deference to work.

Briefly stated, I pursued a new career as a photographer, specializing in large format black and white landscape and architectural images. During this time I acquired a certification from the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design in Photography. Unfortunately, about the time my work was beginning to be recognized my eyes began to present issues resulting in my no longer practising the craft.

            I continued on this path of discovery by diving into another artistic field that I long wanted to explore: Creative Writing. I have always been an avid reader of fantasy and mystery novels, so following the advice of an English Professor I had to write ‘what you know’ I opted for mystery fiction since I could develop stories set in familiar places where I travelled or lived and apply my knowledge of people, languages and histories. You see, it was my intent to write with an ear to dialects of ordinary peoples in their settings and to present those settings with a sense of both place and time.

            I believe I have succeeded in that goal with my Detective John Robichaud series, which is set in Halifax during WWII. I also have two other series written under the same method: Matt Murphy PI set in 1960s Greenwich Village (where I have visited many times) and Paul Jarvis set in the Pacific during WWII.

            I am the author of the Detective John Robichaud Mysteries. I currently live in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.

 

Writing for Young Readers

 

Find my books here

Remember the books you loved as a teen?  How they stayed with you like friends all your life? What were they? A beloved series?  A great classic? 

The first book I ever finished in one day was a Nancy Drew Mystery...The Secret at Shadow Ranch. Wow, too many cliff-hanging chapters to put down, even though it had cost me a month of weekly shopping trips for my Aunt Cece in order to buy!

Only a couple of things bothered me about intrepid Nancy and her sleuthing... one: there were never any characters who looked like me featured prominently in the stories and two: Nancy never aged! I was expecting her to get older, but there she was still fresh-faced and sixteen many many adventures later.  Now, I would add three: that she got conked on the head too many times (poor Nancy...amazing that her brain still worked so well!).

Inspired by my love of books like the Nancy Drew series, I have now written my own ... the Linda Tassel Mysteries, featuring a bridge person like myself and inspired by a friend from my Georgia days, Linda is a member of the Snowbird Cherokee people on her mother's side.  She teams up with Buffalo New York transplant Tad Gist to solve mysteries. They meet as high school students. They grow older together as their friendship deepens and turns to love.

It's a great privilege to write for young people... I love thinking that I may be contributing toward decisions to become lifelong readers. 

I hope you'll enjoy my series. The first, Death at Little Mound, just received a first place in the Murder and Mayhem Mystery Awards! The second, Missing at Harmony Festival was published last month. 

Orangeman's Day in Northern Ireland by Susan Calder

Please click this link for book and author information

Happy Orangeman's Day -- or not. 

July 12th is a holiday in Northern Ireland, commemorating the victory of Protestant William of Orange over Britain's Catholic King James II at the Battle of the Boyne in 1690. Ulster Protestants celebrate the day with marching band parades; Catholics escape the noise and traffic snarls to beaches in the southern Republic of Ireland. 

A month ago, my husband Will and I took a bus tour through Belfast, Northern Ireland. Union Jack Flags, red, white and blue banners, and posters of Queen Elizabeth II decorated homes and businesses in Protestant neighbourhoods in celebration of her majesty's recent Jubilee weekend. Our tour guide said people would leave the decorations up another month for Orangeman's Day. The splashy displays ceased abruptly when we crossed into Catholic neighbourhoods.

Will in front of a Belfast mural

During The Troubles in Northern Ireland from the late 1960s to late 1990s, Orangeman's Day was often marked by riots and violence. Protestants would provoke conflict by marching into Catholic neighbourhoods. During that thirty year 'irregular war' that killed more than 3,500 people, I wouldn't have considered a holiday in Belfast, but I didn't give it a thought this year. We stayed in the Europa Hotel, which experienced 36 bomb attacks during The Troubles and was called the most bombed hotel in the world. Since then, the renovated hotel has gone high tech with 'smart' elevators and window blinds. 

                                 View of at least three pubs from our room at the Europa Hotel 

Our tour bus stopped at the peace wall that divides the predominantly republican, nationalist, Catholic Falls Road area from the loyalist, unionist, Protestant Shankhill Road area of West Belfast. These peace lines are supposed to be removed by 2023, but they've become popular tourist attractions. Former IRA members conduct black taxi tours of the walls, complete with their versions of The Troubles and the current political situation. I found this image an unsettling reminder that the conflict isn't over.  

   

This was brought home to me even more in Londonderry or Derry, depending on your political view. Ireland's second largest city is located close to the Irish border and is about 75% Catholic (Belfast is roughly 49% Catholic). A local guide gave us a tour of the Derry walls, built in the 1600s as a defense against Catholic attacks. He said that during The Troubles Catholics, who lived largely across the river, weren't allowed into the city gates. It's hard to believe this is recent history. 

Aimed at the Catholic side of the river

Since the Catholic and Protestant neighbourhoods rise up from the river banks the city's political divide is visible. Recently there has been some merging. Our guide said he grew up on the boggy Catholic side, but now lives in Protestant (London)Derry. During The Troubles, he knew people who had never ventured to the opposite side of the river. Since 2011, a pedestrian Peace Bridge has connected the two divides. Some suggest the bridge' s 'falling-over' design reflects the shaky peace. Our guide noted that Brexit has refueled the push for a unified Ireland. He pointed out a section of sidewalk damaged by a car bomb, the first since the 1998 Good Friday Agreement that ended The Troubles.      

                                                           Peace Bridge, Londonderry/Derry 
   

I Always Judge a Book By Its Cover by Karla Stover

 

I buy more books, now, than I used to but when I do go to the library or look at the best-sellers lists I get every week, I always consider the cover, first. To this day I don't like the Harry Potter covers and wouldn't have read the books if a so many diverse people hadn't recommended them. I have no idea how publishers choose cover designs. I checked a couple search engines with various combinations of words but couldn't find anything except designs to buy, and one person's blog on the best covers of 2020. Here's the site; you can check it our for yourself but I thought the covers were terrible. https://blog.reedsy.com/best-book-covers.

According to a psychic friend of mine who reads charts at various location, since I am a Capricorn I want perfection in what I read and I am critical if there are mistakes. I also have a Leo rising so I love drama in my reading. Somewhere along the line Saturn, aka The Cosmic Cop, comes into play with Gemini and it all combines to mean I want a well-written, believable mystery. Probably why I avoid cozies. 

I can spot the cover of a cozy from half way across the room (only a light exaggeration). Their book jackets are generally made up of bright tertiary colors and can be almost cartoony-looking. They often have animal pictures on them---mostly cats, or food or drinks. The women don't look real. That being said, I saw an Amish cozy today with a real person on the book jacket.

I get books suggestions almost daily via email. Book Adrenaline ( BA )is a regular. They send me pictures and synopsizes of  mystery books that I might want to read and that are available to download for practically nothing. Sometimes I try to find one at the library because I don't have an e-reader. Today I looked at three emails received on three different days, and BA's suggestions. This time, the dust jackets, again for the most part, were made up of primary colors with a few secondary colors thrown in. If there was a figure, it tended to be realistic. What I looked at had the titles in bold writing such as round-hand calligraphy or modern brush calligraphy. A cozy will likely include something such as Samantha font or Old English calligraphy somewhere on the cover, i.e. in the title or author's name.

Obviously, the purpose of a book jacket is get a buyer / reader to pick up the book, but that wasn't always the case. "Before the 1820s, most books were published unbound and were generally sold to customers either in this form, or in simple bindings executed for the bookseller, or in bespoke bindings commissioned by the customer." At this date, publishers didn't have their books bound in uniform "house" bindings, so there was no reason for them to issue dusts." Customers would often make their own dust jackets out of wall paper, fur or leather. But throughout the 19th century, if a book did have a removable cover,  it was often tossed away, either in the book store or by the purchaser. Some historians say this custom lasted until World War I. Unbelievable.

In the post-war years, however, the dust jackets, often decorated in art deco styles, became collector's items. Imagine a dust jacket being worth more---a lot more---  than the books they covered. One famous example is the jacket of a first edition copy of The Great Gatsby.  Without the jacket, the book runs to $1,000 but with the jacket and depending on its condition, the value runs from $20,000 to $30,000 or even more. The importance of the book, i.e. To Kill a Mockingbird, The Maltese Falcon or Catcher in the Rye, for example and overall condition is key to the value. For some lucky book buyers inflation has affected even reprinted books in a good dust jacket. I looked at a list (only one) of best book jackets ( one person's opinion, )and they weren't cute, in fact, they were a bit grim.

Now, in addition to looking for reading material at the library, I have been considering any old dust jackets I have. Nancy Drew, anyone?

Road Trip by Barbara Baker

Going to Lethbridge, Alberta. Those familiar with Alberta geography might say ‘why’. Others might suggest putting rocks in my pocket. Both are valid statements.

First stop, Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump - a UNESCO World Heritage site west of Fort MacLeod. The site preserves and interprets over 6,000 years of Blackfoot culture. According to the legend, a young boy wanted to see what it looked like when buffalo fell over the cliff. After the carcasses were removed, they found the boy’s body. The buffalo piled so high they smashed his head into the face of the cliff.

As I read the plaques along the trail, I try to imagine what the first buffaloes felt when they realized going over the cliff was inevitable. Or would a buffalo realize their demise was imminent?

The views across the plains are endless to the east and west. The lemon-yellow buffalo bean leans in the breeze and mixes with the wild rose scent as the landscape runs into the snow-covered Rockies.

After a quick lunch stop, we head for our destination. Lucky for me, there is road construction outside Lethbridge and it’s at the best vantage point for a picture of the train trestle referred to as the High Level Bridge. I jump out of the car, dash to the edge of the ridge, snap a few pictures and am back in my seat before the flag person waves us on.

I came here to learn about fossils. As a newbie rockhound with a ‘still shiny’ rock hammer, I’m keen to have fossil names roll off my tongue. If they didn’t have so many syllables it would be a lot easier – Brachiopoda, Articulata, Pachyrhinosaurus. I can remember red rock is pomegranates, but it took me a few times to realize ‘never take me for granite’ is rockhound humour. Also…faults, plates and shifts sound impressive if I could just remember the right sequence which creates the seam I stand on.

The specific type of rock I want to find is called Ammonite. To be honest, unless it’s stamped on the rock ‘I’M AN AMMONITE’, I’m not sure I’d recognize a fossil. But I love being outside and like shiny things so I’m game to see what I can find.

            Spring run off hasn’t started which makes it easy to walk along the wide banks of the Oldman River. With safety glasses on, I smash rock in the bank and watch it crumble. Nothing. I crack boulders as a pair of adult geese and 18 goslings float by. They make me thankful I only have three kids.

Bald eagles scout out their next meal as I roll stones over.

Trails run up the banks and into the river valley. A couple mountain bikes zip by. A fisherman with the biggest smile waves a large whitefish at us. More rock smashing and then around the corner, I see a cliff. Even in my newbie rockhound status, I can tell the layers in the face are different. Too bad it’s across the river. Apparently, people have found shark teeth in the sediment.

I did not find any Ammonites but am pleased with the lava rock (almost light as a feather) and worm fossils I uncovered. A fun and educational road trip with great food along the way and, of course, red wine.

Where are you going? If you could go anywhere, where would you end up?

Summer of Lies: Baker, Barbara:9780228615774: Books - Amazon.ca

Summer of Lies - YouTube

Smashwords – About Barbara Baker, author of 'Summer of Lies'

Barbara Wackerle Baker | Facebook

Barbara Wackerle Baker (@bbaker.write)

         bbaker.write@gmail.com

 

 

Some news of Vanessa Hawkins who has been caught by the massive cyber beast

 Since Vanessa is one of the unlucky ones who isn't able to access her internet or her social media, BWL Publishing is sharing some of her book news to entertain her readers who I am sure will be missing her monthly post.

---

Scarlette Fortune has been watching the turmoil of Comero City since the start of prohibition. As the city’s first female copper, and one of the only vampires on the force, she’s eager to make a good impression with the brass. With goblin gangs stirring up trouble, a demon bar selling liquor to half the city, and every other officer on the take, a bust at the local docks seems like a good place to start. But it only puts her in the crosshairs of the city’s most powerful criminals, including local dragon Shad O’Rahin.

Disguised in human form, Shad’s been running a speakeasy and the last thing he needs is the law after him. When he approaches Scarlette to scare her off his tracks, he doesn’t expect to fall in love. Things seem to be looking up for both of them until the anti-monster organization, AMO, rolls into town ready to clean up Comero. Their first priority? Dragon-slaying.

Scarlette’s new beau isn’t prepared to confront the issue without his scales on. So what can she do? A vampire copper should be keeping her head down with monster hunters around… especially when her ex is leading the AMO task force.

 

---

 

Simon Todd is an everyday accountant, who after unceremoniously falling from his neighbor's roof, somehow finds himself dead and transformed into a ghost on a quest to find dragon treasure.

 

He is joined on his journey by the horrid scoundrel and gunslinger, Dick Dashing, the sweet and powerful necromancer Miss Baxter, and Jane -- not John -- Darcy (the dragon in disguise who doesn’t quite understand the nuances of gendered nomenclature).

 

While traversing across the country of Freland, the unlikely party discovers that their trek for gold is involved in a conspiracy with wizard mobsters. Mages begin appearing who attempt to collect Miss Baxter for ransom, and Simon (smitten by the young, undead-wielding wizardess) finds himself within the center of a revolt against the unscrupulous Chancellor Heironymous Grimguild, leader of the wizard mafia. To make matters worse, Simon is confronted by Hell Lords, the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and circus-crazed Reapers bent on sending the hapless accountant to hell! If he can’t get the hang of his ghostly powers, Simon Todd will be less a help but more a burden to his ragtag party of friends.    

 

Meanwhile Jane, the proud purple diamond-backed dragon in disguise who had originally thought to devour the would-be treasure bandits, must decide which is more important: his wonderful hoard, or the increasingly endearing bundle of fools he has found himself amidst. 

 

Can Simon help Miss Baxter evade the mafia of decorated wizards? Will he be able to bargain the Reapers for his life and procure for himself even a modicum of dragon treasure? Will humans prove too sweet for a gentleman dragon’s diet?

 

Editorial Review from Rabid Reader

 

Witty, imaginative, stylish, and very well-written fantasy

Hawkins had me at the beginning when her protagonist died, falling off the roof, while spying on his beloved. Yep, he spends the book as a ghost and that's the kinda book it is. Fantastic. It's like the Coen brothers conspired to make a steam-punk, British tale of whimsy, fantasy, and fun, yet Hawkins ain't British or a Coen. I loved this book. When it takes a turn toward cliche, it veers hard off the beaten path. A major character is a dragon in human disguise who chose (due to his literary leaning) the unfortunate name of Mr. Jane Darcy. Nominally steam-punk, Hawkins' book is so much fun, I couldn't wait for it to end. Definitely looking forward to Ms. Hawkins' further writing. Highly recommended to fantasy readers or, heck, just plain readers. I don't like fantasy that much. But I do love this book.

The Human Library by J. S. Marlo

 

Seasoned Hearts

"Love & Sacrifice #1"

is now available  

click here 

 

 

The Red Quilt 

"a sweet & uplifting holiday story"

click here 

  

J. S. Marlo's BWL Books

I stumbled on a post on Facebook about Human Library. I should have been writing, but the post was intriguing, so I couldn't resist digging deeper.

In a Human Library, you borrow a person instead of a book to listen to their life story for 30 minutes. The tag line is "Unjudge Someone". The goal is to fight prejudice and to remind people not to judge a book, any book, by its cover.

Each human book has a title: "Unemployed", "Cancer Survivor", "Autism", "Wheelchair User", "Refugee"... 

Human books interacts with their readers in a safe place where difficult questions can be asked and honest answers can be given. All human books are volunteers who personally experienced their topics.

The first Human Library event took place in Copenhagen, Denmark, in 2000. Today, human books are available in more than 80 countries, including Canada, USA, Australia, and most European countries.

For more info, visit humanlibrary.org

Happy Reading & Stay safe!

JS

 

 

J. S. Marlo's Website

 

The Muse of Nature by Eileen O'Finlan

 

   

Click here for purchase information

Click here to visit Eileen O'Finlan's website

I recently spent a day at the New England Botanic Garden at Tower Hill in Boylston, Massachusetts. I used to have a membership there, but let it lapse during the COVID shut down. I figured I wouldn't be able to go anyway, so there was no sense in paying for something I couldn't use. But a few weeks ago my sister and her friend came to visit from Florida and wanted to go. My niece joined us and the four of us spent a lovely day wandering the gardens and woodland paths.

As I guided them out to the Belvedere, I remembered days that I had spent sitting alone in that Grecian-style structure. Those were days when I'd spend hours writing in my notebook, every so often looking out at the woods, the land below gently falling away, Mount Wachusett rising in the distance above the ribbon of blue that is the Wachusett Reservoir. It seemed that whenever my writing steam began to fade all I had to do was drink in the view for a moment and something would come to mind. Nature has that influence on me. It feeds my soul and my imagination.

As I stood with the others looking out at the view, my hands suddenly itched for a notebook and solitude. 

I think it's time to renew my membership.

View from the Belvedere 

Wildlife Refuge Pond at Tower Hill - Another inspiring location

Hush

 

Hush

Jay Lang

http://bookswelove.net/lang-jay/

 

Hush

An Excerpt 

Pulling over to the side of the road, I turn off the engine and grab my phone from the seat. With my heart racing as fast as my mind, I quickly redial her. The automated message comes on immediately.

I feel the panic rising. I place the phone in the cubby and look at my watch. It’s 10:45pm. The last ferry leaves in fifteen minutes. I’m too far away from the terminal, but I’ve got to try. 

Tall trees reach high up to the small strip of night sky. My foot is heavy on the pedal, the truck fighting to stay on the winding road.

 

Chapter Two

 

The soft chatter of people I barely know reduces to white noise as I make my way in the direction of the red mahogany casket. I take a seat at the front, next to Mom, and I put a hand on hers. Denny is sitting on her other side, concentrating on his phone. He briefly looks up at me, showing his indifference, and then resumes texting.

“You look nice, Ma.”

She forces a grin while keeping her eyes forward. She’s pale and looks lost. Her cream skirt and matching blazer hang loosely from her body. The last two weeks in hospital have taken a toll on her already spindly frame. Besides the bandage on her forehead, the only other reminder of what happened is a small black brace on her right knee.

A lady wearing a flowered dress and a cardigan walks across the stage and sits at the organ.

When she starts to play, the chatter in the room dissipates. Mrs. Rumble, who is sitting on the bench behind us, taps my shoulder and offers her condolences.

The next hour of the pastor’s sermon is painful, not because I feel sad, but because of the guilt I have for not feeling anything at all. My father was a son of a bitch and I was his greatest regret. As I was a child full of promise in the beginning, he would bounce me on his knee and help me with my homework. In his mind, I would be a doctor or a lawyer, not a salmon hatchery worker and definitely not a lesbian. Hence my banishment at twenty-two to our summer cottage on Gabriola—far away from the West Vancouver palace I grew up in, and far away from his disappointed eyes.

When the service ends, the pastor and Denny walk down the aisle to the exit then wait to thank people for coming. What a crock of shit. Most of these people hated my father. The only respect they had for him was fear-based. He was a shrewd businessman and if you weren’t for him, you were against him. Undoubtedly, there are a few people in this room that were on the wrong end of his wrath.